Warning: Mentions of suicide
Lena didn't know why she was so upset by Boone's death. She didn't know him very well. In fact, they only spoke a few times. And yet, something about it was so… awful.
Maybe the fact that just as a life was lost, another one came into the world. That life being Claire's baby, which Kate had successfully delivered.
Claire held the baby now, as Boone was lowered into the grave that Lena had helped to dig. Shannon, who had finally turned up, was devastated over the loss of her brother.
"Shannon?" Jack asked once Boone's body was secure. "Do you want to say something?"
"No." Shannon whispered. There was a long, slightly awkward silence as no one said anything. It felt wrong, that no one was speaking about him, no one remembering him.
"I didn't know Boone very well." Sayid said, breaking the silence. "And for that, I am sorry. On our sixth day here, a woman named Johanna drowned. And Boone was the first one into the water. I don't know him, but I remember his courage. And I know he will be missed."
Lena had to admit, Sayid gave a pretty good speech. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
"It was my fault."
And there stood John Locke, his skin and clothes still stained red from Boone's blood.
"We found a plane in the jungle. It was lodged in the canopy. Boone went up, and there was a radio inside, so he thought he could… but his weight must have shifted, and the plane fell."
"Where were you?" Jack growled, moving towards Locke. "Where the hell were you, you son of a bitch!" Jack ran at Locke and tackled him to the ground. Jack, who was still weak from the blood transfusion, was beating up Locke on the ground before Sawyer and Sayid managed to pull him away.
Well, when Sawyer is pulling you back from a fight, you know you need to calm down, Lena mentally commented.
"Where were you?!" Jack screamed. "You lied! You left him to die! Where were you?!"
"Jack, calm down." Lena said, holding her hands out in front of her. He was still shouting at Locke, and getting visibly paler.
"Jack!" Kate exclaimed as he collapsed to the ground, completely drained of energy.
"Someone get some god damn water!" Sawyer shouted. Charlie listened and ran off to get a water bottle. He was back in just a minute, but Jack was already recovering.
"He's lying." Jack said as he stood up.
"You're suffering from fatigue." Sayid countered.
"Locke told Boone not to tell." Jack added. "Something about a hatch. Locke is hiding something."
"Jack, listen to me." Sayid said, somehow calm. "What we need is for the only doctor on the island to get some sleep."
"I'm fine." Jack said.
"You're fine?" Lena echoed. "I'll be sure to put that on your gravestone: 'He said he was fine. He was not.'"
And there I go again with the sarcasm, Lena thought. It really was her way of coping with everything.
"Jack, they're right." Kate said. "You need rest."
…
Lena ended up taking a nap.
While she didn't give blood, she was still exhausted, and needed sleep. So she was quite annoyed when Sayid shook her awake.
"Lena." He said urgently. "Lena, wake up!"
"What's happening?" Lena said groggily as she tried to sit up. Her eyes widened Sayid's frantic expression.
"Shannon's going to try and kill Locke." He explained.
"She what?!" Lena shouted, sitting bolt upright. "Didn't you try to stop her?"
"Of course I did!" Sayid replied. "And I'll go after her now. But I figure if things get messy, you could help." Lena nodded after just a moment's hesitation. While doing that, she mentally noted that everyone came to her with problems that could possibly involve a fight. She did have a sword, but still.
From the other side of the caves, Jack and Kate's conversation became audible, but it was the last sentence that Lena noticed.
"Locke took the key." He heard Jack say. "He's going after the guns." Lena and Sayid glanced at each other for just a moment before going over to the other two.
"Jack." Sayid said, drawing both Jack and Kate's attention. "It wasn't Locke."
…
"I'm getting really worried." Lena said, biting her nails, an old habit which she swore she would stop but never did. "He's been so… distant and tired lately. And anytime I try to help him, he pushes me away."
"I'm sure everything is fine." Annie reassured her. The two friends were in Annie's apartment, and Lena was expressing her concerns.
"I just think-" Lena was cut off by her phone ringing. It was a rather cheap phone, but it was the only one she had. She picked it up, not recognizing the number.
"Is this Lena Ashford?" Asked a cool female voice.
"Yes." Lena said. "Who is this?"
"This is Cedars Sinai Hospital." The voice answered. "You were listed as an emergency contact for Joseph Hale."
"What happened?" Lena exclaimed. "Is he alright?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Ashford." The woman said. "Joseph jumped off a bridge. He killed himself."
…
Sayid took the lead as they sprinted through the jungle, thankfully finding Shannon thanks to Kate's tracking skills.
The sight that awaited them was not a good one. Shannon, holding a gun on Locke, who didn't seem concerned at all.
"Shannon, listen to me!" Sayid said.
"He did it!" Shannon shouted. "I know it!"
"You're not thinking rationally." Sayid reasoned. "You've never even fired a gun before. You don't want to do this, Shannon."
"Yes I do!" Shannon yelled. "What did you do to him, you-"
"I told you it was an accident." Locke said calmly.
"Shannon-"
Sayid tackled her to the ground just as she fired the gun. The bullet grazed Locke, but he wasn't seriously wounded. Lena could only stare at the scene before her. Who would have thought that it would come to something like this?
"I'm sorry." Sayid whispered.
"Don't." Shannon spat. "Get away." She ran off into the jungle with tears in her eyes.
"Shannon…" Sayid started to go after her, but Lena gently pulled him back as Kate took the job of following the grief-stricken girl.
"Don't." Lena said. "Just give her some space." Sayid reluctantly agreed, but he stared off to where she was, looking more conflicted than Lena had ever seen.
"You did the right thing, Sayid." She said. "Shannon would have killed him." And, deep down, Sayid probably knew that as well. But it didn't stop him from feeling guilty.
Lena, for one, knew all about guilt.