Author's Note: Here it is, the chapter you've all been waiting for, enjoy :D
It was an almost ordinary day in the Loud house, which at this point no longer lived up to its name. Since the incident where the Loud sisters had accidentally sent their one and only brother to another dimension by mistake, the Loud parents had forbidden their daughters from doing any of the things that they loved doing as punishment for what they did. The thing that made today slightly different was the fact that Lori was coming over for the weekend due to her now being in college. It was now just after lunchtime and everyone was chatting in the living room. As Lori finished telling everyone about a rather humorous event that happened at college a continuous dinging was heard.
"What the heck is that?" Lori asked, the only response she got was Lisa leaping out of her seat and bolting upstairs.
There was a bit of a pause before they all heard "I FOUND LINCOLN!" like Lisa, the family leaped out of their seats and raced upstairs to her room where they found her uncharacteristically bouncing up and down in excitement. "My machine finally found him!"
"Well, what are you waiting for bruh, open it!" Luna stated, with a simple press of a button a large swirling vortex opened up which Lisa stepped through followed by the rest of her family.
Elsewhere
Like with the Loud family, the Lard family were also having an ordinary day, though for them an ordinary day was typically full of fun and was ironically louder than the Louds now. The Lard sisters were all at home doing the things that made them happy. Lincoln was currently in his room with his friends having an Ace Savvy marathon. Lori was trying to beat all of her high scores on her games. Leni was working on a new experiment. Luna was having some private time with Sam. Luan was working on new material for her performance at the Royal Woods theatre tomorrow night while having Lucy, Lola, and Lisa as her audience. Lynn was in training, seeing how much food she could eat in an entire day and was writing down everything she ate. Lana was watching cartoons while gorging on large amounts of food. Lily was playing games on her IPad. Rita was working on another story. And Lynn Sr. Was looking up different recipes online while seeing if he was able to put his spin on it.
As Leni Lard had just finished her current experiment she heard a whooshing noise. Turning around, she saw a familiar-looking vortex before Lisa came out followed by the rest of her family. When they looked at her and their eyes narrowed, she knew exactly who these people were. "Huh. So I see that you were finally able to get here, and it only took you over a year." Leni Lard looked at her watch "You're a little earlier than I expected. Good for you."
Lynn Loud marched over to Leni Lard and grabbed her by her lab coat
"Alright, you walking sack of pork! Give us back our brother right now!" She demanded, Leni Lard just smiled
"Of course, I won't stop him" she then raised her watch to her mouth and held a button before saying "attention everyone, please stop what you're doing and come to my room immediately," she said before lowering her arm.
A few seconds later they heard a knock on the door, Leni Lard opened it to reveal her older sister Lori "hey what's wrong Leni?" She asked as more family members started to gather
"I would like you all to meet some people" she then closed the door and moved to the side as a large swirling vortex appeared in front of it.
"Oh. My. God" Lori Loud muttered as she saw a giant lump of fat with 'her' face perched atop it lumber in with the vortex disappearing behind her. Everyone got equal looks of surprise and shock as the door opened and they saw their alternate selves for the first time. Lincoln and his friends were the last ones to enter the room, with his friends getting equal looks of surprise and confusion, the first one to speak was surprisingly Sid.
"You made thin clones of you and your family?" she questioned
"No Sid, these are Lincoln's original family" Leni Lard explained, hearing this, Lincoln made his way to the front of the group
"LINCOLN!" his old family shouted before they all rushed at him and embraced him in a massive family hug…and he did not look happy about it.
"Could you all please let go of me" he more or less demanded in a cold tone, this surprised the Loud family, but none the less they complied "why are you here?" he asked
"Because we're here to take you home, duh," Lynn Loud said
"Really? well it didn't seem like you wanted me around before when you sent me here"
"Lincoln, I am sorry, I simply meant to teleport you outside into a pile of leaves, but instead I used the wrong device and sent you here by mistake" Lisa Loud confessed
"Well then I have to thank you for sending me to my wonderful new home"
"What do you mean your wonderful new home sweetie?" Rita Loud asked
"Well, sorry to disappoint you lot, but I'm not going back with you to your dimension. This is my home now and I love it here. I have amazing sisters, wonderful parents who always have time for me, and awesome friends" the Loud family were gobsmacked by what Lincoln had just said.
"But son, your home is with us?" Lynn Loud Sr. stated
"Not anymore it's not...sir" The man who had been his father recoiling at the all too formal title.
"Look Linc we're sorry for what we did, we were totally in the wrong for what happened to you. The lying, the payback pranks, and sending you here, it was all our fault" Lynn Loud stated
"Wow, you admitting fault, that's probably a first"
That hit a nerve with her "I get that you're angry, but don't push it"
"He has every right to push it," Luna Lard said as she stepped forward.
"Especially after all of the crap you've put him through. I can't believe there's a version of myself who can be such a bully" Lynn Lard said as she too stepped forward.
"Watch it tubbo. I'm not a bully!" Lynn Loud exclaimed
"You can be sometimes bruh," Luna Loud said with some of her sisters agreeing.
"So what makes these fat pigs better than us?" Lori Loud asked, wondering how such an immense blob could be better than her.
"Easy there, Lori. In this universe big is considered beautiful. And the bigger you are the prettier."
Lori Loud snorted "So what? People here think that land whale is literally the prettiest girl in town or something?" She snarked at her little brother. Only for her eyes to widen when his expression didn't change? "Seriously?!"
"Literally? Seriously." He nodded "And in general? They all share at least one of my likes, they don't mock me for my interests, we all go to each other for help instead of just me because 'clearly' I have nothing better to do with my time than do what you want, and they're not loud and unruly most of the time." Lincoln stated. While they wouldn't admit it, those were some good points. "You want me to stop? Or shall I go over how they're better than you guys individually?"
"Yeah, I'd like to know how these sweaty lardos are better than us" Lola Loud said, earning a few frowns from everyone. Most of them, save for Lori Lard, not being used to someone finding their weight disgusting.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't call my sisters sweaty lardos. Okay, the things that make my Lori better than you Lori is that she doesn't have anger issues, she isn't on her phone every waking minute, she's a safer driver, she doesn't threaten to twist us into pretzels if she doesn't get her way ('most of the time') and most importantly she doesn't turn into a control freak when mom and dad are out." Lori Loud looked annoyed
"I do not have anger issues" She turned to her sisters. "Right?"
"Uuuuuhhh..." They all trailed off.
"Answer me or I'll literally turn you into oooooohhhhh." Her face puckered as light dawned over her face.
"Ayah." Luna Loud nodded. She hated agreeing again, but her brother wasn't exactly wrong.
"Okay on to Leni. While I like how kind you can be sometimes, and how smart you can be when it comes to making clothes. That's it. If it doesn't involve turning something into clothes, like sayyyy my comics or turning my jeans into a skirt, you're as smart as a toddler. Leni here is like the smartest person in the world. She's like what Lisa could be when she's all grown up and then some, whereas you Leni...how you're in the grade your supposed to be in is an absolute mystery to me" Leni Loud and most of her sisters gasped at that as the girl starts to tear up "I mean for god sake your life's work is a 6 piece kids puzzle, how you manage to make it through school at all is a miracle"
"Seriously? Her life's work is a kids puzzle" Ronnie said before Lincoln's friends and most of the Lard sister's laugh
"Have you gotten her help as I suggested? Or did you just forget everything I said after I left?" Leni Lard asked the Loud parents, their silence and eye aversion pretty much answered her question. "So that's where her brains come from."
"Okay Luna, honestly, besides your different tastes and opinions on music idols, you're pretty much the same so I can't truly say anything bad about you" that made Luna smile a little.
'Well at least I know that I've done somewhat right against him' she thought happily.
Lincoln then looked at Luan Loud "Luan. The thing's that make my Luan better than you are that she's funny and whenever she tells a joke we all laugh instead of groaning at how bad the joke was. She also doesn't make puns at every opportunity. She hates pranks which by extension she doesn't become a sociopath every April Fools day"
"I am not a sociopath!"
"What kind of sane person would more or less force bribe their barely scrapping by father to buy a hotel and land, which would almost put their whole family out on the street? You do realize if we had the money to do that without a problem we wouldn't be living in a house held together with ducktape and prayer." Luan Loud opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out "you had Lana fall into a pit of rhubarb pies. What if her allergy had gotten even more severe with time, allergies do, do that you know. Did you have anything on the premises that would have saved her? And what about Lily? What if your mum hadn't seen her in time? you think that a baby could survive being trapped under enough clothes to trap a full-grown woman?" Luan Loud now had a look of devastation on her face "you only think of the result of your pranks and how funny it is to 'you', never the consequences."
Turning his attention to Lynn Loud he gave a weary sigh "Lynn. Oh boy, where do I even start with this? Well some of the many things that makes my Lynn better than you is that she isn't superstitious, she washes all of her clothes, she loves comics and superheroes, she never insults me, she never forces me to do things that I'm 'supposed' to like as a boy so she can have sparring partner, she admits fault instead of trying place the blame on anyone or anything else. She's more hygienic than you are. She apologized when she realized she was a sore winner instead of ragging on us for being losers. Though I would have to say the absolute best thing is that she's not afraid to show affection to her family members" he said as he put an arm around his Lynn's shoulders which in turn made her hug him. The Lard parents and a few of the older Lard daughters gave warm smiles at this.
"So basically she's a weak, sappy, obese, nerdy version of me," Lynn Loud said with a frown.
Lincoln and his Lynn broke the hug and returned the frowns "oh yeah, and she's also not a pain in the ass like you are"
"What did you just say?!"
"You heard me, and I'm sure many people in your dimension would agree" Lynn Loud then stomped over to Lincoln and grabbed him by his right wrist.
"Alright enough with this crap you're coming back with us right now!"
"You will kindly remove your hand" Lynn glared at him which he returned, "I said, remove it" the Loud family was surprised by Lincoln's cold tone. Lynn was slightly intimidated by this but wouldn't be backing down.
"I said." He grabbed her fingers "Let go." then pulled. To the astonishment of every Loud there, Lynn's fingers offered minimal resistance as they were pried open allowing Lincoln to free his wrist. Lynn launched her other hand to grab his other wrist, only for his palm to catch it. Lynn smirked and pulled...and puuulled...what the? Why can't she pullback?
"Having trouble Lynn?" Lincoln asked coldly.
"What the heck Lincoln? What's the trick with your hands?"
"No trick. I'm just stronger than you."
Lynn paused and looked at him for a moment then start laughing "Yeah, right. You just went from scrawny to fat. You look like the Pillsbury doughboy Stinkoln, there's no way you a..." She trailed off as she noticed his eyes tilting down. The Loud family peered down and looked. Looked at their son/brother's physique. At first, the thought he'd just gotten obese like the rest of these pigs but as Lynn's eyes wandered back up his shoulder that there wasn't one ounce of fat visible along his arm. A bicep bigger than his and Lynn's combined fists strained against his sleeve as his mitt easily kept her hand firmly tight, and they realized what he was bulging with under his shirt wasn't fat. Lynn and her entire clan's minds were spinning as they put two and two together and still couldn't believe they got four.
"Lincoln... you're shredded!" The sports star blurted out at the sight of her brother's muscles. Her bro. Noodle limbed little Lincy was huge! Built! The most muscular guy she'd ever seen! He was more Jacked than Jackie Jackson when he got carjacked by Jaque Jackson in Jacksonville!
"Thanks for noticing."
"Oh, now you have to come home. You'll trample the competition on the middle school football team." Her other hand flicked back up to grab his wrist, thumb pressed right up against were the veins were most visible.
"Back off Loud."
As she yanked on Lincoln's arm a hand grabbed her wrist and moved her sleeve up. Turning she saw Leni Lard holding a gun/syringe filled with a thick green liquid "and what's that butterball? You so fat you have to start injecting candy straight into your bloodstream?" Lynn Loud asked
"Ha, funny. Do you know what's funny? My Lola asked me about a year ago to invent something that can permanently lower her metabolism so she can gain weight easier. She wants to be as heavy as me, just like her twin. and as you can see its working like a charm" she said with Lola now weighing 310lbs.
Lola Loud went a bit green at this, knowing that someone 'wanted to be' seven hundred pounds was bad enough to her, but to find out that her counterpart wanted that, just made it worse. Lisa eyed the needle warily. "And, that is the formula that would cause such a change in her biology? You injected your little sister with that to make her morbidly obese?" Lisa Loud questioned
"Oh no-no-no. I gave Lola...well think of it like squash. What I gave Lola was like a glass of flavored water" She wiggles the needle "This is the concentrate. I jab somebody with even a little of this and it becomes impossible to even 'look' at food without gaining weight" she then turned her attention back to Lynn Loud and eyes her warily. Lynn now felt a little nervous.
"You try and take away my little brother by force, Lynn, and the only six-pack you'll have will be the folds in your belly!" Lynn Loud instantly let go of Lincoln and backed away to her family, terrified at such a scenario.
"Now then, Lucy? The things that make this Lucy better is that she isn't doom and gloom 24/7. She isn't cynical, she smiles a lot MORE, she isn't obsessed with death and doesn't constantly manage to sneak up on people, and more importantly, she doesn't have me worried all the time that she's going to take her own life!" the Loud family gasped at such a though
"You-you think that I would kill myself?" Lucy Loud asked
"Lucy, you once told me you were upset you had a heartbeat. I mean it's almost impossible for me to tell when you just being goth and when you 'actually' upset. I have 'no idea' what to think about you most of the time. You act like you barely have emotions, to begin with. So yes I thought you would." Lucy dropped her head at this as she started to consider what her lifestyle might look like to someone looking in.
"Lana. The main thing that makes my Lana better than you is that she loves being clean, whereas you are disgusting!" normally Lana would take that as a compliment, but at the moment she knew that Lincoln meant that in a negative way.
"Really? What about her?" She nodded towards her engorged counterpart. "You telling me she isn't covered in cake most of the time?"
"Yes." He said bluntly "Because she's not. None of the girls are, because despite their size none of them cram food down their throats as they'll never eat again." He looked down at his biggest little sister, who smiled back up at him "She works with machines and oil all day and she still stays sparkling clean. You play in the garbage, you eat garbage, you do everything you can to avoid being clean, and you keep stuff that you find down the drain" the family, 'both' families and Lincoln's friends all felt queasy at hearing that. "oh and more importantly, my Lana doesn't bring wild and dangerous animals home. I get you like animals, but most people don't bring home every frog, lizard, skunk, and freaking python they find outside!"
"Hi, there" everyone turned and saw the two Lola's interacting "my names Wowa, what's your name?" Lola Lard asked her counterpart while sticking out her hand, Lola Loud raised a brow
"Uh Lola" she replied as she grabbed her counterparts chubby hand
"Oh cool, we have the same name!"
"Lol's" the two Lola's turned as Lincoln moved over to them "the reason that this girl has the same name as you is that she's just another version of you from another dimension"
There was a bit of a pause before "Oh I get it."
"Ugh!" Lola Loud looked like she stepped in something "Tell me how this fat, ugly, retard is more amazing than me" the room went silent for a bit. Everyone, her own family included looking stunned that she'd use the 'r' word. Lincoln held his hand to keep from doing something he'd regret
"Don't you EVER call her that again you little brat!" Lincoln almost snarled in the blonde little pageant queens face. Lincoln then kneeled next to his now crying little sister "it's okay Lola, you're not an ugly anything, you're a sweet wonderful little girl, and she's an ugly little witch" Lola Lard giggled at that and hugged her brother. Lola Loud's family however didn't respond, feeling that she deserved that. "The things that make this little Princess better than you is that she's kind and helpful. She doesn't blackmail or threaten people to get whatever she wants. She doesn't throw tantrums when she loses a contest. And she isn't obnoxiously vain" he then gave his Lola a peck on the head and stood back up.
"Okay on to Lisa, the things that make my Lisa better than you is that she doesn't see her family as Guinea pigs for her to use in her experiments. She doesn't try to prove how smart she is by using big words, because she knows how to act like a kid and not a tiny boring adult. She shows her emotions. She doesn't do experiments that result in mutations, hair loss, and losing her teeth. She doesn't keep her own or other people's stool samples"
"Ew seriously?" Lisa Lard questioned
"Yes, it's disgusting"
"That's putting it lightly"
"For clarity brother unit. My study of stole is an efficient in and non-invasive method of tracking our collective health." She corrected him astutely, only to shy away when everyone shot her a flat look.
"Thats not invasive to her?" Leni Lard mumbled.
"Oh yeah and if she does do something wrong, she doesn't erase or change peoples memories"
"W-what do you mean?" Lisa asked slightly nervously
"Don't play dumb, Leni restored my memories of the spring break where you took me into your bunker and performed all kinds of experiments on me while altering everyone's memories so that they thought that I was at a spring camp" the Loud family gasped at this
"Lisa, you didn't" Rita Loud questioned, Lisa just lowered her head and nodded
"You want to know what she 'does' consider invasive? You removed nearly all of my organs and replaced them with synthetic ones, all without anesthesia so that you could register my pain levels. Thank god Leni had some spare ones she made otherwise I wouldn't be alive right now due to the synthetic ones you made for me crapping out to the point where they no longer functioned"
"The way he looked that night was something worthy of a horror movie," Lynn said as she could still see his blood-covered face as clear as day
"I-I thought if you didn't remember then everything would be optimal." Lisa tried to explain herself "I didn't anticipate the organs would cease to function after a period. If I had been aware of the flaws in my designs I assure you I would not have proceeded with the operation!" She was starting to hyperventilate "Lincoln is there anything I can do to even remotely make up for what I did," she asked while looking at her feet
"Yeah, look at me" Lisa raised her head only to see a burst of stars as Lincoln's fist took up her field of visions. Stopping just as it brushed against the tip of her nose. The shock causing her eyes to roll up into the back of her head as she passed out "I'd beat you up for what you did to me but I'm not about to pummel a little girl no matter how much you deserve it."
"Uh she's unconscious Lincoln," Leni Lard said
"Ah, she can still hear things"
"Now onto Mr. and Mrs. Loud, overall, you're disgraces for parents" Lynn Sr and Rita Loud gasped at that "it's because your so slack with your kids that most of the negative stuff I just listed has happened"
"Now so-" Lynn Loud Sr. started
"Don't. I am no longer your son, I am their son"
"Lincoln, we've tried our best to be great parents to you and the girls," Rita said
"Great parents huh? Tell me what kind of great parents would be okay with locking their son outside and then force him to wear a squirrel suit for over a week straight"
"Okay I admit that that wasn't our best moment"
"What kind of great parents would hide in their room while their daughters put the whole house into lockdown just because two of them are fighting over a dress" Lincoln then focused his sole attention to Lynn Loud Sr. "I came to you many times in the past when I had problems with these girls, but you just told me to 'take it like a man'" Rita Loud whacked her husband on the back of the head "well maybe I'd know how to act like a man if I had a dad that acted like one! Oh, wait" He looks up at Lynn Lard Sr. "I do."
"Lily…well you're the only case where I'd prefer you over…that thing," he said while pointing to his Lily who gave a mischievous/ evil laugh "well now that I've made it clear that this is my home now and I'm staying here *turns to the Lard family* you guys can say anything that you've wanted to say to them"
"But Lincoln, what about Lily? If you leave, she'll never get to see her big brother again" Lana said as she tried to persuade her brother to stay
"Sure she will. When she's older and realizes what her family is like, she can use a portal herself to come here and be with a real family"
"What about your friends Linc? I heard from Giggles that they've fallen apart without you" Luan said
"Yes I'm aware of most of their situation's, however as you can see I have also made friends here as well"
"So you're just going to abandon your old friends?"
"Well from what I know, Clyde is in a place where he can get help, Stella has new friends that care about her, and if Rusty, Zach, and Liam are going to do something to Stella that would make her not want to talk about it, then I don't want anything to do with them"
"Wait, how do you know that?"
"Because when Leni here builds something, it's not a crapshoot about whether or not it will work or explode. I went back to your dimension for a few hours a few months ago. I took Luna and her band to get some music that doesn't exist in our dimension"
"Ha she got more than just some." Luna Loud said
"Lincman here is the best dang friend any fella could ask for," Liam said as he put an arm around Lincoln's shoulders.
Stella then came around to Lincoln's other. The Loud girls boggling as the site or this version of the Pilipino girl, and feeling more than a touch self concious "I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for Lincoln. I've been bullied relentlessly throughout my entire school life. The day that Lincoln came to our school was the day I was planning on killing myself. If he hadn't have come and sat down with me during that first lunch, I would have ended it there and then. I owe him my life"
While Stella had told this to her friends, the Lard sister's were shocked to hear this.
"Lincoln was the first guy who wanted to be our friend, despite our reputation of being silly and weird," Sid said as she and Ronnie Anne stepped forward.
The Loud family (Lori the most) were surprised at the two girls' physiques "my god, your ass is huge" Lori Loud said, Ronnie Anne just grinned.
"Thanks, I do take good care of my figure"
"That wasn't a compliment"
"It is in this reality" Ronnie smirked.
"Ugh I thought fat people stunk from all the sweat stuck in their rolls, but you smell like that stuff Lola uses" Lincoln turned and saw the two Lana's interacting
"First off that's a misconception, the second I smell the way I do because I'm very hygienic, I take 3 showers a day… and I took a pill Lisa made that can change BO for a year" she then took a deep whiff under her armpit "ah, lilac. And third, when in the name of Asimov did you last have a bath?! You reek!"
Lana lifted her pit and took a deep whiff "Hey I don't smell bad"
"You're right, you smell 'terrible'! Were you rolling around in a dumpster and dog poop"
"No, I was not rolling around in dog poop, just the dumpster."
"And you allow her to do that?" Rita Lard questioned her counterpart
"Well we've just gotten used to her playing in the garbage that we figured her playing in dumpsters wasn't that bad" Rita Loud replied
"Wasn't that bad?! Are you insane?! Dumpsters and waste containers in general are serious health hazards. Even if she has a killer immune system what if she cuts herself on some broken glass, or gets a used needle jabbed into her? She could die, and it would be all your fault because you didn't curb her disgusting behavior!"
Rita Loud felt her blood freeze at the thought. Lana hardly ever got sick but she hadn't considered what other dangers could be in the trash. The idea that her daughter could get seriously hurt, let alone her being mostly responsible for it, she then hung her head in shame.
"From the things our son has told us about you two, it's amazing that you haven't had your kids taken away from you," Lynn Lard Sr. said to his counterpart, Lynn Loud Sr. hung his head in shame as well while also being secretly envious of his counterpart's physique.
Luan Lard got a slight frown on her face as she wheeled up to her counterpart "okay, from what Lincoln's told me about you, I can confidently say this, you're not funny AT ALL" she said
"What are you talking about? I am funny" Luan Loud questioned
"How is using actual explosives in a prank funny"
"Uh"
"How is messing with someone's feelings funny?"
"Well"
"How the hell is scaring your entire family every April fools day funny?"
"Um"
"See you're not funny, all you tell are dad jokes and if anything, you should be tossed in the loony bin"
"I am funny!"
"Oh yeah, hit me with a joke"
"Okay then, what has four wheels and flies?"
"A garbage truck"
"Oh so you heard that one"
"Yeah, and it wasn't funny the first thousand times I heard it"
"Alright then wheels, you tell me a joke"
"Hmm let's see...oh okay then, there's a group of guys on the edge of a cliff one of them is holding a budgie, he jumps off the cliff and falls to his death. The next one is holding a hen, he jumps off the cliff and falls to his death. The next one is holding a parrot, he jumps off the cliff, shoots it, and falls to his death. Then the last guy says maybe I shouldn't try budgie jumping, hen gliding, or parrot shooting" everyone burst out laughing at that "thank you, I'm here all week"
Luan Loud forced down the urge to laugh. Refusing to give her the satisfaction of finding her funny.
"If you plan on making your career based on dad jokes, then your career is going to be over before you even get on the stage" Luan Lard stated
"Well at least I can fit on a stage"
"That implies you'll ever be up on one." She shot back. Making Luan glare. "If your audience isn't laughing, then you need to change your material, it's comedy 101," Luan Lard said, making her thin counterpart scowl at her "From what I hear you'd be a better performer than a straight up comedian, at least then you'll get some recognition"
"Well at least I'm not so fat that I can't walk"
"Seriously? You see my nearly three quarters of a tonne sister moving around like her gut is full of helium. What makes you think that I'm too fat to walk?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe the fact you're in a wheelchair"
"For your information, I'm paralysed, and have been since I was five after I was impaled on a screwdriver when the treehouse we were building collapsed"
Luan Loud's face turned red "...oh sorry"
"It's fine. I mean you don't stop to think if your jokes are funny before you use them. Why would I expect you stop to think about anything else?"
Luan Loud looked about trying to find a way out of the hole she dug herself "Oh well, uh hey. If big is beautiful in this world then Benny must think your cute right?"
Luan Lard shrugged her shoulders "Oh he did. But he thought the girl he cheated on me with was even cuter." The whole Loud family winced as Luan just dig herself deeper.
"...Sorry again."
"It's alright. If he hadn't dumped me I wouldn't have met Maggie."
Luan Loud looked back up. Maggie? That Maggie? "You with that Emo girl?" She asked sounding more surprised about what girl she was dating than the fact she was dating a girl at all.
"Well, she's not emo here. Want to see?" Luan Lard asked before opening a picture on her phone to show her counterpart. Luan examined the photo and admitted it was a cute couple photo. Two smiling girls mugging for a shot. Looking happy. She almost didn't think this was the same Maggie but she could see...
The phone dropped from her grip and back into Luan Lard's grip. The wheelchair-bound girl smiled.
"Cute isn't she?"
"..."
Luan Lard brought up her fingers "A three. A Two a one and..."
"Is this a joke?!" The wannabe comedian squawked.
"Nope."
"Luan?" Lori Loud asked, "What's wrong."
"It has to be!" She insisted "There's no way those are real!"
"Real as the ground beneath you."
Lori Loud grabbed her sister's shoulder "Luan what's wrong?" She asked as she angled the phone back up to see whats..."Oh no freaking way those..."
"Not photoshop. Not balloons. Not a costume. Not implants. Those are a hundred percent real."
Rita and Lynn Loud Sr both looked at each other. Was she talking about...?
"Oh, that's poor girls' spine."
They looked to Luna Loud, who wiped a red trail away from her nose at the site of the picture.
"...How?" Luan Loud breathed out. "How lucky can you get?"
"Lucky enough that our brainbox sister was able to turn the giant tumours in her chest sucking the life out of her to grow bigger into healthy tissue just before they killed her. I'd say pretty dang lucky."
"I'm...gonna stop talking now."
"Great. Any more and you'd strike oil."
Lucy Loud walked up to her counterpart "so I take it by your attire that you're into gardening or something?" she asked her obese counterpart
"Yep," she said proudly with a huge smile
"So you never discovered Grandma Harriet's poetry books?"
"Yeah I found them, but I couldn't read her handwriting at the time, so I read the gardening books she had instead and became hooked on gardening" Lucy Loud remembered the gardening books. Grandma Harriet used them to help her grow certain plants for certain spells, she'd tried but just didn't have the patience. Apparently this version of her did the opposite, reading the gardening books but didn't care for their great grandmother's poetry. "you know you look like a shorter version of Lydia"
"Who's Lydia?"
"Our cous…oh yeah she doesn't exist in your dimension same, with Justin"
"And who're their parents?"
"Aunt Ruth and uncle Steven"
"That troll got married?!" Lucy Loud exclaimed before slapping her hands over her mouth, this had caught the attention of everyone
"Yeah Lincoln did say your version isn't good looking, do you have a picture of your aunt Ruth?" Lucy Loud then pulled out her phone and scrolled through her pictures until she found a picture of Ruth and showed it to her counterpart, needless to say, Lucy Lard, recoiled.
"Wow, that is just ugh, hey guys, come and see what aunt Ruth looks like in their dimension," Lucy Lard said, the Lard family gathered around and had the same reaction as Lucy.
"Wow, no wonder your Ruth's still single. She looks like a foot." Lynn Lard said Rita Loud frowned at this
"I know my aunt may not be the most attractive woman out there, but I would appreciate it if you didn't insult her"
Lincoln then pulled out his phone and found a picture of his aunt Ruth who was also with her husband and kids "well Mrs. Loud, this is what my aunt Ruth looks like along with her family" he said as he showed her and the rest of her family
Luna Loud whistled "Holy moly, the aunt Ruth here is a fox" she said with her dad nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, I admit I was floored when I first saw her. That's my uncle Steven and those are my cousins, Lydia and Justin" he then scrolled through the photos again and showed them another picture "this is aunt Shirley, uncle Jack, and their kids, Ada, Jane, and Mabel" the Loud's were taken aback by this.
"Well, all I can say is, good for them for finding someone," Rita Loud said with her husband agreeing.
The two Lily's were now standing in front of each other giving their counterpart looks up and down "you need to lose/gain weight!" they said in unison and then frowned "I don't need to gain/lose weight, you need to lose/gain weight" they said in unison before growling. Lily Lard then swung her chubby fist and hit her thin counterpart in the face. Before anyone could intervene Lily Loud pounced on her overweight counterpart and the two started fighting. Thankfully the fight didn't last long as Lisa Lard zapped the two with a stasis beam, freezing them in place Lincoln then pulled his Lily off of her thin counterpart and placed her down a fair distance away. Lisa then zapped both Lily's again, unfreezing them. Lily Lard was slightly confused as to what just happened, but her confusion instantly turned to fear as she realized that 'not a sister' was looming over her. Since Lincoln had started bulking up Lily had been finding herself getting more and more scared of him.
"Lily if you ever hit someone because of an argument over your weight, so help me I will clobber you into next week, do you understand?" he threatened while raising his fist, Lily just huffed slowly nodded "now go to your room!" he demanded while pointing to Leni's door, causing the little girl to pout and run off. Lincoln took a deep calming breath before exhaling.
"You okay bro?" Luna Lard asked him
"yeah" he replied
"she's a real jerk," Lily Loud said angrily
"no argument here," Lincoln said
Luna Loud awkwardly made her way over to Lincoln "so bro, besides the terror tot, how's your life here?" she asked
Glad at a change of topic, he smiled "Beyond fantastic"
"May I see how your life here is?" She asked
"Sure, anyone else wants to come and see how good my life is here?" He asked
Several of his ex-sisters were interested to see how else this place was better than there's, though hearing that brought Lynn Loud to her limits "you know what Lincoln, screw you, screw you and your new perfect life" and she punched him in the stomach. As she turned around to head back through the portal she was grabbed by the collar of her jersey and the hem of her pants and picked up "what the hell are you doing Stinkcoln?" Lincoln's grip tightened at that
"I detest that nickname, as for what I'm doing, I'm tossing out the trash" and with that, he threw Lynn through the portal.
Dusting off his hands, he picked up Lily (who giggled) and rubbed some of her sore spots before he exited Leni's room with several of his ex-sisters as well as his new sisters following, he told his friends that they could go back to his room and that he'd join them in a while. The girls were in awe the second they entered the hallway "holy crud, you live in a mansion?!" Luna exclaimed
"Yep," and he showed them around the mansion, while his friends headed back to his room.
Lincoln stopped at a window "that's the backyard as well as Lucy's garden and greenhouse"
"Wow, its beautiful" Leni Loud said with her sisters agreeing
"Forget a green thumb, you've got green hands," Luan Loud said, earning a few laughs which made her give her counterpart a smirk
"I stand by what I said," Luan Lard said. Not wanting an argument to break out Lincoln continued the tour.
Lori Loud hadn't been one of the people to go on the tour, instead, she had chosen to stay in Leni's room and talk with her counterpart "So besides being the prettiest girl in town, what else makes you better than me" She snarked.
"I've never claimed to be better than you, it's just Lincoln's perception of me compared to you"
"Okay then, how else are you different from me?"
"Well given the fact it's been a year since Lincoln last saw you I don't know how accurate this is. For one, I never got together with that asshole Bobby" Lori Loud gasped at such an insult towards her boyfriend.
"Don't you dare call my booboo bear an asshole!"
"I didn't, I called the one here an asshole"
"And what makes your Bobby an asshole?"
"Well for one he called me an ugly blob when I went to ask him out" Lori Loud frowned at that "he's one of the few guys in town that hates fat women, even his own mom and sister" okay now that was merit for her to call him an asshole "he doesn't support his sister or mother at all when they're doing something, heck Lincoln almost decked him after he insulted the whole lot of them, it's also because of him Lincoln hasn't gone over to Ronnie's house since" Lori Loud was now surprised that such a sweet guy in her dimension could be such a jerk here "from what Lincoln's told me, your Bobby sounds like a really sweet guy and you're lucky to have someone like that"
"Thank you. So do you have a boyfriend?"
"Nope, still single, though my job and online studies keep me busy"
"so you don't go to college?"
"Nope, they can't accommodate someone of my size."
'No surprise there' Lori Loud thought "where do you work?"
Lori Lard beamed at that "I run and own my own my own mini-golf course" she said proudly, Lori Loud was surprised at that
"Wow, that was one of my dreams for the future, good to know that there's a version of me that reached it"
"It was thanks to Lincoln that I was able to get the park"
"How's that?" Lori Lard then began telling her thin counterpart the events that led up to her owning her mini-golf course.
Lisa Loud regained consciousness only to see her fat counterpart standing above her "welcome back to the land of the living" Lisa Lard said before laughing
"I fail to see what's so humorous about someone regaining consciousness"
"Wow, Lincoln was right, you don't have a sense of humour"
"Humour is just a waste of time. During your Leni's first visit to my dimension, she stated that you are very smart, may I observe and judge how high your intelligence is compared to mine?"
"Okay, but first I'm going to repeat that last part the way a normal person, like my sister Leni, would say it. When your Leni first came to my dimension, she said that you are very smart, may I see how your smarts compare to mine?" Lisa Loud just gave her counterpart a blank look "well follow me to my room…I'm also keeping my eye on you, especially after what you did to my brother" Lisa Loud sighed and followed her counterpart.
When they reached Lisa Lard's room, she opened her door and walked in, followed by her thin counterpart. "welcome to my domain" Lisa Lard said proudly, Lisa Loud looked around in surprise, this was not the type of bedroom she expected a version of her to have. She saw that her counterpart's room was filled with robots, gadgets, and odd-looking toys, but there wasn't any indication that she worked on chemistry.
"I can't help but notice the lack of chemicals in your room"
"Yeah, biology and chemistry never really interest me, that's something Leni is more into. I prefer making toys and gadgets" she said as a dog that looked identical to Charles came up and tried to climb up on Lisa Lard who laughed and rubbed its head affectionately
"I see that you have a Charles in this dimension as well?" knowing what her thin counterpart was talking about, Lisa Lard explained
"This isn't the 'Charles' that you know, this is a robot I made"
"That's a robot?!"
"Yep" she then parted the fur on the dogs back revealing a small zipper which she opened up revealing a small area where batteries could be placed "it's a robotic skeleton with dog level AI programming in it which is surrounded by artificial skin and fake fur that's filled with ballistic gel to make it seem as lifelike as possible" Lisa Loud was stunned by how realistic the dog was, this also raised another question though
"Why are you using such genius to make whimsical toys instead of things that could change the world for the better"
"Because that doesn't interest me, I make things for fun, not for gain. Technically I do sometimes make things that can be mass-produced, like this little guy. This way people can have realistic pets even if they're allergic to animals" Lisa Loud looked to the side and walked over to what looked like a giant metal spider
"Dare I ask what this is?"
"That's my Masspider I made"
"And what is it's a primary function?" Lisa Lard rolled her eyes at her counterpart's use of big words.
"Put your arms up and stand still" Lisa Loud complied with her counterpart's orders as she picked her Masspider and placed it on her thin counterparts back and pressed a button on it. When she did the legs clamped around Lisa Loud's body and it began vibrating while rollers covered by a thin rubber sheet began massaging her back while the rubber pincers massaged her neck
"Oh this is so good," Lisa Loud said happily
"Yep, and that's just another one of the many things I've made for fun, something which you need to learn to have"
The two Rita's had started interacting with each other "so, I see that you inherited grandma's hips" Rita Loud said
"Hey your not to far behind yourself. Otherwise, well eleven kids."
"So are you a dentist as well?"
"Pfft no, I gave that up years ago to pursue my writing career"
"And?"
"I've written over fifty novels and each one of them on the best-sellers list" Rita Loud was floored at this. She was barely managing to write one nevermind fifty "Tell me something. What talent does Lincoln have?"
"As far as I know, he doesn't have any particular talent"
"As far as you know, or as far as you care to find out?"
"...what are you getting at?"
"My son is a hell of an artist" points to the side "see that picture" Rita Loud turned and saw a picture that hung up on Leni's wall "he drew that for her birthday, and he completed it in just 2 days" Rita walked up to the picture and saw that it was MuscleFish locking hands with Ace Savvy, the amount of detail in the picture was astounding.
"This is amazing, he drew this?"
"Yes, that is the kind of thing that my son is capable of doing"
"He's not your son, he's mine"
"Well he sees me as his mother and he doesn't seem like he wants to go back to your dimension any time soon. Maybe if you and your family had treated him as an equal, he would want to come back to you" Rita Loud hung her head at that.
The Lynn Sr.'s had also started interacting, though Lynn Lard Sr. seemed a lot more hostile "So, this is kind of awkward" Lynn Loud Sr. Stated
"Not really, I thought Lincoln was exaggerating when he was describing your appearance, but now I can see that he was spot on." Lynn Loud Sr. frowned at this "what kind of man lets his children walk all over them? haven't you ever put your foot down to stop something"
"Of course I have"
"Really? Then why do you let your daughter Luan terrorize your family every April Fools day?"
"Well we decided to let her get it all out of her system for one day"
"At the expense of the rest of your family's safety and wellbeing?"
"We don't let her do anything dangerous with her pranks"
"So actual explosives don't count as anything dangerous?"
"Uh well…"
"When Lincoln had his first April Fools day here he was too scared to leave his room for the first half of the day, and then when he finally came out to have lunch, he freaked out when he saw Luan, and he used Luna as a human shield. Luan then decided to spend the rest of the day and night in her room. Because you let that sociopath get away with so many dangerous pranks, my son is now traumatized"
Lynn Loud Sr. sighed "okay I admit I won't be winning father of the year anytime soon, but my wife and I have started becoming stricter with our kids since Lincoln was sent here"
"Good, at least you're learning"
"Yeah…so, you own your restaurant as well?"
"No, I own a chain of restaurants, globally"
Lynn Loud Sr. was stunned by this "but how?"
"Well I was going to originally take a nice safe job in I.T so that I'd be able to provide for my family, but instead I decided to take a risk and I opened my first restaurant just before Lori was born. And after a few more successes and a few more risks I'm now where I am today instead of living in that little crap shack we started in"
Lynn Loud ran his hands over his dome "I lost my hair worrying about this family. Playing it safe. And here I find out that if I'd gambled it all I would have won big. This is like not doing the lottery one week and finding out this is the time your numbers came up"
Lynn Lard gave him a comforting smile "Well you might just be starting up later than I did, and maybe in the future, you'll be as successful as me"
"*sigh* by the time that happens, it will be too late to give my kids everything I wanted to give them. My kids deserve to have grown up in a mansion, not wait until they're all out on their own to see their dad strike it big after growing up in a 'crap shack' as you put it"
"Well you've still got a few years before your Lily leaves so who knows, you might strike it big before then" Lynn Loud Sr. just gave his counterpart an annoyed look.
Lynn Lard Jr. had mostly been just listening to the conversations going on in the room. She was about to head back to what she was doing previously where she realized that the portal was still open, she then looked at her sister Leni "hey Len, mind if I check out their dimension"
"Sure, go ahead," Leni said casually and Lynn walked through, emerging in a foreign bedroom.
"Whoa the smell of chemicals in here is almost nauseating," she said and she quickly exited the room. Entering the upstairs hallway she was surprised at how small the place was "man it must be cramped living in this place" she then heard someone quickly coming up the stairs turning, she saw her bully of a counterpart
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"I was curious as to what this dimension is like"
"Well now you know so get lost"
"Nah I don't think I'll be doing that"
"Fine, just don't get in my way" Lynn Lard complied and walked to the side to see the other bedrooms.
Lynn Lard was shocked at not just the fact the bedrooms were smaller but also that most of them were shared "man this is weird, and they all share one bathroom, that's insane" she said before she entered what she guessed was Luna and Luan's room. As she entered she instantly spotted Mr. Coconut's, causing a shiver to run down her spine. That creepy puppet always creeped her out when she was younger and it made Lucy cry which prompted Luan to get rid of hers. Seeing a book on the bottom bunk she curiously picked it up and saw that it was a self-made jokebook, made by this Luan. The jokes written in it were so cringy that she had to stop after reading just 3 "wow, I've seen and heard bad jokes before, but this is just atrocious. I've gotta show Luan this" and she took the book with her. As she exited the room she raised a brow as she saw her counterpart hauling a bedsheet, which had been made into a makeshift sack, over her shoulder before heading downstairs. Seeing that the door at the end of the hallway was another room, she walked towards it. When she entered, she remembered Lincoln saying that he used to live in a closet "Jesus! He lived in this little thing?! You couldn't swing a mouse in here!" she said before she realized that something was off, the room was completely bare, save for a stripped bed and an empty open chest of draws "wait…she wouldn't…" Lynn then heard the sound of a very loud lawnmower.
Quickly heading downstairs stopping as she saw that a picture between her counterpart and her sister Lucy's counterpart was missing. When she reached the back door she saw a shocking sight. Lynn Loud was tossing all of Lincoln's things into a huge mulcher. Comics, drawings, toys, photos, anything that was related to Lincoln was being shredded as a furious Lynn kept rapidly tossing everything in as fast as she could. Lynn Lard wanted to stop her but she had used a chair to prevent the backdoor from being opened. Slapping her forehead, Lynn Lard raced around to the front door and exited the house before making her way to the backyard.
By the time she reached there, however, there was only one item left, Bun-Bun. "ha Lincoln used to love this thing with all of his heart well like with the rest of his stuff, it's mulch" but before the could toss it in, she was rammed hard, and sent flying with Bun-Bun falling to the ground. Lynn Loud angrily got up and saw her obese counterpart turning off the mulcher before she glared at her
"What do you want tubbo?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! You've destroyed nearly everything that showed that Lincoln ever existed here!"
"Yeah, so what? If that bastard doesn't want to be with this family anymore, then we don't need him or any of his crap here!" Lynn Lard walked up to her thin counterpart until her gut pressed up against Lynn Loud's abs "are you trying to intimidate me tub-" *WHAM* with just one swing of her chubby fist, Lynn Lard's fist had driven into her thin counterparts forehead. Sending her head over heels away. Lynn Loud groaned and pulled herself back up then grinned. "Oh you have no IDEA how much you just screwed up."
"Bring it loser."
Lynn Loud froze.
"What did you call me?"
Her fat counterpart smirked and recalled an incident Lincoln told her about "Lo-ser. What are you deaf as well as stupid?"
"You...you...rrrrRRRAAAGGHH!" Lynn Jr. charged her counterpart like a mad bull and crashed into her gut trying to knock her to the floor. Lynn Lard grunted but held her ground, wrapping her arms around her athletic other selves before she calmed down enough to start swinging.
"I am not a loser!"
"Yes, Lynn you are! You're a loser who'd rather blame bad luck than admit the other guy was just 'better' than you. You wasted your life caring more trophies instead of caring about your brother" She grunted while her skinny other self was trying to kick her in the stomach to no avail.
"My trophies are actually worth something! Hows a statue saying you ate more hot dogs than anybody else gonna get you anywhere in life?!" She growled before deciding to go after the one unpadded place on her obese self's frame and headbutted her. Lynn Lard let her go to grab her face and stumbled back. Lynn Loud grinned in satisfaction before turning back to the wood chipper. One last thing left to shred. She picked it up, pulled her arm back, and...a meaty fist wrapped around her forearm.
Lynn Lard winced as she felt her nose. Sore but not broken. With a grunt, she pulled back and dragged Lynn Loud backward. Lynn stumbled before catching herself. She turned and pulled back out of...her...gr...again?
"Oh come on! You look like you have bacon grease instead of blood! How can a lazy tub of crap like you be this strong?!" She yelled while kicking at the side of the girl's knees trying to dislocate them.
Lynn Lard grunted but grinned "You think because we're fat that we're weak? How the hell do you think we can carry all this in the first place?!" Then to prove it with one final heave she pulled Lynn off her feet and, to repay the favour reeled back and drove her skull into the athletes.
There was a loud smacking sound as the girl in her arms went limp. Lynn Lard smirked...then grabbed her forehead and bit her lip "How am I so strong? How can 'you' have a thicker skull than me?"
Mildly dizzy she checked to see if her counterpart was alright. Hearing a groan she walked over to her brother's most prized possession, she picked it up and dusted it off before heading back inside through the backdoor this time. She was mentally kicking herself for not doing anything earlier, but what's done is done…unfortunately. Forgetting about the rest of the house she returned to her dimension just as Lincoln had returned from the tour, as well as the Lisa's. She couldn't help but notice that nearly all of his ex-sisters looked super jealous. "Well now that you've seen how much better my life is here, and as I previously stated that I'm not going back with you lot *puts Lily down* you might as well take your leave" the girls were mostly hurt by this, but the ones with more sense understood that he didn't need them because he had arguably better versions of them to treat him like a brother and look after them.
Luna Loud pulled Lincoln into a hug "I'll miss ya bro"
"I know, but I'm sure you'll get over me soon" and he gave her a quick hug in return. The rest of his ex-sisters gave him hugs as well and some even begged him to come back, but he simply didn't even acknowledge their presence. The Loud parents gave one final plea to their son to come back to them, but at this point, Lincoln was sick of all of the pleading and simply pointed to the still-open portal. With their head's hung in sadness they all went back through the portal which closed up shortly after.
Lincoln sighed at this and his father squeezed his shoulder. Lincoln turned and hugged his dad "I love you dad"
"I love you to son" he returned it with everyone else joining in on the hug. Lincoln gave another sigh at this, only this one was a sigh of content. When they all broke apart everyone began heading back to what they were doing before the Loud's arrived, however, Lincoln was stopped by Lynn
"Hey Linc, I think this belongs to you," she said before presenting Bun-Bun. Lincoln's eyes widened
"Oh my god, Lynn! Thank you so much!" he said as he held her tight and kissed her on the cheek
"Anything for my little brother," she said and she returned the hug and kiss.
When they let go, however, Lynn frowned "what's wrong Lynn?"
"That bitch that you threw through the portal, destroyed everything remotely related to you by tossing it in a mulcher. She was about to toss Bun-Bun in as well but I stopped her and knocked her out" Lincoln was now floored at this. He knew Lynn Loud to be a reckless hothead sometimes, but to erase every shred of his existence…he could hardly register it "well at least I saved your most prized possession"
"Yeah, thanks," he said before he headed back to his room to be with his friends again. Though she did hear him say "that bitch is irredeemable" right before he was out of earshot, she could only imagine the amount of trouble her counterpart was going to get into.
Author's Note: And there it is, the final chapter, though there will be an epilogue. Huge thanks to Wolvenstrom for beta reading, giving me ideas, and writing the fight scene between the two Lynn's.
Shout out to anyone who catches any of the references, especially the one linked to the first chapter.
Fun fact: Lincoln was originally going to slap Lola for using the 'r' word and he was also going to give Lisa a few swift hits as payback for what she did to him, but I was advised not to do it, given how strong Lincoln now is.