Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n we are going to deviate extensively from Cannon beginning with this chapter as we are coming up on "Revelations."

JJ hurried off the elevator and past the bullpen doors. She held a steaming cup of coffee from Starbucks in one hand and her bag in the other. She strode around the corner to her office and had barely put down her coffee when her phone beeped.

JJ looked at the phone and blinked at the message. "I'm boarding now. Love you."

A tear dropped from her right eye, and she had to take in and blow out several deep breaths to keep from putting her head on her desk and bawling like a baby.

The stacks of files called to her, but for the first time since she'd begun her relationship with Spence, she found it impossible to concentrate on work.

Typically, a call from Hotch on her office phone would prick at her nerves, but when it came, ten minutes later, she nearly cheered with relief.

Hotch looked up from his paperwork when she walked into his office. "Close the door, please."

His tone and unusual request to close the door pushed JJ's worry over Reid from her mind. Did Hotch have a case she hadn't seen, and if so, was it a bad one?

"As I'm sure you know, Reid's on his way to Las Vegas?"

"is he?"

"JJ, please don't pretend that you don't know what is going on?"

"Sir, I don't –"

"JJ, I know you have a personal relationship with Reid."

JJ sighed and looked at Hotch's desk, then met his dark and stern eyes. JJ thought she detected a bit of sympathy and even some gladness in them before the walls crashed down again.

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, we were going to tell you at some point but –"

Hotch held up a hand to stop her. "I understand your reluctance. There's no rule against agent fraternization unless it is superior and subordinate. You and Reid have kept your work relationship professional, and I appreciate it. If you continue in the same vein, I don't see a problem with you staying on the same team."

'Thank you, sir."

"Now, how is Reid?"

"He was with me this morning when he got the call from Bennington. He's distraught, but I think he'll be okay."

JJ left her chair and began to pace back and forth. "God, I wish I could be there with him. I know it's not possible because of work, and I'm not going to ask for special treatment because Reid can't take me with him to see his mother, anyway. I wish that I could meet her again, Hotch, and be there for both."

"JJ, please sit."

"Oh, sorry, sir."

"It's okay. I want to tell you that I understand. I also wanted to make it clear that if you genuinely care for Reid, do whatever you have to do to make him your priority, always, not just in times of crises."

JJ nodded and kept back the words she wanted to say. Hotch had his challenges with home life and his job. She sighed again and said. "Thank you for understanding, Hotch."

"You're welcome. Now, do you two plan to tell the rest of the team?"

"It's up to Spence, Sir. I won't push him to tell them before he's ready. You know how he feels about Morgan and his teasing."

Hotch finally smiled a little. "Yes, but it's going to come out whether or not he wants to deal with Morgan."

"You're right. I'll talk to Reid when he returns."

"Good. Are you going to be able to concentrate on work?"

"Yes," JJ said firmly. "It'll take my mind off worrying about Spence."

"Then get to work."

"Yes, sir."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

The afternoon sun descended toward the desert when the rental car Spencer Reid drove from McCarron International Airport pulled into the parking lot at Bennington. Reid parked, then sat for several minutes looking out into sunlight so bright it hurt his eyes. Even on the last day of January, the sun in Las Vegas was intense enough for sunglasses.

When Reid entered the lobby, signed in, and headed up to the second floor, he saw a few residents he recognized from his last visit. A nurse with auburn hair in a ponytail, green eyes, and a friendly smile nodded to him and said, "Hello, Dr. Reid."

"Hello, Myrna."

A family passed between them, and one of the children, a little girl with blond hair and a red dress, looked up at him, and her lips began to tremble. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she began to cry. The man with her gave Reid an odd look, picked up the little girl, and hurried away. Reid sighed and wondered why he had such an effect on children.

"I heard about your mom," Myrna said.

"What? Oh, yes. Um, yeah, I just got here from DC."

"I saw Jerry a minute ago. Let me tell him you're here."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Reid continued down a hall until he arrived at an intersection that led him toward a junction. He went left, and at the halfway point, found his mother's room. Reid was about to tap on the door when he noticed it was half-open. He did knock and pushed it all the way inward.

Dianna's room was empty. The bed was unmade, but someone had tided the blankets and sheets. He scanned the sofa across from her bed, a bookcase full of her favorite books, and a small closet. Reid's eyes drifted to the night table next to her bed that contained a lamp, a container of Kleenex, a large mug of water, and some folded paper.

Reid recognized the paper as the stationery he used to write to her, and the sight of one of her letters out in the open as if she'd just read it tore at his heart. He gulped back tears and turned around for the hallway outside the door.

A young man left the room next to Dianna's room and stopped when he noticed Reid. "Oh, I was just coming to see you, Dr. Reid."

"Hello," Reid waved at Jerry, a male nurse who had worked with Dianna for several years.

Jerry was tall and more muscular than Morgan. He wore his wavy hair about an inch past his jawline. His eyes were brown, and Reid knew that he looked intimidating but was a teddy bear. Jerry cared deeply for all his patients and would do anything to make them comfortable.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you came in. We had an incident with a combative patient after lunch."

"It's fine, but I wondered where my mom is."

"Dianna wanted to go out into the sun, and since it's a warm day, we bundled her into a wheelchair and took her out into the courtyard for a few minutes."

"Then she's well enough to be out of bed."

"She insisted on getting up because Dr. Norman told her you were coming. I'm glad you're here, Dr. Reid."

Reid swallowed hard. "Um, how is she otherwise?"

"We've got her cough under control, and she finally agreed to eat breakfast. She wants you to see her strong. That's why I'm so grateful you're here. Dianna's spirits are much better today."

Reid felt a little of the weight drop away from his shoulders at this news. "I'm glad.

"You know how to get out to the courtyard."

"Yes."

CMCMCMCMCM

Dianna Reid sat with a book open in her lap. Jerry had wrapped her in a blanket over her pink robe, and Dianna wore slippers with her pajamas and fluffy socks. Someone had combed out her hair, but Reid could see that it needed washing. He hoped that she'd be well enough for a controlled shower in the next couple of days instead of what she always called spit bathing.

"Mom," Reid greeted when he walked out into the sunshine.

"Spencer." Dianna greeted and attempted to get up.

"No, stay there," Reid said when the effort made her cough a little.

"I hate this stupid chair," Dianna said.

"I know."

"Come over here and let me look at you," Dianna encouraged.

Spencer approached his mother and saw as he crouched down to hug her that she was very pale and tired. There were circles under her eyes, but those eyes smiled at him when he pulled away.

"You look tired," they both said at the same time.

Reid laughed, and Dianna chuckled a little, then coughed again. "I'm sorry," Reid said as he hovered over her.

"Don't apologize," Diana said. "I feel better looking at you."

"I'm glad, mom."

Spencer moved his mom to one of the white-painted cast iron benches in the sun. He positioned her so they could talk and then sat.

"Are you warm enough, Mom?"

Diana reached for his hand and clenched it tight. "I am fine. I hate sitting in that room and that bed. The sunlight makes me happy."

"Alright."

"You do look tired, baby. Are you sleeping enough?"

"Most nights, but with the job, it's tough to sleep a solid eight hours."

"They're working you too hard, Spencer. I don't like it."

Reid sighed and squeezed her hand. "I love my job, mom. I want to help people."

Dianna frowned, then she smiled. "You've always put others first. I love that about you, but it makes me worry. I don't want you to become ill."

"I won't."

Diana narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down. "Jennifer's taking care of you, I see."

"Yes."

Reid nodded, and his mother clapped her hands a little. "I'm so glad. When you started to write about her every day, I was so happy for you. I sensed how much you love her."

"I do, mom."

"What?" Diana watched him with curious eyes. "What are you thinking.

"I can't believe that she finally noticed me. I never thought she would and that I'd spend my entire life wanting to be with her."

"Of course, she noticed you. I could see it in her eyes when I was in your round table room."

Reid smiled at his mother's name for their conference room. "You did?"

"Well, yes, you are like two flames. You burn bright for each other. I knew that soon you'd figure out how to burn together."

"Mom!"

"What?"

"I guess I never thought you'd say such a thing to me about a woman."

Diana grinned at him and said, "Baby, I'm your mother, but I understand the attraction of two people. How do you think you got here?"

Reid felt his face heat. "Mom."

Diana chuckled, coughed, and then put up a hand when Reid began to rise. "I'm alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and don't change the subject. I want to hear all about Jennifer."

"She's fantastic and wonderful, beautiful, and wise. She has secrets, though, and I wonder if –"

"Jennifer will confide in you when it's time."

"I know. I only want to help. I want to be there for JJ, as she's been there for me."

"It's not a contest, Spencer. You're meant for each other, which means that you'll find your way."

"We are. It's just difficult because I want JJ to be happy all the time."

"Baby, no matter how much you love someone, you can't expect to make them happy all the time. Our sorrows and challenges make us better people. The strongest personalities have the most scars. I know that for a fact."

Reid studied Diana as she wiped a solitary tear from her cheek. "I know you're right. I'm looking at one right now."

"Thank you, Spencer, but if I were strong, I wouldn't be in this place. I'd be out in the world, taking my meds every day and fighting the voices."

"Mom."

"Spencer!"

"No, I won't let it go this time. You are strong and willful and the best mother in the world. I love your sense of humor and that you refuse to give in."

"Baby. Don't make me cry."

"I am sorry, but I can't let you believe that because you are here where you get wonderful care, that you are weak."

Diana smiled and patted his hand. "I can see that arguing with you is useless."

'It is."

Diana laughed and spoke. "Well, you've certainly become more confident. I so proud of you, and I want to thank Jennifer."

"Really."

"Yes, she's brought out the confidence in you that I always knew simmered below the surface. I want to tell her thanks."

"She wanted to come to visit you, but –"

"I know. It's not the right time, but soon we will meet."

Jerry walked out onto the courtyard. "Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt –"

"But you have to take me back," Diana sighed.

"Yes. We don't want you to overdo it."

"Alright, but I want Spencer to push me."

Jerry grinned at Reid. "Sweet, I get a break."

Diana gave Jerry a look that made Reid chuckle, "He has a smart mouth," she said to Reid.

"And she loves it," Jerry said.

"Sometimes I do," Diana said, and they all laughed.

After Jerry had Diana back in bed after a trip to the bathroom, he left them alone. "Baby?"

"Yes, mom."

"Would you pick out a book and read to me. I know that it's a mother's job to read –"

Reid held up a hand to stop her. "I'd love to read something."

Reid found one of her favorite novels and sat down to read it. After ten minutes, she was sleeping. He put the book aside and leaned over to kiss her.

"Love you, mom."