"So Nikki went with teddy for pedicures," Owen told Evelyn ," I'd like to talk to you about Nikki."
"What about," Evelyn asked.
"She calls her self the dumb one," Owen said, "but Shepard did the testing, well his resident did. Nikki tested at the very high end of the gifted range almost off the charts. But that's not the big issue. Mom she knows nothing about her dad. She didn't even know his name, she was asking me."
"What did you tell her," Evelyn asked.
"The truth," Owen replied, "that he left, that you kicked him out because he was rough with us. Hiding things from her isn't helpful. Mom does she even know about the change in Meg's status?"
"No," Evelyn said, "we have to protect her."
"She's 17 next week," Owen said, "she deserves the truth. Hiding it from her is only going to hurt Nikki. "
"You hid that you were home," Evelyn countered, "for six months."
"And I didn't handle that well," Owen admitted, "I should have called and told you. I was a mess and not thinking straight. She still thinks that they're searching for Meghan. Mom Nikki needs the truth so she can move forward."
"I don't know," Evelyn said.
"We need to tell her. The stress of it is really getting to Teddy," Owen said, "and if the baby is a girl we're going to use Meghan as a middle name."
"I like that," Evelyn said, "have you thought of names?"
"We have two," Owen said, "that are important to us. A boy and a girl."
"Will you find out," Evelyn asked.
"We haven't decided," Owen replied, "Teddy wants to know I'm okay with a surprise."
"How is Teddy doing," Evelyn asked.
"She's better," Owen said, "still tired and saying her back hurts."
"Just be there for her," Evelyn said, "make sure she wears real shoes with support."
"She wears sneakers at work," Owen replied, "but she likes her flats and sandals at home."
"No heels," Evelyn said.
"She likes them," Owen said, "I think she's missing her mom."
"She would be," Evelyn agreed, "she can always always come to me."
"Call her," Owen said, "we need you to complain to Nikki's school about Beth. She was really rude to Teddy and I last week on the field trip. When I helped supervise the rock climbing trip Beth tried to kiss me. She knows I'm with Teddy. When the time is right I'm Going to propose to Teddy."
"I know you will," Evelyn said, "I knew you loved her the first time she came to visit. Everyone did. She came and wanted to be part of us. She liked your sisters. She wanted to spend time with me. You were the only one who didn't see it."
"The blanket fort," Owen said.
"Nikki loved that," Evelyn said, "this sibling thing is new for her as well."
"Brother," Owen agreed, "I messed up there."
"I didn't guide you either. But you've always protected her in your own way," Evelyn said, "that night I came home and you were both in Meghan's bed. The three of you. With Nikki's basket in the middle."
"Meghan didn't want the basket but I thought we would squish Nikki," Owen said.
"You were protecting your sisters," Evelyn said, "both were sound asleep when I came in and you were sitting there stroking Nikki's head. She can't have been more than six or seven months."
"If that, it was December," Owen said, "it was so cold I worried about sending Nikki and Meghan out for a walk but I knew they couldn't be there. They went to Theresa's."
"I know," Evelyn said, "Meghan called me at work from there to tell me where they were. Pam took care of them. Owen why didn't you go with them?"
"I had to be the man for my sisters," Owen said.
"You were 17," Evelyn said, "a boy."
"I had to be the man because Max fucking wasn't," Owen said, "that's not how a man acts."
"It's not," Evelyn said, "I'm sorry I put you through that. I knew he was drinking. "
"Meg and I didn't tell you about the abuse," Owen said, "he told me to take it like a man. Mom I failed. I didn't protect Meghan, it's my fault she's gone. We fought right before she was captured. The last thing I said to her was to stop having a tantrum and being a child. It's my fault she's gone. And I've done a shit job of protecting and guiding Nikki. I'm going to fuck up with this baby."
Evelyn hugged Owen tight.
"You could have stopped what happened to Meghan," Evelyn soothed, "Owen that is not your fault. Sweetheart you need to let that go. You couldn't change it whether you and her had argued or not. Meghan went with her patient. She would have done that either way."
"But that's the last thing I said to her," Owen sobbed.
"And I'm sure she said some things to you that she wasn't proud of that day," Evelyn said.
"But I started it," Owen said, "I said something about her and Nathan."
"You liked Nathan," Evelyn said.
"You don't know what was going on," Owen said, "he cheated and Teddy caught him."
"Owen," Evelyn said, "you've held all this in for too long. You should have talked to me sooner. That is a detail I would like you to keep from Nikki she's too young to understand. She's just stopped blaming you don't give her anything to fight you on."
"I wouldn't," Owen said, "but you needed to know. I failed mom. I failed Meghan and I failed you. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry two Owen," Evelyn said, "I should have seen it. When you came home and years ago."
"What if I can't protect the baby," Owen asked.
"Owen you are going to be a great dad," Evelyn smiled, "you and Teddy will be amazing I don't doubt that. You love each other. I've seen you the last few months with Nikki that way you mentor and support her. Your baby will be lucky to have you."
"I only just got Nikki trusting me," Owen said.
"You got her to perform this week," Evelyn said.
"Her tinkerbell variation," Owen said, "at work."
"Tink not something from Coppelia," Evelyn said.
"I like Tink," Owen said, "it's more Nikki. It was actually Teddy's choice."
"Teddy has some ideas for YGAP solos," Evelyn said, "playful light hearted things."
"Nikki does playful well," Owen replied, "Tink suits her."
"How did your big news go over at work," Evelyn asked.
"People have been really happy for us," Owen said, "at least to our faces."
"You're both still new," Evelyn said.
"Shepherd is a good guy," Owen replied, "his research is interesting."
"Are you going to research again," Evelyn asked.
"Maybe," Owen said, "there's some reconstructive work with other vets I'm interested in but it's not a good time."
"Why not," Evelyn asked.
"Teddy needs me," Owen said, "she's not as tough as she looks."
"I didn't think so," Evelyn replied, "I really like her Owen. She suits you."
"She does. I know it's fast but mom it's right," Owen said.
"Does she really want to take Nikki today though," Evelyn asked.
"Teddy always wanted a little sister and Nikki needs a big sister figure," Owen said, "let them work it out."
"Theres a lot I don't know about Teddy isn't there," Evelyn said.
"There is," Owen said, "she had a brother. He was born just before she was 12 and passed 10 months later. He had a heart defect and was waiting for a transplant. It's what pushed her to cardio."
"And why she's just taking Nikki under her wing," Evelyn said, "How old is Teddy?"
"She's 36," Owen replied.
"And she's been through so much," Evelyn said, "she must need a mom."
"She will never ask," Owen said.
"Maybe I'll call her and plan something with just her," Evelyn said.
"She would appreciate that," Owen agreed.
"So baby," Evelyn said, "what do the two of you need?"
"We're just starting to plan that," Owen said.
"I want to help," Evelyn said, "this is exciting."
"We're excited," Owen agreed, "Teddy was off yesterday and bought some new clothes for herself."
"Already," Evelyn said.
"Not really but she says she sees differences and is being really shy with me," Owen said.
"Just listen to her," Evelyn said, "make sure you tell her she's beautiful and how happy you are."
"I do," Owen said, "but Teddy gets up in her head about things and words don't always get though."
"Show her," Evelyn said, "go home and make her favourite dinner and desert, flowers, candles. Pick up some nice bubble bath for her. Put on her favourite music. Spoil her, let your actions speak."
"Romantic night at home," Owen said, "mom I can do that."
"Then go," Evelyn said.
Nikki walked with Teddy down the busy shopping street.
"Teddy," Nikki asked, "madame thinks she knew you when you were a little kid. How?"
"Madame and my mom danced and trained together," Teddy said, "like you and Sydney. They trained together from the time they were 5 or 6, through ballet school at SAB, danced with the same company until my mom stopped dancing."
"Why did she stop," Nikki asked.
"Me," Teddy replied, "her and my dad got married pretty quick and I was born six months after the wedding. She tried to dance for a couple years but I needed her too much. Madame was her best friend. When I was in preschool school mom taught at a couple studios in New York then we moved to Connecticut when she got the job with Blackhurst when I was 5 , Genieve who you call Madame moved and taught at Blackhurst as well after she got hurt. Then when I was 8 she moved out here to teach, to start the program at your school. I hadn't seen her in 28 years."
"Did you know her well," Nikki asked.
"When I was little I did," Teddy answered, "she was at our house almost every day but 28 years is a long time. Things she's said about my mom don't connect with what I remember. She knew my mom young and carefree."
"What was your mom like," Nikki asked.
"Strict and a perfectionist," Teddy said, "it makes me nervous about being a mom. I don't know how. Ideas?"
"Your a good big sister," Nikki said, "has to count for something. Mom doesn't do anything special shes just there and always calm."
"Your mom is good at being calm," Teddy said.
"Do I get to baby sit," Nikki asked.
"Whe it's a bit bigger," Teddy agreed, "I'm going to take six months off with the baby. And Owen is going to take two or three."
"I don't really know how to be a little sister let alone an aunt," Nikki said.
"How do you not know how to be a little sister," Teddy asked.
"Owen left for college when I was really little I don't remember him ever living with us," Nikki said, "I was four or five when Meghan left. They would come for a few weeks tops."
"You've kind of been an only child," Teddy commented, "you have siblings but not in your day to day life."
"My siblings are more a concept," Nikki said, "I like getting to know you and Owen."
"We like having you around," Teddy agreed.
"I miss Meghan's letters," Nikki said, "I was rereading old ones last night. I printed all her emails and their in a binder under my bed."
"She wrote to you a lot," Teddy remembered.
"She would have known how to be an auntie," Nikki said.
"So will you," Teddy said, "play games, cuddle, play your music for them, read stories. They'll come watch you dance. Auntie Nikki will teach them their first plies and tendus and to play the violin."
"What if it's a boy," Nikki asked, "Owen wont want his son to dance."
"Teach them anyway," Teddy said.
"Auntie Caroline used to come and feed me ice cream and candy," Nikki said.
"When they can eat solids you can," Teddy agreed.
"When is that," Nikki asked.
"Next summer," Teddy said, "six or seven months old."
"That's a long time," Nikki complained.
"They don't come until February," Teddy said, "it's a bit of a wait."
"So we just wait," Nikki asked.
"They grow, I get massive, you wait and I get to make Owen do whatever I want," Teddy replied.
"Do you know what it is yet," Nikki asked.
"We can find out in September but we might wait and see," Teddy said
"Do you want to know," Nikki asked.
"I don't know," Teddy said, "it would be easier to get organized. I really want to know but Owen isn't sure."
"Can you do it with out him," Nikki asked, "you know and he gets a surprise?"
"No," Teddy laughed, "he comes to every appointment with me."
"Appointments," Nikki asked.
"Just to make sure we're healthy," Teddy said, "nothing to worry about. But we should get some ultrasound pictures soon. When we do we'll come show you and your mom. A week left of school then what's your plan for August?"
"Mom and I are doing our week on the Oregon coast," Nikki said, "we go fake camping. We rent a cabin near the beach and cook outside on the camp stove and fire pit."
Teddy asked, "I haven't been camping in years but we don't have time off. I only started this spring and will be taking time off with the baby. What else are you doing when you're off?"
"Reading, music, I'm doing a week of church camp," Nikki said, "I really like camp. Seven days with my friends from the youth group. Campfires, songs, water sports, night games, junk food."
"No dance," Teddy asked.
"No," Nikki replied, "mom doesn't like me dancing on my summer break. She says I need the rest and to do something different. I might do one drop in class a week when we're home."
"It's only five weeks," Teddy said, "your moms right. Cross train for the month. Ride your bike, Owen loves to ride and I can't right now so go with him. We're going to do some hikes you're welcome to come. Swim laps."
"Get my driver's license," Nikki said, "SAT prep."
"You're doing those," Teddy said.
"Mom says I have to," Nikki complained, "if I don't have a dance job by January I have to go to college."
"Where would you go," Teddy asked, "for what?"
"UW and do I need to know now," Nikki said, "the only subject I'm good at is math and physics."
"Then you study math and physics, " Teddy smiled.
"That's what Owen says," Nikki said.
"He's not a total dumb dumb," Teddy said.
"Most of the time," Nikki laughed, "I don't understand why we're to call him eeyore if he's in one of his moods."
"Meghan did," Teddy replied, "when he was pouting."
"He doesn't pout," Nikki replied.
"Around you," Teddy said, "he's trying to be a good example."
"I'm almost 17. In a year I'll be dancing professionally," Nikki said.
"Your birthday next week, what's the plan," Teddy asked.
"Some friends from school are coming over but not much really," Nikki said, "it's low key."
They walked into the nail salon for their pedicures.
That evening Teddy walked into the apartment after dropping Nikki off.
"Owen what's this," Teddy asked, seeing the candles on the coffee table and bookshelf lit and two tall candles lighting the table. He had set the table for two.
"Dinner," Owen smiled, popping his head out of the kitchen.
Teddy joined him in the kitchen hugging him from behind, "it smells good."
"Your favourite," Owen replied, freeing himself from her arms to kiss her.
"Roast chicken," Teddy smiled.
"With roasted potatoes and carrots, green beans and fresh peas," Owen replied, "and apple crisp for dessert."
Tears filled Teddy's eyes, "why did you do this?"
"Because I love you," Owen said, kissing her again.
"I love you too," Teddy whispered, returning the kiss.
"You go relax, this will be ready in ten minutes," Owen said.
"I feel like I should change for our date," Teddy giggled.
"You look gorgeous," Owen said, "how was your day?"
"Good we did a little bit of shopping and pedicures," Teddy said, "you saw your mom?"
"I did," Owen said, "mom is good. We talked about the Nikki stuff."
"Not sheltering her," Teddy said, "she knows you're hiding something. But she's taking a month off and I said we would help with her SAT prep."
"Mom's taking her uncamping for a week," Owen said, "she used to take us uncamping every summer."
"Nikki was telling me about it," Teddy said, "she's excited for that and summer camp with her church group."
"Camp was the best," Owen agreed.
"I never went," Teddy said.
"We could take a few days and go uncamping," Owen said.
"I don't know," Teddy said, "I love Nikki and Evelyn but I'm not sure I'm ready for family tips. Owen I didn't grow up in a family that went camping or did things. My mom was always in the studio and dad travelled for work most of the time. I need to work so I can take time with the baby. You can go."
"I won't go without you," Owen said, "leave Friday after work, take the weekend and come back Monday. Walk on the beach, sit in the sand, you in a bathing suit."
"The bathing suit is only for you," Teddy said, "baby is growing and who knows by the uncamping trip the last week of August."
"Teddy," Owen said, "you are gorgeous and our baby only makes you more so. Only you notice right now."
"The end of August I'll be 18 weeks," Teddy said.
"We can go for the weekend with them and have fun," Owen said, "walk the beach, tan, hike a bit, rides on the pier."
"Let's talk about it later," Teddy said.
"For now let's have dinner," Owen said, pulling Teddy in for another kiss.
"Dinner then I have an idea for dessert," Teddy said, kissing Owen's neck.
"I like how you think," Owen said, "but you need to eat first."
"I'm hungry and it smells amazing," Teddy said, "eat and then cuddle on the couch."
Owen dished up both plates and carried them to the table before pouring two wine glasses of sparkling apple juice.
Owen picked up his glass of juice, "to us."
"To us," Teddy echoed, clinking her glass against Owen's.
Evelyn called Nikki for dinner.
"Mom is Owen going to ask Teddy to marry him," Nikki asked.
"When he thinks the time is right he probably will," Evelyn said, "is that okay with you?"
"I like her," Nikki said, "she listens to me and talks to me like a person. I'm not his dumb little sister."
"You're not the dumb little sister," Evelyn said, "why do you keep saying that?"
"Because Owen is a surgeon and Meghan was. They were both soldiers and heros," Nikki said, "I'm just a dancer."
"You'll make your mark Nikki," Evelyn said, "your 17 comparing to siblings in their 30s. That's not a fair comparison."
"Meghan isn't coming home is she," Nikki asked.
"No sweetheart," Evelyn said, "they stopped the search over a year ago. Nikki the army has changed Meghan's status to missing presumed dead."
"When did that happen," Nikki asked.
"To weeks ago," Evelyn admitted, "we were scared to tell you."
"Do I have to stop emailing her," Nikki asked.
"How often do you email," Evelyn asked.
"Once a week or every other week when I have something I think she should know," Nikki said, "it's less now that I can talk to Owen and Teddy. I love them but I still miss Meghan."
"So do I," Evelyn agreed.
"Mom don't think I'm crazy but the night we did Coppelia I thought I hear her voice cheering with Owen's," Nikki said.
"I don't think your crazy," Evelyn said ,"I dreamed about her the other night trying to figure out how to tell you. "
"It was her cheering with Owen I'm sure of it," Nikki said.
"Then you believe that," Evelyn said.
"In her letter she said she would always be there even if we couldn't see her," Nikki said, "is that what she meant?"
"She told me the same thing," Evelyn said.
"Do you think she's in heaven," Nikki asked.
"She is," Evelyn promised, "with grandma and grandpa."
"When grandpa died you promised that he was always watching and smiling at us," Nikki said, "is Meg?"
"She is," Evelyn said, "you remembered that?"
"I do," Nikki said, "do you promise?"
"I promise," Evelyn said, "are you okay?"
"It's not unexpected," Nikki said, "when they stopped looking they gave up. Can I have a hug before dinner?"
"Come here," Evelyn said, pulling Nikki into a tight hug.
Nikki grabbed her plate off the counter and sat at the table with her mom.