A/N:

Step One: Politics
Step Two: Gossip
Step Three: Furries

Warnings: references to canon deaths and violence, very mild gore

There is a solid wall of rain.

Okay, so not like. Solid.

But it's very sudden.

"It's a technique," Sakura tells them, eyeing Kakashi's confusion with bemusement.

"It's a wall," Kakashi says, looking at how, since there's a very slight slope leading down and away from them, the ground is literally dry past the wall of rain. Not the kind of bone dry of Wind, or summer in Earth country, but still significant. The rain reaches this line and does not encroach further.

"It's a sensor technique," Sakura stresses. She looks like she's about to laugh. "A really impressive one, too."

"All of the rain is infused with minute amounts of Pein's chakra," Jiraiya says. He's… wistful. "Any living thing the rain touches, he'll know."

"Which is why we're going to make ourselves known and wait," Sakura asserts. She glances at Jiraiya, "You or me?"

"He'll know my chakra," Jiraiya says. "So… they'll get out here faster, but maybe not in the best of moods."

"Yeah, that's why I asked," Sakura says. She rolls her eyes when Jiraiya pouts at her. "Ugh, fine. I'll handle it."

She steps forward into the rain, a light layer of chakra rejecting the rain from her skin and clothes and hair. She moves through a handful of signs, and then blows out an unnecessarily large Gōkakyū. Kakashi can tell even without the Sharingan that it's thinly dispersed and not particularly powerful. The size doesn't mean anything for the effect, just the size. It's not a fighting technique, not this time. It's just for show.

Just to burn up enough rain to get someone's attention.

Sakura steps back, shakes off the bits of rain that are clinging to her chakra, and then sits down on a small boulder. "And now we wait."

#

They end up setting camp, with Sakura blowing a new fireball every few hours. She barely uses any chakra for it, so they're not exactly setting themselves up for failure. Kakashi takes the first watch, but it's not entirely necessary.

The envoy shows up after they're all awake again, late in the morning. Eleven-thirty, maybe.

The shape sweeps down from the north, large in the sky and somewhat indistinct. Jiraiya retreats to the tent. The enemy might know that he's here, but if they don't, then it's safer to just keep him out of sight until future notice.

Sakura waits at the border of the chakra-laced rain, Kakashi and Gai flanking her. The scroll—the absolutely precious, incredibly concerning scroll—lies five feet ahead of her, just barely avoiding the deluge.

The woman is… beautiful.

For all that they'd spoken of her techniques and general appearance, Kakashi hadn't been ready for her to be so attractive. Her expression mars it a bit, because even the prettiest of people can look ugly if their expression slants towards 'derisive and dismissive,' but it's not enough to hide that she must be absolutely gorgeous when she's actually in a good mood.

Blue hair, a lip piercing, orange eyes. The body is hidden behind an amorphous blob of a coat, but her bone structure is magnificent.

Kakashi's never had a weakness for pretty people, per se, but he's… good at noticing things.

"Konan," Sakura says, once the woman is within earshot. The great white wings fold down and in and become nothing, the flaking sheets of paper pressing into the woman's skin until the cracks are no longer visible. Her expression betrays nothing.

"You are of Konoha," she notes.

Sakura inclines her head. "I am."

"What business do you have with Amegakure?" Konan demands, though the tone is so quiet and empty that Kakashi can almost believe it's just a normal question.

"We've brought a gift for peace," Sakura says. "Upon learning of… certain incidents, we took action. There were many parties this gift could go to, but we felt it best to mend bridges with Ame."

Konan blinks at them, slow and assured. She lowers her gaze to the scroll on the ground. "Information?"

"Among other things," Sakura says. She stays where she is. "There is a storage seal on the first portion of the scroll. If you wish to use a clone to open it, we completely understand."

Konan looks up at her again, and Kakashi wonders if she's like Root, someone who's killed all emotion for the sake of someone else's ideal.

"You brought Jiraiya-sensei," Konan says softly. "That was… ill-advised."

Sakura shrugs, deceptively light in the movement. "He's thought you all dead for a decade. He wanted to assure himself of your survival after we informed him that two of his students yet survive."

Konan's expression doesn't change. She holds Sakura's gaze for several hard seconds, then slides her gaze to Kakashi. To Gai. To the tent behind them, where Jiraiya may have finally allowed himself to be seen.

She looks down to the scroll again, and steps back, a clone of paper folding out and about and into existence where she stood. Konan retreats, impassive still, and the clone takes a knee and picks up the scroll.

Kakashi doesn't flinch when the storage seal is released.

Konan simply stills, eyes wide and showing more emotion than anything he's seen of her yet.

"You killed him," Konan says, voice somehow more blank than before.

"What's done in the dark will be brought to the light," Sakura says. "We aren't fond of traitors, especially when they claim to represent us."

It's perhaps too much information to share with a potential enemy, but Kakashi can see the furious calculation behind those eyes. "I see."

"A peace offering," Sakura states, gesturing to the head. "As I said."

Konan's eyes flick to Jiraiya, and then back to Sakura. "This is all you intended?"

"No," Sakura says, and her careful, airy smile lessens. "The man who calls himself Madara is lying to you, and Zetsu is lying to him. To collect the bijuu will not give you a superweapon. It is for the sake of an older plot, one that is centuries in the making. To do so, to fall for Zetsu's schemes, will kill all life as we know it."

Konan watches her for a long moment, and then ducks her head in a sharp nod. "You wish to speak with Pein?"

"Jiraiya might want to speak with Nagato," Sakura says, and Kakashi has been on the field too long to miss that there are at least three layers of communication going into that switch of name. "But I don't want to end up on Zetsu's radar before I have to. Please consume the information within the scroll and then destroy it; we absolutely cannot afford any of it to reach him."

"Why should we believe you?" Konan asks. Her paper clone dismisses itself, the storage scroll, and Danzō's head, laying prone on the drier ground.

Sakura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "We don't have much evidence. It's our word against his. But ask… ask Tobi, the man who calls himself Madara… ask him if he truly thinks the incident with Kiri, the one that broke him, if the timing could have been anything other than a ploy to give him what his teacher needed of him."

Konan tilts her head. "A convoluted question."

"He'll know what it means," Sakura says. "He'll understand that Zetsu could have planned it. Plotted it. Set it up, even; the Mangekyo was involved."

Kakashi has no idea what they're even talking about anymore.

Konan frowns minutely. "Am I expected to believe that Zetsu planned similarly for Yahiko's death?"

Sakura blinks. Hesitates. "We have no confirmation. It's possible. Likely, though we have no way of knowing how. I don't think it was via Danzō, but I don't know if he went through Hanzō instead. I do know that he'd have had reason to do it."

Konan looks down at the scroll, and reseals Danzō's head. "Once we confirm the information you have provided, how do you prefer that we contact you?"

"It can't be through any means that Zetsu has access to," Sakura warns. "So as much as I'd like to leave a summon with you… no. There are instructions there, for when Tobi can meet with us to discuss the manner in which Zetsu lied to him, so if you can pass those along without Zetsu catching wind…"

Konan hides the scroll away inside her massive sleeves. "You fear Zetsu much more than most would."

"He's nearly a thousand years old," Sakura says, voice almost as flat as Konan's. "I can't afford to underestimate him."

"Almost a thousand…"

Sakura grimaces. "He is… effectively a half-brother of the Sage of the Six Paths."

Konan stares.

"You expect me to believe that."

Sakura shrugs. "I can't give you proof, not when it's a game of he-said she-said, but I'm hoping you'll take it under consideration."

Konan watches. Waits. Finally, she nods.

"I will discuss this with Pein. If he agrees, we shall share your information, and your question, with the man who claims to be Madara. Zetsu will be off on missions when these discussions happen. We will…be in touch."

Sakura nods. "Thank you for your time."

Konan steps back, but her eyes flick up to the tent before she can turn.

"Do you… want to speak with him?" Sakura asks, careful with every word.

Konan is still as a statue, and then nods, sharp and jerky. "You brought me Danzō's head. It is enough, I think, to warrant a conversation with our dear sensei."

Sakura nods again. She turns her back to Konan, a show of trust if not for Kakashi and Gai, and strides away. Kakashi doesn't move, and neither does Gai, until Jiraiya brushes past and orders them to join Sakura.

Kakashi isn't sure he wants to hear that conversation.

#

They head back to Konoha that afternoon, a long and easy lope of a run. Jiraiya has some papers from Konan, ones that will apparently, somehow, transmit messages for them once Konan and Nagato make their decisions. Sakura seems to take that as a sign of good faith from the Ame shinobi, and is content to just head back to Konoha with an easier air than they headed out. For all the anxiety of the trip, it went remarkably smoothly, which Kakashi hopes isn't a sign that they're going to get screwed over on the next big job, but honestly? Who even knows anymore.

The entire situation is weird as hell, and Kakashi can only console himself that Gai seems to know as little as he does.

They break for camp halfway back to Konoha, setting out bedrolls and not even really bothering with tents. It's warm, even balmy, and this particular valley is more or less free of the usual pests. Kakashi still ends up squeezing over by Gai, because immunosuppressants may do a great job at keeping his body from rejecting Obito's eye, but they're also… kind of really full of side effects. Being regularly cold is one of them.

"You two are adorable," Sakura coos.

"Eh?" Kakashi asks, tilting his head.

"Er… Genma said…" Sakura trails off, head tilted. "He said you got together after the Kazekage thing?"

"Genma's a fucking liar," Kakashi says flatly. Gai buries his face in Kakashi's hair to laugh, which is just rude. "I'm not saying I've never thought about it, but we gave it a shot years ago and no. Nope."

"Oh," Sakura says, a blush rising in her cheeks. "Sorry."

"There is no offense taken, Most Beautiful Flower!" Gai proclaims. "You are not the first, and surely you won't be the last, for the friendship between myself and My Esteemed Rival has turned many a head!"

Sakura giggles behind her hand. "I'm sure it has!"

"You ever had a friendship like that?" Jiraiya asks, and Sakura hums.

"I had a friend that turned into a rival when I was a kid. Love rival, specifically, we were both into the same guy. He ended up being… kind of nuts," she says, and chuckles in a way that's more self-deprecating than actually humorous. "We, uh, also tried dating at one point. I think I was seventeen? It only lasted a few months, though, and then I ended up dating Kanna, and then Kanna and I ended up dating the childhood crush that went crazy because by that point he'd circled back around to being kind of stable again."

And Kakashi knows exactly how that ended, at this point.

"Well, I can't say I didn't have any confusingly homoerotic rivalries of my own," Jiraiya tosses in. "But, uh, that ended up a little worse than either of yours did, I think."

Yeah.

Yeah, that's one way of putting it.

"With the books you write, I wouldn't have thought the homoerotic element played a role," Sakura says, the kind of probing question that's ready to snap back and bow out of the other party doesn't react well.

Jiraiya shrugs. "We're shinobi. We've only got so long to live anyway. No point in beating around the bush with anything as dumb as that unless there's bloodlines to pass on, and I'm clanless, so that wasn't ever an issue."

Huh.

"Well, you learn something every day, I guess," Kakashi mutters. "Maybe the next Icha Icha can play a little fast and loose with the norms?"

"Nah, those don't sell as well," Jiraiya says, not a little rueful. "The girl on girl does alright, but I've had stores outright refuse to stock anything that does the opposite unless I kill one off at the end. Maybe I can force the issue once I secure the movie deal the publisher's been talking about, but there's just no room for it until I have that kind of leverage."

Right. Lots of the readers are civilians.

"A most unyouthful circumstance," Gai mutters, and Kakashi can't help but laugh. He's pretty sure that was Gai's goal, since the man chuckles in a way that has Kakashi's head thrumming with the reverb from Gai's chest.

His thoughts drift a bit, and he jumps on the new train in the conversational lull.

"I don't think I've ever had a crush turn out poorly," he muses, "But I once slept with a target for a mission, and her dad spent six months harassing me through the mail and through the Hokage to try and get a marriage contract out of it."

Sakura chokes on her laughter. "Oh hell, how did you get out of that one?"

Kakashi grins behind his mask. "I'd love to say that I faked my death or claimed a pre-existing marriage contract or lied about my sexuality, but honestly I think he just got a better offer and decided I wasn't worth it."

"Ignore the problem until it goes away?" Sakura asks.

Kakashi shrugs. "I mean, hey, if it works…"

Sakura turns to Gai, who laughs and shakes his head. "Alas, I've never had the personality or training for any missions of the sort. While I am proud of my skills as a frontline combatant, I'm well aware that I am sorely lacking as an infiltrator or…"

"Honeypot missions," Kakashi says. "The kind I ran a few times."

"Enjoyable ones, at least?" Sakura asks.

Kakashi holds up a hand and wiggles it. "Could have been worse, but I still wouldn't have done it without the paycheck."

Sakura smiles at him and takes a bite of the ration bar she's been nursing for the better part of an hour. "I never ran any honeypot missions. By the time I was old enough, I'd already made my skill as a medic and combatant obvious enough that it was seen as a waste. I had friends that did, but I was just…"

"Better at breaking people and fixing them back up again physically?" Kakashi offers.

Sakura snorts, but nods. "Pretty much. No use losing a high-level medic for a few weeks for an infiltration mission that someone else could run better, you know? There are people that are actually good at that."

It's absolutely true.

"When I was a teenager," Jiraiya says slowly, and Kakashi zeroes in with all the senses telling him this is going to be good. "I tried to give Utatane Koharu flowers on her birthday. Roses, specifically."

Kakashi can't help the strangled whine of a laugh that escapes him.

"What did she do?" Gai asks, since Kakashi can't entirely breathe at the moment.

"Patted me on the head and told me it was very sweet, but I was fifteen and should be looking at someone my own age, and that also she was engaged so even if I was her age it would have never gone anywhere," Jiraiya cheerfully reports. "Tsunade-hime laughed at me for weeks."

Kakashi buries his face in Gai's flack jacket in a futile attempt to stifle his laughter.

Sakura just cackles, having no such compunctions about laughing at Jiraiya.

"Don't you laugh at me, missy," Jiraiya chides, and Kakashi can feel the oncoming gossip. "Your wife told me you used to be Hot For Teacher."

Sakura shrieks and throws a piece of firewood at Jiraiya. The Sannin dodges, grinning widely.

"Oh my god, why do you know that?" Sakura groans.

Jiraiya shrugs. "I have a trustworthy face."

"Bullshit," Sakura accuses.

Jiraiya just grins, entirely smug. "I mean, I did something similar. I literally just told you about it."

Sakura groans, loud and melodramatic, and buries her face in her hands. "You're an asshole."

"Now, now," Kakashi says, and he knows his eye is bright with teasing. "For all that her appearance is apparently a lie, nobody should be ashamed of interest in Tsunade-sama. She is a beautiful, powerful, terrifying woman, and a lot of people are super into that."

Sakura splutters, wordless and red-faced, and then manages to shout, "I would never!"

Jiraiya's laughing at her too, and even Gai is hiding a smile when Kakashi looks at him. "Oh?"

"No, I mean—not Shishou," Sakura says, seeming genuinely horrified. "She's like—like an aunt or a mom or something, not—not like that!"

"Then who?" Gai asks, prodding just a little, because for all that he's one of the best people Kakashi knows, he's just as into the gossip as any shinobi.

"Oh my god," Sakura groans. "I was fourteen. My teacher was weird, but sometimes cool, and I was emotionally vulnerable enough that I started crushing on him. I never even confessed, okay, I told Shizune about it and she said I should try to get over it because he was twice my age and if I ever so much as hinted at the crush existing, he'd panic and run off for months to get away from the emotions, or just… do what Koharu-sama did to Jiraiya, but ten times more emotionally awkward. Pat me on the head and say 'that's nice, Sakura-chan' and then disappear for months because, again, twice my age and—"

"Emotionally stunted genius?" Jiraiya guesses, voice wry.

Sakura pouts at him.

"Listen, you've got a type and you've made enough jokes about it that it's not a secret," Jiraiya says, and his eyes flick to Kakashi with a grin that seems to be saying 'you're on that list, too.'

Kakashi, for the record, is not a homewrecker, no matter how cute he thinks the Uzumaki women are.

"I think that response would have been valid," Kakashi says, and Sakura glares at him. "What? It's true! You were fourteen. Anyone in twenties that responded positively to a confession from a fourteen-year-old deserves to be locked up in T&I. Panicking and ditching the country is a bit extreme, but, like, better than the alternative?"

"I know that," Sakura grumbles. Her glare moves to the ground. "I am going to go home to my wife and cuddle and kiss and I'm going to be so much happier than all of you, because I'm a badass that is married and you're all still single losers, so ha!"

Kakashi snickers. "Anko called me a master ho the other day. I stand by it. I wish to continue being a master ho."

"You're not a master anything," Sakura informs him, nose in the air. She sniffs imperiously. "You're an idiot."

"I graduated at five," Kakashi says, a little bemused.

"Yeah, you're a genius, but you're dumb," Sakura insists. "About other stuff."

Kakashi blinks at her, and then turns to the eldest of them. "Jiraiya-sama, I'm being bullied."

"I don't care."

Kakashi pouts at his idol, and then turns and hugs Gai. "Gai, you are the only one who truly loves me."

"I am aware, my Eternal Rival," Gai intones, solemn as the grave. "I shall carry you to the ends of the earth if you so wish it of me."

"Thank you," Kakashi sniffs. "You are so much better than the traitors on the other side of the fire."

Gai pats his back, and the conversation moves on, at length, to theories on how the medical exchange program with Suna is going to play out.

#

They report to the Hokage, who nods and 'hm's in all the right places, and asks to see the papers from Konan. Everything plays out as it should, except Kanna isn't there.

Sakura is appropriately antsy about it.

"She's uninjured," Hiruzen tells them, and there's amusement in his face. "There was… an incident. Fuuinjutsu accident. Harmless, but damaging to her reputation. She did ask that Jiraiya visit if he had the option, given how she's been unwilling to leave the house until the effects are reversed."

Wow. That's… technically not worrying, but incredibly intriguing.

"Ah," Sakura says. "Um. Okay, then. Jiraiya-sama, Kakashi-kun, do you have time to come by?"

"Aa," Kakashi says. He was planning on heading home and cleaning up, but he's pretty sure he has a spare outfit or two at the Uzumaki house. "If I can borrow your shower."

"Of course," Sakura says, with a smile that makes her whole face light up, like she can't think of anything better than Kakashi racking up her water bill. "Gai-kun, I'd love to invite you as well, but Kanna-chan doesn't know you as well as Kakashi, and if it's a fuuinjutsu mistake…"

Gai waves her off with a bright smile. "It is no trouble, Sakura-san! For a situation such as this, it is no surprise that she would only accept specialists like Jiraiya-sama, and her nearest and dearest like yourself and my Eternal Rival."

Sakura sags with relief, minor but visible. "Thank you, Gai. I'll see you Thursday for our spar if nothing comes up."

A quick affirmation, and Gai is gone. Sakura leads the other two out of the building and over the rooftops to her home. Kakashi could absolutely find his way there blindfolded at this point, but he lets her lead anyway.

She knocks first.

"Kanna-chan?" Sakura calls through the door. When there's no answer, she cracks the door open. "Kanna-chan, the Hokage said you had a fuuinjutsu accident. I brought Jiraiya and Kakashi, can we come in?"

"You first," Kanna says, sounding like she's not quite in front of the door. Maybe around the nearest corner inside, so they can't see her when Sakura slips inside. "And then you can punch them if they laugh at me.

Curioser and curioser.

"Okay," Sakura says, and squeezes through the opening between the door and frame. There's a beat of silence, and then Sakura squeals.

"No, no—Sakura!"

"Kyaa~!" Sakura squeals, a noise Kakashi has heard from her before, but not exactly anything approaching often. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You are so cute!"

"Sakura, you can't just—Sakura!"

"Oooooooooh my gosh," Sakura coos. "You did this with fuuinjutsu? You—do the kids know?"

"Yes, they fucking know. So does the Hokage, and Anko. Can you—can you stop?"

"Oh, but Kanna, you're so—"

"Cute, I know," Kanna grumbles. "Oh my—I can feel your curiosity! Get in here, idiots!"

Kakashi goes in first, and then freezes. Jiraiya is only a step behind him.

Kanna glares at him with slit-pupil eyes. Fangs in her mouth. Whisker marks like Naruto's.

An extra pair of ears, crimson and perched on top of her head.

Five actual, literal tails slipping out the back of her kimono top.

"Wh…" Kakashi trails off, because he's seen Inuzuka transformations, but this… it's a lot.

"How the hell did you pull this off?" Jiraiya asks, sounding impressed and only slightly like he wants to laugh his ass off.

Kanna readjusts her glasses, and Kakashi sees that her original, human ears are still there to hold the stems of the frames. Four ears, total. Can she hear through them?

She blushes. "I don't know."

"Did you ask Kurama?" Sakura asks. Kakashi pretends not to see the way she is rubbing her fingers into the patch of hair behind the ears, a look of awe on her face.

"Yes," Kanna says, voice flat. "He was useless."

"Didn't understand the seals?" Jiraiya asks, seemingly aiming for commiserating and sympathetic, and mostly succeeding.

"No, he just laughed at me," Kanna grouses. "The asshole."

Kakashi kind of wants to laugh too.

"A proper kitsune-gao," Sakura fawns over Kanna. "Gosh, you're like all the fancy old tales right now!"

"Sakura," Kanna whines. "I can't go outside like this! I need help fixing it."

"Ah," Kakashi says, immediately grasping the problem. "It wouldn't do much for Naruto's reputation if his guardian was seen as being a possible subordinate of 'the evil Kyuubi' or something to that effect."

He uses air quotes, absolutely. He does not want anyone to misinterpret the very, very intentional quoting there.

Kanna nods miserably, bonelessly melting into Sakura's embrace. "I can't put him through that. I've been working from home, mostly, and the kids know not to bring anyone over right now. I can use a henge on my shadow clones, but not on myself for some reason, so I sent one the first day to let him know, and Anko's been running me my work since then. I… didn't really trust anyone else to do it."

"Show me the schematics," Jiraiya says, following Kanna to the kitchen island. "Does Kurama have any input on why henge is failing?"

Kanna shrugs. "Something about foxfire and leaves. I don't know. I can't make heads or tails of it."

The tails joke is right there. Low-hanging fruit. He does not take it.

He wants to, but he doesn't.

"You've only messed with your seal, right?" Jiraiya asks. "Not Naruto's?"

"The toads still have the key," Kanna points out. "I couldn't, even if I wanted to."

"Good," Jiraiya says. "Honestly, I was hoping to work on the Tobi thing when we got in, but—"

"It's mostly done," Kanna says, just a touch defensive. "Just have to interlock the coded chakra dampening matrix with the space-time barrier so neither of them fuck up the reverse summoning section. It's not innovation anymore, just math."

"Okay," Jiraiya says. "You work on that, I'll be another set of eyes on the… furry little problem."

She hisses at him, except it comes out as a strangled, croaking bark, and she claps both hands over her mouth in horror.

Sakura's eyes sparkle. She too has her hands over her mouth, and it does nothing to stop the delighted, obsessed squeak of pure joy.

Kanna collapses on the island and makes a noise of irritation, one that Kakashi's pretty sure sounds different from usual, because… fox.

Fox girl.

His hand inches towards her head, and he tries to rub her ears the way he would his dogs.

She twists her head enough to glare at him with one eye, tails curling around her form like armor.

"Let me guess," Kakashi says, with a smile and a tone as light as air. "If I don't remove my hand, you're going to feed it to me?"

She growls, low and quiet, but she's always done that. "That actually feels nice, so I'm going to let it slide, but if you make any jokes, I will be biting your hand off."

"Right," Kakashi says, and then gives in and joins Sakura in cuddling the woman on the wide wooden stool.

She barks like a fox at it, but doesn't actually throw them off, and with Kanna, that's basically permission.

"Cuuuuuuuute," Sakura whispers, rubbing her cheek against that surprisingly soft fox ear.

Yeah. Yeah, she is.

Fuck, he's so gone.

A/N: Guess who hit 75k last night and can officially say she wrote 1.5 NaNos in the span of 1 (unofficial) NaNo

Kakashi is great at noticing aesthetic beauty but his approach to sex is weirdly disconnected from it? Like, he doesn't actually find Rasa that attractive, but was entirely willing to bang him, but while he finds Konan incredibly pretty (and really, who wouldn't?), he's not actually attracted to her. It's fun!

I feel like I should apologize for the ending, but like. I can't. I won't. I think it's fun.

Anyway, yeah! Ame actually went off without a hitch. Bodes... poorly.