"If only my heart were as cold as I pretend it is, maybe I could get over this."
Jessica Katoff
As the weeks went on, Erik saw his former angel and his former love, two very different people, at only one more opening before he no longer saw Rene or her husband.
It was expected, for she was very pregnant and due any day when Otello had opened. He had not been able to speak with her that day, but he had caught sight of her when they sat in their normal box three. The de Chagny box. Well, Erik would never quite get over the fact that at one point in her life, Rene de Renaud had been Rene de Chagny, a young girl in a wealthy family with two brothers still living and able to provide for her instead of the husband who inevitably gave her what she had now.
The masochist in him wondered what the child looked like. What little features of their beautiful mother they possessed, or what features of their father they had unfortunately gotten from the bastard.
His hatred for François knew no bounds, and it hadn't even when he was dead in Erik's eyes.
Nadir had taken the information quite well, but he was also disappointed in himself for not discovering the true identity of the woman sooner. Erik hadn't placed any blame on the Daroga for once in his life, but that didn't make the Persian any less guilty. It was just something that he hadn't been able to avoid.
At least this time Erik had not lost the girl by his own devices.
The most stunning part of the coming cooler months was the letter he received. Well, it was moreover a formal birth announcement, his shock in receiving it quite visible on his face. Nadir was sitting across from him while he read it, and Erik had no choice but to read a loud the contents lest the pesky Daroga hop up from his seat.
"Messieurs Portmanteau and Khan, myself and Madame de Renaud are pleased to announce the birth of our son. This is an invitation to formally invite you both to the gathering at the Comte de Chagny's manor after our boy's christening in eight weeks time. We hope to see you there. Monsieur François de Renaud and Madame Rene."
"She had a son," Nadir replied thankfully.
The pressure on her now to have any more children would be less, and there would be great relief from Monsieur de Renaud to loosen his fiery grip on Rene. Well… Erik hoped so anyways. Usually violent men did not change from being violent men often.
Staring at the invitation in his fingers, precariously held up as it was, Erik felt… well, he didn't quite know what he felt.
"I wonder what they named him," the Daroga added senselessly.
"I don't know if I care, Nadir."
"Are you going to go?"
"Are you?" Erik returned pitifully. They were invited to things like this all the time now, but Erik had not been to a single event. Nadir went occasionally, but lost his taste for them almost as soon as he'd gotten there.
They were both icons of the opera now. People seemed to revere their stand-offish demeanors and secluded ways of life enough to actually put away the mask Erik wore and his past that was not so hidden by the de Chagny family. Many people wondered many things considering the couples always attended the opera together now, but nothing went further than speculation.
Erik was amused to have received this invitation, however, for it was a conscious decision by not only François to let him attend this event, but also for the Comte and his wife to allow him to be there as well. What a change of events, to be invited to this house where he had nearly been shot.
Maybe he should have let Raoul hit him.
Erik shook away the morbid thoughts and pushed the small invitation onto his desk.
"Should I even dare go? The amount of questions it might arise is a mind-numbing thought."
Nadir hummed from the other side of the room.
"I agree. It sounds like quite the troubling amount of inquisitions, but is seeing her… and the child worth it to you?"
"Of course she is worth it."
He wanted to avoid mention of the son.
"Then we both go. Put on our best suits and dine with the likes of them. We should attend more of these things if we want more patrons."
"Patrons have caused me nothing but problems, Daroga," Erik said with a grimace.
"Not entirely. Our Prima Ballerina's has come quite in handy."
They hadn't needed his money, but it did put a nice cushion in the work they had to do on the stage. The man had protested that if his angelic dancer was to be upon it, then it would be the best stage in all of Europe, so who was Erik to disagree with that? A new stage was perfect for acoustics anyways.
"So they might not all be pests, but we are doing just fine now without them. If my opera ever needs a patron I shall end myself and this place with it."
Nadir laughed at Erik's dramatics, but he couldn't help but feeling some truth in the statement. He'd already come to such an ultimatum before… the innocent grasshopper a horrid memory for him.
Not that the entire night wasn't.
"Do I dare face her?"
"The Comtesse de Chagny, if that is to whom you are referring, comes with the territory whether or not you agree."
"I just wish they had gone back to Calais instead of staying here to finish out Rene's pregnancy," Erik muttered, remembering overhearing that at their last visit. He had wondered why they did not go back to their home, but the Renaud's had chosen to stay here instead and have the Comtesse help Rene in early motherhood for a bit to make sure the younger knew what to expect for her children.
Now that was a thought that made Erik dizzy.
"We cannot always have what we wish, Erik. Even you have learnt that lesson, I believe. Now, are you going or not?"
"Do you think it feasible to avoid the Madame de Chagny?"
"They did say it was a large party, and with all four of our eyes, I am sure we could keep away. Though… if they are hosting, they will be there to greet us at the door."
Erik couldn't handle shaking hands with the Comte, murder and healing on his hands simultaneously. Was it enough that he'd saved his sister… if Raoul even knew of that situation, for the boy probably would have dissolved into a fit of tears if he had. Rene had been vague about it. Idiotic boy probably didn't even know his elder sister was having troubles anyways.
And then having to greet the woman who had taught and ruined him. Well, she hadn't completely put him in the grave, at least there was that. She no longer wore his ring, and there were many reasons he could come to think of such an end for it. The simple gold band was probably scraps at a master jewelers, or maybe it was stuck to the bottom of her egregious pile of shiny things. Either way, Erik was actually glad to see her no longer wearing it on her skin, for a ring of his only truly belonged on Rene if anyone at all. But she already had rings to wear, and Erik had nothing.
He tried not to think of it.
"I suppose we might venture there and suffer the consequences. What is the worst that could happen?"
"We actually attend with plus ones," Nadir chuckled to himself.
Ah yes, lonely, old, and ugly bachelors. They would be the perfect dates. Not that it mattered, they would attend as business partners and mingle with the crowds who they'd been interacting with for weeks now. Some of them were civil, but others pretended they knew everything about opera. Those ones were easy for Erik to pick out because he did know everything about opera and music, easily shutting those down who thought he was like any previous manager. No, anyone in the opera might agree he was a bit too involved, yet things got done and they got done well.
Erik would not apologize.
"So we are going then?" Nadir confirmed, probably seeing the worried look on his face.
"Yes, old man. What else have we to do?"
"Well, I am sure you could come up with something, but I think this might be good for you, to see her and be in the same room with her. And well, interacting with the Comte shall be a defining moment for me."
"An old friend, Daroga?"
Nadir made a lewd face towards Erik who merely ignored it. If he were a few years younger he might have replied, but if he had high ground anywhere, it would have to be the moral one. Though he did chuckle slightly at the idea of him having the higher ground over anyone.
"Do you think your feelings for Madame de Chagny shall re-arise, or are you clear of them forever?"
Unsure what to make of the question, Erik denied it first.
He didn't love her anymore, he loved Rene and that had been fashioned by their own accord together, unlike his rather one-sided romance with her sister-in-law. That was still horrible information for him to register, even weeks later. She was related to the people who had caused him some of the worst misery of his entire life… and she still somehow loved him for killing her brother. Not that Philippe had not been completely awful to her, but he still thought her forgiveness a miracle.
Erik hated to think she thanked him for his poor behavior, for that was positive reinforcement of quite the awful attribute.
He would stick to music for now.
"They are a thing of the past. My songbird was… a pet project for a few months. While Rene, I took care of her and she cared for me genuinely, almost from the start. There are differences."
Nadir grinned.
"That there are, and I am happy to hear you vocalize them for yourself. Why else would I help the once Vicomte?"
"You would have done it even if his lover was screaming not to leave me," Erik dismissed the idea the Daroga could ever be anything other than a meddlesome pest.
"Very true."
They left it at that.
Erik was slightly anticipating the event, part of him wanting to see Rene, and the other dreading the three fourths of company he would otherwise have to endure. Not that it wasn't like many others were going to be there as well, simply a strange thing for him to finally be invited somewhere and attend. There would be a mortifying ordeal of questions, he was sure, and then another round of invitations to this event or that which he might possibly decide were worth his time if this one did not completely elude him.
High society had never been his goal, but now that it wanted him to be a part of it, even if only for his money and success, then so be it.
Erik was always whipped for fate.
A/N: We gotta get Erik and Rene back together again, huh? Someone should do something... oh. Right.