Henry was indeed excited about going to the Harvest Festival.
Regina shared Emma's invitation with him as soon as she picked him up from school that early afternoon, and she made sure to let him know that he didn't have to go if he didn't want to. After all, he didn't know Emma Swan, and perhaps he wasn't all that for spending time with a stranger.
But she hadn't needed worrying.
Henry was over the moon, and the first thing he did when coming home, was telling Zelena about the invitation. Even though she knew about it anyway.
All through that day, Henry couldn't talk about anything. And it was the same the next day.
And the next.
And the next.
His excitement rubbed off on Regina. She too was excited about the Harvest Festival. She couldn't remember the last time she had attended a Harvest Festival in Steveston. Or anywhere else for that matter. Killian had not liked harvest festivals. He had thought that it was 'small-town-like'. At first he hadn't said so directly, but later, he had scoffed and rolled his eyes whenever Regina had mentioned it. He had clearly thought himself above all of that. And everyone who went to something as simple as harvest festivals, were peasant-like.
Well. He could go rot in hell for all she cared.
Oh. Anger.
That was new. Well. Perhaps the anger was better than any of the other emotions she already been through.
Perhaps she could actually use the anger for something.
Like fueling her desire to get back on her feet. Give him a metaphorical middle finger and all that.
Regina found new strength in that. Throughout the next couple of days, she trawled the great wide internet in an attempt to find a new place for herself and Henry. Now and then, Zelena came into the living room and saw what she was doing, but even though her mouth twisted, she did not say anything.
Regina did not brush the subject either. If she thought too much about it, she would remember just how scared she was of the prospect of living alone. There was something safe about living with her sister. In her current state, Regina could almost fall out of bed if she heard a branch knock against the window at night. The doorbell ringing could make her heart race. And too loud footsteps coming up the stairs could make her stomach tie in knots.
But she had to somehow get past all of that somehow. Because she wanted to get better. Wanted to create a life for herself and Henry.
Regina tried to keep herself busy (apartment hunting wasn't as easy as one could think) and she actually felt like she was creating a rhythm of sorts. She had begun to get up early in the morning instead of sleeping in like she had when she first returned home from the hospital. Now her alarm clock rang at six thirty in the morning. Every morning. That gave her a half an hour to do yoga and shower before waking up Henry. While he took his morning shower, Regina went downstairs and prepared breakfast for him. She had recently started experimenting with breakfast. Sometimes she made French toast. Other times Henry would come downstairs and whoop in excitement when he found out that his mom had made fluffy pancakes for breakfast. Sometimes she made scrambled eggs and bacon. And at other times she went all out and made waffles.
She wanted to spoil him rotten. In every possible way she could. If she overcompensated, then so be it. If making her son the best goddamn breakfast he could ever ask for, was overcompensating, then she would be happy to keep overcompensating until the end of time. He deserved the best kind of breakfast she could possibly come up with. And Regina was enjoying it. She enjoyed making breakfast because she wanted to and not because she HAD to. It was not a chore anymore. Henry would be just as happy eating cereal for breakfast.
Killian had not been. He had expected a lavish breakfast every morning, and if Regina hadn't made one, it would ruin the entire morning for both of them. He had also expected a hot meal every evening and got unreliably sour if he didn't get one. At first, Regina had made excuses for him. He was just a traditional man who liked traditional things. Like a warm meal every night. And she had been eager to please 'her man', so she had willingly made that warm meal.
But later, it had been less than willingly. It had been a chore. A task she had to full fill no matter what.
Things were different now. Killian was gone. Regina was free to cook what she wanted when she wanted. And eat what she wanted. There were no more nagging comments about watching her weight. And that meant that Regina had started to enjoy food again. Really enjoy it. As the pain in her throat subsided, her appetite returned, and more often than not, she found herself wandering into the kitchen to grab a snack. A bag of chips. A chocolate bar. Anything, really.
Zelena loved to see it. Regina knew that she had been very worried about her weight, and Regina had not been blind to it either. When she had looked in the mirror, she had been able to see that she had lost a lot of weight. She had been able to feel it on her clothes too. Her trousers could barely stay up. Her blouses were baggy.
But now she had started to put some meat on her bones again, and she could see the effect of that too. Her cheeks had started to fill in more. Was getting rounder and fuller.
Gaining weight did not scare Regina. She knew that she had been too thin. She was still not overly thrilled when she looked at herself in the mirror, but the rounder, fuller cheeks were definitely an improvement from the sunken in cheeks and too-big eyes she had seen so often.
She was starting to look healthier.
Was she feeling healthier too?
Yes, she supposed so, actually.
Her daily yoga sessions were doing wonders to her mental health. And so was the brisk walks she had started taking when she came home after having dropped Henry off at school. She wouldn't even be going inside the house first. She would simply get out of her car and then embark on a brisk walk in the neighborhood. Sometimes she exchanged a wave and a friendly nod with one of Zelena's neighbors. Sometimes she met a stray cat or an enthusiastic dog along the way. Things that warmed her from the inside.
Sometimes Zelena would go with her when she wasn't working, but most of the times, Regina would walk on her own.
Regina appreciated her daily walks. Generally, she was doing many things she appreciated lately. As her therapist had advised her to, she was doing things that made her happy. That included watching lots and lots of Great British Bake-Off. Cooking lavish breakfast for her son. Helping him with his homework as best as she could when unable to speak. She was also planning on starting baking again. Cooking was one thing, but baking was in an entirely different category. Baking was something she had really enjoyed doing before everything had gotten so turbulent. She couldn't count the times she and her father had ended up baking something in the kitchen. He had really loved baking too. Especially everything containing chocolate. Cora had of course scoffed and reminded him of his high cholesterol. She'd had a point, Regina knew that now, but it was the way she said it. Like she always had to puncture his joy just a little. At least until he had come over to her and kissed her cheek. Regina had always thought that he was a brave man for doing that, but it was the only thing who could sway Cora Mills' steely façade. She had not been a very soft mother, but Henry had always been able to bring out her softer side.
Her parents' marriage had always been a bit of a mystery to Regina, but after Cora's death, Henry had always said that he and Cora had had a wonderful marriage. And Regina always believed her father. He had never lied to her before, and Regina doubted that he would have started after her mother's death...
Regina wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but suddenly, the day was here. The day of the Harvest Festival.
She was a bit nervous, she willingly admitted that. The coffee-appointments at Eugenia's Inn was one thing, but this was something completely else. It had been a long, long time since she went out like this. Since she walked amongst a large crowd of people.
But she was determinated to do this. She was determinated to make it a nice evening for herself and Henry. He had been one big smile when he woke up this morning. And the first thing he had asked her, was whether they were still going to Steveston tonight.
Regina had been happy to nod her head yes. They were indeed going to Steveston tonight. And she was looking forward to it. Or that was at least what she was convincing herself that she was. Looking forward to tonight. She didn't want her anxiety to get the best of her. Not tonight. Not when Henry was so excited. Not when Emma Swan had been so kind to invite them both to Steveston.
Regina pondered about that for a while as she poured herself a cup of morning-coffee. Emma Swan had invited her to quite a few things. First Steveston for coffee. And now to the Harvest Festival. It wasn't completely even, was it?
Regina should invite Emma to something too. It was the polite thing to do. How to be a good friend.
Perhaps she should invite Emma Swan over for coffee sometimes.
Hmm.
Regina felt a prickle of anxiety at the thought of Emma here in the kitchen.
No.
It was too soon.
Yes, they were friends, and yes, inviting her over for coffee sometimes would be the polite thing to do, but Emma Swan also happened to be Regina's first NEW friend. She was the first new person who got to know Regina like this. The first person who hadn't known old-Regina.
Regina knew that she had to go about this slowly. If she wanted to do too many things too quickly, she would get anxiety and become frightened all over again.
She would wait with inviting Emma over for coffee. Settle for more coffee at Eugenia's Inn. It would have to suffice for now. It was the best she could do.
She took another sip of her coffee and savored the taste. Coffee was also something she had started to really enjoy recently. She had missed coffee while she was in the hospital. She hadn't been allowed to drink coffee there. The caffeine had not been good for the healing process, or something.
But now she was back in the coffee-game so to speak. And god, it felt good!
Later found Regina sitting in front of her little vanity table in 'her' bedroom. She was thoroughly engaged with brushing her hair. And trying to convince herself that she was not nervous.
Even though she most certainly was.
There would be so many people tonight.
So many people would see her.
Notice her.
Look at her.
Perhaps even whisper about her.
No.
Regina shook her head and rolled her eyes at her own foolishness.
That was not how the people in Steveston were.
They were not gossips. At least not like that.
Regina could do this. Of course she could. It was no big deal. It was something she had done many, many times before in the past. It had been a part of her traditions.
And she wanted to make it a tradition again. Starting tonight.
Regina resumed brushing her hair. Determined. Steel-jawed. Like Cora Mills. According to here mother, you could do anything if you just put your mind to it. So that was exactly what Regina was going to do. Put her mind to it. Decide to have a good time tonight.
She and Emma Swan had been texting a lot over the last few weeks. They had not met up for coffee since that day, but that was okay. Regina had been quite busy searching for a new place to live. And searching for some kind of job. True, she was sort of comfortable with how things were right now. She had grown quite fond of her little daily routine with yoga and baking and cooking for her son. But she couldn't keep living off of the money her father had left her. If she continued, there wouldn't be any money left. Honestly, she felt bad about dipping into the money from her dad. She was supposed to save them for a rainy day. To the day where she really needed them. And she would like to set some aside for Henry too. For his college fund.
Meaning that no matter how comfortable she was in her little routine, she had to find a job. An actual job. Earn some money so she could support her son.
But finding a job was hard. What kind of job could she even hold when she couldn't talk?
Regina couldn't really picture herself staring into a laptop screen while typing in some kind of numbers all day. She would like to use her education if possible, but she struggled with seeing exactly how she was supposed to do that now.
It was difficult teaching or being a professor when you did not have a voice to speak with.
Downstairs in the living room, Regina found Zelena sitting nonchalantly in the couch. She was wearing sweatpants, and her curly red hair had been piled into a messy bun on top of her head. She was watching a movie on Netflix. Regina briefly recognized it as being A Room With A View before Zelena paused it in favor of conversation.
"You look nice," she said and smiled at Regina.
Regina bowed her head in gratitude. She wasn't wearing anything overly fancy. Just a pair of woolen slacks and a sweater. And of course a scarf. Nothing fancy. She was going to wear a coat over it. It was such a cold evening. Frosty and with a touch snow in the air even. Regina knew a certain young man who would be quite excited if it would start snowing. Henry had always loved snow. And it was as certain as the sun that he would want to build a snowman if the snow stuck. Perhaps Regina would venture into the garden to help him. It had been a long, long time since she did that too.
"Are you looking forward to the Harvest Festival?" Zelena asked and interrupted Regina's train of thoughts.
Regina nodded. Truthfully. She was actually looking forward to tonight. Looking forward to seeing Henry's eyes light up like a christmas tree when he saw the lights and smelled all the classic harvest festivals scents. Hot dogs. Popcorns. Candy corn apples.
"There will be a bit of a crowd there," Zelena said softly. "How do you feel about that?"
Regina shrugged slightly to indicate that she was fine with it. Yes, there would be a crowd in Steveston tonight, but Regina had already made up her mind. She could not keep herself hidden away in Zelena's home forever. If she did that, she would do exactly as Killian had wanted her to. He had wanted to keep her confined in the home at all times. So if she chose to hide at home, he would have won in a sense.
And if there was something Regina did not want, it was Killian to win.
Meaning that she had to start going out more. Prove that she was still here. Still standing tall.
Or something like that.
"I'm sure you and Henry will have a great time with Emma," Zelena said lightly and shot Regina a look. She had done that a few times, and Regina had come to recognize that look as the 'are you certain that Emma isn't trying to date you'-look.
Regina smiled overbearingly. Like she always did whenever Zelena was flashing her that kind of look. No, Emma Swan was NOT trying to date her. The thought alone was ridiculous. They were just friends. Good friends. That was all. Nothing to give funny looks about.
After a moment of waiting, Henry came bumping down the stairs and almost solemnly proclaimed that he was ready.
Regina took a moment to look at him. It looked like he had brushed his hair a little extra tonight. It was no longer flopping about his eyes as it usually did. His hair had gotten properly long lately, and Regina once again congratulated herself with having online booked an appointment for him at the hairdresser. He was going tomorrow. And for once he was actually fine with it. Apparently, he was over his 'I want my hair long'-phase. Regina felt sort of grateful about that. She wasn't sure she ever could have gotten used to seeing him with long hair. But of course, if it was something he'd really wanted, well... She wasn't gonna deny him anything.
"Are we going yet?" Henry asked, looking sort of doubtfully at her.
Regina felt slightly guilty. Did he fear that she was going to back out at the very last minute? Or worse still, did he EXPECT her to back out at the very last minute?
Hell no.
Regina nodded firmly and flashed her son a beaming smile. Oh yes, they were going! Absolutely. There would be no backing out at the very last minute even though she was intimidated by going. Although she was afraid of being looked at. Talked about. Pitied.
"Awesome!" Henry said, flashing her a big, goofy grin. "Let's get going, then!"
Regina checked the time on her watch. Yes, it was time to go. It was still a little early, but she knew how crazy traffic could be. She knew what the Harvest Festival did to Steveston, so it was better being a little early.
"Well, have a nice time you two," Zelena smiled. "And have something sweet for me."
"Like pie?" Henry suggested, giving Regina a slight nudge that had Regina smiling. Pie was something else she had recently started enjoying again too. Much to Henry's delight, she had baked quite a lot of pies over the past few weeks. Chocolate pies. Caramel pies. Vanilla pies. It didn't matter. As long as it was pies.
Henry took her hand and Regina allowed him to lead her into the hallway. Henry put on his black coat and striped scarf, and after having been 'encouraged' to do so by Regina, he also put on his gloves. Regina happened to know how cold it was tonight, and she was not interested in seeing him freeze.
Regina opted for her black coat with the big fake-fur collar. She wasn't interested in freezing either. She felt in her pockets and found her favorite pair of gloves. Feeling a bit deeper, she discovered that she actually had a second pair of gloves in her pockets. Oh well. That only meant she had an extra pair in case Henry got his dirty or something.
Car keys. Phone. Purse. She was ready to go...
They were late.
And Regina was stressed because of it.
She had been absolutely right about the traffic.
The road to Steveston had been full of cars, and finding a parking spot when they finally arrived had been damn nearly impossible.
But now they were here, thank god. She needed to get out of the car. And so did Henry. He had been going a bit jittery in the backseat. Had asked 'are we there yet?' two or three times, and Regina had tried not to get stressed out by that. She had continuously reminded herself that he was only asking because he was excited.
With the car finally parked, Regina opened the door and stepped out.
So did Henry, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw all the lights from the little lanterns and Ferris Wheel and heard the shouts from excited kids.
The entire town smelled of popcorn and other types of junk food, and Regina took a moment to soak up the atmosphere. She remembered the first time she came here. Hand in hand with her father. He was the one who had introduced her to Steveston and the Harvest Festival. It was a long and proud 'tradition' in the Mills' family, and later, Regina would go to the Harvest Festival with Henry on her hip.
Perhaps he one day would come here with his own children. And a grey-haired Regina walking beside him...
She was brought out of her sentimental little daydream when she suddenly registered that Henry was gone. Well, not gone-gone, Regina could still see the bottom of his scarf blowing in the wind as he went, and she was torn between amusement and annoyance. He knew that he was not supposed to run away from her.
But on the other hand, it was wonderful to witness him act as an excited, ten year old kid who couldn't hold back a minute longer. This was the way ten year old boys were supposed to act, and Regina supposed she was grateful to see that. See him act like old-Henry. Before-things-changed-Henry.
Nevertheless, it would probably be a good idea to locate him. The place was a bit crowded, and Regina was not interested in bothering the local sheriff, Graham just because she could not find her son.
She brushed a hand over her coat and then she ventured down the lit up pathway in an attempt to locate her wayward son. Now and then, she glanced at her watch and cringed slightly. Goodness, they were really late. She hoped that Emma Swan wouldn't be too upset. Or worse still, had left. Regina stopped for a moment as she checked her phone. No new messages. So Emma had not written and asked when they would arrive. Regina was not sure whether that was a good or a bad sign.
And she seemed to have misplaced Henry too. She stretched her neck in an attempt to locate him, and when she could not, she felt a twinge of panic.
But then she spotted him. He was standing right at the square and talking to a certain blonde woman. As Regina approached, she heard him say 'right there!' while he gestured in her direction. Little rascal must have eyes in the back of his neck to be able to see her from that angle.
Regina reached them, and she couldn't help but to scowl slightly as she lifted her glove clad hands and signed to Henry: 'don't run away from me.'
Henry too frowned as he proclaimed: "I didn't run away. I was just... walking fast."
Emma Swan looked like she was about to laugh, and Regina abandoned the strict parent attitude. Henry was fine after all. Nothing had happened. She signed again, but this time it was not to reprimand her son.
"'Sorry we're late,'" Henry translated, and his little nose scrunched slightly. "The traffic was... awful?"
Exactly. He had done it again. Put her signs into speech. Regina was proud of her boy, and she nodded and flashed him a smile.
"That's totally fine," Emma said, brushing a lock of hair away from her face. Her hair was hanging loose, and she was wearing that red leather jacket again. Regina had reached a point where she was starting to connect Emma to red leather, and she was concerned for a moment as she wondered if Emma did not own any other jacket. Wasn't she cold? That leather jacket didn't look very thick. Hmm.
She forced herself to snap out of it and wiggled her fingers in the air again so Henry could put it into words. And he did. "'Have you waited a long time?'" he asked on her behalf.
"No-no, I've just got here," Emma said lightly.
Lie. Regina wasn't quite sure how or why, but she could instinctively sense that Emma Swan was lying about how long she had waited. She had most likely waited for far longer than she let on. Damnit. Damn traffic. But there was nothing Regina could do about that now. She settled for a slight smile, a nod and then made a little gesture with her head, silently asking if they should get going.
Off they went to be a part of the Harvest Festival. Regina spotted several familiar faces in the crowd. Mr. Gold. Isabelle, his wife. Ruby. Graham Humbert, the kind sheriff. But fortunately enough, all of them could be greeted with a smile, and none of them approached her to try and talk to her. Thank god.
"Can I have a corndog?" Henry asked after a moment.
Regina nodded. Of course he could have a corndog. That was one of his main reasons for coming here. But perhaps it would be better if he waited until after he'd been riding the carousel? Regina still had terrible memories of the time he had thrown up while riding the carousel because he had eaten too much and had gotten overexcited or something like that. She wiggled her fingers and suggested that he waited.
"Fiiiine," Henry said with an impressive display of drama in his voice. "I'll wait until after I've tried the carousel."
Regina ruffled his hair slightly and then looked up and flashed Emma a little smile. Emma smiled back, but Regina still felt a little guilty. She was well aware that a great many things got lost in translation when she used Sign Language with Henry. But it was just so difficult, walking and typing on her phone. Regina was not really the type who was good at that. Mostly because she hadn't been much of a texter before 'it' had happened.
'It'. Her stomach made an uncomfortable flipflop, and Regina stopped abruptly in front of the public restroom. She could use a minute or two in there. Just to collect herself. And possibly even use the bathroom. She had clearly forgotten to relieve herself before driving here. Damnit. She should become a little better at following the rules she had sat up for Henry. Always use the bathroom before going anywhere.
Now Regina turned to Henry and signed: 'I need to go in there quickly. Will you promise me that you stay here with Miss Swan until I get back? No wandering off, okay?'
"I won't wander off. I'll stay right here with Miss Swan," Henry confirmed and looked almost solemn again.
Regina believed him. She smiled at him, found her phone in her pocket and then tapped in a short message (I won't be a moment) and showed the message to Emma.
"We'll stay right here," Emma promised and sounded a little nervous.
Regina smiled reassuringly at her before turning around and walking towards the public bathroom. For some reason, she trusted Emma Swan completely when it came to watching Henry. And besides, this was a good way for the two of them to spend some time together. In case Emma ever thought of inviting Henry along for anything else. Or if Regina ever plucked up the courage to invite Emma Swan for coffee at Zelena's place. Henry would undoubtedly be there, and it would be a definite advantage if Emma and Henry got along.
In the bathroom, Regina took a moment to breathe and remind herself that she was okay. That it was just her, Henry, and Emma. The crowd didn't matter. She didn't have to focus on everything else except the little bubble that consisted of the three of them.
She was fine.
And however impossible it sounded...
She actually... Was.
She didn't feel panicky or scared. She felt sort of... good.
Huh.
Regina studied herself in the greasy mirror for a moment and scowled slightly as she fixed her hair a little. The wind seemed to have messed it up, and Regina refused to walk around with messed up hair.
Once that was taken care of, Regina did what she had forgotten to do before leaving, and as she washed her hands in the small sink afterwards, she wondered what Emma and Henry were talking about. If they were talking. Regina hoped they were. She hoped that she would not be met by awkward silence when she emerged from the bathroom.
For some reason, it was important for her that Emma and Henry could get along. She wanted them to be friends. Like she and Emma were friends. She had a feeling that Henry could benefit a great deal from having a friend like Emma Swan. She was smart and funny and wrote fairy tales. She fulfilled every criteria Henry had to be defined as 'cool'.
Regina smiled a little at her reflection. Encouragingly. She had been in here long enough, and she certainly was not the type who stayed in a public bathroom longer than necessary. So she wiped her hands thoroughly on three paper towels, put her gloves back on and then left the bathroom yet again.
Emma and Henry were indeed talking. At first, Regina could not hear what about, but once she got a little closer, she had no problems with hearing what Henry was saying:
"-She doesn't like seeing people. Only me and auntie Z. Zelena keeps telling her that she should go out more and see other people, but mom doesn't want too. She hasn't wanted to since the acci- oh, hey mom!" he jolted slightly when she put a hand on his shoulder, and then he looked a bit embarrassed. And rightfully so, Regina dared thinking. He really shouldn't be spilling her secrets like that. She did not need Emma Swan to join her pity-party.
"Can we go try the Ferris wheel, please?" Henry asked.
Now Emma looked up too, and Regina noted that she too looked a little embarrassed. Perhaps because she was the one who had asked Henry questions or something like that.
But Regina was not particularly upset about that. She was well aware that her missing voice and general behavior was puzzling at best. Of course Emma Swan would be curious to know more. It was only natural.
"Mom? Can we try the Ferris wheel?" Henry repeated hopefully and then glanced at Emma. "Miss Swan said that she wants to go with me!"
"Emma," the blonde corrected with a smile.
Oh. First name basis. Surely, that was a good sign, right? Regina nodded and Henry lead the way as they headed towards the Ferris wheel. She couldn't help but frown a bit, though. She was certain she had seen a hint of something in Emma's smile. Pity. God, no. Anything but that. Regina didn't want her budding friendship with Emma to be tainted by pity. That would be devastating. Now she honestly felt a little sad.
"He's a sweet kid," Emma said, nodding towards Henry who was skipping ahead.
Of course Regina perked up at that. She nodded eagerly and found her phone in her pocket. She began typing. Couldn't help but honest once more as she wrote: 'and a little chatterbox too, I'm afraid.' Then she turned the screen towards Emma so she could read it.
Emma leaned in and then chuckled once having read the message. "It's cool. I don't mind."
Regina shook her head slightly. Perhaps Emma did not mind, but Regina did. At least a little bit. She did not want Emma to pity her. Ever.
Then Henry claimed her attention by pointing to one of the food stalls. This one sold popcorn. He clearly wanted some, and his disappointment was clear as day when Regina let him know that the popcorn would have to wait until after he had tried the carousel.
"Then lets go!" he said a bit insistently.
Regina looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Look at him giving her sass. That was almost a rarity these days, and if she hadn't been such a mom about it, she definitely would have been proud.
"Please," he quickly amended, having clearly seen her raised eyebrow.
Regina smiled overbearingly and nodded, and soon Henry was proudly sitting atop a majestic, black wooden horse. The carousel took him round and round, and of course Regina just had to take pictures of him with her cellphone. Some of them she sent to Zelena, but although she could see that Zelena was answering the message right away, Regina did not open it. She didn't want to be on her phone more than necessary when she was with Emma. It would seem rude. And it was bad enough that she used it for writing messages to show to her.
"He's having a great time," Emma commented as she nodded towards Henry on the carousel.
Regina nodded and smiled. Yes, Henry seemed to be having a marvelous time. Thankfully. He was a great little buffer, and Regina was glad that Emma had been thoughtful enough to invite him along for this. The Harvest Festival was right up his street.
"I think he was looking forward to the bonfire later," Emma continued. "And he asked if I could ride the Ferris wheel with him. Is that alright with you?"
How nice of her to ask. Regina didn't want to settle with a nod and a smile this time. She found her phone and wrote a quick message. 'Yes, that's completely fine with me. As long as you don't mind doing it.' she turned the phone towards Emma.
"Not at all," Emma assured and grinned after having read the message. "It's been years since I've tried a Ferris wheel. I'm kinda looking forward to trying it again."
Much to her surprise, Regina found herself erupting in that silent laughter. It only lasted a split second, but she was still utterly shocked. And a bit horrified too. Suppose Emma would think that it was weird? To distract both of them for what just had occurred, Regina hastily tapped down another message on the phone. 'Do you want a pumpkin spice once he's done riding the carousel? My treat.' Then she turned the screen in Emma's direction.
Emma squinted slightly in the darkness as she read the message (Regina reminded herself to turn up the light on her screen) and then she looked up at Regina. "Yeah, that sounds good, but you don't have to buy me-"
Regina knew it was rude, but she couldn't help but interrupt by shaking her head firmly. No way Emma was going to buy her own drinks after she had been kind enough to invite Regina and Henry to the Harvest Festival with her.
"Alright, alright. Your treat," Emma surrendered and grinned.
Regina smiled and felt rather triumphantly.
Now she settled for watching Henry on the carousel rather than taking pictures of him. He would probably find that embarrassing anyway. And as they stood and watched, Regina noted that Emma was rubbing her hands and blowing on them. She was clearly cold. Why hadn't she brought any gloves with her? Did she not own any gloves? Regina's mouth twisted. She would not have Emma standing here with cold fingers. Not when there was something she could do to rectify it.
She thrusted a hand inside the pocket of her coat and found the spare pair of gloves. Then she lightly tapped Emma's shoulder once. She could not clear her throat to get Emma's attention, so this would have to suffice. When Emma looked up, Regina held out the gloves towards her. And raised an eyebrow to indicate that saying no was not an option.
"Thanks," Emma said as she took the gloves from Regina. "I forgot my own back at the inn."
Regina retrieved her phone from her pocket and began writing another message. She was becoming quite the expert at this. When she was done writing, she turned the screen towards Emma so she could read the message. 'Good thing I had an extra pair then.'
"Yeah," Emma agreed as she slipped on the gloves. "You're still adding to my fairy godmother theory."
That made Regina smile, and although she shook her head to indicate that Emma was silly, she nevertheless found the whole fairy godmother thing to be quite sweet, really. Nobody had ever referred to her as a fairy godmother before, and she found it to be very refreshing.
After a moment, Henry climbed off the carousel and came back over to them. He was almost glowing with excitement. And grinning broadly at Regina as he asked: "Can I have a corndog now please?"
Regina glanced towards the Ferris wheel. Didn't he want to go up there first?
"I think I'd like a corndog first. Please?"
Okay, okay. He had been very patient. And very consistent when it came to asking about getting a corndog. She nodded. Glanced briefly at Emma and then signed at her son when she got an idea.
"She's asking if you'd like a corndog too?" Henry asked Emma on Regina's behalf.
Emma looked at Regina. "You really don't have to buy me one."
Either Emma Swan was incredibly stubborn. Or not at all used to people offering to buy her things. Or perhaps both. Regina turned to Henry again to let her intentions be known through him.
"She says she insists," Henry translated when Regina was done signing.
"Oh," Emma Swan grinned, and her cheeks seemed to pinken too. But that was probably just the cold. "Well, in that case... Yeah, I'd like a corndog."
Feeling extremely pleased with that answer, Regina lead them over towards the food stalls once more. Henry got his corndog, finally, and once again he looked absolutely delighted.
So did Emma, but after having taken the first bite, the grin on her face turned into a frown. "You don't like corndogs?" she asked.
Regina shrugged lightly in response.
"She's waiting for us to pass the pie stall," Henry piped up. "She loves pie. Right, mom?"
Busted. Regina put a hand on her heart in mock offense and then gave Henry's shoulder a playful little whack.
"Ow!" Henry said, dramatic once more. "Emma, she punched me!"
Emma chuckled, clearly amused at their little exchange. "Yeah. I saw it."
Regina flashed a playful little smile and Henry muttered that she was 'mean'. Then he took a large bite of his corndog and informed her that she was 'missing out'.
As to keep up the little banter between them, Regina wrinkled her nose in mock disgust, but she was not even particularly disgusted about the corndog. And she was certainly not missing out on anything either. Her heart felt lighter than ever.
She found it... less difficult to live with things tonight. She had even almost forgotten that she could not talk. She felt more like herself than she had in a long, long time. Tonight she was simply Regina attending the Harvest Festival and nothing more...
Later, Henry and Emma went up in the Ferris wheel.
Regina, who was terrified of heights chose to stay on the ground and settled for waving every time Emma and Henry's little 'wagon' got close to the ground. And every single time, Henry looked so engaged with conversation that he barely had time for waving back.
What were they talking about, the two of them, Regina wondered. Henry was laughing a lot, so it had to be something good.
He liked Emma Swan. That much was evident, and Regina was relieved. She wouldn't have liked being friends with someone Henry did not like.
But imagining him to not like Emma Swan was ridiculous. Emma Swan was... very likeable. She was a nice, genuine person with a laid back personality. And what's more, she seemed so positive.
And right now that was exactly what Regina needed. A positive influence in her life. Not that Henry or Zelena weren't positive, but they were positive in a different way.
Regina smiled when she saw not only Henry wave at her, but also Emma, and of course she made a show of waving back to both of them. Emma's smile seemed to widen just a little further at that, and that made Regina's heart light once more. She was happy to see Emma have such a good time after the difficult situation she came from in Toronto. She deserved to have a nice evening at a Harvest Festival like this one.
When the Ferris wheel cabin came round one more time, Regina got a glimpse of Emma laughing at something Henry had said, and she noticed something.
Emma Swan had a really great smile.
A beautiful smile.
How strange that she had not noticed that before.
Regina absentmindedly tugged a lock of hair behind her ear. Now she couldn't stop thinking about that smile. It had been a long time since she last had seen such a big, genuine, open smile.
God. What was the matter with her?
What business did she have thinking that much about Emma Swan's smile?
Absolutely none.
Regina shook her head at her own foolishness and tried not to look at Emma's smile when their Ferris wheel cabin came round one more time.
But it was impossible not to look.
Not when Emma was still wearing that big smile. She looked so incredibly happy.
That made Regina happy too. Happy about the invitation. Happy that Emma and Henry were getting along so well. It was wonderful to see.
After one last spin, Emma and Henry came back to the ground once more. Henry declared that it had been 'awesome!'. And then he asked if he could have some popcorn.
Of course he could.
He happily munched on said popcorn while they watched the bonfire and following fireworks, and Regina couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself this much. Genuinely enjoyed herself. For once, she did not feel afraid. For once, she did not feel wrong or damaged. Oh, how she wished that she could feel like this all the time. This had to be the kind of 'progress' her therapist was talking about, right?
And Henry seemed much happier too. Less weighted down. Less worried. He had developed the habit of asking Regina how she felt. If she was tired if she needed anything. But he had not done that al all tonight. And Regina was happy to see that. Because he shouldn't constantly be checking up on her. That was role reversal. Regina did not want the roles to be reversed. She was the mother. Henry was the child. That was how it was supposed to be. He should not be weighted down with concern for her.
She chose to believe that tonight marked something. For Henry. And herself. It had to be. It was like there was something in the air.
It was almost a shame when it became time for them to head home. Tonight had been really good, and Regina had a feeling that she would not have any nightmares tonight. She was tired. Wasn't used to doing this much.
"Bye, Emma," Henry said sweetly when they were standing near Regina's Mercedes.
"Bye, kid," Emma said, returning the smile tenfold.
Regina smiled too. Kid. She had a feeling that Henry would like that nickname.
"Thank you for trying the Ferris wheel with me," Henry added politely, and Regina's heart swelled with pride. That was her boy, alright!
"It was my pleasure, kid," Emma grinned. "I hope you had fun tonight!"
"I did!" Henry said enthusiastically. "We both did. Right, mom?" he looked back at Regina.
Regina nodded in confirmation and gestured towards the car. The temperature had dropped, and she didn't want him to get cold.
"Bye, Emma," Henry said again. This time he stuck out his hand. So polite. So very-not-eager to leave yet.
Emma laughed as she shook his little hand once, and Regina got the impression that Emma was impressed at Henry's display of politeness.
After one last smile, Henry obediently trotted towards the car. Climbed onto the backseat and slammed the door. Regina saw how he immediately dived down under the seat. Most likely to retrieve the Nintendo DS he kept there 'for rainy days'. Him and his screen. Regina smiled slightly overbearingly. And then she turned her attention back to Emma.
"I've had a really good time tonight," Emma said. She almost sounded a bit shy.
Regina nodded and hoped Emma would understand the silent words she formed with her lips.
"Me, too?" Emma guessed.
Exactly. Emma apparently had some talent when it came to lip-reading. Regina smiled to show that Emma was correct.
"He's an awesome kid," Emma continued as she glanced back towards the car.
Regina too looked back. Henry was happily engaged with his game and wearing a pair of headphones. He was indeed an awesome kid, and she couldn't help but to bop her head up and down in enthusiasm.
"I'd love to hang out with him again sometimes," Emma said and pushed a lock of golden hair behind her ear. "Do you think he'd want that?"
Why yes, of course. Regina had a feeling that Henry would absolutely love that. When they drove home, he probably would be delivering a full report on why Emma Swan was great company. Regina found her phone in her pocket and wrote a new message with fingers that were slightly stiff. 'yes, I believe he'd enjoy that very much.' Then she showed the message to Emma.
"Cool," Emma grinned, tugging off her borrowed gloves and handing them to Regina. "Thanks for letting me borrow your gloves."
Regina smiled and stuffed the gloves back in her pocket. Emma was wearing that smile again. That smile made it difficult to look away. But she knew she had to try. She tore her gaze away from Emma Swan's smile and glanced back towards her car. She was starting to fade real quickly now. Wanted to go home and relax with a book. She should get going. They both should. Standing here was cold.
Regina offered a little nod and the briefest of touches to the top of Emma's shoulder. Then she turned around and started walking towards the car. As nice as tonight had been, going home would be nice too. Zelena was probably going crazy waiting for her to get back. She would undoubtedly be asking a lot of questions, and Regina smiled at the thought. Henry was not the only one who would be giving a full report tonight.
"Wait!"
The outburst had Regina instantly freezing on the spot for a second. Then she turned around and raised an eyebrow at Emma. What was going on?
"I was just wondering..." Emma visibly blushed and did not finish the sentence.
Now Regina was really confused. She tilted her head. Exactly what was Emma wondering about?
"I was just wondering if you'd like to... go out with me sometimes. You know... maybe have dinner?"
What?! Regina was sure her jaw dropped, and for a moment she was entirely incapable of responding. This time there was no doubt. Emma Swan was most certainly asking her out on a... on a date.
Date.
The word alone had Regina's stomach pulling tight with anxiety. She almost expected herself to double back to her car and drive away as fast as possible.
But it did not happen.
Strangely enough, she did not feel like bolting.
But she was undoubtedly intimidated by this. Dating.
A date.
So Zelena had been right after all. Emma Swan DID in fact want to date her.
Her.
The woman who couldn't talk.
Regina was definitely surprised by this. Had not seen it coming at all. Didn't know that Emma felt more for her than friendship.
Felt more.
God.
Emma had feelings for her. Otherwise she never would have asked her out.
Was Regina really ready for that?
The short answer was no. She was not.
But the longer answer was a bit more complicated.
Because there was something in Emma's face.
Something so open and honest and hopeful that even the idea of saying no seemed terrible.
Emma Swan was a great person.
She really, truly was.
And that smile.
That damned smile of hers.
And Regina had made a decision about being brave.
But a date. A DATE.
Such a dangerous word.
Regina felt anxious.
Her hands curled into fists.
"Nothing fancy," Emma amended, gaze flickering. "I was just thinking maybe that Italian place on Main Street? Tony's?"
Regina bit her bottom lip. It hurt.
Date.
DATE.
Regina couldn't remember what that was like.
The memory of going to a restaurant without being afraid of accidentally making eye contact with a waiter or something. That had often gotten her in trouble with Killian.
She hadn't been on a good date for a long, long time.
What if the whole experience would be terribly triggering for her? What if she would end up getting a panic attack?
Perhaps it would be better to shake her head no. Come up with an excuse.
But there was Emma Swan's open, vulnerable face again. The lights in her green eyes had gone out, and she was anxiously scuffing the noses of her boots on the pavement. She was expecting to be rejected. She was expecting Regina to turn her down.
Emma Swan was not used to anybody saying yes to her.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, gaze dropping to the ground "I was just thinking..."
Regina made a quick decision. She interrupted Emma's sentence by grabbing her phone. Typed in the shortest of questions ('when?') and then turned the screen towards Emma.
Because she liked Emma.
Because Emma was a good person.
Because Emma's smile made Regina feel a flicker of something she thought was impossible.
The emotions were not overwhelming in anyway.
Just the slightest whisper of something Regina thought was long gone.
The faintest little... something.
Something that maybe, perhaps could grow into something that was more than something. If allowed to. If she gave it time. Nurtured it and allowed it to grow.
And Regina wanted to be brave. Wanted to do something good to herself.
And saying yes to going out with Emma seemed like a very good thing to do for herself.
Because Emma's smile had ignited something.
A tiny, barely there flame.
But still more than that.
A... A hope.
"Next Saturday? Seven o'clock?" Emma suggested, and Regina could hear the optimism return to her voice.
Regina slipped her phone back inside her pocket. And then she nodded once.
"Yeah?" Emma asked. Now definitely hopeful.
Regina nodded again and even managed to flash Emma a little smile.
"Awesome!" Emma grinned. "I'll really look forward to that!"
Her unbridled joy was contagious. That smile again. That smile that made her green eyes light up and her cheeks glow.
How could anyone have such a pretty smile?
Did Emma know how pretty her smile was?
Regina returned the smile. Formed the words 'me, too' and then tugged her hair behind ear. A date. She had a date. For the first time in over a year. She could not believe that this was happening, and she was starting to feel really tired. She so easily got overwhelmed, and she couldn't help but glancing towards her car again.
"I'll... text you tomorrow?"
Regina nodded again. Offered Emma a smile. A slight wave. And then she turned around and walked towards her car.
This time, Emma did not stop her, and Regina elegantly climbed onto the driver's seat and closed the door behind her.
"Are we going now?" Henry piped up from the backseat.
Regina nodded distractedly as she found her phone once more. She was barely paying attention as she quickly wrote a text to Zelena: 'We'll be driving home now. We had a great time. And you were right about Emma.' Emma's smile was still repeating itself in her mind.
The answer came swiftly. Zelena was clearly close to her phone. 'What do you mean?'
Regina texted back. 'She asked me out.'
Of course the response came even before she had turned the key in the ignition. 'Oh my god, are you serious?! She did?! What did you say?'
'I said yes.'
Regina did not feel any regret about the quick decision. She was actually... looking a bit forward to the date with Emma Swan.
Her phone vibrated again, and Regina checked the message. 'Oh. My. God. Please tell me you'll stay up for a while when you get home!'
Regina smiled. She knew what that meant. Sister-talk. Another thing to look forward to.
And a date with Emma Swan. As intimidating as that sounded for someone like her, she wasn't able to focus on the 'scary' parts right now.
She could only think about Emma Swan's smile..
Emma Swan's beautiful, beautiful smile that made her feel something that was not fear...
To Be Continued...