Christmas Eve by the seaside had its perks. Hazel was curled up under a blanket, perfectly cozy in Muggle clothes with a cup of tea in her hand. She was watching the gentle snowfall outside, tiny snowflakes whipping past the bay window and rejoining the ocean. A hearty fire was crackling in the fireplace, casting a soft glow over the room. The cottage was just as nice as she remembered it.

I should drop in to Grimmauld Place tomorrow. It'll be loud and chaotic but it'll be Christmas. Her thought was interrupted by a knock at the door. Cautiously, she had her wand at the ready, wondering who could possibly be tracking her down this late at night on Christmas Eve. One of the Order, perhaps? The only thing that gave her comfort was the fact that Death Eaters wouldn't knock.

"Sev, what are you doing here?" she laughed as she pulled the door open, telling him to get in the house before he let too much cold air inside.

Dusting the snow off of himself, Snape hung his cloak next to the door. "You asked me to join you for the holiday. I assume the invitation is still open." He stepped inside, dark eyes sweeping over the little cottage. It was just as charming as she'd described it, full of warmth and light, all fresh linen and lavender and the faint echoes of salty ocean air.

"Of course, I just didn't expect to see you." She reached out to hug him, pulling him over to the fire. "Sit, warm yourself up. If you apparated, I assume you're not frozen solid, but - here." She draped a blanket over his shoulders, hoping it would be enough.

"The homes on Spinner's End do have heat now," he smiled, still grateful for the gesture. "How have you been?"

As much as they talked, they could both tell that they were talking around something. Snape had planted himself as far away from her as he could during the last breakfast of the term. Both of them had gotten wrapped up in making sure their students and all of their belongings, animals, and everything else made it onto the Hogwarts Express in time. And then they had been some of the only people in a nearly-empty castle. Snape disappeared, heading for Spinner's End just a couple of hours after the Hogwarts Express puled out of Hogsmeade Station. Hazel tried to bring herself to write - they both did - but had no idea what to say.

"Sev," she finally asked, "why are you here?"

Taken aback, he raised an eyebrow. "You invited me."

She pursed her lips. He was avoiding the question, and he knew it. "Why did you take me up on it? Especially after… whatever that night was."

"I'm sorry. The last time - the last time anything like that happened, you and I went our separate ways. We had to. It was the end of an era, or so we thought." Hazel reached out for his hand, Snape smiling tenderly. "Frankly it terrified me. What it was, what it could mean. I didn't want to think about it, but it plagued me."

"Are we still talking about our seventh year?"

She had let him in. It was a good sign. He hadn't driven her away completely. There was hope even if there wasn't a lot of it. "Yes and no."

It was her turn to lean in, giving him a gentle kiss and finally cutting through the tension in the air. "Sev, it's fine."

"How long?"

"What?" she frowned, trying to puzzle out what he meant.

"How long have you... cared?"

Hazel reached out for him, her expression softening as she draped her arms over his shoulders. "I realized the moment I saw you in that forest. Rosier had stunned me. I think he thought I was dead, there were that many curses flying around. Mad-Eye had already charged past and thrown him to the ground. Someone sent a Killing Curse past us, and it lit up the shadows and I saw you. I realized you'd been with them the whole time. And when I realized I couldn't kill you. And when I heard they'd captured you. And when… when we were sixth years, after Remus and I had decided we were better off as friends and you and I -" She dropped it, pulling him closer and kissing him again. "Your turn."

"Seventh year, before the ball. We went as friends, or so we told everyone. Or so we told ourselves. I think both of us weren't going to say anything otherwise, even to each other. When I saw you in the woods - I was the one to unfreeze you. I knew you would let me escape," he explained, fighting the urge to kiss her. Not quite yet. He could wait a few more seconds. "I had turned double agent by then. You were the one thing that reminded me - the one person still living who reminded me of the good in the world. Dumbledore was mercy. You were kindness."

Those were the last words spoken between them for a long time. They echoed in Hazel's ears as they embraced again, only to be replaced by the rustle of fabric, the careful, deliberate undoing of buttons, the delicate touch that danced over her skin. The shallow, steady breaths that turned into ragged sighs, the gentleness turned into cautious force as he swept her up from the sofa, laying her down in bed. The dull ache of longing that only got worse as they shed another layer. "Severus," she groaned as his mouth strayed down to her chest.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He shifted slightly, his lips grazing her ear, the movement of his body against hers bringing her close to moaning already.

"Please. Please, yes. Sev, I - oh..." The hand that was in his hair moved to his shoulder, digging into his back as her breath caught in her throat. "Oh, Sev, shit, I - whatever you do, please don't stop."

Sunlight streaming into the room woke them up, Hazel lacing her fingers with his as he held her close. Neither of them wanted to get up, much less move. They were perfectly warm, and perfectly content to stay there. "Happy Christmas," Snape mumbled in a gravelly voice, still halfway asleep.

"Happy Christmas to you too," she smiled, sitting up so she could look at him. Her smile faded as she noticed the pattern of scars criss-crossing his back. She reached out and traced one that ran down his shoulder, markings that she hadn't noticed in the darkness the night before. "Sev? What happened to you?"

Looking up at her, he wasn't too happy to explain. It brought back too many bitter memories, things he tried to forget, tried in vain to run from. "It was hardly a happy childhood. But that one's from the explosion in sixth year, when we sent brass shrapnel all over the Room of Requirement and had to explain it to Madam Pomfrey. Some of the others are from my time as a Death Eater. And James Potter and his gang. Nothing pleasant."

"Ah." She drew the blankets up around herself, glancing at the black tattoo on his arm. She would never be able to bring herself to like it. "I'm sorry, Sev. I'm sorry I can't fix the past."

"You made it better," he assured her, sitting up and giving her a tender kiss. "And you're making the present better too. May I ask you something?"

"Of course. Anything."

"Last night - was it - am I..."

"Wonderful," she answered, kissing him again.

"Right, er, good. I've only ever - I'm not the kind of person who..." For once, the man always ready with a witty reply seemed to have lost his way with words. "I'm not..."

"Sev, you don't need to feel obligated to tell me everything. You don't owe me explanations, or -"

Snape cut her off, pulling her into his arms. This had been weighing on him. Everything had been weighing on him. He'd fallen into a cult of Purebloods and become the dirtiest thing of all, a traitor, a spy, something either side could easily hate. He'd tried to redeem himself, but he still couldn't see what she saw in him. He was nothing, still alive because of the grace of a man who knew he would be useful. It would have been a mercy for Dumbledore or Voldemort to have killed him. And yet, here he was, lying in bed next to someone who had only ever been good. She had only killed to save lives, and not in the way Voldemort espoused. Compared to him, she was a saint. She had chosen him. She had chosen to ask him to stay. She had chosen to welcome him into her life again, even after knowing everything he'd done. She trusted him with her life. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You've been nothing but -"

"Everything."

"Sev, I know you made horrible, horrible choices. I know Dumbledore still asks you to do horrible things. I know so much of why you are the way you are is because I should've done something more about James and Sirius. I don't know, gone to Dumbledore or something. But I didn't, and I'm sorry." He felt her breath catch in her chest, grateful that she couldn't look him in the eye. "A bullied, hurt child can turn in to a hurt, vindictive adult. It doesn't excuse anything, but you're trying. You've done enough. You don't need redemption, not on a grand scale. You've atoned enough. Dumbledore - this war isn't the only way to make up for everything you've done. All the self-sacrifice and... you're allowed to be happy sometimes. Your whole life shouldn't be this war."

Letting go of her, he sat back. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"Stay. You deserve a holiday, a real holiday. As real as we can make it, anyway. No thinking about Dumbledore or Harry Potter or Voldemort and the Death Eaters. You deserve to rest and watch the snow and have someone care about you," she insisted. "Stay here. We can magic up a Christmas tree and everything."

Snape couldn't help but to smile. "Alright. Hazel?"

"Hmm?"

"About James and Sirius... you did what you could. I cannot blame you for anything. You... I'm thankful you never joined them." He stood, wrapping a blanket around himself and going to stare out the window. "Lily did. I should have realized it then. Our friendship was over well before I called her a... The first time she joined Potter, I should have seen it then."

Hazel joined him, Snape giving her part of the blanket. "We were young. She could do no wrong in your eyes."

"Still... thank you." He planted a kiss on the top of her head before turning back to the window to watch the snow fall.

They spent a lazy day watching the snow fall, eventually cooking a small Christmas dinner and, "a holiday blancmange. It's the first one I've ever made, so if it's bad, well, we can try again. But I think I got it right. I hope I got it right."

A lazy day turned into a lazy week, Snape staying with her until the new year. They spent their days inside, reading or grading exams on the sofa together in front of a constantly-crackling fire. When they got tired of sitting, they would put their cloaks on, going for walks by the cliffside, once even venturing down to the sea to watch snow fall and dissolve in the churning water. They would return to the cottage, slightly frozen but still smiling. Even when they were supremely sleepy and their nights weren't filled with passion, they would curl up together, dozing off to the sound of the sea. For the first time in a long time, they were able to very nearly forget about Umbridge and her oppressive regime, about Voldemort's return, about everything they would be facing as the next term began. They were able to be genuinely happy, genuinely content, even if it was just for a little while.