STAN
I haven't seen Kenny in a while. I decided it time I pay him a visit. I know he is off this afternoon. It's around 5pm so any company he will be having hasn't arrived yet. If Kenny does have company they usually don't show up until well after 9pm. I can hear yelling from inside his apartment. What the hell is going on? I knock on the door surprised when Bebe opens the door.
"Fuck out of here Clyde!" she yells. "You are saying how much you want me in your life, but you knock up your best friends baby mama who is my friend!"
"Bebe, wait!" cries Clyde. I slowly walk into the apartment seeing him on the floor crying. Oh man…. Bebe makes eye contact with me not saying a word. She walks pass me leaving the door open. Kenny is tending to Clyde on the floor who is cry hysterically.
"Do I need to come back?" I ask carefully. Kenny glances up realizing I have arrived.
"Naw man, you can stay," says Kenny. "Come on Clyde. You can lay down in my bed for now."
"Really?" he sniffles. "You mean it?" Kenny nods with his face saying he just might regret that. He helps Clyde up before leading him to his room. I feel awkward knowing what is going on. I hope Clyde will be okay. He sounded like he really wanted Bebe back. No come back from knocking up her friend. Kenny comes from his room heading straight to the kitchen. The door is closed that will allow us to have some privacy while we catch up.
"Shit," he says grabbing whiskey from the fridge. "You want any man?"
"I'm good," I replied. "I was coming to see how you were doing? Guess I should have called first."
"You good," replies Kenny. "You can see me anytime you want." He goes into his fridge grabbing his bottle of whiskey. He pours it into a glass drinking from it before looking at me. "It was going well until Clyde dropped this fucking bomb in my god damn apartment," he states rolling his eyes. I follow Kenny into his living room sitting down. "Bebe was suppose to stay with me this weekend." I raise an eyebrow. Isn't Bebe Clyde's ex? Should he really be dating her knowing how Clyde feels?
"Are you dating Bebe?" I ask deciding to upfront.
"No," scoffs Kenny sitting down on his sofa. "We only fuck, that's it."
"All right," I replied sitting down next to him. "How did all this…come about?"
"Us fucking?" he questions.
"No, Clyde knocking up his best friend baby mom," I explain. I know Kenny rarely turns down getting some ass. Bebe is his type too. He definitely wasn't saying no. "I mean Clyde strikes me as a loyal kind of guy."
"He is," replies Kenny. "Sadly, his ass was drunk and wanting to get laid. Not a good combo to have at all. Token is going to kill him when he finds out."
"Token," I reply. "The super tall guy?"
"Not Craig but the other guy," says Kenny. "Clyde came over because apparently Nichole wants to get rid of the kid and he doesn't want her too. Bebe just happened to be in the next room so you know….she happened to hear what happened."
"Oh man," I reply after a minute. "That sucks."
"Sucks for him and now he has missed up my damn weekend," he huffs.
"Jesus….." I mutter. "Do you think Bebe will tell Token?" Kenny takes a drink from his glass.
"Probably not," he replies. "Bebe is more loyal to Nichole than Token."
"That is understandable if she is closer to Nichole," I state. I sigh glad I am not the one in either position for that situation. "Besides this are you doing good?"
"Hell yeah," he replied. "I have been able to pay off a lot of debt. I at the point where I am not living paycheck to paycheck anymore. It's so nice not to wonder when I will be able to eat again or make a choice on which bill won't be getting paid." I nod my head because trying to be a college student and survive is hard as hell, especially in California. "What's going with you? Kyle sees you more than I do." I chuckle.
"Of course, I would see my man more than you," I reply. Kenny breaks out into a huge grin.
"You guys fucking together?!" he exclaims. The way he says it causes me to blush.
"Yeah," I reply. "I fucking love him."
"I can see that," he says before finishing his liquor. "Man, I can't believe how fast it happened." I blush further.
"Well…" I reply.
"What?" asking Kenny leaning forward. "What the fuck am I missing?"
"Kyle and I hooked up that weekend he came to visit you in California," I confess. Kenny looks surprised.
"Dude!" he exclaims jumping. "How come you didn't fucking tell me!"
"I don't know….." I mutter as I continue to be flustered. "I guess I didn't want you judging me." Kenny laughs.
"Bullshit," he replies. "You know I wouldn't judge you." I laugh nervously. I think about how come I really didn't want him to be aware.
"I guess it's because it's your best friend," I explain. "I didn't want you to think I was just using him."
"Hold on," says Kenny walking towards the kitchen. "I want to refill my glass before you tell the story of what the fuck I missed under my nose." Kenny refills his glass sitting back down. "I want to hear everything! What you are willing to share at least."
"Cool," I replied glad to know he is willing to respect my space. "I almost feel stupid trying to explain it to anyone. Like the party that night I can't lie I wasn't feeling it. I really just wanted to be left alone in my room after seeing my mom but figured I would try to mingle a little." Kenny rubs his chin.
"I remember that," he replies. "You didn't seem too excited about anyone coming over. I appreciate you still putting money in for the alcohol."
"You know how I am," I reply. I like to make sure our guest enjoys themselves."
"True," says Kenny. "How does Kyle enter the picture?" I swallow hard thinking about how to describe this to Kenny without sounding like an idiot.
"I felt him," I replied. Kenny stares at me as if he is confused. I swallow my fear continuing my story. "I was just minding my business listening to the music drinking my beer and I felt him. It was…like this inner pull. I looked out into the crowd and I saw him just as he saw me. Soon as I eyes met I knew I wanted to talk to him but I was scared."
"Scared of what?" asks Kenny. "It's just Kyle." I can see why he would say that. Kyle is shy but he is a very caring sensitive soul.
"I didn't know that then," I reply with a shaky breath. "It was intense watching him. I was deciding if I wanted to make a move or not. If I did, I didn't want to screw things up." I run my hand through my hair recalling how I felt in that moment. "Once we started talking though it was all good. Soon as he spoke, I knew I wanted to be with him. The more he talked the more I liked him. I didn't tell him I wanted to have sex with him. You know I am not good at that shit."
"Neither is Kyle," says Kenny. "Like he has only hooked up with people he is dating. He is super picky." I chuckle.
"Now I really feel special," I admit.
"You most certainly are," says Kenny. "Who made the first move?"
"Kyle," I reply.
"You're shitting me," says Kenny with his mouth dropping open. I shake my head no.
"Like seriously I didn't know what to fucking say to him," I explain. "It's like he read my mind or something. He literally said he wanted to have sex with me. Not fuck but sex." I look down at my lap feeling embarrassed because I became erect instantly when Kyle said that. "Then he invited me up to his room."
"Holy shit…" says Kenny. "I am surprised you two were able to hide this from me. Like you guys made it seem like you meeting was whatever."
"I can't speak for Kyle but it was more to me than that," I replied. "I moved here hoping he was still single." It hits Kenny all at once.
"You moved here to be with him?" he asks.
"I did," I admit. Kenny is floored.
"You hadn't spoken to him though!" he exclaims.
"We never exchanged numbers," I explain.
"You could have asked me for it," defends Kenny.
"I know but I didn't want you to know what was going on," I explain. "I got a Facebook to reach out to him, but I couldn't find him…."
"Yeah Cartman," says Kenny shaking his head. I narrow my eyes. What the fuck is that suppose to mean? What does that have to do with anything. I take a deep breathe praying he isn't saying what I think he is.
"Did Kyle get back together with Cartman?" I ask curiously. Kenny drinks from his glass shifting his eyes. That tells me everything I need to know. "How long?"
"Not long," he replies.
"Then tell me," I demand. Kenny finishes his drink.
"Five months," he replies. "I mean that is such a short amount of time." I run my hands over my face.
"Are you fucking kidding me," I snap. "That guy is literally verbally and physically abusive and he went back to him?" Kenny holds up hands in surrender.
"Hey man you would need to talk to him about that," he replies. "I wouldn't have said anything if I knew you didn't know. How could you not?"
"I knew Cartman was ex but not a recent ex" I correct. "I wouldn't think he could date such a asshole after being with me." I know Kyle and I weren't together but why would he go back to him. He went back to him instead of reaching out for me. What the fuck?
"Don't let it bother you man," says Kenny encouragingly. "Kyle didn't mess with anybody after that. I think he was waiting for you….maybe." That doesn't make me feel any better. Deep down I feel like he chose fucking Cartman over me.
"I want a drink," I state. Kenny looks a little worried.
"Are you….."
"Don't!" I say cutting him off. Kenny nods getting up to go fix me a glass. Soon as that alcohol is in my system, I begin to feel better. That familiar feeling of warmth, floating outside of my body. I didn't realize how much I missed it until now. This drink hit me a lot harder since I haven't had a serious drink beyond beer in years. After 3 glasses I am really feeling it. I stand up. "Kenny, I'm going to go man."
"Can you even drive?" asks Kenny. "It's been a while since you had a liquor."
"Kenny I'm fine," I reply pulling out my keys. "I'll will text you when I get home okay." Kenny continues to appear concerned but lets me go on my way. While I am driving home all I can think about is what could I do differently? Maybe I should have moved out here sooner? I mean maybe I should have come to visit Denver sooner. So many questions no answers. I am glad when I get home. The room isn't spinning but I can feel my heart pumping hard. I turn the alarm on my car heading up to my floor. I get off the elevator to see Kyle sitting on the floor beside. He has his knees pulled into his chest as his chin rests on them. What the hell is he doing here? His head shoots up as he quickly gets to his feet.