DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.
The rating of this story has CHANGED from T to M now, due to sexual content. Please bare this warning in mind if you decide to continue reading.
~0~0~0~0~0~
After a particularly long day, Natasha had been looking forward to nothing more than cuddling on the couch with Steve whilst they 'watched' a movie. The thought had been the only thing that kept her going, the light at the end of the tunnel. But, when the elevator doors pinged open, and her eyes landed on Steve already sitting on the couch, her heart sank when she saw he wasn't alone.
"Hey, Natasha!" Sam waved in greeting from where he sat at Steve's side. Both men were facing the television, with small white steering wheels in their hands. If Sam was confused to see her there, simply strolling into Steve's floor as if she lived there - which, to be fair, she basically did - he didn't show it.
"Um, hi." Natasha said, glancing at Steve who gave her an apologetic look. Clearly, he hadn't planned an afternoon with Sam, but knowing Steve, he'd been far too polite to kick his friend out.
So, hoping that whatever they were doing would finish soon, Natasha headed for the kitchen. "You boys want anything?"
"Another beer, if you're offering!" Sam called, as a various selection of loud noises came from the TV. "Oh, come on, Rogers, that's cheating!"
"Steve?" Natasha asked, grabbing two beers from the fridge. If she was going to have to wait, she definitely needed a drink - or five.
Steve looked over his shoulder and flashed her a smile. "I'm fine, thank you, Nat." The nickname slipped from his mouth so effortlessly, and Sam was far too involved in whatever game they were playing to comment on it. If it had been Tony, they'd never hear the end of it. But, if it had been the billionaire genius sat there on the sofa, Natasha probably would have asked him to leave, regardless of the questions that would be asked.
Joining them and passing Sam his beer, Natasha flopped down on the armchair and threw her legs over the sides, sitting with her back pressed against the other arm. She looked at the TV screen and asked, "What exactly are you playing?"
"MarioKart," Sam explained, violently rotating his small steering wheel to the right. "Ha, eat my dust Cap!"
Natasha raised an eyebrow as she watched the tiny figures on the TV, perched in tiny, strange-looking racing cars. They were dodging what looked like shells, even though she supposed that made sense, and were whizzing around a path that looked as if it was made out of a rainbow, in the middle of space. There was the occasional banana dotted around too, which when the cars ran over it, they'd spin out of control for a few seconds.
"Oh, yeah?" Steve asked, his competitive side clearly evident in the smug grin on his face. His character, which could only be explained as some sort of large monkey, shot a shell out from the car and knocked Sam's character - a dwarf dressed in red with a big hat - and sent it flying off the side of the road. Sam's screen went black, and then seconds later, his character appeared, being lifted onto the road by a strange creature riding a cloud.
Natasha felt as if her brain was turning to mush with every second that she watched.
After a few more minutes, the game ended. "Refuel, and we'll go again." Sam said, placing his steering wheel down on the coffee table before getting up and stretching his arms over his head, cracking his back. He walked off in the direction of the bathroom.
Instantly, Natasha shot Steve a look that made him chuckle. "What was I supposed to do, Nat?" He asked in amusement. "He's been here just over two hours already."
She snorted. "Well, then, he's had plenty of time with you." She wasn't actually annoyed that Sam was here. She liked Sam. He'd been a good friend to her and Steve, despite trying to set her boyfriend up with any woman that had even looked at Steve at that party last week - which had appeared to have been all of them.
Getting up, she walked over to him, noticing how he watched her every moment with darkening eyes. She crawled into his lap and made sure to kiss him with everything she had, purposefully grinding her hips against his. Steve eagerly returned her kiss, his fingers running through her red hair before his hands came to rest at her waist, squeezing as he encouraged her to keep going.
But, the flush that sounded from the bathroom was a reminder that they weren't alone.
Pulling away from him, Natasha looked down and said, "Half an hour, Rogers." She made sure that her voice was serious, even though she knew her eyes were sparkling.
Steve leaned up to kiss her again, but she pulled away, determined to keep him waiting. If he wanted a games night with Sam, then he wasn't getting her until she was ready. She was sure she heard him huff as she left his lap and collapsed back into the armchair, sitting in the same position as she had just been in.
Sam returned none the wiser, but asked her, "What to join in?"
"I'm not even one hundred percent sure why you two are playing this." She pointed out. "It's a game for children."
"Because it's fun," Steve replied, and she rolled her eyes, earning her a chuckle.
Sam held out the steering wheel towards her. "Come on, Natasha. It's a game where you're supposed to drive recklessly fast. You'll love it." Sam enjoyed nothing more than poking fun at her driving.
She scoffed. "Thanks, but I'll pass."
"Sam, just load the next game." Steve said, looking at her with a grin appearing on his face. "Natasha won't play, because she's the sorest loser in history."
That comment was practically waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Natasha took the bait. "Give me that damn wheel, Sam." She demanded.
Both men exchanged a triumphant look, but Sam passed her the steering wheel before grabbing another one out of the cabinet for himself. He quickly loaded them into a three-player race, whilst trying to give her the basic low-down on how the game actually worked. Steve chimed in every now and then, clearly amused that she had even agreed to play. Natasha stuck her tongue out at him.
She picked a player and went for a motorbike rather than a car, and then they started their first race. It was an easy circuit, according to them, and Natasha soon got the hang of what to do. She didn't win, but she had been close, and clearly both Steve and Sam were surprised that she'd actually tried.
Soon enough, they were in the middle of another game. There were several curse words flown around, from both her and Sam, whilst Steve chided them for their language, as usual. Natasha came second in that race, beating Sam who placed fifth after an unlucky shell had gotten him right at the finishing line.
They played game after game, circuit after circuit, and Natasha shouted in triumph as her character - a sweet little green frog-like creature named Yoshi - finished in first place for the seventh time in a row.
"Damn, looks like being a need for speed in real life has advantages in this game." Sam remarked, sitting back on the couch. "You kicked our asses." She smirked. Sam checked his watch before saying, "Man, look at the time! It's already gone ten."
"A little past your bedtime?" Natasha asked, although she was slightly surprised that the time had passed so quick. She wasn't about to admit that she'd had a good time, but deep down, she knew that she had enjoyed herself.
Sam didn't rise to her taunt, but he did head for the elevator. He waited, as if expecting Natasha to leave, and she froze. Really, she should go. She couldn't think of a good reason for why she would remain on Steve's armchair any longer. It was quite a good thing that Sam hadn't asked her why she'd come down here in the first place.
But, then Sam glanced at Steve and shrugged, hitting the button on the elevator that closed the doors.
As soon as he was gone, Natasha breathed out and looked at Steve. "So, I guess picking a movie is a little pointless?"
Steve smiled, patting the space on the couch beside him that was now, finally, empty. Grinning, Natasha got up and straddled his lap instead, her arms wrapping around the back of his neck. "Hey," She said quietly.
"Hey, trouble." He said softly, his hand cupping her cheek affectionately. "You seemed like you were having fun. It's so nice hearing you laugh."
"Oh, because I'm such a misery to be around normally?" She was only teasing, but deep down, she was a little worried that perhaps Steve really did think that about her.
Steve rolled his eyes, and any concern that had been eating away at her vanished. His hands dropped to her ass, squeezing slightly. "You're my favourite person. Do you know that?"
"I thought I did, before I came down here and saw Sam sat in my seat." She commented.
"Hmm," Steve pushed her hips slightly, causing her to rub against him again. "I thought this was your seat, right here?"
Shivers ran up her spine at the sensations that he was causing inside her. "Prick," She accused, before leaning down and capturing his mouth, kissing him deeply. Steve made no protests, his tongue licking at her bottom lip until she opened up to him.
He pulled away when they both needed to breathe, but when he rubbed his nose against hers, she couldn't help but smile like a fool. "Seeing as our movie is postponed for another night, why don't we go to bed and I'll make it up to you?" Not that they would have actually watched the movie, but when you had someone as handsome and wonderful as Steve Rogers offering such a thing, how could you resist?
Natasha pretended to think about his offer, and when Steve squeezed her ass once again - firmer this time, in such a delicious, possessive way - Natasha squealed. "You better get too it soldier, before I change my mind and fancy another race..."
Steve needed no further invitation.
~0~0~0~0~0~
The first close call that Steve and Natasha narrowly missed had been in on the balcony at the top of the tower.
Steve had been standing resting against the banister, all his weight supported onto his arms and therefore causing the muscles of his back, shoulders and arms to practically call to her like a siren from her seat on the couch inside. Able to resist him, she'd joined him outside, her hand brushing down his back as she stopped at his side.
Smiling at her, Steve had read the expression on her face, and his heart had tightened in his chest. They'd been together for three months now, and the words he so desperately wanted to say to her danced at the tip of his tongue, but every time he thought he was brave enough to finally say them, something had gotten in the way.
So, he settled for cupping her cheek affectionately, completely forgetting that they were not in the private setting of his floor. It was a perfectly sunny day, and the light danced across her flawless skin and made her emerald eyes glisten. His mind went back to that night all those years ago, just after New York, when he had been so mesmerised by her beauty that he had itched to paint her. At this very moment, he wanted to paint her again.
Natasha leaned up and kissed him, intending on it being a quick brush of lips. But, Steve kissed her back, and she moaned against his mouth. Only when the elevator pinged open behind them and touched Steve's super-sensitive hearing, did he pull away. Catching on instantly, Natasha took a very step away from him, just as Tony entered the lounge and called, "Anyone home?"
Shooting Steve an amused look, Natasha headed inside to see their friend. Steve waited a few minutes before joining them, and the three of them had dived into conversation about the new facility.
As he listened to Tony tell them how the development was coming along, Steve couldn't help his mind wonder back to Natasha, even though he somehow managed to stop himself from staring across at her.
He was so in love with her that it hurt. He'd never felt like this before about anyone, but he knew that it was love. She was everything to him. He wanted nothing more than to spend there rest of his life with her.
But, was it too soon?
Natasha seemed comfortable in their relationship, but he often wondered if that was because perhaps they had kept it between the two of them. If they told their friends, would she start to feel differently? Would she act differently around them? Push him away? Even the thought made him worry.
But, as he thought of all the nights they shared together, making love and talking about anything and everything, he couldn't deny his feelings. Keeping them inside was starting to become a task; it was like the pressure of being squeezed. Sooner or later, it would all be too much.
His feelings for her consumed him. Waking up to her in his arms every morning made him so incredibly happy, and falling asleep next to her chased away all his nightmares. He'd grown so dependent on her, on sharing her strength and leaning on her when he was feeling particularly low.
Did she love him?
Natasha Romanoff was the hardest person to read. Slowly, he had gotten to know her tells, had learnt to read her body language and facial expressions, even when she tried to put her walls up. He felt like he knew her better than anyone. He was almost confident that by now, she had dropped her walls completely.
But, she remained guarded about certain things, and he really didn't want to push her.
Steve had faced a lot of dangers in his lifetime as Captain America. He had been in wars, seen people die right in front of him, he had given his last ounce of strength to protect strangers. He'd faced aliens and a deluded Asgardian god. He had taken down terrorists, and gone on missions where their targets were the most dangerous in the entire world.
Yet, nothing terrified him more than the idea of losing Natasha.
He feared that telling her he loved her when she wasn't quite ready to hear those words would cause her to run.
And, because of this, he kept it quiet. But, with each day that passed and each night when he'd lie down with her naked body pressed against his, it was slowly starting to eat away at him.
~0~0~0~0~0~
The second time that they had almost been caught had been when Natasha had agreed to go shopping with Pepper once again.
With things being a little rocky between Pepper and Tony at the moment, the blonde had wanted to shop at Victoria Secret. Surprised but not at all against this suggestion, Natasha had picked out several sets for herself and had gone into the changing rooms with a sinfully wonderful idea in her mind.
Her favourite set was the lilac bra with matching panties. There was barely any material to the set, but it was pretty in a delicate, easily-rippable way. So, she had tried it on and then taken a photo of herself in the mirror. Then, she sent the photo to Steve, after ensuring that it was definitely his number.
She didn't write a caption.
It was only seconds before his reply came through, Natasha, I thought we talked about these kinds of photos.
Grinning, she responded with, Are you seriously complaining right now? She sent it, and then wrote another message, I can always find someone else to send such things to, if you're not interested. Never in a million years could she do that. Steve Rogers had ruined any other man for her, end of story. Still, she liked teasing him far too much to resist pressing some buttons whenever the chance arose.
It always worked out so well for her at the end of the day when he got all riled up.
His reply was what she had expected, Absolutely not. If he had spoken the words out loud to her, there would definitely be a growl lingering in his voice.
Biting her lower lip to contain her smile, her fingers danced over the screen of her phone. Well, do you like it?
You look beautiful. His reply awoke those butterflies in her stomach. You always look beautiful, Nat. With or without clothes.
Which would you prefer?
As long as I get your company either way, I'm happy. God, could he be anymore perfect?
Her smile blossomed, unable to contain itself as it spread across her entire face. What are you doing right now?
The little speech bubble appeared on her screen, then disappeared, then came on again as Steve deleted whatever he had been typing and changed it. I was about to go to the gym. Now, I have a bit of a dilemma.
She raised her eyebrow. What kind of dilemma? She slipped the lilac material off her body and tried on a daring black number. Although Steve always appreciated her underwear choices regardless of the colour, black always seemed to bring out a deep growl from him. That growl was probably one of her favourite noises of his, as well as the way her name sounded when it was moaned out from his lips in sheer pleasure.
My dilemma is that my incredibly sexy girlfriend just sent me a photo of her in underwear that I want to remove from her body with my teeth.
A few weeks ago, she would have been shocked for such a statement to come from Steve Rogers, America's golden boy. Over the last four months of their relationship, she had discovered the beast that lurked beneath those gentlemanly ways. Of course, Steve was an incredibly attentive lover, and he adored making love to her slowly, drawing out her pleasure and making her feel as if she was on top of the world. But, he also had a darker side to him, a freak in the sheets that excited her to no end. But, regardless of this, he was always respectful, and never took it too far. She always felt safe, and always felt adored and protected, even when they were rougher with each other.
Besides, she was just as demanding when she wanted to be. Just two nights ago, she had tied his wrists to the headboard. Even though he could have easily broken free, he had gone along with it, and as soon as she had started, he was rendered powerless against her. Remembering him writhing, held back from touching her while he begged and whimpered now sent heat to her core.
She quickly took another photo of the black set, making sure that she posed to show off her assets in the best way. I just want your opinion on which one to go for. It's not my fault you have such an insatiable sex drive.
Glancing down at the various sets that surrounded her, she wondered if she should just all of them. She could certainly afford to, but whether she could justify it or not was a different matter. Then again, he had ripped her panties in half that night with the headboard restraints, so…
He replied, You are the cause of that insatiable sex drive. I want you so bad, Nat.
I'm shopping.
She could practically hear his groan of protest as his next text came through, My hand is such a poor substitute, you know.
Changing back into her own underwear and shrugging her jeans on, Natasha's arousal was near breaking point. The very pleasant image of Steve handling his 'dilemma' by himself popped in her mind. How quickly could she get back to the tower?
No, she reminded herself. She had promised Pepper a day out. Yes, it involved her wearing a wig whilst they were out in public to avoid drawing attention to herself, but if it cheered Pepper up, then she would do it. That involved staying away from her sex-craving boyfriend for a little while longer.
I'll see you tonight, lover boy, she texted him, heading out of the changing room. She placed her phone down as she grabbed her jacket from the hanger. The store assistant smiled at her when she realised that Natasha was going to purchase all of her chosen sets.
"Natasha, you've got a message." Pepper said, grabbing the phone off the couch, clearly thinking it was something important. Her brow creased slightly. "It's from Steve."
Thinking fast on her feet, Natasha shrugged and said, "I told him that I might be back in time to spot for him in the gym." It was a lame lie, but it was the best she could come up with on the spot. "He'll have to deal with having Sam, as you and I are going to lunch."
Pepper's smile was bright at the idea, and she didn't ask any more questions about why Steve would be texting her, and Natasha was just relieved that the setting on her phone didn't show what the message actually said. Pepper would probably have a heart attack if she had actually seen what Steve had written.
Paying for her things, Natasha ensured that her screen was out of sight when she quickly checked Steve's message.
Have your fun, sweetheart, but tonight, I'll have mine.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Having returned home from a very successful day out shopping, Natasha had had every intention of heading to her floor, getting showered and slipping on one of her new sets under some jeans and a jumper before heading to see Steve.
But, for whatever reason, she had decided to check on Tony. Call it intuition, but Natasha had an unsettling feeling. Pepper had been in a good mood earlier, but there had been an underlying sadness in her tone, and she had avoided talking about her relationship. Natasha had pushed or asked a single question, but she could tell things were not good.
If Pepper was feeling this way, then Tony certainly was. The billionaire was a lot of things, and a former play-boy was one of them. But, with pepper, he was different. Natasha had seen whilst she had posed as his assistant. Tony's love for Pepper was so strong that sometimes, he tried to hide it in ways of sarcasm and arrogance, because showing his feelings didn't come naturally to him. This was why there was a rift between them now; Pepper's feelings were hurt, and Tony had no idea how to talk to her about it, so he had simply brushed over it.
Natasha Romanoff never tried to get attached to people. Her entire life had been spent with people drilling into her that no one could be trusted, and that you were better off alone. But, she considered the people on her team her friends now. Perhaps, because of Steve, Natasha had finally allowed herself to open her heart in such a way.
So, she had gone to find Tony.
He'd been up at his large bar, pouring himself a glass of bourbon which definitely didn't seem to be his first. There was a vacant, lost look in his eyes which he tried to disguise when he invited Natasha to join him for a drink.
Instead, Natasha had told him to get into something comfortable, because they were all going to have a movie night. Steve's lack of movies was still shocking (it didn't help that they never finished a movie before her tongue was down his throat and his hands were tearing at her clothes) and Sam had been asking them for weeks.
It had seemed like a really good idea, until now.
Sat on the large couch in one of Tony's leisure rooms, which had a massive flat-screen in it and a popcorn machine in the corner, Natasha had to fight to not rub her foot against Steve's leg.
He was sitting beside her, his eyes on the screen as the movie began, but even in the low lighting, she could see the muscle on his jaw twitch slightly. It seemed as if her boyfriend was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself, as well.
Ten minutes into the movie, and Natasha felt a finger trace around the side of her ankle. The movement was hidden by the blanket that covered her, but she felt a giddiness run through her.
Seemingly oblivious, Sam was lounging across another couch, his long legs up on the arm and a bowl of popcorn resting on his stomach. Tony occupied the third and final couch, wearing glasses with a small smile playing on his face as one of the actors said a particularly funny line. Feeling happy about this, Natasha turned her attention back to the screen and tried to ignore Steve's finger as it continued to trail from side to side.
The innocent digit stayed there throughout the entire movie, as if Steve just wanted to have some sort of physical contact with her. Wanting the same thing, Natasha made no move to remove her foot.
Tony had bought them all pizza, and Natasha was slightly surprised when Steve had gotten up and returned to their couch with a plate for her, containing two slices of meat feast. He had picked the mushrooms off it, knowing that she hated the texture.
Sam seemed to notice as well, but he didn't say anything. She knew that Sam suspected there was something between them, and had done ever since the day they had appeared at his house seeking somewhere safe to stay. Although he Falcon wasn't wrong with that assumption, she didn't want to tell anyone just yet.
It wasn't because she thought of their relationship as being a dirty little secret. It wasn't as if she could ever be embarrassed by the fact that Steve Rogers was her boyfriend. But, if she was being truthful, it was because she was scared. Scared of how the world would react, how they would see her. The slut who had thrown herself at Captain America. The woman with blood on her hands, that could never deserve a man like him, no matter what good she did.
Scared that one day, Steve would wake up and realise all that.
Trying to ignore that sickening twist in her cut at the thought of Steve leaving her, Natasha tried to watch the movie. The pizza was now tasteless in her mouth and her brain didn't process what the actors were saying at all.
Steve seemed to sense her moment of blankness, because he squeezed her ankle once, bringing her back from that deepest, darkness part of her mind where she lost herself. Once again, he anchored her, kept her steady.
After the movie had ended, the four of them remained in the room for a little while longer, discussing their days. Natasha had made sure to not mention Pepper by name, simply because she didn't want to see that content smile on Tony's face disappear.
But, as she stepped into the elevator, Steve also excused himself for the night and joined her. The doors closed before either of their friends could also enter.
"Natasha, what's wrong?" Steve asked, his eyes scanning her face.
She blinked. "Nothing," It felt awful lying to him, as if something had hooked her and was now drawing that hook downwards, ripping her apart.
"I noticed you zone out in there." Steve said. Although he would never push her to the point where she felt uncomfortable or cornered, he also wouldn't drop it until he believed her.
She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him exactly where her mind had gone. That was why she could never deserve him. She was a coward. "I'm just a little tired."
Steve regarded her for a moment, and a small irrational part of her wondered if he could see into her soul. He knew her better than anyone. She had let him in more than she had ever let in anyone before, yet her walls were still guarding those most secret, darkest parts of her soul. Simply so she didn't lose him.
Then, his fingers were underneath her chin, softly tilting her head up so their gazes met. There was nothing but understanding gleaming in those beautiful blue eyes of his. No pity. No annoyance. For a second, she thought he was going to say something, as his lips parted, but then he closed his mouth again.
Seconds later, he finally said, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
I see you, Natasha. I see all of you, and it changes nothing.
Those words he had spoken to her all those months ago tore at her, reminding her of just how amazing he truly was. Could he really accept her, shadows and demons included?
She wasn't brave enough to find out. "I think I just want to go to bed."
If he was disappointed by how their night was ending, Steve didn't show it. She doubted he would even be upset with her for having a sexless night. Steve didn't work like that. Yes, they both loved having sex at the end of their day, but it wasn't the foundation of this relationship. They were so much more than that, they were in so much deeper.
So much so that it terrified her more than anything else in the world.
That night, as settled into his bed and cuddled into his side, she couldn't find sleep easily. Steve's hand stroked small circles against her lower back, moving underneath her vest so his skin could brush against hers, until he had drifted off into his own dreams. She listened to his breathing, feeling the steady thudding of his heartbeat, as the scent of cinnamon surrounded her.
It was a whole hour until Natasha had managed to sleep.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Steve lay a gentle kiss on Natasha's temple before he rolled out of bed the next morning.
He retreated to the bathroom, and then the kitchen, making them some coffee. Although Natasha wasn't a fan of early mornings, she normally woke up a few minutes after he had left the bed, as if sensing the sudden empty space beside her. She always looked so beautiful in the mornings, and it always made it a challenge for him to even want to leave her. In the end, his bladder always won.
Soon enough, two cups of coffee were made, and he returned to the bed to find Natasha's eyes blinking open. She looked over her shoulder, her bare back facing him as he entered the room, and it was as if her entire body softened at the sight of him.
He couldn't forget how distant she had felt last night. He had glanced at her during the movie to see her staring at nothing, her eyes evident that she was somewhere else entirely in that moment. He had wanted to speak to her about it last night, but she hadn't given him an inch, and he would never push her. When Natasha felt pushed, she retreated even further.
So, he greeted her warmly, "Good morning, beautiful." as he passed her one of the cups.
She blushed at his words, and it hurt his heart a little that a woman as wonderful as Natasha was not used to a man giving her such compliments. He knew Natasha had spent her entire life with men gawking at her looks, but sometimes, they had made comments about her that certainly were not deserving. Rumlow had been one of them, making small remarks that Steve had wanted to punch him for, so hard that his large nose would break and he'd bleed pathetically. Only respect for Natasha, and knowing that if it ever got too much for her that Natasha could handle the situation herself, kept Steve back.
He slipped back into the warm blankets, sitting with his back against the headboard. He wanted to ask her how she was feeling, but also, he remembered what he had been so close to admitting last night. The words had been at the tip of his tongue, but it just hadn't been the right moment to say them.
"I'm sorry for last night." She said, and surprised him, but he managed to conceal that as he turned to look at her. "I...I overthought something, and instead of talking to you about it, I shut down. Blocked it out completely."
"You never have to tell me something if you do not want to." He said, and he meant it entirely. No matter how much he wanted her to fully open up to him, if her heart wasn't in it, he wouldn't push that out of her. It had to be her choice, her decision. "I...I just hope you know that I'm here for you. Always. No matter what."
He could see that glimmer in her eyes, and it was hard to pinpoint exactly what emotion it belonged to. It wasn't quite sadness, but a mixture of that and relief, the sign that she seeked so much reassurance because she thought so little of herself. That glimmer destroyed him.
There was a slight tremble in her voice when she whispered, "I just don't want to lose you, Steve."
Of all the different possibilities to explain why she had acted so strangely last night, that certainly hadn't been something he had considered. Had he done something to make her feel like that was even possible? "Natasha, if I did anything to-"
"You did nothing. You're perfect." She told him firmly, but she bit her lower lip as she added, "Too perfect. That is the problem."
He caught up with her then, could see where her insecurities were starting to come alight. Once, he had told her that he wished she could see herself how he saw her, that she would allow herself to see just how remarkable a person she was. That wish still applied now.
Slowly, he placed his coffee cup down on the small table beside the bed that held the lamp. He eased her cup out of her hands; it had already gone cold, and she had barely taken a sip from it. He placed it down beside hers before wrapping his arm around her and drawing her to his side.
Natasha did not resist, and as she cuddled against him and buried her head into his chest, he felt something wet the skin of his chest. She was crying.
"Oh, sweetheart," He mumbled into her hair, the smell of citrus and Natasha surrounding him. His hand stroked her back slowly, soothingly. "It's okay to feel like that sometimes. I know that I do. Every time I look at you, I'm blown away by the fact that you are mine. There won't be a single day where I won't be grateful for having you in my life, at my side. You are the most brilliant person I have ever met. You're smart, and you're kind, and you're funny, and I really can't imagine my life without you."
A sob racked her body, but her crying stopped. When she tilted her head up to look at him, her green eyes glistened with unshed tears. "You're my favorite person, Steve." She said, echoing his words from the other day, but there was just as much genuine emotion behind them as there had been when he had been the one to speak them.
He smiled widely, squeezing her shoulder. "Let's spend the day together." He suggested softly. "You said the other day that my wardrobe could do with a revamp. I know you went shopping yesterday, but I could really do with your help, if you'd like to?"
"Are you asking me on a date, Rogers?" She asked, and he was more than relieved when he heard that familiar teasing hint to her voice.
"I might be." He said, leaning down to nuzzle her nose with his. He knew she loved it when he did that, and her gentle laugh was confirmation of this.
The corners of her mouth twitched upwards into a smile, and her beauty rendered him speechless once again. "I'd love to."
Although the words still burned on his tongue and his heart swelled with just how much he yearned to say them, he didn't. It wasn't the right time.
But, that didn't mean that what he wasn't feeling for the woman in his arms wasn't the strongest, most realest thing he had ever felt in his entire life.
~0~0~0~0~0~
- E x