A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and positive feedback! I'm glad people are still enjoying this story.
Isabella: I absolutely live for your reviews and feedback! I'm just sad that I can't directly respond to you. Megan isn't based on Owen's sister but I did realise the matching names may form some confusion. Megan was just a random name that came to my mind when it came to giving her a name haha. Painting everyone in shades of grey - this was exactly my intention and I'm glad this has come across well. No one is meant to be either truly god or truly evil in this story, we all make mistakes and we all are swayed between the heart and mind. Mark will be mentioned again soon! I agree with what you've said about Meredith's feelings... but all shall be revealed, with more coming to light in this chapter in particular! In all honesty, when I first started writing this, Addison wasn't even involved it all just came together and the storyline has changed multiple times whilst I've been writing. Stay safe as well xo
I won't say anymore beyond what I've already said as I do want to keep an essence of mystery about this story, it's interesting to see everyone's reactions and thoughts. They influence the way the story is written more than people may think!
Derek had insisted on taking her all the way home rather than just giving her a ride to the ferry, wanting to make sure she got home safe. She didn't find herself protesting, really. She was tired after sleeping on the ground all night and wanted a proper rest before work the next day.
As soon as she got in the house she made sure to put her phone on charge and considered changing out of the clothes borrowed from Derek, but decided to keep them on for a while longer instead. Her plan was to relax, and study. If you could do both things at once. Which was unlikely, but she could at least study whilst comfortable, and she was very comfortable in his sweatpants. They were comfortable sweatpants.
She grabbed the books she needed from her room, taking them down to the living room and getting herself set up, making sure she had various snacks and drinks at the ready as she put on some of her mother's old surgery tapes. Before she sat down, she noticed a pile of mail on the side table by the front door and went to investigate, seeing they were all for her.
One particular envelope caught her eye, an overseas letter from… England? Her breath caught slightly as realisation washed over her. She completely forgot about studying and picked it up, hesitant to open it at first but once she'd started she couldn't get it open quick enough. Her eyes scanned over the words, feeling them well slightly with tears of joy. They'd accepted her. They wanted her to do her pediatric neurosurgery fellowship in Yorkshire. It was almost unbelievable and, she realised, exactly what she needed to do.
She held the paper tight in her hands. She never thought they'd actually consider her. She approached the door of his office cautiously, running through what she'd say to him. How was she going to tell him? His door was open and she stepped inside. He was working on some paperwork at his desk and she stood in the doorway, just watching him. Eventually, he noticed her presence and looked up with a raised eyebrow.
"Dr Grey?" He set his pen down on the desk in front of him, "What is it? Aren't you supposed to be studying?"
She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, locking it so that they weren't interrupted. She held up the paper as she spoke, even though he wouldn't be able to see it from where he sat, "I have a fellowship offer."
"Oh?" He sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest as he studied her excitement, "Where from?"
"Well, I'd forgotten I'd even applied, I didn't think for a moment they would even consider me and then this letter came and I, yeah…" she trailed off with a grin on her face.
"Meredith, slow down what is it?" He chuckled softly as he watched her.
She moved closer to the desk, placing the piece of paper in front of him as she spoke, "Paediatric neurosurgery fellowship, Yorkshire, in England."
"Meredith, this is…" he murmured, picking up the piece of paper and reading it over. As he did, she sat in the chair opposite him, fidgeting with her fingers.
"This is amazing," he looked up at her, and he looked genuinely happy for her, but there was something unsaid there, and it was apparent in his tone of voice, "I'm proud of you."
"Yeah?" She asked, grinning back at him, "I'd leave a week after the board exams, I'd need to find somewhere to live and iron out all the technicalities of actually moving there."
"Wait, moving there?" He asked, furrowing his brow now in confusion.
"Well, yeah, at least for 12 months, for the fellowship… and then I don't know," she shrugged.
"What about your other options? Boston children's? Seattle Children's?" He asked her, and she suddenly felt like she had to defend herself to him the more he sounded, well, disappointed with her, "Are you sure you want to move to another country like that?"
"Derek, what are you…" she was confused now, over confused. Why was he acting like this? He was supposed to be happy for her, wasn't he?
"I just think that you should think this through, that's all," he said before putting the letter down and focusing back on the paperwork on his desk.
"You're supposed to be happy for me," she was angry now. She stood up and grabbed the letter off his desk before heading to the door, "This is my future, Derek. My career. You're supposed to want what's best for me."
He looked up at her, and his face softened slightly before he seemed to turn cold with her, "I think you should go back to studying, Dr Grey."
As his head lowered, tears began to sting her eyes and she opened the door, practically slamming it behind her as she walked away. What the hell was his problem?
"Where did you disappear the other night?" Addison asked her as Meredith chose to sit down on the table with her in the cafeteria.
"No matter. Why are you still here, Addison?" Meredith asked, still holding the paper in her hands.
"I want to make this right, Meredith," Addison said in a softer voice, a hint of remorse on her expression as Meredith studied her.
"Why? You have a life back in California, you have a fiancé," Meredith scrunched her face in slight confusion.
"I know I shouldn't have left things the way that I did, and I should have come back sooner or never even left at all," Addison said, trailing off as her pager started to beep and she quickly checked it, "I have to take this. Can I come and see you tonight and we can talk, please?"
"Yeah, okay," Meredith said with a soft sigh, "Come over after work."
"Thank you," Addison said with a smile, reaching for Meredith's hand and giving it a squeeze, noticing the piece of paper in the blonde's possession, "What's that?"
"We'll talk about it tonight," Meredith said, pulling her hands back, "You need to go."
"Okay, I'll see you tonight," Addison said with a nod before standing up and heading out the cafeteria.
Meredith stood from the table, stuffing the letter into her pocket just as her own pager went off with a 911 in the pit. Just the distraction she needed right now.
Later that evening, she sat in the middle of her bed with her legs crossed, textbooks open around her as she made notes, trying to focus on the work and not Derek's behaviour at her news. She still couldn't wrap her head around why he couldn't just be happy for her. She should've been out celebrating, but instead she was in a rotten mood after his reaction and he hadn't even confirmed he was still coming over that night as they had previously arranged.
She pulled herself off the bed with a heavy sigh, pulling her hair up into a loose bun on top of her head as she headed down to the kitchen. Just as she walked into the kitchen, she heard a knock at the front door. Pulling the sleeves of her jumper down over her hands, she went to go and answer it.
Addison stood at the front door, a warm smile on her face as Meredith opened the door for her and stepped aside to let her in. She quickly closed the door behind her, trying not to make it obvious she'd completely forgot Addison was coming over.
"Upstairs, my room. Cristina isn't home yet but she might be soon," Meredith said in a quiet voice, unsure as to why she had even agreed to letting Addison come over. Wasn't she supposed to be moving on from her?
"Okay," Addison said with a nod, following Meredith up the stairs to her room, looking around the room as Meredith sat back on the bed surrounded by her books.
"Your room hasn't changed at all," Addison commented as she sat in the armchair by the window, not too far from the bed.
"No need to change it," Meredith said with a shrug, closing up the books around her and setting them on a pile on the bed side table, "What did you want to talk about, Addison? I thought you'd be on your way back to California again by now."
"I couldn't leave when there was still a chance of us, Meredith," Addison said, her eyes soft as she watched Meredith move the books.
"And what, pray tell, makes you think there's still a chance for us?" Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow at Addison, "I'm pretty sure I made it clear two nights ago when I told you to leave."
"You mean right after you kissed me, and you had told me you still loved me? I know you, Meredith, and you keep forgetting that," Addison said, her voice lowering slightly as she moved from the armchair, sitting on the bed facing Meredith.
"It's been three years, Addison. You don't know me. Things have changed, I've changed," Meredith said, keeping a cautious gaze on Addison, "Just because I love you doesn't mean I love you enough to risk getting hurt again."
"I don't want to hurt you again," Addison said, almost offended by the insinuation from Meredith.
"Really? So, you haven't heard about me from Derek this whole time? You didn't decide just to drop back in my life the day before he served Megan with divorce papers, to mess with my head?" Meredith challenged, climbing off the bed to get more distance from Addison now.
"That's not, I mean… I didn't want to mess with your head, that wasn't my intention, I just, I knew that this would be my last chance and I couldn't pass it up, I had to come and see you before… I know I've done this all wrong, Meredith, but I never meant to hurt you," Addison said, her tone pleading with Meredith now.
"What? You figured because Derek and Megan were getting a divorce I'd jump straight into a relationship with him? Because you know that I'd be faithful to him if I committed to him?" Meredith continued to question, feeling her anger rising now, "For god's sake Addison, you're engaged and yet you've come running to me just as I try to be happy again?! How would I even begin to trust you?"
"What, and you trust Derek, the man cheating on his wife?" Addison almost spat out, Meredith's anger rubbing off on her.
"You know that isn't the whole story," Meredith said through gritted teeth, "and I never actually said I'd be with him. We had great sex, that was it. He wanted to divorce Megan anyway," she knew she was lying through her teeth at this point, but she didn't have to justify her decisions or feelings to anyone, especially not Addison.
"Meredith, could you please, for a moment, consider we might actually be happy together?" Addison asked, her voice softer now as she climbed off the bed, approaching Meredith.
"I did consider it, three years ago, and then you left me," Meredith said, her arms crossed over her chest, "I've made my decision anyway, and no one will get me to change my mind. You're not part of my life anymore."
Meredith was suddenly cut off by a loud knocking on her front door and she frowned a little before leaving Addison in her room to go and answer it. She could see a male standing on her porch, but it definitely wasn't anyone she recognised. She opened the door, wide enough to speak to him but not enough to let him in.
"Can I help you?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. He looked back at her with a slight frown, his brown hair dancing in the wind that had picked up outside.
"Is Addison here? I was told she was here, I spoke to Derek who said she was in Seattle and then-"
"Who are you?" Meredith cut him off, even more confused now.
"You must be Meredith, my name is Ryan. I'm Addison's fiancé," he said, holding his hand out for her to shake. She cautiously shook his hand, still wary of the stranger standing on her porch.
"Addison's inside, why don't you come in," Meredith said, retrieving her hand and standing to one side to let him in.
As she led him into the living room, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, sending a quick message to Derek. Why is Addison's fiancé in my house? What did you do?
"I'll be right back," Meredith said, heading back out of the room, "Feel free to sit, or whatever."
She went back up the stairs to her room, her phone still in her hand as she waited for Derek's reply. As she entered the room, she realised Addison had found the letter that Meredith had been meaning to talk to her about.
"Meredith, what is this?" Addison said in a quiet voice, almost as though she was angry with her.
"You've got bigger problems than me moving to England, Addison," Meredith said, feeling slightly nervous at Addison's reaction and how that could change when she found out who was downstairs.
"Bigger problems? Like what? You're moving to England, Meredith! You can't just run away from everything and start a new life!" Addison said, her voice raising now in volume.
"Really? You're going to judge me for wanting to start over when that's exactly what you did three years ago?" Meredith bit back.
"Meredith please don't go, stay here with me, let us try again," Addison's voice went quieter now.
"There's someone in the living room for you, Addison. Maybe go and deal with that first," Meredith said before turning around and heading back down the stairs, realising her phone was ringing in her hand, Derek's face on the screen. As much as she didn't want to speak to him, she knew she had to right now.
"Meredith, what's going on?"
"Addison's fiancé is at my house. He said your name. Did you send him here? Why would you send him here?" She said into the phone as she went into the kitchen, vaguely hearing Addison's descent on the stairs.
"I didn't send him to your house, why would I do that? He called asking if I'd seen her, I said she was at the hospital that's all," Derek explained calmly.
"Addison came over and he has just turned up and now they're arguing in my living room," she said, a hint of annoyance in her tone as she relayed the situation to him.
"I'm on my way," he said before disconnecting the call, not giving her a chance to protest.
She groaned softly as she put the phone back in her pocket and ran her hand over her face. This just wasn't what she needed right now. She just wanted to study, that's all she wanted to do.