Chapter 12: The Ceremony
A/N: Just a note on the timeline for this story:
Chapters 1-5 Wedding Weekend: Two weeks before Memorial Day Weekend (May 8-11)
Chapters 6-7 The Next Weekend: May 16-18
Chapter 8, Pt 1: Monday after "the Next Weekend": One week before Memorial Day (May 19)
Chapter 8, Pt 2: Memorial Day Weekend: Red Sox game (May 24) and barbeque with Jane's family (May 26)
Chapter 9, Pt 1: Jane drops Maura off at airport: Tuesday morning after Memorial Day (May 27)
Chapter 9, Pt 2: Jane gets injured: Weekend after Memorial Day Weekend (June 7-8)
Chapter 9, Pt 3: Maura's Conference and Gia's Birthday: Two weekends after Memorial Day Weekend (June 14)
Chapter 10: Maura's impromptu visit: Wednesday night about a week and a half after Gia's birthday (June 25)
Chapter 11, Pt. 1: Jane visits D.C.: The weekend after Maura's impromptu visit (June 21-22)
Chapter 11, Pt. 2: Phone sex: Weekend before 4th of July (June 28)
Chapter 11, Pt. 3: Fourth of July Week: Jane is in DC from Tuesday, July 1 to Tuesday, July 8th; party is on Saturday, July 5
Chapter 12, Pt, 1: Jane invites Gia to the ceremony: Friday after Jane's return from D.C. (July 11)
Chapter 12, Pt. 2: Gia travels to D.C.: The next Wednesday; about a week after Jane returns from D.C. (July 16)
Chapter 12: Pt. 3: Boston Salute to Heroes Ceremony: Thursday a little over a week after Gia's trip to D.C. (July 24)
Jane
"Rizzoli!" Cavanaugh called across the bullpen.
"Sir?" Jane responded, standing up from her desk.
"Do you remember that you are provided a table at the Boston Salute to Heroes ceremony? The department expects you to fill it – all eight seats," Cavanaugh explained. "You also have to ask someone to pin the medal on your chest."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jane said tiredly. Then, realizing she probably shouldn't be so flippant to her boss, she added, "Thank you, sir. I will make sure to invite my family. Uh, do you, Korsak, and Frost already have seats?"
"I do," Cavanaugh answered. "I have to sit with the brass."
Jane smirked at the annoyance she could hear in her boss's voice but didn't comment since they were at work. This is one reason she liked working for Cavanaugh. He may officially be part of the brass, but he was a detective at heart. He would always be one of them, and he would always have their backs.
"Alright, but I can invite Korsak and Frost?" she asked.
"Yeah, if you want them there," he replied.
"Yes, two more down," Jane said. "With myself, Ma, Pop, Frankie, Korsak, and Frost, I only have two seats left."
Cavanaugh chuckled at her antics but left to allow her to finish her day.
After work, Jane dropped heavily onto the couch when she arrived back at her apartment. She still had two seats left to fill at her table. One of them would go to Gia, but she had to find someone to fill the other one since both Frankie and Frost had refused to bring a date. She wanted to invite Maura, but she was still having doubts about Maura's feelings for her. Even though she really didn't want this award, she knew it was a big thing for her career. The department was likely to bring it up for years to come. If she invited Maura and they didn't work out, did she really wanted to be reminded of it every time someone brought up the award? Normally, this isn't the kind of thing she would even consider bringing a date to, but Maura wasn't just another date. Maura was the woman she loved.
Jane sighed in frustration, but in the end, she decided that she didn't want the constant reminder of her life falling apart for her entire career. She sent Gia a text, inviting her to the ceremony: Hey, G. Soooo, I was nominated for the Salute to Heroes award, which I think you already knew. Anyway, I get a table, and I was hoping you'd attend. My boss says I have to fill the table, so bring a date?!
Gia: I'll be there! I know how you feel about being called a hero, J, but this is a big honor.
Jane: {eye roll} Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks though.
Gia: Who else are you inviting?
Jane: Ma, Pop, Frankie, Frost, Korsak, you and your date.
Gia: Wait, what about Maura?
Jane: No, I just invited people in Boston.
RING! RING! RING!
Jane rolled her eyes as she answered Gia's call. She sighed audibly into the phone to make a point, but Gia ignored her.
"Hey, J!" Gia greeted cheerily.
"Hi," Jane said.
"Talk to me," Gia said. "What's the real reason you aren't inviting Maura?"
Even though Gia couldn't see her, Jane shrugged. "She lives in Virginia," she obfuscated.
"Since when has that mattered?" Gia asked. "You guys have been flying back and forth for weeks. I'm sure she'd come for something like this if you just asked."
"Well, I'm not going to ask!" Jane snapped. "So, let it go!"
"Jane," Gia sighed. "What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Jane said.
"What if I bring beer?" Gia suggested.
"I still don't want to talk about it, but I'm more than willing to get drunk," Jane said.
"Have you eaten?" Gia asked.
"Not since lunch," Jane answered.
"Alright, I'll be there in half an hour," Gia said. "Just don't get drunk until I get there, okay?"
"Fine, but I'm still not talking about Maura," Jane said.
"Then I'll just keep you company while you sulk," Gia said. She didn't want for Jane's response before hanging up the phone.
True to her word, Gia was standing outside Jane's door with a pizza and beer half an hour later.
"Hey," Jane said as she opened the door for Gia. She threw herself back on the couch while Gia kicked the door closed behind her.
Gia set the pizza and two beers on the coffee table before walking into the kitchen to put the rest of the six-pack in the fridge. When she returned, she sat down next to Jane and handed her a napkin. Jane had already helped herself to a piece of pizza and was sitting on the couch. Gia looked over her friend. She noticed that Jane looked tired. She had only talked to Jane through texts since she had returned to D.C. on Tuesday, so she hadn't noticed that anything was off. While most people might be able to tell that Jane was tired, very few would be able to read her body language like Gia could. Gia could see her sadness in the way she drew her legs up to her body, even while she ate; she could see the defeat in the slump of her shoulders; and she could see the hurt and confusion in the furrowing of her eyebrows.
She let Jane eat in silence for a few minutes, knowing from experience that Jane was always in a better mood once she'd had some food. Once Jane picked up her third piece, Gia asked, "What happened with Maura?"
"Nothing happened," Jane answered.
"I know that's not true," Gia said.
"No really, nothing actually happened; that's the thing," Jane said. "She was great all week. We had a lot of fun together. I-I-I, um, I realized that I'm in love with her," she admitted, a few tears escaping her eyes. Jane brushed them away angrily. "But she doesn't feel the same way."
"You told her?" Gia asked gently.
Jane shook her head. "No, I overheard her talking to Susie," she said. "They were talking about long-term relationships, and Maura said that she doesn't do long-term relationships. She said that she's always found relationships to be more harmful than positive. She said that sex is a necessity, but long-term relationships are not."
"Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry," Gia said honestly. "What did she say when you asked her about it?"
"I didn't," Jane said. "I couldn't. It was too hard. I just tried to enjoy the rest of the trip with her. I think it's better if I just let things end naturally."
"What does that mean?" Gia asked.
"Just that we're still texting, and if she asks, I'll make a decision then about whether or not I want to see her, but I'm not going to initiate contact," Jane said. "I'm not going to invite her to come here, especially not for an award ceremony."
"I'm really sorry, Jane," Gia said. "I still think you should talk to her, but I know how scary it is to think someone might not return your feelings."
Jane nodded. She wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling them closer to her chest, and resting her chin on her knees.
Gia decided to drop the topic unless Jane brought it back up. "Okay, so why do I have to be the one to bring a date? Can't you make Frankie or Frost bring someone?"
Jane laughed. "I tried. I got shot down hard. Apparently, it would be weird to bring someone to that kind of event for a first date."
"Yeah, so why do you think it wouldn't be weird for me?" Gia asked incredulously.
Jane smirked. "I don't, but I knew you'd have a hard time saying no if you knew you were my last resort."
Gia rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks!" she said sarcastically.
Jane sighed and Gia could hear the defeat in her voice. "If you don't want to, you don't have to. I just have to find someone," she said.
"It's okay, J," Gia said, reaching out her hand to place a comforting touch on Jane's knee. "I'll find someone. Just don't be mad if I bring Carlos."
Jane laughed. "Honestly, I don't care at all if you bring your brother as long as I don't have to find someone," she admitted.
Gia laughed. "Alright, well, do you want to watch a movie? I can't let you sulk alone on a Friday night."
Jane nodded and reached for the remote. Gia got rid of the pizza box and brought them each a fresh beer. Before she sat down, she threw a blanket at Jane. "Thanks," Jane mumbled. Gia was worried about Jane, but she was determined to be the friend Jane needed right now.
Maura
Maura found herself playing with her pen as she tried to finish her paperwork. She tried to focus on the report pulled up on her computer screen, but her mind kept drifting. Jane had left a little over a week ago. Nothing seemed to have gone wrong, but Jane's texts were getting increasingly casual? surface level? friendly instead of romantic? Maura couldn't quite place her finger on what felt off about the texts or about their phone conversations. Jane was always nice and pleasant. She promptly returned Maura's texts, and answered her calls, but it still didn't feel quite right.
She sighed as she threw her pen down and buried her face in her hands. She wasn't sure what to do, but she missed Jane. They didn't have another visit planned. Maura had to work this past weekend and next weekend since she had the holiday weekend off, so she couldn't go to Boston. She also wasn't sure whether Jane would want to come to D.C. again since she had been her twice in as many weeks.
Maura jumped when there was a knock on her door. Picking up her head and straightening her blouse, she called out, "Come in."
She was shocked at the person who entered her office. "Hello, Gia," Maura greeted politely, standing to shake her hand.
"Hi, Maura," Gia said brightly. "I'm sorry to stop by unannounced, but I didn't know what else to do."
"It's okay," Maura said slowly. "Is everything okay? Wait, is Jane okay?!" Her panic started to rise quickly as different scenarios flashed through her mind.
Gia held her hands in front of her as if telling Maura to stop. "No, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to scare you. Jane's…Jane's fine. I, um, I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch. I'm only in the city for the day. We're looking at franchising here in D.C. I don't have lunch plans, so I thought I'd see if you were free. It's okay if you aren't, though. No pressure."
"Oh," Maura said, stalling. In all honesty, she did have time to get lunch, but she wasn't sure how she felt about going to lunch with Gia. Of course, Gia was important to Jane, so by extension, she was important to Jane because Jane was important to Maura. However, she wasn't great with other people and given her previous jealousy of Gia's relationship with Jane, the idea of spending one-on-one time with Gia made her nervous. In the end, her upbringing and her love for Jane won out. "Okay, yes, I have time for lunch. Let me just grab my purse."
Maura gathered her things and followed Gia out the door, locking her office behind them. As they made their way out of the building, Maura asked, "How did you get in the building?"
Gia laughed. "Susie," she told Maura. "I invited her too, but she was busy."
Maura nodded knowing how much work Susie had right now.
They made polite small talk as they walked to a nearby restaurant. Once they were settled and had ordered their lunches, Gia brought up the reason she had decided to talk to Maura, but she didn't want to scare Maura away. She started simple. "Do you have plans to visit Boston anytime soon?" she asked.
Maura shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Not at the moment, but I'd really like to come soon. I miss Jane," she admitted softly.
"She misses you too," Gia told her.
Maura nodded, but she wasn't so sure she believed Gia. "I'm honestly not sure if I should invite myself or wait for Jane to invite me," she said softly, surprised at her own honesty.
"Well, if you want to come visit, why not just ask?" Gia said, tilting her head in confusion. She studied Maura for a few moments. She didn't know the other woman well, but Maura's body language screamed discomfort and uncertainty. However, it didn't seem like this uncertainty was because she wanted to end things with Jane; it truly seemed like she missed Jane.
"I don't want to overstep," Maura said.
"Can I ask you something blunt?" Gia asked.
"Oh, um, sure," Maura said nervously.
"What are you and Jane?" Gia asked. "I mean, where do you see this going?"
Maura looked off to the side, avoiding Gia's intense gaze, willing the tears not to come.
Gia reached out gently and placed her hand on Maura's arm. "You don't have to answer that," she said gently. "But you should know that Jane…she really likes you – like a lot. I've never seen her like this with another person. For weeks, you're all she's talked about. It's kinda annoying actually," she added, drawing a soft laugh from Maura.
Maura was still looking anywhere but at Gia, her hands playing with her silverware, displaying her anxiety.
"I'm sorry, Maura," Gia said. "I didn't come here to bombard you about Jane. I came because I wanted to get to know you. And a little bit to be nosy."
Maura smiled at Gia's honesty. She could see why Jane liked her.
"It's just that Jane seems so sad, and I…" Gia started, but Maura cut her off.
Her face turning quickly to meet Gia's eyes, Maura asked quickly, "What do you mean Jane is sad?"
"Oh, shit," Gia said under her breath; she hadn't meant to out Jane like that. On the other hand, now that she had, she might as well go all in. She took a deep breath before continuing, "She's gonna kill me, so you better be worth me losing my best friend."
"Gia, what's wrong with Jane?" Maura pleaded.
"She's upset that you don't want to be in a relationship with her," Gia said.
"What?" Maura asked, her eyes widening in surprise. "Why would she think that I don't want to be in a relationship with her? I mean, I know I wasn't ready to use the label girlfriends a few weeks ago, but I thought she knew that I…that I…I thought she knew that I cared about her deeply and just needed time. I want to be her girlfriend, and I want her to be my girlfriend. I had actually been planning to bring it up the next time we were together. Has she been sad all this time – all these weeks we've been seeing each other? I thought something was off since her last visit, but before that? I thought we were fine? I thought…" Maura trailed off. She knew she had been rambling. She closed her eyes tightly and rested her head on her hands with her elbows on the table as she tried to gather herself. She didn't want to break down completely in front of Gia.
"It wasn't just that," Gia said. "She honestly doesn't really care about the labels, although it probably added to her uncertainty after she overheard…" Gia paused and sighed. "God, she really is going to kill me. She overheard you talking to Susie at your work party."
Maura lifted her head to look at Gia again. "She heard that?" Maura asked. "But then why would she think I didn't want a relationship?"
"Um, I thought you said that you didn't want a long-term relationship, that you didn't think that long-term relationships were important."
"I told Susie that was what I used to think, but that Jane had changed that for me," Maura stated. "I don't understand."
Gia tilted her head, equally confused. "If I had to guess…"
"I don't guess," Maura cut her off.
Gia smiled. "Well, I do," she said. "If I had to guess, I would guess that she didn't stay to hear the rest of your conversation after she heard the first part. You've probably figured it out by now, but Jane tends to run when she's hurt or scared emotionally."
"I should call her," Maura said, reaching for her purse to pull out her phone.
"Hold on," Gia said. "Do you think this might be a conversation you should have in person?"
Maura's shoulders slumped in disappointment. Gia was right. If Maura was going to tell Jane she loved her for the first time, she didn't really want it to be over the phone. "You're right," she admitted. "But I'm not sure how soon I can get to D.C. Work has been so busy and I have to work this weekend."
A bright smile took over Gia's face, causing Maura to pause her rambling. "What about next Thursday?" she asked.
"I don't know," Maura said. "I'm supposed to work on Thursday and Friday. I could probably come up after work on Friday. Why is something special happening on Thursday?"
Gia nodded but paused as their food arrived. Once the waiter was gone, she continued, "Jane told me that she told you what happened with Hoyt?"
Maura nodded.
"By the way, if anything told me how much you mean to her and how much she trusts you, it was the fact that she told you about that," Gia said. "Anyway, she's getting an award from the city for her work on that case. The award is being presented at the Boston Salute to Heroes Ceremony next Thursday evening."
"But if she didn't invite me, she probably doesn't want me there," Maura argued.
Gia shook her head. "She was scared," Gia explained. "She wants you there. I know she does. In fact, I think she cares more about whether or not you are there than if anyone else is there."
"I don't understand," Maura said weakly.
"Honestly, I can't really explain Jane," Gia said. "Everything that happened with Hoyt…I don't know…I guess she feels like it defines part of who she is, so in her mind, if you rejected her invitation, she'd feel like you were rejecting her. I'm not saying she's right. She's not, but she's not exactly thinking logically."
"I would have said yes," Maura told her quietly. "I wouldn't have rejected her or her invitation."
"I know that, and you know that," Gia said. "But Jane still has some insecurities when it comes to relationships. By the way, if you ever tell her I said that I will deny it until the day I die."
"Is it an invitation only event? Or can I buy a ticket?" Maura asked.
"It's invitation only, but don't worry about that," Gia assured her. "You can be my date."
"I hope you mean that platonically," Maura teased, causing Gia to laugh.
"I think you should surprise her at the ceremony," Gia added. "You can tell her if you want to, but I think she'd love the surprise."
Maura nodded. "Yes, I'll try to keep it a surprise, but I can't lie so if she asks me anything directly about Thursday, I'll probably have to tell her."
"You can't lie?" Gia questioned with a smirk.
"I get hives, and sometimes, I go vasovagal."
"Vasovagal?" Gia asked, confused.
"I faint," Maura clarified.
Gia laughed. "Okay, that kinda sucks."
Maura nodded in agreement. The rest of their lunch passed pleasantly enough. Maura started to realize that she really liked Gia. She'd have to suggest that the three of them spend more time together when Maura was in Boston, but first, she needed to make plans for next weekend.
Jane
Jane was pacing around the bullpen nervously. She was dreading the ceremony tonight, and more than that, she was regretting never having told Maura about it. They had text daily and talked a few times since Jane had told Gia about her feelings. Jane wasn't sure what to think about their relationship. Maura hadn't given any indication that she wanted to end things, and their conversations had been relatively normal, if light.
"Go home, Jane," Cavanaugh said with a sigh. "Go get ready for tonight. You're driving everyone crazy with all your pacing."
"Okay," Jane conceded, knowing that staying around here wasn't helping anything.
"Hey, Rizzoli, did you decide who is going to pin the medal on you tonight?" Cavanaugh asked as she pulled her gun, badge, and phone from her desk.
"Yeah, I asked Korsak," she told him.
"Alright, sounds good," Cavanaugh said. "I'll see you tonight."
"Thanks, boss," Jane said as she headed out.
When she got to her car, she decided to try Maura's cell. She knew there was no way Maura could get to Boston in time for the ceremony, but she at least wanted Maura to know about it before it happened. Maura's phone went directly to voicemail, she sent her a text asking her to call Jane if she had a minute. She decided to try Maura's phone one more time, leaving a message when she got her voicemail.
"Hey, Maur. Um, okay, so I've been an idiot, and I was hoping to talk. I…well, I, um…I'm getting an award tonight. It's for my work on the Hoyt case, which isn't really the point. Anyway, I should have invited you. I wanted to invite you. I want you here, but like I said, I'm an idiot. I got scared." Tears were pouring down her face and she couldn't care less. She paused, huffing out a loud puff of air before continuing. "I know it's too late now, and I'm not asking you to try to get here or anything like it. I was just hoping I could talk to you before the ceremony. I'm really sorry, Maura. I'm so sorry that I've been a dumbass and that I didn't talk to you about my insecurities. I should have just talked to you…" Jane trailed off, not really knowing what to say. She felt like she was rambling, but at the same time, she felt like she hadn't said anything. She wanted to tell Maura how much she loved her, but she didn't want to do that over the phone and especially not on a voicemail.
"Ugh, god, I sound as stupid as I feel right now," Jane admitted. "Anyway, I'm really sorry, and I hope we can talk soon." She hung up the phone and let her head drop to the steering wheel. Deciding she didn't want someone to walk up on her crying in her car at work, she pulled herself together and drove home.
At home, Jane stood in front of her mirror in her dress uniform. She hated having to wear her dress uniform. It was stiff and itchy, and it made her look like a man. She didn't have a choice though; Cavanaugh had made that clear.
With an exaggerated sigh, she grabbed her phone and cap and headed out the door.
Jane stood on the stage, her foot tapping nervously and the lights blinding her, making her unable to see the guests sitting at the tables. The mayor was currently standing at the podium giving a speech about Boston and how important civil servants are to the city. Jane was only half listening as she took in the other people standing on the stage with her. There was a soldier in a wheelchair, having been paralyzed from the waist down as he protected the other soldiers in his unit; there was a high school girl who had developed some new green technology that was going to save the city a ton of money; there was an elderly man who had worked for the city for 65 years and was retiring this year; there was a teacher who had increased the graduation rate at her high school by over 50 percent; and there was Jane, the cop who had caught a serial killer by recklessly putting herself in danger.
As the mayor introduced the next speaker, Jane shifted on her feet, using the distraction to let out some of her pent-up energy. She shook her hands at her side to loosen the tension she had been holding in them, taking a few seconds to rub at her scars before returning her hands politely to her sides.
Jane tried not to let her impatience show as she listened to the soldier's squad leader tell the story of his bravery, as the principal of the high school raved about the teacher's ability to reach high risk students, and as some city official talked about the impact of the high school student's invention. Then it was her turn. She stepped forward as Cavanaugh talked about her achievements in BPD, her bravery, and her selflessness. She tried not to grimace as he shared the horror that Hoyt had brought to the city, and the impact her sacrifice had on his capture.
When everyone clapped at the end of Cavanaugh's speech, Jane turned, expecting to see Korsak walking across the stage to pin her medal. Her jaw dropped and time froze when she saw Maura walking toward her instead. Her eyes locked on Maura's face, her stomach flipping in response to the bright smile Maura was sending her way. Maura stopped in front of her, pinning the medal on her uniform while the audience continued to clap. Maura's hands brushing her chest as she pinned on the medal sent shivers of pleasure up and down Jane's spine. She was so focused on Maura that she didn't even notice her family yelling and clapping embarrassingly loud in the audience. "How did you…?" she trailed off.
Maura flashed her one of those smiles that made Jane melt. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Jane's cheek. "Congratulations, Jane," she said into Jane's ear before she stepped back. Jane returned her smile as Maura made her way back off the stage.
Jane's impatience only increased after seeing Maura. She wrung her hands together to hide some of her jitters. She tried to stay present while the rest of the ceremony was going on, but all she could think about was finding Maura, pulling her close, and thanking her for coming.
Finally, the ceremony ended, and everyone returned to their seats for dinner. Jane smiled when she saw that Maura was seated next to Jane's open chair at their table. Jane ignored everyone else at the table as she sat down next to Maura. They shared a chaste kiss and a smile before Jane asked, "How did you know about this?"
"Gia," Maura said, tilting her head in Gia's direction. "I'm her date," she added with a smirk.
"Oh, you are, huh?" Jane teased.
Gia leaned forward. "You said I could invite whomever I wanted as long as I found someone," Gia said.
"Thank you," Jane said honestly to Gia before returning her attention to Maura. "Thank you for coming. I'm really glad you're here," she said to Maura.
"I'm really glad to be here," Maura said, reaching under the table to take Jane's hand in her own and pulling both of them to rest on her thigh. "We need to talk later, okay? But for now, let's enjoy your celebration," Maura said. When she saw fear cross Jane's face, she added quickly, "It's good. I promise."
Jane nodded, but before she could ask anything further, her mother pulled her attention away from Maura.
With Maura there, Jane truly enjoyed the rest of the evening celebrating with her family and friends, but she also couldn't wait to be alone with Maura.
After Jane had said her goodbyes to everyone, she found Maura standing with Gia and her family. While her family continued to chat, Jane pulled Maura to the side.
"Thank you for coming," Jane said quietly.
Maura smiled at Jane. "I'm really glad I could be here. I'm so proud of you. Also, I hope it's okay if I stay with you," she said as she traced her finger along the collar of Jane's uniform. Jane felt a wave of warmth and another shiver of pleasure rush through her body at the touch.
"You better be staying with me," Jane said as she wrapped her arms around Maura's waist and pulled her close. Maura moved her arms to wrap around Jane's shoulders and closed the distance between their lips. They got lost in the kiss until Jane's mother interrupted their bubble.
"Janie, Maura!" Angela called.
Jane rolled her eyes but led Maura back towards her family. She kept her arm around Maura's waist, her fingers playing with the belt of Maura's dress.
"How long are you in town, sweetie?" Angela asked Maura.
"Until Tuesday," Maura answered, glancing over to Jane to see if she reacted to how long Maura was planning to stay, but she couldn't read the smile that Jane gave her.
"Oh, wonderful," Angela said excitedly. "You'll come to Sunday dinner, right?"
"I would love to," Maura confirmed, feeling Jane pull her closer against her body.
"Great!" Angela responded.
They all exchanged hugs and goodbyes. As Jane's family left, Gia stepped up to them and reminded Maura, "Your bags are still in my car."
"Oh, yes, thank you," Maura said.
"Are you in the parking garage?" Jane asked.
"Yes," Gia said. "Are you parked there too?"
"Yeah, so we can grab Maura's bags from your car," Jane replied as they started walking in the direction of the parking garage.
When they had gotten Maura's bags from Gia's car, Maura stepped to the side to give Jane a moment to talk to Gia in private.
"Thank you," Jane said quietly to Gia.
Gia pulled Jane into a hug. "You're welcome, Jane." As she released her hold on Jane, Gia added, "Now stop being an idiot and tell her how you feel."
Jane glanced in Maura's direction before turning back to Gia. "I will, so no more asking her on dates, okay?" Jane teased, pressing her forefinger into Gia's chest to make her point.
Gia laughed loudly in response. Giving Jane a light shove, she said, "Get out of here. I'll see you sometime next week, okay?"
Jane waved to Gia as she walked back to Maura. She picked up Maura's bags and led her to her parked car.
Maura
Maura smiled at Jane as they climbed into her car. They drove in silence for a few minutes while Jane navigated the parking garage exit and found her way to the main street. Maura reached across the center console to take Jane's hand; she laced their fingers together, letting their hands rest on the console as her thumb swiped back and forth across Jane's knuckles.
Maura let her thoughts drift as she watched the city pass by her window. It always surprised her how much being in Jane's presence calmed her. She knew they had an important conversation ahead of her, but she was no longer scared. In fact, she was excited. She wanted to take this next step with Jane. She wanted to be with Jane completely, in every way possible. She was so lost in thought that she was slightly surprised when they were pulling up to Jane's apartment complex. She let her hand release its grip on Jane's hand, but she immediately missed the connection.
She followed Jane as she carried Maura's bags up to her apartment. Once they were inside, Jane brought the bags right to the bedroom. Setting the bags on the end of her bed, Jane turned to Maura. "I have to get out of my uniform," she said.
Maura let her eyes roam over Jane's body, her hands reaching up to tug on Jane's collar. "What if I'd rather help you remove them?"
"Uhh," Jane breathed out.
Maura stepped back, removing her hands from Jane. "Wait, no," she stumbled. "I mean I do want to do that, but we need to talk first. Before sex, I mean."
Jane smiled at the blush taking over Maura's chest and cheeks. She decided to take mercy on her. "How about next time you can take it off me?" she suggested. Picking up her pajamas, she added, "I'll go change in the bathroom to give you a moment." She flashed a sexy smile at Maura before exiting the room.
Maura let out a loud huff of air as she sat heavily on the bed. Her body was aching for Jane. She had to pull herself together in order to get through the upcoming conversation without jumping Jane. Realizing Jane would be back any minute, Maura stood up and quickly changed out of her dress, hung it in the closet, and put her silk pajamas on. While waiting for Jane to return, she quickly hung her nice clothes in her bag before moving her bag off the bed.
Jane stuck her head into the bedroom. "Do you want to talk in here or out there?" she asked, pointing to the living room.
"Definitely out there," Maura said with a breathy giggle.
Maura and Jane
Jane sat in her usual spot on the couch, but she was disappointed when Maura sat on the far end of the sofa, leaving as much room as possible between them.
Maura saw the flash of hurt and disappointment that crossed Jane's face when she sat away from her. She shifted slightly closer to Jane but not close enough that they were touching. "I'm sorry, Jane," she said quietly. "I'm not sitting away from you because I'm angry or upset with you. I just need a little bit of space in order to think. If we're touching, I'm not sure I will be able to get through this conversation. I-I-I, um, I want you so badly right now."
"It's okay," Jane assured her. She tried to sound nonchalant, but Maura saw her shoulders release the tension they had been holding when Maura told her she wasn't upset with her.
"Jane, I…" Maura started, but Jane cut her off.
Holding up her hand, Jane interrupted Maura, "Wait, can I go first? I'm the one who screwed up, and…and I just want to apologize and explain myself first. If that's okay."
Maura nodded as she pulled her legs up on the couch and tucked them underneath her body.
Jane turned towards Maura so that she could better see her. She crossed her legs in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she started, "I'm really sorry I didn't invite you to the ceremony tonight. I was regretting it all day. I don't know if you listened to my voicemail, but…"
"You left me a voicemail?" Maura questioned. "When?" She started to get up to find her phone, but Jane stopped her.
"You can listen to it later," Jane said. "I'll just tell you what's in it for now. I called mid-afternoon, so if you flew up today, you may have been in the air." Maura nodded to confirm Jane's assumption. "I wanted to tell you how much of an idiot I've been. I, well…okay, please don't be upset, but I overheard you and Susie talking at the 4th of July party. I heard you say that you don't want a long-term relationship and that you've only been hurt by being in relationships."
"You didn't listen long enough," Maura told Jane softly.
"What?" Jane said surprised. She had expected Maura to get mad that she had listened to a conversation she wasn't a part of; she definitely had not expected Maura to tell her she hadn't listened long enough.
Maura sighed. "Jane, I know you heard some of my conversation with Susie at the party. Gia already told me," she explained. "Had you stayed or better yet asked me about the conversation, you would have heard that I've had very negative experiences with relationships in the past, but that it was different with you. I never thought I would feel the need to be a part of a long-term relationship or that a romantic relationship would become so important to me, but now…now, I can't imagine my life without you. Jane, I love you."
"I love you, too," Jane said through her tears. "I'm so sorry that I was such an idiot." She buried her face in her hands, ashamed of her insecurities.
Maura reached forward and gently pulled Jane's hands away from her face. "I'd really prefer if you didn't call my girlfriend an idiot," she said with a smirk. Jane smiled in response and opened her mouth to say something, but Maura beat her to it. "Wait, did you say you love me too?" she said quickly.
Jane laughed. "Yes," she said with a smile. "I love you. I'm in love with you, Maura Isles."
A huge smile graced Maura's face at the same time her tears started flowing. She leaned forward, allowing herself to fall into Jane's open arms. "I love you, too. I love you so much, Jane," She cried into Jane's shoulder. Without moving from Jane's arms, Maura added, "You know you didn't have to say it just because I did, though, right?"
Jane chuckled lightly and pulled Maura closer to her, holding her tight. "I know," she whispered into Maura's hair. "I already wanted to tell you that I love you. You just beat me to it."
Maura smiled against Jane's shoulder. They sat together, just holding onto each other for a few minutes. Maura sat up but shifted closer to Jane so that she was leaning against her side. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's shoulder and pulled her closer. Maura wiped the tears from her face and took a moment to gather herself.
"But Jane, if this is going to work, you need to talk to me. You need to tell me if you're feeling insecure in our relationship or if you're doubting how I feel about you," Maura said.
"I know," Jane said. "It's something I need to work on, but I promise that I'm going to try. I'd like to say that it'll never happen again, but knowing myself, it probably will. I promise to never give up though, and I promise to keep trying, even when I screw up."
"We're both going to make mistakes," Maura said. "It's inevitable when two people commit to being together for a long time, but as long as we keep communicating with each other, I think we'll be okay."
"I think we'll be more than okay," Jane admitted softly.
"Me too," Maura said. "I know I've hesitated to fully commit to you in the past, but I want you to know that I'm no longer going to fight this."
"We'd only known each other a few weeks at that point," Jane said. "I don't blame you. With or without commitment issues, we moved really fast."
"I know," Maura said, "but still, I want you to know that I want this. I want to be in a relationship with you. I want to be your girlfriend, and I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to build a future with you."
"I want that, too," Jane said. She rested her cheek against the top of Maura's head, her fingers drawing idle patterns on Maura's arm. Maura reached out and took Jane's free hand into her own, playing with her fingers as they both fell into their own thoughts.
"I never told you this, but I changed my flight home after the wedding," Maura said softly.
"What?" Jane asked, confused.
"On the Sunday after the wedding, I was supposed to fly home in the morning, but I rescheduled my flight for the last flight of the day."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted to spend the day with you. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you, and I wanted to do something unrelated to the wedding with you. Something that wasn't fake."
Jane placed a soft kiss on the top of Maura's head, resting against her chest. Maura could feel the smile in her kiss. "I really wanted to spend that Sunday with you, too. I've never been so happy not to be called into work."
"I know it was silly," Maura said.
"I'm glad you did it," Jane admitted.
"I have something for you," Maura stated quietly. "It's in my bag." Maura extracted herself from Jane's embrace, walking to the bedroom. She returned with manila folder, sitting back in her spot next to Jane. She snuggled close and handed Jane the folder.
"What is this?" Jane asked as she opened the folder.
"Just read it," Maura said.
Jane looked down at a printed email:
Dear Maura Isles, M.D., Ph.D.:
I am writing to offer you the position of Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Appointment of the Chief Medical Examiner is based upon job history, research, recommendations, interviews, and the candidates' future potential. The committee was impressed with your credentials and your work as an assistant medical examiner in the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner for the city of Washington, D.C. We received numerous positive recommendations, and we were impressed with your presentation and how you responded to questions during your interview.
The position of the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth is appointed by the governor with recommendation by the selection committee.
Jane stopped reading and looked up at Maura in shock. Maura was sitting next to her, slightly leaning against her arm as Jane read the letter. Maura was starting to get nervous, wondering if she had made a mistake in springing this on Jane without having told her that she was interviewing in the first place. She started to chew on her bottom lip and fidget with her rings while she waited for Jane to respond.
"Are you serious?" Jane asked.
Maura nodded but didn't meet Jane's eyes. "I'm sorry I hadn't told you that I was in the running for the position," she said quietly to her lap.
Jane reached out and lifted her chin to Maura had to meet her gaze. "It's okay; we were still new," Jane assured her. "But how did this happen? I know for a fact that this is a months long process."
"It is," Maura said. "I had already applied for the position before we met. In fact, my final interview was the Friday of the weekend we met. I had already had numerous interviews and assessments at that point, but apparently, they needed one more. Then, they needed two months to make a decision. Anyway," Maura continued with a shake of her head as though clearing her thoughts, "I wasn't sure if I was going to take it, even if it was offered; that is, until I met you. Jane, I'm serious about wanting to build a life with you. I want to move to Boston, and I want to date you for real – not this flying back and forth nonsense – but I only want that if it's what you want too."
Jane was crying again. Nodding, she said, "I do want that. I want that so much." She pulled Maura into a big hug. They cried on each other's shoulders as they held onto each other.
They both sat back up. Maura wiped her face. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "The position wouldn't start until October 1st, so I guess we will have to do a few more months of flying back and forth."
"I'm really glad you added that we were still going to fly back and forth during that time because if you were going to tell me I wouldn't be able to see you until you move here in September, I think I would die.
Maura laughed. "I couldn't do that either," she admitted. "However, neither of us would actually die," she added, although she wasn't sure if she believed it. I scheduled a meeting with the medical examiner's office on Monday, which is why I don't fly home until Tuesday."
"Are you going to take it?" Jane asked.
"I'd like to, yes," Maura said.
"Can I ask you something and you won't take it the wrong way?"
Maura laughed. "Sure."
"You said you hadn't planned to take the job even if it was offered. You're not taking it just because of me, right? Because I never want to hold you back in your career or in life. If there's another job that you think would be a better fit, we'll figure it out together."
Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders and smiled at her. Jane responded by placing her hands on Maura's hips. "No, I'm not taking the job because of you, but I do appreciate you saying that. This is actually my dream job. I had been hesitant about taking it because I was afraid of coming back to Boston. I had very few good memories here before I met you."
Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura hard. Maura pulled her closer, deepening the kiss as she slid her tongue into Jane's mouth.
"I'm so excited to see where this goes," Maura said as she removed her lips from Jane's.
"Me too," Jane whispered. "I love you so much, Maura."
"I love you, too, Jane," Maura responded as she closed the remaining distance between her and Jane.