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Chapter 14: Join Me in Paradise

Mabel: (laughs) Libertalia! The long-lost, legendary pirate utopia. Discovered, after three hundred years, by one Mabel Drake.

Dipper: (annoyed) And...?

Mabel: And... her slightly less charming twin brother who happened to be tagging along for the ride. You know, I always knew you'd make something of yourself one day.

Dipper: Yeah, just so you know, it's not my first lost city.

Mabel: Shhh. Just... Enjoy the moment. So where do you want to start?

(Dipper points at a large building with tall tower in the near distance past the smaller buildings and streets.)

Dipper: How about that building right over there?

Mabel: Oh, you mean the one with the massive guard tower?

Dipper: Yeah. I say we go see what it was guarding.

Mabel: Works for me.

(They hop down from the platform and start walking through the street.)

Mabel: (ecstatic) This is... I mean... I'm speechless. Holy God damn shit, Dipper!

Dipper: (amused) That's your idea of speechless?

Mabel: God, how long do you think it took to build this place?

Dipper: Years. Decades, even. How the hell did they keep it a secret all that time?

Mabel: I mean, this place... Even without the treasure, this is quite the find.

Dipper: (somberly) If only Alcazar saw it that way.

Mabel: (sighs) You just can't let us enjoy this, can you?

Dipper: I'm enjoying it. We just have a goal here, remember? That's all I'm saying.

Mabel: Trust me, I know about the goal. Doesn't mean we still can't enjoy this.

Dipper: Okay, then.

(He finds a stone plaque on the side of the road with writings carved into it.)

Dipper: Hey, Mabel, check it out. It like a pirate code a conduct.

Mabel: Hmm... thought the whole point of this place was not having rules?

Dipper: Even pirate ships had their own rules.

(They walk for a bit and reach the edge of a hill with some steps leading down to an intersection with a life-size statue of Avery on a podium.)

Dipper: (smirks) Captain Avery. Was wondering when you'd turn up.

(Mabel enters a building with a big hole in the wall. Dipper follows her in and they sit down at a table with empty mugs.)

Mabel: Not a bad view.

Dipper: Hey. Cheers.

Mabel: (chuckles) Yeah, cheers.

(They clink their mugs together and look out through the hole at the statue and the area around it.)

Dipper: What were they doing here?

Mabel: Who? The colonists?

Dipper: Yeah. I mean, you throw your lot in with these infamous outlaws and then what?

Mabel: (smiles) You know... take a load off. Find some refuge. Enjoy a little grog. There're far worse fates.

Dipper: Eh, I guess. Except you have to see Avery's statue every day.

(They both laugh. After a moment of silence, Dipper has a thought.)

Dipper: Hey, do you, uh... ever wonder with like different choices of how we might've ended up?

Mabel: You mean like taking your magic show on the road?

Dipper: (laughs) No, that was an option. I was good.

Mabel: (chuckles) It was not a viable option.

Dipper: You know what? You're just jealous. You always were... But, I mean... what would our lives have been like if we hadn't started by chasing these people who've been dead for hundreds of years? You think it would resemble more of a normal life?

Mabel: Hmmm... normal. You got everybody gathered around a table for Thanksgiving. Exchanging all the baby photos. Something like that?

(Dipper nods.)

Mabel: No. No, thank you. Not for me. I like the hand we've been dealt.

Dipper: Yeah. Heard that before.

Mabel: C'mon. We're fortunate people.

Dipper: This is fortunate?

Mabel: Yeah. I mean, of course I've been locked up for the last decade so it's all relative I suppose.

Dipper: (chuckles) Alright. I'll give you that. This is much better than prison.

(They sit for another minute before putting the mugs down and standing back up.)

Dipper: Well, my mug's run dry.

Mabel: Yeah, I was about to say the service here is lousy.

(They leave the building and go down the hill. They start looking around the places near the statue. Dipper finds a table with some old tools and weapons.)

Dipper: Hey, Mabel, check it out. Blacksmith's forge. Making some cutlasses here.

Mabel: (playfully) Avast, you dirty dog!

(He turns around and sees his sister holding a cutlass in a fighting stance. The blade immediately breaks off and drops on the ground.)

Dipper: (sarcastically) Nice.

Mabel: (embarrassed) I was doing a...

Dipper: Oh, yeah. I know.

Mabel: I was doing a thing.

Dipper: Right. You're a horrible pirate.

(Mabel throws the broken cutlass away and keeps looking around with her brother.)

Mabel: You suppose they traded with other colonies?

Dipper: If they did, they didn't do it on this island. Otherwise, word would've gotten out about the place.

Mabel: Good point.

(She finds some wooden pillories outside a building and puts her head and arms in one.)

Mabel: Hey, Dippingsauce, check it out! I'd totally get a picture of myself in this thing. If we had a camera that is.

Dipper: I can sketch you in my journal.

Mabel: Really?

Dipper: Yeah.

(He quickly draws a picture of her in the pillory on an empty page in his journal. He gives her an angry look and a lit cigarette in her mouth and has her say "Nice drawing, bro". Mabel gets out of the pillory and they both enter the building behind it. Inside are several empty jail cells.)

Dipper: Guess even a pirate utopia needs a place to lock up riff-raff.

Mabel: (baffled) Can you imagine who pirates put in prison? That's a little hypocritical don't you think? Pirates having a jail?

Dipper: Well, I guess every group has its assholes.

(They exit the jailhouse and observe the Avery statue closely. Dipper sees a symbol marked on side of the statue's podium in dark-red. It's an image of the front side of a skull with an X below it. Looks similar to Avery's sigil, but not exactly.)

Dipper: (curious) What's this symbol?

Mabel: I saw a few of them in the jungle when I was coming to find you.

Dipper: So who's marking these places? Is that another sigil?

Mabel: No. Not that I know of...

Dipper: Maybe invaders? I mean, I'm sure these guys had plenty of enemies out there.

Mabel: That's a good point.

(They walk around some more and get to a barn where they find the remains of animals chained in place.)

Dipper: Huh. Horse bones.

Mabel: They're still tied up. Like they were abandoned. Why?

Dipper: Don't know. Maybe the people left in a hurry.

Mabel: Or they were taken away.

Dipper: (suspicious) Something isn't kosher here.

Mabel: What do you think happened here?

Dipper: Whaddaya mean?

Mabel: (uneasy) You know, all good things must come to an end, right? I mean, I'd joke about cursed pirate treasure, but after hearing all of your stories...

Dipper: Well, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Usually.

(They keep moving and reach a building where they find a tunnel under a staircase.)

Dipper: Hey Mabel. C'mere. This looks promising.

Mabel: Right behind you.

(They crouch down to get through and enter a wide underground area with tables and shelves holding lots of provisions.)

Dipper: Looks like a hideout of some kind.

Mabel: Yeah, but who would they be hiding out from? Themselves?

(They spot a drawn map on the wall.)

Dipper: Look at this. Looks like the layout of the commercial district.

Mabel: Yeah and... Boom. Here's our treasury right there. See, there's the tower.

(They look for a way out and find another one of the strange symbols marked on the wall.)

Mabel: There's that symbol again.

Dipper: What were these guys up to?

(They find a well with a dim light coming from the bottom.)

Dipper: That's our way out of here. I see some light down below.

(He hooks his rope on a beam and rappels down the well. He gets out through a hole in the ground and hangs over a deep gorge. In front of him is a ledge with more ruined buildings behind it.)

Dipper: Hey, ah... I found more of the colony.

(He swings over to the ledge and pulls his rope back to him. Mabel does the same thing he did and joins him on the ledge. They start to move forward until they hear voices nearby.)

Dipper: Shhh. Look.

(They get down and see men with guns walking around.)

Mabel: (irritated) Ah, hell. Shoreline.

Dipper: (whispers) I don't think they've seen us yet.

Mabel: (whispers) Let's keep it that way.

Dipper: Alright, keep your head down.

(They approach their enemies while under cover.)

Mercenary 1: There's more buildings this way.

Mercenary 2: It was a whole city, man.

Mercenary 3: Did anyone get word to Tambry?

Mercenary 4: Just about to tell you the same thing.

Mercenary 2: They're on their way just now.

Mercenary 1: So where do we go from here?

Mercenary 2: I'm not the treasure hunter. Let's keep the area secure 'til he gets here.

(The twins sneak up on some mercenaries in front of them and stealth attack them. Their presence is suddenly alerted and the other mercs open fire.)

Mabel: They're on us! Dipper, watch out!

(The duo fight back and manage to take them all down.)

Mabel: Think that's all of 'em.

Dipper: Grab any ammo you can. Won't be the last of 'em.

Mabel: Think they're looking for us or the treasure?

Dipper: (chuckles) Knowing Tyrone... both.

(They refill the ammo in their guns and proceed to scale the ruins resting on the cliffside. They get to another area where more men are patrolling.)

Dipper: Ah, crap. More Shoreliners.

(They hide again as the mercenaries search the place while speaking to one another.)

Mercenary 1: Can you believe all this? Looks like Rich Boy was right.

Mercenary 2: About time we had a proper payday.

Mercenary 3: Anyone see the Drakes?

Mercenary 1: Not yet. Maybe our boys fixed 'em up already?

Mercenary 2: They would've called it in. I don't like this.

Mercenary 1: Keep your cool and keep your eyes open.

(The siblings know the way to the treasury is through them. So they make their move and ambush this next group of enemies. They manage to gain the upper hand by getting the drop on them. A big guy in body armor and a shotgun moves towards them.)

Mabel: Look out, armored guy!

(They both shoot him numerous times before he goes down.)

Mabel: Alright, we got him!

(They clear the area until there's none remaining.)

Dipper: You see any more? Or we clear?

Mabel: I think we're clear.

Dipper: You all right?

Mabel: Yeah. Just a little winded.

(They reach a gap between buildings with a metal pole over it. Dipper jumps to it and uses it to swing across.)

Dipper: C'mon, Mabel!

Mabel: Is that thing steady?

Dipper: Steady as anything else around here.

Mabel: Okay, so... no. Alright, here I come.

(They both get across an enter the next area where even more Shoreline men are.)

Mabel: (whispers) Got some more friends up ahead.

Mercenary 1: Sheesh, this whole place is falling apart.

Mercenary 2: Careful, man. You could see the whole building over the edge.

Mercenary 1: Hey, you ever done anything like this?

Mercenary 2: Nah. Overthrown a couple of governments, looted some villages, but this... this is something else.

Mercenary 3: Any news on Tambry?

Mercenary 4: Yeah, some bridge collapsed. They're having to drive around the river. They'll be here soon.

Mercenary 2: Okay gents, stay sharp. Let's keep this job nice and tidy for the boss lady.

(Dipper and Mabel once again make themselves known and engage in a shootout with them. They overcome them due to being more experienced with this kind of fights. Soon, all enemies are defeated and they stop to catch their breath.)

Dipper: Whoa, shit. That's it.

Mabel: For now. We just better keep moving.

(They continue to move along the ruins on the cliff's edge.)

Mabel: Careful... it's a long way down.

Dipper: Yeah, I see it.

(They enter the remains of a building and Dipper opens a door inside. It suddenly comes off and falls off the ledge revealed behind it.)

Dipper: (alarmed) Oh crap! Watch that first step.

Mabel: It's a doozy.

(They carefully scale the side of the building and get higher up.)

Dipper: How you doing back there?

Mabel: It's a hell of a view.

(The duo reaches the roof where there's a wide gap between them and a larger building.)

Mabel: Talk about a high dive.

(They swing over the gap with their ropes and enter the upper floor of the building. There's another gap between rafters on opposite sides of the building's interior and a wall is missing on another side.)

Mabel: Okay... now that?

Dipper: Trust me and follow my lead. Okay?

(He throws his rope to a beam on the ceiling and swings to the other side. He stands on a ledge where the opening is and throws his rope again to a pole above. He swings out of the building and lands on the ledge of the building next to it.)

Mabel: So, do all of that then?

Dipper: Yeah. Something like that.

(Mabel follows her brother and they slide down a muddy slope to the lower floor of the next building. They come out into a large courtyard with fancy walls and balconies around it.)

Dipper: (whistles) We're definitely in the high-rent district now.

Mabel: Not residential, though. What do you think? Some kind of administration building?

Dipper: Probably. Maybe Libertalia had a zoning committee?

Mabel: Yeah... maybe they paid taxes?

Dipper: Who knows?

(They go through a passage on the other side of the courtyard and move under some large debris in their path. Then they get out into the open again and find a shocking and disturbing sight.)

Dipper: (shocked) Holy crap.