Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to BioWare.
Author's Note: This story does not necessarily follow any particular timeline and may not be considered chronologically accurate.
#
His parents were either asleep or away when Vadix arrived home, after he'd gotten lost—twice—on the streets he knew like the inner workings of his handgun.
It felt like he'd been tased.
And he wasn't sure what was more shocking: what she'd said or what she'd done.
After a fitful night's sleep, as he wouldn't call it 'rest' exactly, the turian awoke with a renewed determination to improve his social skills. Although he'd known for years that he wasn't good with people, until now he'd never wanted to be.
While he got ready for the day, Vadix made a mental list of the things he needed to learn vs. the things he already knew. The latter list was far shorter than the former.
But how to navigate this uncharted space?
As soon as he'd asked himself the question, he knew the answer. It was the answer he always came back to when he was unsure of himself.
Trebaana smiled softly at her son as he entered the kitchen, her mandibles spreading slightly from her face. "Vadix, you were home later than normal last night. Is everything alright?"
He took a seat next to her at the counter. "Yes, though I suppose I should tell you about some recent developments in my life," he mumbled, feeling suddenly guilty for keeping the truth from his parents.
"Oh?" she exclaimed, surprise evident in her raised brow plates and widened mandibles.
Wringing his talons together, the words seemed to escape all at once, "I left my job at C-Sec to join the human Spectre after she recruited me for a mission and now I have a human partner I'm training who is also training me."
Well. That hadn't been so difficult. One sentence just about covered it.
Other than his growing fascination with said human partner.
He glanced at his mother, who gave him a knowing look. "There's something else, isn't there?"
Spirits, how does she always know?
Clearing his throat, Vadix continued, "Er, well, yes, I suppose there is more to it. But wait, you're not upset?" That was the only reason he'd waited so long to tell her. After all, his father had been the main reason he'd been able to get on at C-Sec and this felt almost like a betrayal of that gifted opportunity.
The older and much wiser turian turned to face him, resting her talons on her son's shoulders. "No, of course I'm not upset. I only want you to be happy with who you are. Underneath the worry in your words, I heard ambition and pride in what you're doing now. You've never spoken about your work like that before." Trebaana dipped her head toward the younger turian, encouraging him to keep speaking.
Vadix took a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions. He still couldn't quite believe how well his sudden career-change was being received. "Thank you," he murmured, voice gravelly and subvocals purring. He cleared his throat, not keen to dwell on emotions. "The other thing is that I think I'm—wait, you must promise you won't tell Father!"
Dartius Ramraka was many things, and his son was not entirely sure that xenophobe wasn't on the list.
His mother chuckled and agreed, "Very well. Now tell me what else is going on."
While most men probably would've felt uncomfortable sharing this kind of candor with their mothers, particularly when it came to matters of the heart, yet it was the easiest thing in the galaxy for Vadix. She was the one who knew him best, probably even better than he knew himself.
Confiding in her would be freeing.
He took a deep breath and continued his previous thought in a self-conscious whisper, "I think I'm attracted to this human."
Frowning, the red turian questioned, "The Spectre?"
"Oh no," Vadix hurried to clarify, back to his normal volume. "My new partner, another recruit."
"Ah," his mother's brow smoothed out of her concerned expression. "Good. While superior-subordinate relationships do regularly happen among our kind, I just don't think it's a good idea for you."
It was the white turian's turn to frown, "Why would it be bad specifically for me?"
His mother cradled his head in her palms and smiled sadly, "Because you're my boy, the dearest person in my life. And I couldn't bear it if you were to be hurt."
Puzzled but sensing this was not a sentiment either of them wanted to dig into, Vadix accepted her explanation at face value. "Thanks for always looking out for me, Mother."
"Of course. Now," she continued, back to business with a steely subvocal tone. "Tell me what it is you like about this human. And please give me a gender so I can use the appropriate pronouns."
The younger turian cocked his head, mandibles flaring as he laughed softly. "Yes, I suppose I've somehow managed to keep that a mystery up until now," he snickered. "Her name is Cassana."
"Ooh, what a lovely name," Trebaana hummed. "To have caught your eye after all this time, she must be something special."
Her son made a face. "Why are you emphasizing 'she' like that?"
"Well, you're already 25 years old, Vadix. I was beginning to think you might prefer men to women but were too afraid to tell me," the woman stated without qualms.
Vadix, however, was appalled. "You thought I was gay?" he cried.
"I thought it was possible. You've always been a loner, you know. Whatever gender or species you're interested in is fine with me; I just wanted you to trust me enough to tell me," his mother tried to keep the hurt from her voice but he knew her too well not to catch it, written all over her face as it was.
Placing one hand over hers, resting on the counter, he tried to console her. "I do trust you, more than anyone else in the universe." She perked up slightly, looking at him from the sides of her eyes. "I've just never…" Never what? he wondered. Certainly he'd never felt like this before, and he'd never met anyone quite like this fiery human woman. But then he'd also never wanted to feel like this, never sought to develop relationships beyond what he had with his parents. How much of what he felt was a direct result of her, and how much was a direct result of him?
His mother's words sounded far away. "When did you meet her?"
"Um, let's see…" he trailed off, doing the mental math. "That can't be right. I guess it was only two days ago."
"Oh, Vadix," Trebaana sighed as she rose from her seat. "I do hope you know what you're getting yourself into, though I suspect otherwise."
Cocking his head, Vadix asked, "What do you mean? You think I can't handle myself?"
The female turian paused mid-reach as she began to cook breakfast, contemplating how to answer her son's question. "I know you can handle yourself as a law enforcement officer, anytime, anywhere. But as a man interested in a woman? I'm not convinced."
Vadix could only sit in stunned silence, flabbergasted. His own mother didn't think he was competent.
"Son," she began, seeing the look on his face. After a deep breath, Trebaana continued, "You're so inexperienced in this regard, and I just don't want anyone to take advantage of you. And I understand that this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't prepare you for and protect you from those who would exploit your naivety?"
It felt like he'd been stripped of his armor and strung from the rafters by his elbow ridges. Gutted, that's what he was.
"I'm going for a run," he muttered before storming out the front door.
Nearly a kilometer later, his thoughts settled into a more logical pattern and Vadix felt like he could think straight again. He had no idea where he'd ended up but at least the exercise was a good outlet for all this pent-up steam.
Deep down he knew his mother was right: he had zero experience with women. It would only be too easy for someone to benefit from his ignorance.
But it still wasn't easy to hear his most trusted confidante call him gullible.
Maybe she had a point though.
Vadix had no baseline with which to compare his current experiences. And even if he did, would turian flirting habits be the same as human ones?
Probably not.
After all, what did he have that she could possibly want?
While he was dedicated and hard-working, he had no concept of proper human courtship. Once he understood something, the lesson would stay with him for life, but he learned so slowly it would take months to be anywhere near her level of interpersonal interactions. And his precision in the firing range likely wouldn't carry over into the bedroom.
Not exactly a stellar recommendation.
And anyway, Cassana was always making fun of him. That must be her way of subtly trying to tell him she wasn't interested.
The realization made him feel deflated, like a shrub in the Presidium that tried in vain to cover a shortcut. His only consolation was that he'd realized now, before he'd done anything embarrassing.
Now all he could do was put it out of his mind and accept her offer of friendship—even if he didn't know exactly what that should look like—with no hope for anything beyond that.
#
Waking earlier than normal, Cass felt surprisingly rested. Last night she'd fallen asleep very quickly thanks to a different kind of exhaustion than she normally experienced at the end of any given day. She still felt mortified about having passed out from the mere presence of firearms. After all, her mother's kidnapping had happened twelve years ago. It shouldn't affect her so much.
Before she could delve too far down that emotional rabbit hole, she rolled out of bed and began to fill her bathtub: since she was up before her alarm anyway, might as well take advantage of the unexpected "me" time.
The glass that enclosed her bath/shower combo quickly fogged up as the tub filled with hot water. The bathroom itself was so tiny that when she stepped into the steaming liquid and lay down, Cass couldn't stretch out to her full, albeit average, height. Slowly the water level crept up her body and she reveled in the near-scalding temperature.
It was halfway to her knees when a knock at the door roused her from an almost meditative state.
Maybe they'll just go away, she thought hopefully.
Several solid thuds squelched her unspoken wish.
Although more people than she could easily count had visited her apartment, not many would come looking for her so early in the morning. It was probably her boss, wondering why she hadn't shown up for her regularly scheduled shift last night. And he wasn't the type to leave without getting answers.
Grumbling at the intrusion, she slid the door back and stepped onto the rug, wrapping the lone towel around herself. She had forgotten that she needed to do laundry: all her full-size towels were sitting in the hamper, leaving behind only a too-small towel. It barely reached the tops of her thighs. Yet another rap at the door resounded and she yelled, still further exasperated, "Coming!" She turned off the water, unsure how long this exchange would take.
If he wanted answers, sure, he could get them.
But she wasn't going to play nice about it.
Padding out of the bathroom, the still-wet ends of her hair clinging to her shoulders while the crown of her head was still dry and now frizzy, Cass wrenched the door open, face set in an irritated grimace.
She wasn't sure whose expression morphed into one of shock and alarm first, but in a spit second she was staring at the wide eyes and loose mandibles of her new favorite turian. "Vadix!" she exclaimed, voice pitched higher than normal.
He stared at a point just above her head. "Cassana, er, apologies. Um, so sorry to have, uh, interrupted you. I should've…" The turian trailed off, clearly at a loss, and still unwilling to meet her eyes.
"No, no, it's alright," she hurried to reassure him. "Please, come in. Is everything all right?" Cass asked as she ushered in her new friend. My hair is an absolute disaster; of course this is when he sees me, she winced inwardly.
Vadix took several long strides into her small apartment, nearly to the far wall, and spoke without turning to face her, "No, nothing is wrong. I just, uh, thought I would… That is, I wanted to…" Finally he looked at her again and the human felt her cheeks redden at the raw intensity of his gaze.
I'm wearing nothing but a towel, she suddenly remembered. Normally, being nearly nude made Cass feel powerful. Knowing the effect she could have on others was intoxicating, the sense of complete control it gave her, the trust that had to exist between them.
But, normally, she wasn't in a half-bathed, half-dripping state.
"You wanted to?" she prompted, curious as to his answer while she wondered if he was curious about her body.
Clearing his throat, the turian answered, "I mean, I was going to offer to walk you to work." He turned around once more as he continued, "After seeing where you live, I worried you might run into trouble without an escort."
Cass raised an eyebrow at this, though the turian couldn't see it. "'An escort'?" she repeated, mostly incredulous yet slightly amused. "Vadix, you do realize I've lived in this apartment, alone, for about twelve years, right? I know how to take care of myself." What nerve, she scoffed, wandering back toward her bathroom. As if she needed someone to look out for her. Especially after she had stood up for him last night. "Come on," she called, gesturing for him to follow her.
"Where are you going?"
She could hear the confusion evident in his voice. "The bathroom," she explained, trying not to laugh at his expense. "You interrupted my bath." This was going to make him so uncomfortable, and the thought made her giggle with delight.
From behind, a few slow begrudging steps sounded in her wake. "Erm, can't I just wait out here?"
Turning to face him again, the woman hid her teasing smile before responding, "And do what?"
Vadix glanced around quickly, apparently at a loss for words.
"Exactly," she grinned. "And I detest yelling so you'll need to be as near as possible if we're going to have a conversation."
Cass watched his mandibles flick away from his face a couple times until his head dipped in surrender. "Fine," he muttered. "Only because you insist."
"I do," she agreed contentedly.
With the addition of an alien who had to be at least six feet tall, the miniature washroom seemed to shrink to half its size and Cass realized anew just how small her quarters were. The door to the bathroom was the only one in residence, other the front door. Everything else was situated in the petite main room: a dedicated cooking space was situated between two corners, opposite which sat a table nearly as long as the wall, surrounded by a couple chairs; another corner was taken up by her bed which, admittedly, was the largest piece of furniture in the apartment; and the last corner was the bathroom, with just enough space between the wall and the foot of the bed to open the door.
When the turian stepped into the tiny sub-room, there was next to no space between them. And though the woman didn't mind in the least bit, she suspected her companion was experiencing a whole new level of discomfort. Quickly, she motioned toward the toilet. "Just sit on that," she suggested, beginning to question the wisdom of this scheme. She only wanted to push his buttons a little, not push him inexorably away from her.
Vadix looked from her to the receptacle and back again. "What if I break it?" he queried with a straight face. "It doesn't appear sturdy enough to hold my weight."
Snorting, the human replied, "Well you're too big to fall in so," she shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
His brow plates pulled down into a frown. "What bridge?"
Another snicker escaped her, "Nothing, it's just a figure of speech. Now, sit and close your eyes until I say. I'm getting back in the tub." Shrinking into the corner made by the apartment wall and the glass sliding door, she made room for the turian to make his way to the toilet in the next corner.
His shoulders raised before he dropped heavily onto the lowered lid. "Guess it is solid enough," Vadix murmured thoughtfully as his eyes closed obediently.
Cass unwrapped the towel from her chest and hung it on the wall next to her new friend. She heard him take a deep breath, her sternum inches from his forehead, and her heartbeat crashed.
"You smell nice," he said softly. "But I don't know how to describe the scent."
Her eyes flicked to his still-closed ones and she sighed, half relieved and half disappointed. "Thank you," she offered, unsure if he had intended it as a compliment or simply a statement of fact.
Moving away before she could do something rash, the human stepped back into the slightly turgid water and turned the hot faucet back on. After sliding the glass closed again, she instructed, "You can open your eyes now."
The steam had dissipated from the inside of the door so Cass could clearly see the turian seated mere feet away. His dark eyes opened but didn't look at her, and again she was torn between respect for his continued chivalry and dissatisfaction for his apparent lack of interest.
Apart from the sound of water gushing from the tap, silence stretched between them.
"What time is it?" the human asked, feeling the need to fill the quiet with something other than splashing.
Glancing at his omni-tool, Vadix replied, "Just after seven."
Cassana whistled, then said, "You know, I think you're the first person ever to be in my apartment between 6 am and 6 pm… weird," she thought aloud. "Why did you come so early anyway?"
"Oh," he huffed. "I guess it is rather early, isn't it? Sorry about that. I'd been up for a couple hours and was about to head to the training room, so I figured I'd stop by and see you—I mean, see if you were also going to be heading out soon," the turian hurried to correct himself.
Blushing was definitely a human thing, but if turians had some sort of equivalent, Cass would bet anything that her coworker was doing it right now. Interesting.
Out loud she said, "Damn. You're a morning person, aren't you?" before turning off the faucet.
She watched him cock his head as she squirted soap into her palms to wash her face. "I suppose so," he said slowly. "I've never thought of it like that though. My parents and I are always awake by about 5—last night was the latest I've ever been out actually." He sounded so innocent just then, she nearly giggled again. It was just too adorable.
"What?" Cass exclaimed, hands dropping from her face into the water with a loud splash. "We weren't even out that late! You dropped me off at about 9."
"I know," he replied, embarrassed. "But I accidentally got lost a couple times on the way home, so I didn't get to sleep until nearly 10."
"Vadix, if I had known you were going to get lost I wouldn't have let you walk me home," the woman scolded as she continued to massage the exfoliating beads into her skin.
At this he sat up straighter on the toilet. "Hey now, I know how to get home from just about anywhere on the Citadel! I did grow up here after all," he cried with righteous indignation.
"Then why did you get lost?" she countered.
Now he shrunk slightly in his seat. "I was…distracted," he muttered glumly. Before she could press him further Vadix asked, "So what's your regular morning routine?"
Distracted by me or by something else, she pondered, but answered the turian's question. "I'm normally up by 7 or 7:30, then I'll shower, sometimes I make a little breakfast but usually I just grab something ready-to-go for lunch, and I'm out the door by about 8."
"And when do you normally go to sleep?" he continued questioning.
Cass hummed—stalled—before answering, "Usually by 1 or 2 in the morning. Depending." Scooting forward in the tub, she dipped her head back to submerge her hair completely, the water level covering both of her ears and effectively cutting off his next question, and closed her eyes. She knew what he would ask. It was the same question everyone asked. And she didn't want to tell him what she did so late at night, but she also didn't want to lie.
Part of her wasn't ashamed of who she was, what she believed, and how she acted.
Part of her wished he would connect the dots on his own.
But did she really want him to know?
Maybe he'd simply be too distracted by her legs that were no longer immersed in the water. Or better still, her breasts. The man must be at least somewhat curious about her alien anatomy. With pleasure she stretched her spine, forming a bridge with her upper body, a bridge that was only partially submerged. She brought her elbows closer together behind her back, feeling several vertebrae pop with satisfaction.
Earlier he'd asked "What bridge?" at her use of the human idiom. This bridge, she thought hungrily, is the one I'd like you to cross.
Finally, sitting up again, the woman scrubbed shampoo into her auburn locks, waiting for him to ask the question she must've missed while underwater.
It didn't come.
She looked at him from the corner of her eye, the sliding door now thoroughly foggy. At every turn he shattered her expectations, and for the first time in over a decade she wondered what it would be like to have a true partner, someone to share with and turn to in the ups and downs of life.
Dozens of times Cass had been naked in front of another creature. Yet somehow this naïve turian, only an arm's length away from her and separated by nothing but a thin layer of glass and a soapy tub of water, made her feel more exposed and vulnerable than anyone previously had.
The realization was equally daunting and thrilling.
Unlike any of her previous lovers who had existed on a wide scale of commitment—tipped heavily toward only a matter of hours—this turian man made her question the assumptions she had long ago accepted as fact. After her one and only serious relationship had fragmented with fantastic absoluteness, Cass had woken as if from a daze, picked up the pieces of herself that she could locate, and filled in the gaps with armored notions to protect from further injury.
Now she stood on the precipice of another leap of faith, daring to tempt fate with hope for the future.
But was she up to the endeavor, or would he simply break her beyond the possibility of recovery?