Taya's Point of View
The last couple of days had been an ordeal. But whenever I remembered that it was Uta's blood that had brought me back, I felt warm inside. It was her warmth that was now flowing through my veins...
The warmth I would get from these thoughts helped me fight the chills I got from having pneumonia. I was discharged from the hospital again, late that night, as morning approached. I was prescribed antibiotics, pain relievers, along with medicines that would help me cough up the fluid in my lungs. It sounded nasty, but I would have to get rid of it somehow.
I decided to keep my distance from Uta for a while. I was sick. I didn't want her catching what I had. So I mostly stayed in my room and slept for the next day. Uta occasionally dropped by for visits and to check up on me, however.
I began to open up to Uta about something else though. About how I felt like I was such a burden. I certainly was feeling like one now.
"You know, I've always felt like this." I said. "That I'm a waste of space, and that I contribute nothing to the world."
"I... actually feel similarly about myself sometimes." Uta said. "I'm sorry, Taya. But we both have to learn to combat this I guess. These feelings lie to you."
What she just said, actually shocked me at that moment. Ah... now that I did think of it, Uta did have depression.
"I'm... sorry." I said. "But Uta... you're certainly not a waste of space, okay? You are incredibly special. You are an amazing person with an amazing gift. You're kind, brave, and always help out others. You have a gift at the violin and play it with such sincerity. You have a warm heart and bring people together."
"Taya..." Uta responded. "I appreciate it. But I think if anyone here is special, it has to be you. You have an incredible heart. You can see the good in so many people. You see the glass half-full, you're caring, selfless, and thoughtful. You're a gifted singer, musician, thinker, and very introspective. You make me laugh, and well... I can't imagine life without you."
We both stared at each other in a bit of awkward silence.
"...Ah." We said at the same time.
"I'm flattered you think that about me..." I said. "But... I've always felt like I'm just nothing, but... if you can see all that in me, then... thank you."
"Thank you as well, Taya." Uta said. "For the compliments, and for being you."
I smiled. We hugged, but without our faces being too close so that Uta wouldn't catch my sickness.
—
In the evening, I needed up getting another surprise group visit from my buddies, Ruko, Ritsu, Momo, and Teto.
"We heard Taya was sick." I heard Momo say to Uta. "He's been through a lot lately, hasn't he?"
"Oh, come in!" Uta let them all in. "Try not to disturb Taya too much. Also, he's been really concerned about anyone else catching his pneumonia. So if you enter his room, try to keep your distance a bit."
I greeted them from my room.
"Hello everyone!" My voice was still weak, but they heard me.
"Taya!" They answered.
They went in my room and all presented gifts to me!
"So, I went and looked around my house for this, and it turns out I still have it after all." Momo said. "I remembered you said you liked the anime, Cardcaptor Sakura. Here's three old volumes of the manga series. A present for you to keep! Have you read the manga version before, Taya?"
"Oh! I have not! Thank you so much, Momo! That's very thoughtful of you." I said.
"I made this CD of a bunch of cool songs I think you'd like." Ruko said. "A lot of them are from anime, though I think they'd fit your aesthetic. I feel like you love piano and house EDM."
"Ah, yes, I do!" I answered.
"Yes! I was right!" Ruko cheered.
I smiled. My friends were being so thoughtful.
"I painted you a picture!" Teto said. She held out a small canvas to me.
"Oh, wow! It's so pretty! I love it!" I smiled. I was in awe. It was a colorful picture of the six of us as hamsters, having a tea party in a dollhouse room.
The hamster version of me had blue fur and a monocle! The hamster version of Teto was small and round in size, and had very swirly magenta fur. Momo as a hamster was pink and wore a green ribbon. Uta's hamster had purple fur and wore a black beret. Ruko's hamster was the largest in size, was black with a blue stripe, and had multicolored eyes, blue and red, just like her. Ritsu as a hamster was sunset red and a bit small in size.
Ruko looked at the painting and was in awe of how much the hamsters in the picture really resembled us!
It really was a lovely and whimsical painting, and it was filled with Teto's personality.
Ritsu gave me a present too.
"I may not seem the type to be into this, but... I sometimes tailor-make outfits. I ended up making some vintage menswear for myself a while back that I decided just wasn't my style. But it definitely is yours, I think. So here. You can have them."
Ritsu handed me a cloth bag with clothes inside. I took them out, and instantly fell in love. They were so posh and dapper looking! There was a suit jacket and a vest, paired with long black pants.
"I think our sizes may be similar." Ritsu said. "I'm shorter than you, but our body mass might be around the same."
"Do you want to try it on?" Ruko asked.
"Hm, sure!" I said. I went to the bathroom and changed. They fit surprisingly well, though the pants were just a bit short.
"Oh, you look dashing!" Ruko said once I came out.
I smiled. I felt like a new gentleman! I was still feeling quite ill, but the kindness and presents I got from everyone cheered me up greatly.
"Thank you so much, Ritsu." I said. "And Ruko, and Momo, and Teto! Your gifts are all so thoughtful and lovely. You guys are the best."
Everyone smiled at me.
"Well, we should get going now." Teto said.
"You should rest, Taya." Momo said.
"See you later, get well." Ritsu said.
"I hope you feel better!" Ruko said.
They left the room.
"Oh, that reminds me." Uta said. "I almost forgot, I was meaning to give you something as well..."
Oh?
Uta rummaged through some grocery bags she brought back during her earlier shopping trip. Out of one, she pulled out a medium-sized blue bunny Squishmallow!
Ah! It was so cute and looked so soft! I wanted to cuddle it!
"Surprise!" Uta said. "You said you liked these, right?"
"Yes! I do!" I said. "It's so cute!"
Uta smiled at me.
"I'm sorry I couldn't find the strawberry one... I would've totally got you that one if I saw it in the store. But I promise, as soon as I see it somewhere, I'll get it for you, okay?" Uta said.
"Okay! Thanks so much!" I replied. I appreciated it.
I began talking to the bunny as I held it in my hand.
"Hello. What's your name?" I asked it.
The bunny soon began to speak to me. Ah, not literally... But I sort of began to imagine a personality for it. For them, I mean. Yeah. The bunny went by "they" and "them" pronouns. They were non-binary. Kind of like me. That was what they ended up "telling" me.
They also told me that they didn't like being blue at first, but learned to embrace it.
"Ah, sou da ne..." I answered to them, speaking a mixture of English and Japanese. "I see."
I felt like the bunny needed a name. Hmm...
Ah. Since I just said "Sou da ne," how about... Soda? It could be short for "Sou da ne." They were also a blue bunny, and there were blue soda drinks in Japan.
Uta entered my room again after a while.
"Uta, this is Soda!" I said, introducing my friend to her.
"Oh, you gave him a name." Uta said.
"Soda is agender. They go by 'they' and 'them' pronouns." I said, correcting Uta.
"Oh. Okay." Uta said. "Can I hold them for a while, then?"
"Sure." I said.
"Hehe, they are very soft." Uta said.
"When you were outside, Soda told me all these things about themself." I said. "They are an alien bunny who hatched from an Easter egg that landed from space. The night they arrived, there was a meteor shower where tons of Easter eggs containing rabbits of Soda's kind fell to Earth."
"Hm?" Uta asked me, a bit amused. "Did you make this story up yourself?"
"Yeah." I said, a bit embarrassed. I decided to continue.
"Anyway, even though Soda is quiet and timid, they are able to roar. They like to paint pictures, and they use eggs as their canvas. Soda has a habit of saying 'Ah, sou da ne,' Which is where they get their name... and their name is written in kanji like this..."
I took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote the first kanji in my last name, pronounced "Sou" (or "so,") along with a common kanji used in Japanese surnames, meaning rice paddy, and usually pronounced "ta" or "da."
Together, they spelled out 蒼田 and was pronounced Soda, like the kind you would drink.
"Um... wow. Such an imagination!" Uta looked rather impressed. "You came up with all this in five minutes? You're some type of genius, Taya..."
"Yeah, well..." I felt modest. "Actually... I'm not that creative. I'm just lonely a lot. So I began daydreaming like this a lot as a kind of hobby. But... now that I have you, and Ruko, and Ritsu, and Teto, and Momo... I no longer feel alone."
"Still, you are quite creative, I think." Uta said. "I think you'd make a great author."
"You really think?" I felt flattered. "Thank you..."
—
Later that day, I read part of the Cardcaptor Sakura manga Momo gave me before falling back asleep, cuddling my new plush Uta got me. I drifted off to some of the quieter, calmer tracks from Ruko's CD. I had a dream about being a hamster, and hanging out with my friends, who had also turned into hamsters... just like in Teto's painting... And the clothes Ritsu made were surprisingly so comfortable to sleep in. Not that it was appropriate attire for bed... Though I did tend to sleep in a suit and tie anyway, usually.
I was all wrapped up in the kindness of my friends.
Eventually, I got another visitor. A pair of visitors, actually. Lapis and Merli had come by to visit.
By this point, I had awaken. I was planning on going back to sleep when I heard their voices.
"Oh, Taya is asleep right now." I heard Uta say.
"Oh. We heard he was sick. We wanted to check on him." I heard Lapis say.
"Oh, um... I'm awake now!" I called from the room.
"Ah, it seems he's awake." Uta said.
Lapis and Merli came in my room.
"Are you okay? Sorry Qing did this to you." Lapis said. "If she doesn't end up reforming, we will ban her from performing in our next group production."
"Thank you." I said. Uta mouthed the words "thank you" as well and looked extremely relieved.
"Qingxian was so horrible to do that. I am deeply sorry as well." Merli said. "As part of the college student council I will perhaps look for a way to ban her from our club, even."
"Oh, um..." I said.
"Don't be so hesitant now, Taya." Uta said. "She ruined your life. Don't you want her out of your life?"
"...Yeah." I said.
Lapis and Merli wished me well and went back on their way.
Several minutes later, I was visited by Kaito and Haku from my fifth period class.
"Get well soon, Taya." Haku said. She looked gloomy out of pity.
"Aw, I think you should smile." I said.
"But you're sick... and you must feel bad." Haku said.
"But smiling is the best medicine." I said. "Don't worry, I won't mind."
Haku gave a bright smile. Ah, there it was! Now things felt bright in here. Kaito smiled as well and pat Haku on the back.
In the midst of it all, there was another knock on the door. It was Zatsune. What? Even Zatsune was concerned enough to give me a visit?
"Hey, Taya." She said. "I heard you weren't feeling well. Like, at all. Is there any way I can help?"
"You guys showing so much concern and being here for me is honestly enough." I said. "Thank you so much. It means a lot."
Zatsune looked a bit touched, and then she smiled. It warmed my heart to see. Even the edge lord was becoming tender and sweet.
—
After everyone left, I tried going back to sleep. But there was another knock at the door. Gee, I'm sure popular today...
Uta opened it. But... oh no...
It was Qingxian.
Uta was about to slam the door shut, but Qingxian started pleading. I was wide awake now, and hearing all this from my bedroom.
"Please let me be there for Taya this time." She said.
"No. You were never there for him." Uta said. "Not when it mattered most, and you definitely aren't going to now. Bye."
"Uta..." Qingxian suddenly spoke in a tone that sounded legitimately apologetic. I guess Uta picked up on it too, because she began to soften up, just a little bit.
"Uta, I... can I just talk to you though?" Qingxian pleaded. "I feel... I... I regret what I did and said. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I put Taya through."
"...I don't think I can forgive you yet." Uta responded. "But. I will listen to what you have to say."
"Thank you." Qingxian said. "That means a lot. So... I was thinking of how I could make it up to you and Taya."
"Well, you see, you could start by understanding this." Uta said. "Taya wasn't... exactly even doing these favors because he can. Or because he truly wanted to, even. He'd been doing them because he was feeling obligated to."
"But... I don't understand." Qing said. "He could've just said no to me..."
"You don't understand Taya very well then." Uta continued. "He feels he has to say yes to every favor, because he's always felt like such a burden in life. Qingxian, Taya wanted to be your friend. He was so afraid that by saying no, you wouldn't like him anymore."
I was now peeking out of my room. I know it isn't good to eavesdrop, but...
I saw Qingxian's face. A look of remorse... tears in her eyes.
"Taya is hurt inside." Uta continued. "You took advantage of his pain by using it to your advantage. That's what I need you to know."
I saw tears begin to roll down Qing's face right then.
"I... never realized that." She cried. "I just... I just thought Taya LIKED helping me... I... To tell the truth, I wanted to be his friend too. His kindness inspires me so much, but... I guess people like him and people like me are incompatible after all."
"Well, Qingxian." Uta said. "You can always turn over a new leaf. And by apologizing, I think you might've taken the first step."
"Uta..." Qingxian said. "I'll pay Taya's medical bills. They were a lot, weren't they? It's okay. I know I'm responsible."
"Oh." Uta said. "Well Taya's parents have already got some covered, so you don't have to pay full."
"I'll pay as much as I possibly can." Qingxian said. "And to tell the truth, I hang around with awful people... My friends are all bad influences. While I was shopping with them, they told me to give Taya attitude if he didn't finish mowing my lawn by the time I got back. I've wanted to cut ties with them for a long time, but... I guess I just couldn't say no! Ironic, right? Considering that I literally put Taya in the exact same situation..."
"You should work on becoming a better person." Uta said. "I'll support you."
"Thank you." Qingxian said. "I'll work on earning my trust and apologizing and redeeming myself to everyone I've hurt."
"That's good." Uta said. "I think Taya will be glad to hear that when he wakes up."
They still thought I was asleep. I decided it was a good time to come out and tell them I heard everything...
"Um... hello." I walked in.
"Oh. You were awake?" Uta asked me.
"Yeah." I said. "I heard everything."
I began to look at Qing.
"Qingxian?" I spoke.
"Yes?" She responded.
"I will give you a chance." I said. "As long as you are truly sorry, begin to rely on yourself more, and never again take advantage of others."
"I promise." Qingxian said.
—
It was now nighttime. Qing wanted Momo, Teto, Ritsu, and Ruko to be called to the room so that she could formally apologize to all of us.
Qing was especially nervous about Ritsu.
"I didn't mean to call him a barbarian..." She said. "Especially now that I realized that the real one all along was myself. I'm worried he will always hate me."
I wanted to tell Qingxian that Ritsu would be understanding. But I honestly didn't know. Were Uta and I perhaps being too lenient with Qing? Would none of our other friends give her a chance?
Before I knew it, I was becoming nervous about the outcome as well.
—
"So, why did you call us all here?" Teto asked.
"You'll see. Just don't be shocked." Uta said.
Qing walked through the door and I could sense the tension in everyone's faces. Uta had to speak up.
"It's okay everyone. She's here to apologize."
"Indeed." Qingxian said. "I am immensely sorry for all the hurt I have caused everyone. I will be paying Taya's medical bills to apologize. I will also be cutting ties with my mean, awful friends and working on earning back trust. I understand if you may not trust me right away. But I just want you to know, I am so sorry."
There was a bit of silence. Finally of all people, Ruko was the one to speak up negatively.
"I don't know, Qingxian." She asserted. "What you did to Taya was pretty awful. I'm not exactly sure if you mean all that, or if people like you can change that easily."
We were then all hit with another unexpected surprise. Ritsu spoke up. To defend Qingxian.
"Ruko, I believe Qingxian is being sincere." He said. "I believe people really can change." He said.
"Ritsu? Are you really serious?" Ruko answered back. "I appreciate your idealistic view, but that's naive. People aren't like that in real life. Horrible people never change."
Qingxian's face fell the moment she heard the word "horrible" come out of Ruko's mouth. There was conflict in the room... Oh no.
"Ruko..." Ritsu started saying again. "You might not think so, but I know so. I know for a fact that people can change. I know what it's like."
"Give me an example then." Ruko said. "Come on. Tell me."
Ruko and Ritsu were two friends who got along so well. Now they were having a disagreement. It was hard to watch and listen to.
"Ruko..." Ritsu suddenly became a bit quiet. "I have a confession to make."
Ritsu's face was serious, but his usually stoic demeanor was cracking. He wa trembling a bit. Ruko must've noticed this, because she softened up a bit and let him speak.
"Yes?" She answered.
"I was... once like Qingxian, a long time ago." Ritsu confessed. "I... used to bully people. I used to be awful. You can decide for yourself how different you think I am now, but... I... I know I've changed since then. So I know firsthand that people can change, and I know Qingxian can too."
There was silence in the room. Ruko simply stood there. It was a lot to take in. I'm guessing it was the same for Ruko.
This must have made Ritsu think the worst.
"Ritsu, I-" Ruko started saying, after the silence was drawn out.
Ritsu interrupted, a bit on edge.
"Well, um, I've always kept my past a secret from you because I feel so awful about my past actions..." He continued nervously. "I just... feel like you should know now though."
I saw the first signs of Ritsu beginning to choke up.
"...I'm sorry if you hate me now..." He muttered softly.
Tears began to pool in Ritsu's sharp green eyes.
Ruko seemed to instinctively know when Ritsu was about to cry. She went towards him and gave him a tender hug.
"Ritsu... I could never hate you." She spoke consolingly. "Why did you keep such a secret from me? I'll always be here for you. You know you can tell me anything. I'll never hate you for it."
Ritsu could no longer fight the urge to cry. Tears began to stream down his face.
"Because... you're... such a nice person, Ruko..." He sobbed. "You're always standing up for others and lifting spirits up and... all I ever did before I reformed myself was push people down. I'm such a horrible... person... why would you ever want someone like me as a friend?"
It was heart-wrenching to hear Ritsu talk about himself like that. Ruko rubbed his head a bit to calm him down.
"My view of you hasn't changed a bit." Ruko said reassuringly. "I understand that you're a different person now than who you might've been back then. I didn't know you back then, but I can tell you've changed so much. I don't detect even a trace of malice in who you are now. The fact that you feel so much remorse about your past speaks volumes about how much you want to make up for your actions. I say you've already made up for your past. You're a wonderful friend, okay?"
Ritsu nodded tearfully.
"I'll always be here for you, Ritsu." Ruko said. "Now calm down..."
"Okay." Ritsu wiped the tears from his face and began taking deep breaths.
"Ritsu..." Qing says. "Give me a hug too. I'm sorry I called you a barbarian that time."
"I'm sorry I cursed at you, Qing." Ritsu said.
"Nah, I definitely deserved it." Qingxian said.
The two of them hugged it out.
I started clapping. I thought what had just happened was a pretty beautiful scene. Everyone else started clapping as well. Ruko and Ritsu began to blush a little, and then bowed. Qingxian smiled a bit.
Qing then gave Ruko a tearful smile.
"I understand if you don't want to forgive me, Ruko." She said. "But I just want you to know, the bond between you and Ritsu inspires me so much. You're always giving to each other. I will strive to be someone like that as well."
"Qing, it's okay now." Ruko said. "I do admit I was hesitant at first, but... I think Ritsu showed me that people can change. So I finally think I can forgive you. Just please, stick to your promise, deal?"
"It's a deal." Qing says.
Ruko held out her fist. She and Qing did a fist-bump.
—
For the next few days, I continued to recover a bit each day. The medicines were definitely helping, and my ability to sing was slowly coming back...
I was able to go back to the theatre club. People have started mentioning that Qingxian felt more open and cheerful now, as well as being "different," as in more kinder and pleasant.
I'm so happy that we could inspire change in her.
Qingxian never asked me for another favor again.
With our big performance on the horizon, I wanted to get better as quick as possible so I could be at my best for the performance...
The play, even though a bit late, was also finally given an official name.
Fantasia Story.
It was something everyone agreed on, and Uta and I somehow both had in our brainstorm lists when we wrote down possible names for the play. Once we saw we both had that name in our thoughts, we simply just had to name it that.
My life lately had been quite hectic, but many memories had been born out of it. It certainly was never dull, however, and what mattered was that I was spending them with Uta, and with my friends.
NOTE: Ritsu sure cries a lot in my fics... Ritsu, more like soft and fluffy shitzu.
Also, Fantasia Story is also the name of Nagisa's play in Clannad. Yay, Clannad references!