It wasn't fair.

A little over a year had passed since Corypheus was defeated, and it had been a year full of joys both small and large. There was Inquisition work and some time spent away, but mostly Cullen, Lavellan, and baby June were together.

The Inquisition had asked so much of Lavellan. She had nearly perished at the Conclave, been stuck in the future, and almost died again after her final fight with Corypheus. Lavellan deserved a long lifetime without stress. How could they have forgotten the mark? What was at first a bothersome but useful tool had turned against Lavellan. The Anchor would spontaneously burst with energy, threatening others in the vicinity and rendering Lavellan incoherent with incredible pain. Dorian and the others had devoted themselves to finding some sort of solution, but as time went by, no further answers were found, and Lavellan's condition worsened. She was confined to her room, afraid to hurt anyone around her. Inquisition duties were out of the question, and she refused to see June, and barely let Cullen visit.

Cullen was aware that the agonizing flares of the Anchor had been occurring more frequently for months, despite Lavellan's best attempts to hide it. He would lie awake when she stepped away from their bed, the green light illuminating their quarters before she escaped from sight. They did not discuss it until the attacks became too much to bear and disguise. The longer it was unspoken, the longer they could live in the illusion that everything would be fine.

Cullen held a letter in his fist, which he considered tossing into the fireplace in his office. Dorian had written, confessing that Lavellan had reached out to him privately to seek his advice on how she might end things on her own terms. A topic that she had not addressed with Cullen, likely afraid of his reaction. He had done his best to act as a beacon of hope for her, even as his nightmares returned tenfold and grief would hit him out of nowhere. He was not enough to lift her out of this. The Anchor would claim her, and Cullen was helpless.

Cullen crushed the paper into a ball and lobbed it at the fire. He would find the courage to discuss it with her. Once, he had sworn an oath to strike down any mage who had failed their Harrowing. Cullen had also sworn an oath to his wife, and he would assist her however she wished within reason, even if the thought left him rattled. He had contemplated a vial of lyrium on more than one occasion, wondering if it would give him the strength to get through this, but he could not let Lavellan down.

Cullen dragged his hand down his face. He would go check up on June in her room, now next to his space in the keep. He had moved from the bedroom that he shared with Lavellan, and the office was unsuitable for a baby. June was toddling everywhere lately, and every sharp corner or hard floor had become a new foe that Cullen watched warily as she stretched her legs with her new skill. "Da" was June's favorite word, and when it spilled from her lips, his heart never failed to flutter.

Cullen walked to June's room in a daze, the content of Dorian's letter still weighing on him. June's warm welcome soon distracted him, as she opened her arms wide to indicate she wanted to be picked up and hugged. Cullen held her close to him, June's feathery wisps of blond hair tickling his chin. Her nanny confirmed all was well, though Lavellan had not been up to seeing June that morning. She had been gloomy when Cullen had visited earlier, and he wasn't surprised to hear it.

Cullen wished he could stay with his daughter and forget the world a little longer, but it was time for his daily meeting with the only other head of the Inquisition left standing - Josephine. Cullen gave June a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye, and his chest ached when June fussed about him leaving.

Jospehine was as taut as a bowstring when Cullen arrived at the war room. He frowned deeply, certain that something was amiss. "What is it?" Cullen demanded.

Josephine laid a piece of parchment on the table. "We have been summoned by Divine Victoria and representatives from Fereldan and Orlais," she replied. "We must travel to Halamshiral and face the powers that be. There are questions about the Inquisition."

Cullen leaned over and slid the letter towards him, skimming the content. He shoved it away with contempt when he was done. "As if we have time to play politics? We defeated Corypheus, and there is still work to be done. We're just supposed to stop and answer to them?"

"I agree that it is not ideal. However, they know something is up. The Inquisitor has not been seen in public in months. Soldiers or her friends have been running Inquisition business, with no leader around. There are already questions about what purpose we serve anymore, and on top of that their hero, Lavellan, has vanished."

Cullen growled, but Josephine was right, and there was no denying it. "So you'll be departing shortly?"

"We will be," Josephine answered firmly. "The Inquisitor cannot attend. We must show them in force what the Inquisition is about. You are admired in Orlais, and you have led our forces. You must stand in Lavellan's place."

Cullen could think of few things he would rather do than stand in front of politicians and defend their actions. He curled his fist in frustration. "I'm hardly a suitable replacement figurehead."

"I'll be there, and Divine Victoria will be overseeing. You will do fine. What would Lavellan want?"

Cullen gave a small scowl, acknowledging the knife she had twisted in his gut. She was aware of what his wife would want. "So be it," he bit out.

Josephine approached him cautiously. "This isn't what we wanted or expected. I'm sorry, Cullen," she consoled him, and she was not merely speaking about the Exalted Council.

"I know," Cullen sighed. "Thank you, Josephine."

"Will June be coming with us?" she inquired.

"No," he replied sharply. "She'll have to stay here. Not dragging her to whatever sideshow awaits in Orlais."

Josephine nodded. "Understandable. Well, I'll see about the preparations. I assume you're off to inform the Inquisitor?"

"Yes." Cullen did not voice his greatest concern about the trip: that Lavellan might not be there when he came back.

Lavellan had become weak, muscles winnowing down to bone from being bedridden. Her hair had grown out wildly and was barely restrained in a knot. The Anchor was alight more times than not. However, the curtains were open and her palm was dark; Cullen had caught her in one of her good moments. While he was thankful for those brief moments of respite, it would make the farewell more difficult.

Lavellan did not acknowledge his entrance or greet him. Her gaze was fixed on the window. "You shouldn't be here," she finally said.

Cullen grunted, "You know what I think about that. Besides, I needed to talk to you."

Lavellan's attention was drawn to him. "What about? Is June well?" she asked with concern.

"Yes, she's fine, don't worry. It's about the Inquisition. There is to be a session before the Exalted Council," Cullen explained.

"And you're going," Lavellan answered for him.

He sighed. "I do not wish to. I don't want to leave you two."

"I understand." Lavellan's eyelids fluttered shut as if she was fighting off fatigue. "But we must stand for our beliefs. For the work we have been - you have been - doing."

He looked away from her, scared of how she would react. "There are claims we are leaderless, wandering without purpose and overstepping our bounds."

"So be in my stead," she replied, and when Cullen turned back to her, her expression was firm. "At the Exalted Council and after."

"You're plotting to name me as your successor," he scoffed. "I got a letter from Dorian."

Lavellan visibly winced. "I trust my dearest friend has been keeping our correspondence confidential?"

Cullen did not reply, but his face must have given it away.

"Of course not," she muttered. "Look, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be here. I do. But we both know the score."

Lavellan's eyes were pleading, the crinkles at the corners displaying the effect of the pain and exhaustion on her. She was afraid that he would be angry, but he couldn't be, not when he witnessed her suffering day in and day out as she built walls around herself. "Will you be alright until I get back?" he asked softly.

Cullen saw the relief wash over her, her forehead relaxing and her lips curling into the slightest smile for his benefit, he was sure. "I hope so," she murmured.

He nodded. No one could predict what would happen with the Anchor. To his surprise, Lavellan began to step out of bed, placing shaky feet on the floor. "What are you doing?" Cullen asked gruffly as he stepped forward to help her.

Lavellan wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burying her cheek against him. "Holding you," she whispered.

He pulled her as close as he could, hoping to convey everything he felt. He could hear her sniffling. "I don't want to leave you and June alone. I wanted us to be a family. I wanted June to have a little brother or sister to keep her company-"

"It's okay. We don't know what's going to happen. I'm so happy to have you and June. Just take care while I'm gone? See June if you're up to it?" Cullen gently interrupted her, stifling the sorrow within himself.

He kissed her with a light touch, but Lavellan dragged him lower, capturing his lips hungrily and questioning him with her tongue. As quick as it started, their embrace came to a sudden halt as she fled to her bed, her breaths heavy. "Write me?" Lavellan requested.

"I promise."

Lavellan,

It's strange to be here again at the Winter Palace. You would have liked our entrance. Just the sort of pageantry I despise, but don't fret, I'm putting forth an effort. Otherwise, Josephine may swat at me.

On a more serious note, Divine Victoria sends her best wishes, as do all of the others. To see everyone together again, but without you here, doesn't feel right at all.

Truthfully, I think defending the Inquisition will be an uphill battle. Orlais is eager to use us to their advantage, and Fereldan wishes to protect themselves. I missed most of the first day of deliberations -

Cullen pressed down his quill with enough force that the tip snapped. He tossed the ruined pen to the floor and rubbed at his face, absentmindedly attempting to wipe away his weariness. Cullen noticed his hand was trembling and glanced down to see that his handwriting was barely legible.

Cullen had intended to share the outcome of the Exalted Council with the Inquisitor as was his duty, whatever happened. However, the first day had not gone as expected. The discovery of a dead Qunari had interrupted the proceedings as Cullen had stood before the Council, his voice booming as he argued against the ridiculous claims of the politicians and defended the absence of the Inquisitor.

A Qunari soldier's corpse of unknown origin was a bad omen. With the Inquisitor absent, Cullen had been nominated by the rest of the Inner Circle to act as lead investigator. He tried to subtly track blood trails across Halamshiral as he was harassed by curious and very forward denizens.

The blood had led to a bloody Eluvian, and with further prodding from the others, he reluctantly agreed to enter it. Lavellan's companions were familiar with fighting in a four-person formation, so he chose a few to accompany him, those whom he could trust the most: Cassandra, Varric, and Dorian. He was glad to have Dorian at his side when they emerged in the Crossroads, the mystical dimension connecting Eluvians; he had only heard stories about it before. A sweat broke out on Cullen's brow as memories of Kinloch Hold threatened to replay in his mind, a sense of déjà vu about being trapped by magic. Dorian, familiar with the Crossroads, guided them to the mirror they were looking for.

They were transported to elven ruins, which were full of Qunari enemy combatants. More interestingly, the group found references to the elven god Fen'Harel , and messages that claimed an agent of his was trying to disrupt the Qunari's plans.

Cullen ran back to inform Josephine and Divine Victoria, and then he and the others promptly returned through the mirror. This time they came out in the Deep Roads, where they found out that Viddasala, a powerful Ben-Hassarath leader, was in charge of the ploy the Qunari had named "Dragon's Breath." They had to fight off more Qunari before escaping the cavern. Cullen found himself exhausted by it all, and the day was not done yet. He yearned for the stamina of his youth.

By the time they had reappeared at the Winter Palace, more mystery was afoot. There was a scuffle between an Inquisition soldier and an elven servant, and Cullen had the elf sent away by guards. The soldier passed him a note about Viddasala and another blasted mirror.

It led to a place called the Shattered Library, a horrific, otherworldly library haunted by ghost-like demons. Once again, they were too late to catch Viddasala, who had escaped to the Darvaarad, a Qunari fortress.

Night had now fallen, and Cullen was in his guest room at the palace. He did not have long before Josephine and Leliana would summon him to discuss the latest developments. Cullen held the letter he was writing to Lavellan over a candle's flame, letting it burn his writing before blowing it out. His letter would have either been full of placating lies or it would have been a shock to her that would cause worry, and he wanted neither. How he wanted to talk to her though, share his burdens and hear her advice, and listen as she soothed his fears, but Cullen was alone.

The events of the day washed over him, and without the adrenaline pumping through his veins and the urge to solve the confusion over the dead Qunari, it hit Cullen that they were in grave danger. Not just the danger he perceived from the Eluvians and the demons, his past trauma reigniting panic and anxiety. There was a serious threat out there that he had not grasped yet, and he had laid his life on the line. Cullen thought of June growing up without her parents.

There was no time to despair, and he hurried to meet Josephine and Divine Victoria. They did not have better news. In fact, the Inquisition had found barrels of the explosive gatlock across the Winter Palace… planted from someone within the Inquisition itself. Someone was threatening Halamshiral and seeking to take down the Inquisition from the inside.

"Cullen," Divine Victoria addressed him. "This plot must be stopped. Josephine and I will handle the Council, but…"

"I will go find Viddasala," he replied, his mind set.

"Cassandra could lead-" Josephine offered, but Cullen shook his head. Lavellan had entrusted him with the Inquisition. He would follow it through.

And that's how he found himself at the Darvaarad in the dead of the night, cutting through Qunari as he raced through a gatlock factory. At the end was a literal dragon to be defeated. "Dragon's Breath" sought to topple Thedas, allowing the Qunari to rule over Orlais and Fereldan. If the plan were to proceed, the effects would be catastrophic. But once again, Viddasala slipped through his fingers, and the chase through the Eluvians was back on.

Night turned to day. Cullen was worn to the bone, his armor splattered with blood fresh and dry, and a layer of sweat and grime covered his skin. Cassandra passed him a stamina draught as she eyed him with concern, but she appeared as frayed as he felt. He uncorked the glass bottle with his teeth and drank it all in one go.

The sun beamed down from a blue sky, with grass-covered elven ruins around them. It was a more welcoming setting than some of the others they had skipped through, but Cullen wasn't fooled by their pastoral surroundings. They were close. Close enough that Viddasala set a saarebas, Saarath, on them.

Cassandra and Cullen were experienced in fighting mages, but it was an uphill battle. Dorian and Varric attacked from afar. It was taking too long as they were absolutely drained. They could not let the Qunari's plan come to fruition, and Cullen fought with more determination, throwing himself recklessly forward as Saarath launched lightning. Cassandra shoved Cullen away.

"Go after Viddasala!" Cassandra yelled in the heat of the battle, clenching her teeth.

"And leave you here with this?" Cullen snarled as his blade clashed against the Qunari's arm, slashing him but not slowing down his spells.

"We got this, Curly!" Varric called.

Cullen looked to Cassandra for confirmation, and she wore a grave expression that indicated he should leave them immediately, lest she attack him next.

He hurried through the mirror by himself, following in the footsteps of Viddasala. Cullen stepped out, and he was surrounded by stone gray statues of Qunari. He drew his sword out of instinct, but there was no movement. Slowly, he made his way forward, observing them out of the corner of his eye, but there was no change. These were not ancient relics; this was the work of magic Cullen had never seen before.

An Eluvian stood in the distance, and in front of it were Viddasala and another shorter figure, both speaking in Qunlat. As Cullen approached, he recognized the other person as Solas. Solas was asking her to stop and leave, and he turned his back on her. Before Cullen could react, Viddasala lifted her spear to throw it. Cullen need not have worried, as Solas's eyes flashed an otherworldly blue and Viddasala was transformed into stone, her spear permanently affixed to her hand.

Cullen's blood chilled at the realization that Solas was behind the stone army of Qunari . He kept his sword steady in front of him, attempting to keep the fear at bay. The found messages, the reports on the future, Lavellan's feverish ramblings… the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place.

"Commander," Solas greeted him as if he were bored. He appeared the same as Cullen had seen him last, but instead of tattered robes, Solas was dressed in fine armor and fur.

"Solas," Cullen returned quietly. "You're Fen'Harel?"

Solas arched a brow. "I suppose you have some iota of deduction skills after all."

There were thousands of questions Cullen wished to ask, and as he stared at Viddasala and pondered why Solas had reappeared now, he wondered aloud, "You stopped the Qunari?"

Solas glanced at the statues of his own making. "Yes. They would have brought suffering to this world." As he faced Cullen again, "None of you will be here for long, but I would rather not see you all perish or be held prisoner under the Qunari."

Cullen tried to understand Solas's vague comments. "What do you mean?"

"It's a conversation I would have with someone else," Solas sighed. "I desired to avoid deceit, although it proved to be a necessary evil."

Solas moved toward the mirror in front of him. "Stop!" Cullen shouted.

"I must take my leave now. I understand Taissa's condition has worsened. I would like to see her," Solas turned his back and stepped towards the Eluvian.

"Solas!" Cullen yelled, desperation roughening his voice. He had to stop Solas before he did anything to hurt his wife, but he was powerless.

Solas slowed but did not turn back. "Fear not. She should have some peace before."

Solas disappeared into the mirror. Cullen leapt forward to follow, but Cassandra was calling his name. The others ran in his direction, and Cassandra tugged at his arm. "What has happened?" she gasped.

"I don't know," Cullen confessed. "But I'm going after Solas."

"You can't!" Cassandra gestured at the stone figures around them. "If this is what he is capable of, we are outmatched. We must return to Halamshiral at once, inform Divine Victoria, and speak to the Exalted Council."

Cullen erupted, "He's going to Skyhold!"

Cassandra held him by his shoulders, forcing him to fix his gaze on her. "We will write to Skyhold, and we will return there as soon as possible. It's a fool's errand to go after him yourself."

"So you would have me stand by as he goes off and does Maker knows what?" he replied, defeated.

Cassandra sighed, "I have to believe Solas does not have completely ill intentions when it comes to the Inquisitor."

Cullen scowled, but there was truth in what Cassandra had said. Solas implied he would do Lavellan no harm, and Cullen was aware that the two had been close. So close that before the events of Redcliffe, Cullen had thought they may have been involved romantically, but things had changed when Lavellan re-emerged a year older. Still, every bone in Cullen's body screamed that he should go through the Eluvian in front of him, damn the consequences.

Dorian had stepped to Cullen's side and gave Cullen a weak smile. "Cassandra's right. Plus, Lavellan would murder me with some marvelously impressive swordsmanship if I let you do something stupid and get your handsome self killed."

Cullen allowed them to lead him back to the Winter Palace, dread heavy in his gut.

Cullen hurried to his guest room upon their return to the Winter Palace, where he frantically scribed a missive, and then ran to the closest scout to have it sent to Skyhold. Cassandra then pulled him into a meeting with Divine Victoria behind closed doors, where the three of them begrudgingly decided there was only one path they could take.

And so Cullen stood before the Exalted Council and told them the Inquisition would disband itself. It had served its purpose. The representatives looked at him with disbelief at the sudden change of heart, but their relief was obvious.

His duty fulfilled, Cullen was eager to begin the journey home. All of the others had arrived at the Winter Palace by themselves, except for Cullen and Josephine, so he was surprised and touched when everyone announced that they would be coming back to Skyhold before they went their separate ways.

Cullen worried through the day and night, barely sleeping when they took a break from the road. He contemplated taking his horse and departing while the others rested so no further time would be lost, but Cassandra woke, and Cullen could see her watching him like a hawk from where she laid on her bedroll.

A letter arrived in the morning that put him more at ease.

Commander -

I cannot say if Solas has appeared here, as none have claimed to have seen him.

However, there has been a change in the Inquisitor's condition. Can show you when you get here (she's alive, don't have a heart attack).

June's well.

Harding

Cullen was confused, as he had been certain Solas would have gone straight to Lavellan after their conversation. He also wondered about Lavellan; it seemed no worse could happen to her, so he prayed that it was good news, however unlikely it seemed.

Cullen could not be halted on his mission to Lavellan's quarters. Scout Harding, healers, and others tried to grab his attention, but they would all have to wait until he saw her. He swiftly opened the door to her room. Nothing looked different as Cullen approached, until he was near her bedside. The constant pulsing green light of the Anchor was missing. Cullen gaped, his brain slowly comprehending that it was because her entire arm was missing. Bandages were tightly wound at Lavellan's shoulder, with crimson blooming across them at the place her upper arm had formerly occupied. How many times would he have to stand over her as she lay broken in her bed?

"Cullen?" Lavellan greeted him drowsily, opening her eyes and trying to push up on one arm into a sitting position. Cullen went to grab her by the waist to assist, but she shooed him away and did it herself, although it took a few seconds. "You can quit staring at me in horror."

Cullen sheepishly shut his mouth. "Your arm…"

"Got rid of that blasted Anchor." Lavellan glanced down at thin air where the mark might have once rested. "I'm free," she laughed.

Only she could be so carefree about losing a limb, but it had been a death sentence. One that she had miraculously escaped. Cullen could hardly believe it. "How?"

Lavellan blinked and drew a deep breath, exhaling it steadily. "Solas."

"I ran into him- " he rushed to explain.

"I know. I know everything," she interrupted. "I knew part of it for some time. He came through the Eluvian here, snuck up to my room. We talked, and he took the mark away and left. I'm thankful to him for that. But I had not predicted what his ultimate goal was. Solas would burn down our world to bring back that of his past."

"We'll find him again, and we'll stop him for once and for all," Cullen reassured himself and her.

"We'll find him and convince him this isn't the way. There is good in him. I tried to guide him away from his plans; with more opportunity, perhaps we can, and without further bloodshed."

There wasn't a chance to discuss it more in that moment, as the door burst open behind them, and in filed all of Lavellan's friends, including Dorian holding June. Cullen's heart nearly burst at the wide grin on his wife's face. Her eyes were still swollen from her near-sleepless nights, and her skin hung from her bones, but she looked happier than she had been in months.

"Come say hi!" Lavellan called to their daughter. Dorian hesitated, eying Lavellan's injury, but he placed June in her lap. Lavellan hugged June to her body with her arm and pressed numerous kisses to her milky caramel skin. "I've missed you so much, my darling."

"What about us? Have you missed us at all?" Dorian jokingly whined.

"You come here too, Uncle Dorian." Dorian bent down and embraced Lavellan, and the others gathered around her bed.

"I hope you're alright," Dorian said as he gestured at her missing arm.

"I will be," she responded. "Is someone going to tell me what I missed?"

Sera snorted. "You want to hear all about how your Cully-wully got on playing Quizzy?"

Lavellan beamed at Cullen. "I definitely do."

He grimaced, not wanting her smile to fade but acknowledging that she needed the facts. "About the Inquisition-"

"Seems you'll need to go house hunting," Dorian chimed in.

"Oh, really?" Lavellan replied.

So the group filled Lavellan in on the events of the Exalted Council and its outcome. June grew restless, and they all took turns entertaining her. Lavellan asked questions throughout and nodded from time to time, but she did not appear devastated.

"We'll all be splitting up, and we won't have nearly the same resources, but I'm confident we can continue our mission at its core because we always have each other, no matter how far apart we are. The stakes are high, but they have been before, and we will persevere if we remain focused, even if we must do it from the shadows," Lavellan spoke off the cuff, and Cullen had to smile at her impromptu motivational address. It had been a while since he had last heard her lead like that. It was as if a spark from within her had been relit and the tinder was catching flame.

Lavellan reached for Cullen's hand. He was exhausted, as if he had lived a whole year in just the last few days. He would rest easier that night, and hopefully at Lavellan's side in the bed they used to share. There was a new threat looming over their little family, but he would fight to keep them and Thedas safe at any cost. They might need to trade in their fortress for a rural farmhouse, and his love might not be able to fight like she was able to before, but the tide had turned since Lavellan's precipitous decline. There was hope.