Back to me telling you for copyright reasons that I'm not Stephenie Meyer. All rights to the Twilight Saga and these characters go to her. This chapter contains softcore lemons. Enjoy! (:

Chapter 32: Meadow

The morning light grew through the mist hovering in the trees as it entered through the tall windows into the house that I once used to call home. It glimmered past the piano that I had found myself residing throughout the night, playing immensely of the old tunes I had composed throughout the years. I had not normally played frequently since Bella had arrived at Forks, and I had halted my productions again when I had left her behind to keep her safe. Again, what a decision I had made, a decision that I made without any knowledge of the possibility that Bella would find herself with more trouble. An even greater threat to her than my own existence. While my threat to her in other ways were greater, based on my species existence and show for being a notorious predator, her threat was merely found with young wolves. Young wolves who have no control. This ancient wolf line that once existed to protect their tribe in the past, and watch over the land to keep away my species, had retired, and are now left with new, adolescent wolves who had not conceived the experience that the wolves before them had.

And of course, my Bella, had found her way to find more danger to bring into her life. My absence had not ceased her decision making to keep herself safe, nor had her promise to me done any effort in the matter. It was my place now to watch over her, but not too close. I dare not to interfere in her life again, not like I had before. Her safety mattered, and so I will stay until I know she is safe, again, for however long it would be until then.

I decided to withdraw myself from the piano and head my way out towards the woods to find something proper to eat, for now I was parched. The rats in the attic never sufficed, but at the time, I never felt moral acceptance with my existence enough without Bella to care to find anything filling. I headed out, leaving the window filled structure behind me, staying within the treaty line to avoid conflicts. I had found a doe, but I tended to feel more empathy towards a mothered animal, as I could see the fawn growing within her. I ventured a little farther out, looking for something to quench my thirst that withered in my throat. Beyond a stream, I noticed a large buck who had also felt parched and in need for a drink of water. This would have to be my victim for the week. I leaped forward, grabbing onto the buck pulling it to the side of the stream, holding it down as I bit into its neck, running my tongue along the wound to continue forcing the venom to clot the blood from pouring out. As I watched the deer lose consciousness, I ran my hand down its neck, to calm it further, leaving it to rest.

That would have to be it, and now I needed to do what I stayed here for, to keep her safe. I ran out of the deep area of the woods, running down the tree line towards her house. I stopped a safe distance away, to listen in to any thoughts being near and close by. Of course, I could only hear a few of Charlie's. Not much to listen to, not many words, not many thoughts breaking through to me, but enough to acknowledge that he was in mourning, and off to fish. I could hear that boy again, his mind. I could see him looking up at Bella from the floor while she looked down at him from her bed. His thoughts were full of happiness, just looking at her. I knew that feeling, that feeling of warmth, but of course, his thoughts of her never could amount to the ones I have for her. He would leave, he would not put her in the path of danger if he cared that immensely for her, just like I had. But then again, I am here, causing her danger again by coming back.

Ha, I'm so slick. Charlie didn't see a thing.

Oh, I can come back to bed now, and lay down with her, have her on me again.

Yes, Bella, mmm. Just another hour…

I suppose he had drifted off to sleep with Bella, my Bella, wrapped in his arms. His thoughts weren't too unkind, but as a boy, I expected nothing more exquisite to have formed in his thoughts about her. And so, I waited. The rest of the wolves seemed to have left earlier this morning as the sun began to rise. I presume they could not find my trail, and nor will they. I'd have to be more careful, more careful to not leave any traces behind.

Bella, yes. I knew it, I knew you'd choose me!

Of course, Jacob. It's always been you, since we were kids.

Just had to get those stupid blood suckers out of town, huh.

An image of my mauled body, broken into pieces were drawn in his mind, laying on the beach nearby them.

"You saved me, Jacob, how could I ever repay you?"

"You and me, honey."

I had to think other thoughts after that, the dreams of this boy were so adolescent, so impure about Bella. But they were deep thoughts, hard to keep myself distracted from.

Bella on top of him, as her body was stripped of her clothing. Him suckling onto her breast as she moaned out to him.

Jacob, yes, Jacob.

I could see his thoughts peering at her body as she lifted herself up, sitting on him, moving her hips back and forth, up and down. I could see the shaft of his penis, that Jacob himself imagined to be abnormally large, and most likely not up to par.

It's too big, Jacob. I can't handle your large cock, it feels so gooooood!

Yeah, Bella, that's right. Let me fill you—

I tried ignoring them again, ignoring the horrendous thoughts running through his dreams. His view of Bella's body did not quite suit her. Bella was more petite, and he had imagined her breasts to be massive and her rump to be quite too round. No, I have not seen her in the nude, or ever undressed, but even I know that the proportions he gave Bella did not suit her. She was beautiful the way she was.

The sun grew farther, and I dawned myself just a little closer to hear. I could hear her shower running, and then footsteps walking down the staircase, fumbling around, and pans being pulled out of the cupboards. She must be preparing breakfast while the boy continued to sleep in her room. The room I dreamed of ever being in again. I could smell the burning of eggs in her kitchen, fuming throughout the downstairs corridor. I could then hear a thought, a mind breaking through a dream, and he was awake. He was confused, not knowing where Bella was, and then smelling the food and becoming overjoyed to come downstairs.

They began discussing the news in the newspaper which contained nothing interesting. And then his mind wandered over the events of their day—events that I could not join along with because they would be on the reservation—a line I could not cross. As they headed out the door, I too left the tree line of the street. I walked back into the woods, contemplating my mind, thinking over the dream he had with Bella. How horrendous of a dream, but again, a dream of an adolescent boy who lusted over a beautiful girl. I did not want to roam the woods, I wanted to find comfort, and that comfort was her room.

I made my way over there, not continuing to entail on the thought of leaving my scent behind, as I hoped he would not have another night over at her house. I pulled open the window and guided myself inside. The room was quite different. The photos on the walls were taken down, the bed was not made as she usually kept it, and dust did not fill the top of her desk, but my throat still burned. Burned by the floral scent of her, the scent I craved for so long. I ran my finger over the bed, and casted myself to sit on it. I made sure to keep my distance from the side that was closest to the window, and I had lied down. Taking it all in, the fresh scent of her, the strawberry shampoo fragrance that filled the pillowcase's threads. So heavenly, I assure myself that this would be the closest feeling to something higher up than I would ever have.

I sat myself back up after a few moments and found myself lurking around the room. Running my fingers along the furniture, feeling for the squeak in the floorboards. I leaned down, to open them back up, but the hole was empty. I knew it was found after overhearing that conversation they had, but I have not the idea of where it was put. I closed the floorboard back into its place and continued to look around. I investigated her closet and opened a few of her dresser drawers until I found it in the bottom one, the one never used. I assumed it was befitting to put it in a drawer that's never opened. I pulled it out, opening it. I looked through the fumbled box, looking at the photos of her. I glanced at the plane tickets that were soon to expire in the next several months. And then the CD, the one filled with all my composed tunes that I had given to her as a gift. The one she seemed to have loved, very much. I closed the box, putting it back in its drawer again, where it was exactly resided in there, closing the bottom drawer.

I proceeded to walk around the room, thinking, thinking of my time being here for just these few hours. And then I ran back to the thought of Victoria.

I had tracked Victoria throughout my past months of grief until I had fully lost her scent. With Alice's persistence, she too had lost track of Victoria through her visions. But, what would Victoria be doing here in Forks? Surely there would be no reason for her to have come. One of her small nomad coven friends were dead, and the other had left for Denali quite some time ago. But what was she doing here back in Forks and why would they assume that the scent was from Victoria.? They apparently had run her off, but why would she have possibly come back? Why to Bella's? I admit, in the clearing of that field where we were met with James, Victoria, and Laurent, I was mostly paying attention to James's thoughts. I could hear a few thoughts coming from Victoria, of her assurance of his tracking, that he would be successful in his hunt. But, why so? Did she possibly have ties to him, a response from her that I never realized had hinted that they were linked? But now, I think I do realize why she was sure of him, and that the thought of him failing had never occurred to her. It was her confidence that overclouded her feelings for him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there.

So, what was it? What drew her to Bella? Was it my bond to Bella? The way that I had protected Bella from harm must have shown that I too was linked to someone. Was this a form of revenge? She had to notice that I had left. What good would it have done to kill Bella while Bella had moved on. But maybe that is what it was. I had killed her mate, and she was now after mine. The only difference was that my bond is stronger than hers was for him. If Bella had passed, I would make sure my existence no longer extended any further. I would have instead killed the one that had killed her, and left for Italy to join Bella, even though I most likely would never see Bella again after my doom. Victoria had many chances to spar me, but she ran, as she always did. This was something I would have to take care of myself, but not yet. Not while I have no trace of where she was, so for now, I would have to stay near and keep Bella safe.

I traced myself around her room again, breathing in her scent, and headed back out the window into the tree line. If Victoria was a problem, and would continue to be one, I should call Alice. I pulled out my cell phone, dialing her up. Only one ring passed before she answered.

"Edward, hello!" she said to me cheerfully.

"Alice—hi. See anything?"

"No, not that I know of. The house looks atrocious with all those sheets lining the furniture. You should really make yourself at home, and then we all could, as well!" She jeered at me.

"Please, not right now. I need you to watch Victoria, if you can."

"Okay, Edward. But I only get small blips every now and then. Sometimes I see her deciding to go back to Forks, but then they disappear, and she decides to go somewhere else."

"So, you see her coming back to Forks?" I asked impatiently.

"No, not exactly. Just, give me a few hours, and I'll call back when I look some more."

"Okay, thanks." I said to her, flipping the cell phone shut.

Few hours were not something I had patience for, but it would have to do. As long as I am here, I can track her if she enters town again, and I can end her that way.

I decided to walk around the woods, waiting for Bella to come home from her dangerous adventures of the day. I guess I cannot be too surprised that she had found herself in the position of more trouble. Trouble seems to follow her. She has an adolescent werewolf courting her, a masochistic vampire in love with her, and a nomad vampire tracking her. Of course, this was my own doing. This was all my fault, introducing her in the world of the supernatural, in the world of danger that seems to continue to follow her. Even with my presence gone, my existence entering her life simply has only endangered her.

How selfish of me, to have involved my world into hers, to have spoken to her instead of ignoring, to have insisted on knowing her. What a life I was given, a life of pain and, nonetheless, to cause instability.

Nostalgia overwhelmed me thinking of how I pushed myself into her life. The day I took her, when I had insisted for her to tell her father, or at least someone, that she would be going on a trip with me during homecoming, alone. I remember not feeling so sure of myself, and that it was imperative for her to have told someone she was alone with me so that I had a reason to hold myself back from killing her. But, of course, stubborn and recklessness seeking Bella decided not to, and left with me anyways. I do not think she understood the danger she was bringing to herself that day, nor had I realized how much self-control I had when it came to her. Would I say I had a lot of self-control? Of course not, but my infatuation of her held me back. I took her to the clearing that day, to show myself to her, to show her the monster that I was. And she seemed to be unhindered by it all, but Bella was not ordinary in any way. An ordinary person would have called the police, or called the entire militia to hunt me down, but not Bella. She stayed persistent to keep testing my self-control. Her hand, touching my skin, fueled a roaring fire in my throat that I had to relieve myself from—leaving her curious touch.

I found myself heading towards the clearing, aimlessly, full of longing and nostalgia as I had felt in her room. After I had a few hundred feet of distance from it, I could hear thoughts coming from a mile away.

Dodge, Dodge, Jump. Dodge. I bet she's having a good time. Her fingers curled into my fur feels so nice, and her legs wrapped tightly around my body feels mmmm…

Jake, another voice said. I assume the deepness of it was the pack leader.

Sorry, sorry… damn pervs need to get out of my head.

Jake, you good? Turning back.

Go ahead, we will be back soon… hah. Too fast for him.

Hardly.

I kept my distance from the clearing as the thoughts grew nearer. Was he taking her here? To our meadow? Well, I suppose it is not our meadow anymore, for I had left her behind. And what did he mean having her legs wrapped around him? I needed to get a closer look, but with enough distance that he would not notice my scent. I moved forward more, lurking behind the overgrown vines that clung around the tree's shaft. I could see the large russet wolf entering the meadow, that was covered in weeds, and unbloomed flowers carpeting the floor. My Bella, with her face buried into his fur, as she was propped forward on his back, riding him.

What is she doing? What was he thinking? Relying on her to hold herself onto him while he ran through the woods? How senseless this boy must have been to have found this to be even remotely safe for her. But, her face. A face I had not seen in person for the first time in what felt like forever. Her beautiful hair draped around her cheekbones and jawline, but she looked different, and much slimmer than I had last seen her. Had she not been taking care of herself? She looked so fragile, and way too fragile to have been given the option to ride upon the back of a reckless wolf who seemed to have no care for her safety.

Her mouth gaped open and looked to be in shock as she glanced at the meadow. She hopped off his back and kept staring until she turned around and looked back at him.

"You remember this? It's the place you first saw me as a wolf. I mean, you didn't know. But it was." Jacob said.

I could see these thoughts playing in clips of that moment, of Bella in the meadow once before, but she looked to be in great fright, but she was not alone. She appeared to be with someone else. Laurent? Laurent was here? What was he doing with Bella, and how long ago was this? After those brief clips of recent memories flew through his mind, his thoughts led somewhere else, and mostly lied on watching Bella. He was filled with hope, and excitement to have taken her here, and for the most part, energized by the fact that he could take her here on his back.

Bella stayed silent and paced herself over towards the broken tree that I had ripped from the ground during that event we had in this meadow. When I tore it from the ground to scare her off, to show her what I was capable of, to show her the monster that I was. I remember wanting her to be scared and wanting her to actually think logically like a normal person would when seeing what I could do. But I also remember that I did not want her to run. I wanted her to stay—to stay with me. She grazed her hand over the rotting piece of wood, and I could see a tear roll over her cheekbones, and down her sunken face. Tears. Were these joyful tears, or sadden ones? Why would she have fallen unhappy? These memories of her brought me joy, and happiness for the few moments of my life I had spent with her. Were these tears of regret? Regret to ever had met me? I could not push blame on her for that. I brought ruin into her life ever since my first 'hello' to her.

"Bella? Bella are you okay?" Jake said to her, wrapping her in his embrace, "I'm so sorry. I should've thought better about it. Especially since you ran into one of those blood suckers here."

Laurent is the one he must be talking about, and now I could see the full image, the full story rushing through his thoughts. Laurent was in the clearing with her, facing her, as he sniffed at the breeze that blew threads of Bella's hair in his direction.

Mouthwatering, Laurent said.

And then, Laurent paused, and whipped his head towards the direction of the wolf pack.

I don't believe it; Laurent had said with a low voice.

A large black wolf, clearly the alpha who must have been Sam, had forced Laurent to retreat towards the edge of the trees. I could see Jake joining Sam on the endeavors, along with the rest of the pack prowling into the meadow. And then, Bella's face formed in his mind as he stared at her frightened expression. He then took off after Laurent following the pack. I could see in his mind of them shredding Laurent into pieces, limb after limb.

So, Laurent was dead. I had thought he was a better man than that, who I thought was trying to become a more humane one in fact when he headed out to Alaska to meet the Denali coven. So, the wolf pack was strong. I had thought, anyways that they were, but seeing it with my own eyes through his mind was different.

I lurked in a little further forward, to get a better view of her, and to hear her voice.

"Yeah, could we leave?" Bella asked him. Jacob looked down at her, wiping the tear off her cheek.

"Do you want to 'ride' the werewolf?" He smirked at her. I rolled my eyes at his inappropriate choice of words. I inched forward a little more, to watch her facial expressions, but she was laughing.

A slight beam from the sun rays hit the surface of my skin, causing it to shimmer as I inched closer.

"Shut up, Jake." She said, laughing with him. And then, she paused, with her face cocked sideways, leaning into her peripheral vision towards my direction. I darted my way out of the light, hunching myself behind the trunk of the tree, again. And then, she turned her head looking into my direction as I hid in the shadows. Could she have seen me?

"You know? Yeah, change back. I don't feel like walking, to be honest…" She said to him.

"Whatever you say," he replied, and then changed into his wolf form as Bella retreated away from him to keep safe distance. I am glad she understood those things, at least. For me, she did not care. I remember her wanting to watch me hunt, which would be incredible dangerous, not to mention frightening, but she seems to understand Jacob and his boundaries for safety. Watching the boy take shape into the form of the wolf was quite remarkable, and intriguing really. Watching his full body, contort, hearing the muscles and bones shift in his body as they came together to adapt to the body anatomy of a wolf, and the fur forming over his skin. It all was a very brief change, and it seemed to not cause any harm or pain to him when he did it.

Bella then climbed on top of him as he kneeled to the ground so she could get on top of his back easily. Then, she had looked over at me, again. Or, at least in my general direction. I could hear a low grumble in Jacob's throat as he waited impatiently for her to put herself in the correct position for him to take off away from the meadow. In a way, I was satisfied with that arrangement—how he waited for her to put herself in a safer position to hold onto him. I guess in a way I had over judged his awareness for her safety. He did seem to care a good deal for her, and for that, I was grateful.