Chapter 13

It has been 5 months since my attack, 5 months of knowing and spending time with Steve. Every time I see him I think he finally could be the one to be the one guy in my life that's not a scumbag but then I revert back into myself and I just know that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've said it over and over again, all men are the same, nothing will my change mind...but then I spend time with Steve and for a moment I am happy and I do feel safe...maybe it's because this friendship thing is working, there is not as much pressure as opposed to dating and he really had become one of my best friends.

When we see each other I can't stop smiling, having the best time and when we part ways I can't stop thinking about him but then it will turn into fear, paranoia and suspicion. I think maybe this is what he wants, to pretend to be my friend and when the time is right he will do something, like some long con. I know I sound crazy but I have seen it all, whether it happened to me personally or even to one of my friends.

It doesn't help either that every time he smiles at me or looks in my eyes this intense energy pulls me to him that terrifies but thrills me all at once and makes me tingle. But how can he feel energy like I do, why would he? I have been so damaged by my father and every other man in my life that I know I am not good enough and will never be good enough. My father told me every day that no one could ever love me, only he could. I guess he was right after all.

Steve and I started a little routine, every Thursday night he picks me up from work and go to either his apartment or mine where we watch one of the movies on his list and most of the time have dinner together. Sometimes we went to see a movie at the theater. I thought it was only fitting for him to see all the manly movies first like Die Hard, Rambo, Predator etc. Now we were in the middle of some 80's/90's classics. I also started to show him some classic t.v shows, we just finished binge watching Lost.

Tonight we went to the theater where they re-released Pretty Woman, I didn't tell him before hand but I hate that movie, sure the acting is good but it irks me every time I watch it. It's also one of those movies I can't seem to turn off when it comes on t.v, I hate it but I'm drawn to it, I don't know why but it makes me angry every time. We decided to walk to the theater tonight, it was a beautiful warm night and the theater wasn't very far away. We were walking back after the movie.

"That was really good." He said happily, I just nodded "Uh uh."

"What?" He asked, "Nothing."

"That was not nothing, tell me what your thinking?" He asked again.

"It's just...I hate that movie." I confessed finally.

"Why would you watch it then?" He asked, "Because you wanted to see it." I answered.

"Why do you hate it?" He asked intrigued.

"It's just so unrealistic, some rich man sweeping you off your feet, getting you away from you Hooker life, and she just happens to change him from being a self-centered workaholic jackass. In the real world, after their first time having sex he would have dumped her back on the sidewalk and looked for the next hooker down the street and never thought about her again."I ranted in one breath. "Sorry, I know you liked it."

"No its..." He was lost for words. "Iris? We've known each other for over 4 months and I've been too nervous to ask you, what did men do to you? What made you think this way?"

"Okay, you really want to know?" I started as he shook his head "Every man in life has been a scumbag, every single boyfriend I've had has either turned into a cheating, lying asshole or a stalker, every one of them promised and assured me that I could trust them and believe that they would never hurt me and guess what? (showing how my right wrist couldn't reach back as far as the left) courtesy of my last boyfriend. I also see it all the time I work, men lying to their wives, hitting on me or someone else while their wives walk away, the amount of times they grope me or try to grab me and they actually think I will fuck them by them being nice to me for a few minutes and now to top it off two bastards tried to rape me. So yeah, I stopped believing long ago about Prince Charming." I ranted with my eyes heavy from trying not to cry.

There was one person I was leaving out, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about him. The only person I ever told was to Greg, my first boyfriend. I had never even told Amber and Renee about my dad. They knew about the rest...but not him.

"Iris, I am so sorry that happened to you."

"Yeah..well, it happened and now it's over. After Tom, you know (pointing to my wrist) this fucker I told myself I was never going to trust again, I was already skeptical with him but I was an idiot."

"You weren't an idiot Iris, but you shouldn't give up on people." He said.

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say."

"No, it's not.." He blurted out and stopped walking, "Before I became Captain America, I was a 90 pound sick kid, they wouldn't let join the military because all my issues, I had so many problems they would just tell me I was ineligible on asthma alone. I was beat up and bullied my whole life, always told I wasn't good enough...I have been on my own since I was 18 with only one friend I could call family. I saw a lot of ugliness. But I choose to believe there are good people in this world, if there weren't then what would have been the point in crashing that plane, or risking my life fighting aliens and robots." He said in one long sentence. Damn, he's a good talker.

"You really believe that, don't you?" I simply asked. "Yes, I do."

"I wish I could...but I can't." I relied.

"And I told you the morning after we met that I was going to win you over and it's not over yet. And I think it's working better then you think." He said, I just gave him look while he continued talking, "Yes, you know why? Because you told me about your past, that shows me you are starting to trust me." He finished with a smile. I couldn't believe it...was he right. Oh shit, I did tell him about my whole...well almost my whole past. Damn, he is good.

"So, your one friend...is he still alive?" I asked after a while to try and change the subject.

"That's kind of a long story."

"I've got time, there's still a little ways until we get to my apartment, so please continue...unless you don't want to."

"No...it's just...it's hard to talk about." He explained, "But okay, if you insist." I just gave him a smile.

We continued to walk and he told me all about Bucky, how they grew up together and fought together in the war and also told me all he went through. He walked me to the front step of my apartment. I was still little shook from all I told him, I still couldn't believe I told him all that, what was he doing to me?

"Thanks for taking me to the movie and I'm sorry if I ruined it for you."

"You didn't..." He only said.

We just stared at each other for a little while longer, I was on the front step so I was almost as tall as him.

"You know Iris, I know one day you'll find the man that's worthy of you" He said in my eyes.

"Yeah..until...," I started to say looking down but he stopped me by putting his hands on my hips gently so I would look back up at him.

"I'm not going to let you put yourself down, you are a beautiful, smart, very sassy woman, and none of those men deserved you. You deserve someone who will love and cherish you." He commanded.

"Yeah, like who?" I simply asked as I looked at him, while moving my hands I grazed his hands that was on my hips.

We both looked down at where his hands were and as we look back up we just stare into each others eyes and both glace at our already close lips. We both leaned in, I could feel his minty breath on my lips, we started to graze, barely touching our lips together. We both press our bodies to each other, I was breathing heavy. He raises his hands over my hips to my back, presses me a little harder to him when he kisses my lips but before I can really kiss back he pulled away.

"I'm sorry...I better go." He only said. "Oh, okay." With that he walked off.

I quickly went inside and leaned against the front door. I was still breathing heavy and started to touch my lips where I could still feel his mouth and body on me and I wanted more...much much more. I took off my clothes, got into my boy short and tank top to cool myself down, I put on a very thin silk robe. Those clothes just became to restricting. I laid on the bed just staring at the ceiling not being able to cool down at all. I was about to take a cool shower until my door bell rings, my heart is beating faster before I even open because I know who it was. I open the door and we just stared at each other for a few seconds, both of us breathing heavy. He stares down at my body and I do the same to him.

"Hi" is all he said as I could see lust in his eyes, he didn't even let me respond, he brought his hands to my face as I grabbed his shirt as our lips crashed together. I brought him in while he shut my door.

They kissed! Where do you think this is going to go?