Chapter 13

Castle had barely placed one foot out onto the deck when he felt a fresh sheen of sweat coat his brow. He grimaced and swiped at it with the back of his hand before shutting the door to the house behind him so as not to waste the air conditioning. The sweat now beginning to drip down is neck, he gazed out across his back yard. The sun had set an hour before so nothing could be seen, but he could still hear the waves crashing against the sand.

Feeling more perspiration on his brow, he took a sip of the cool beer in his hands, but it did little to improve how he felt. For the prior few days, the Northeast had been pummeled with an unrelenting heat wave, with temperatures climbing into the triple digits each day. Even then, after nine o'clock, the mercury had barely dipped into the nineties and they weren't supposed to get relief from the heat for another two days.

Due to heat and humidity of each day that was, most unfortunately, coupled with bright, unforgiving sunshine, being outside during the daytime hours had been more or less impossible for everyone in the household. Even soaking in the pool did little to abate one's suffering. Most of his housemates had done their best to stay indoors, even if it made them a little grumpy, but Castle was beginning to feel claustrophobic, so he decided to spend at least some of the evening outside—even if that meant he had to shower before getting into bed.

As he walked across the deck, he spotted Kate stretched out in one of the lounge chairs with a book in her lap. She had been the bravest of all of them, still insisting on doing her morning pool workout or walk despite the baking sun. She insisted that years of walking a beat in a police uniform had acclimated her to uncomfortable temps, but she did still spend the bulk of the day inside.

He drifted towards where she sat and noticed the ice in her water glass had long since melted. Heck, in these temps the water was probably almost boiling, or at the least very unpalatable. "Want me to get you something cold to drink?" he offered.

She glanced up at him then looked to her glass and shrugged. "No, I think I'm okay."

"You sure? It's gross out here. And this new microbrew I got isn't half bad," he said referring to his latest delivery of alcohol, which for some reason began to have supply chain issues just as the problems they had with limited food stock seemed to be improving. They'd had a pretty decent stash of wine at the house upon arrival, but his mother had moved through that fairly quickly. As she outright refused to drink beer, her options were becoming more and more limited.

Kate peered at the bottle curiously and he turned it so she could read the label. "Can I try it?"

"Sure," he said, handing over the bottle without hesitation. She took a sip and then pulled a face that made him laugh. "Yeah, it took a while to grow on me."

"No thanks," she said as he handed back the bottle.

"I can get you something else…"

"No, I'm fine; thank you."

He sat down beside her as she rearranged in her seat, so she was less reclined and sitting more upright. As she moved, the front of her tank top sagged in the middle so he could catch a glimpse of the bullet wound between her breasts. He knew that she was self-conscious about it because of how often he noticed her pulling up the neck of a t-shirt or the straps of a tank top, though she never actually said anything about it aloud. He'd seen it in the open only once when she'd fallen in the shower and he'd rushed in to help her. In that moment he was so concerned she might have been injured his brain barley registered anything beyond it looking like a dark colored circular scab.

Since then, he'd only seen a few glimpses. He tried to never openly stare at her breasts as that was impolite (and, frankly, something she would definitely smack him for), but occasionally when she was adjusting her top his eyes were naturally drawn to the spot. He had to admit being curious to see it up close not because of its location but simply for the fact that it was a bullet wound and he was curious as to what they looked like as they healed. It did make him sad she seemed ashamed of it though because in his mind there was no reason for it. It was proof of her survival and if for no other reason that meant it should have been celebrated.

A few minutes later, Kate tossed her book towards the end of the chaise lounge and looked up at him with an expression that indicated annoyance. "Not a good book?" he guessed.

"The main character is making dumb choices and it's frustrating."

He hummed. "Hmm yeah I hate that. I hope my books never do that to my readers… I mean, unless I intentionally want Derrick or Nikki to do something dumb," he added with a wink.

"Right. I think I'm just extra annoyed because I'd previously tried to read a different book from this author and I had the same results—dumb plot decisions that didn't make sense. But I thought I'd give them another chance and, surprise, surprise, the same thing is happening again."

"Yeah, I get that." He let a beat go by before asking, "Who would you say your favorite author is—other than me of course."

She rolled her eyes at him then looked pensive for a moment. "You know… I'm not sure that I have one. That is: I don't typically follow authors to the point where I'm checking for a new release and going out to get it right away-"

"Except with me," he interjected cheekily.

"Well, no—I don't have to get your new ones; you send them to me."

He laughed. "Touché."

"But, no, I like to go into a used bookstore and browse and pick up a few titles that look good."

He placed his hand on his chest and gasped in a faux dramatic way. "You mean you…judge those books by their covers?"

"Ha-ha," she retorted. "Obviously I'm reading the summaries as well."

"I see. So then…what's your favorite book?"

"Oh gosh Castle I don't know if I could pick one…I loved so many of them for different reasons."

"Okay then, I'll narrow it down: favorite book of mine."

She shook her head as she bit down on her lower lip. "Always fishing for compliments."

"Who me?" He faked innocence. "Never."

"Well then how about you tell me your favorite book."

"Oh, that's easy—Casino Royale."

"Interesting choice. Why that one?"

"Because it was the book that made me become a writer. I was just so captivated with all of it that I couldn't help but think…this is what I want to do. I want to do this for others."

A smile slowly crept across her face. "That's really neat, Castle. And you know…I don't think I've ever read that book."

"You should! I think I have a copy here in the house somewhere that you could borrow."

"Thanks; I'd like that."

"Of course. Hmm okay, favorite book is a difficult question, I admit, but how about: favorite place to read?"

She arched a brow at him. "Are you interrogating me now, Castle?"

"Not at all, Beckett; these questions are conversation starters," he said knowingly. Then, more hesitantly he added, "Unless you want to go back to reading…"

She gazed at him for several moments—long enough to cause more sweat droplets to fall from his hairline—but then she smiled and said, "No, we can definitely talk for a little bit."

For almost the next hour they talked about their favorites in a variety of genres. Some answers he already knew or had guessed the answer, but others he was excited to learn about. When they started talking about their favorite vacations was when he posed a different type of question.

"Okay, okay—would you rather never go on a beach vacation again or only go on beach vacations for the rest of your life?"

She laughed. "Why would I ever have to make that choice?"

"Because we're playing the would-you-rather question game."

"Are we?"

He grinned. "Sure. So, pick one."

She groaned and raked her fingers back through her hair. "I do like the beach, but there are so many places I want to go that aren't anywhere near one."

"Like where?"

"Rome, Prague, Dublin…"

"Dublin's on the coast so I'm sure there's a beach there somewhere," he pointed out.

She narrowed her gaze. "That feels like manipulating the rules, but even still: there are lots of places I want to see that are inland."

He nodded. "So, no more beach for you."

"But then I could never come back here," she said sadly.

Castle's jaw dropped slightly when he realized she might have been thinking of him in conjunction with her vacation plans. Exploring new parts of the world with Kate Beckett sounded like a dream come true and he couldn't wait to do it. Of course, there were no actual restrictions on what they could do, they were just playing a silly little game, so he tried to keep the mood light. "Well…you could, you just couldn't set foot on the sand."

She laughed. "But I could still use the pool?"

"Oh yeah—that would fall within the rules of the game."

"You're crazy!" she accused, still laughing.

"But you already knew that. C'mon—ask me something now. Something 'would you rather.'"

"Uh…okay." She hesitated for several moments before saying, "Would you rather lose your sense of sight or sense of hearing?"

"Ohh tough one." He considered for several seconds before saying, "Hearing, I think. Either would be awful, but with sight I could still do my writing and I could learn to read lips."

"Yeah, I agree on that one."

"Okay…next… oh! Would you rather have excessive body hair or excessive body odor?"

"Castle!" she scolded, though she was laughing.

"What? Hairy or stinky Beckett—you gotta pick one!"

She scrunched her nose. "Oh…this is gross…but I guess hairy?"

He laughed. "You'd look pretty interesting with a beard."

Groaning she covered her face with her hands. "I don't know what freaks me out more: the beard or the back hair, but…I don't want to smell."

"Me neither. Okay, now you ask something."

Their "would you rather" game continued for awhile longer with Kate struggling to come up with questions and Castle's growing progressively more outlandish. Eventually they switched to just talking about random things as the night wore on and the temperature mercifully began to drop.

At one point, Castle snorted himself awake and realized he'd fallen asleep with his chin dropped down against his chest. Looking at his watch it was seven minutes after two in the morning and he cursed to himself. Still trying to orient himself from being suddenly awake, he turned his head and saw Kate was asleep as well. Unfortunately, had no idea how long either of them had been that way, but it had probably been at least an hour. Not wanting her to spend the night outside alone, he moved over to sit on the edge of her chair and gently brushed his fingertips across her jawline. "Kate? Kate, we fell asleep."

She snuffled and her eyes popped open. "Hmm what? Where…we fell asleep!" she realized with a gasp.

"Yeah, it's after two."

"Oh no," she laughed. She stretched her neck to one side as she sat up. Wincing slightly, she brought her hand up to rub it as she concluded, "Guess we should go to bed."

"Yeah, you go on up; I'll make sure everything is locked and the lights are off."

"Okay. Night Castle."

"Night," he echoed.

Sitting at the kitchen table with her second mug of coffee, Kate used the back of her hand to shield what must have been her twentieth yawn that morning. She had slept until eight, which didn't mean much since she hadn't crawled into bed until almost three. For the second night in a row, she and Castle had been on the deck talking into the wee hours. Not that she was complaining, exactly. It had been…fun. Really fun. Amazing as it seemed, it felt like they never ran out of things to talk about. They could have continued talking even later were it not for continual yawns and drooping eyelids that ultimately made them decide to go to sleep.

Just as she was about to yawn again her father sat down beside her. He had a large apple on a plate in one hand and an apple and his coffee in the other. He said nothing as he began to slice around the core of the apple, ending up with five oddly shaped pieces. He handed her one of the larger ones and said, "Maybe you wouldn't yawn as much if you went to bed before three a.m."

Kate blushed as she bit into the apple slice. "Sorry, Dad; I didn't think I woke you."

He chuckled as he put the knife down on the edge of the place and picked up a slice for himself. "I'm surprised you came in at all. Doesn't Castle want you to stay with him?"

Kate promptly choked on her apple. After taking a sip of coffee and gulping down the rogue piece of fruit she cleared her throat as sweat formed on her brow. God—oh god—did her father think she was sneaking into their room after she and Castle had been having sex? What was she? Seventeen and hooking up with her boyfriend in the emergency stairwell in her building because both of them lived with their parents and then creeping back into her apartment hoping that no one noticed her sweater was on backwards? Not that that had actually happened, for course…

"Wha—Dad, no—we're…we're talking. On the deck."

Now appearing even more amused Jim asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

He casually bit into another apple slice. "Whatever you say, Katie."

Finding herself annoyed that she was being accused of something that of course at thirty-two she'd be way better at hiding, Kate continued to balk. "Dad, this is so—I wouldn't—I mean of course not. We wouldn't—Castle and I. We're just-"

"Completely in love with each other," he finished for her.

Too shocked to do anything else and feeling a little like she'd taken another bullet to the chest, Kate merely squeaked incoherently in response. "Wha…"

Her father looked at her as serene as ever and said, "We all see it, Katie."

Now feeling like a wave of anxiety had crashed over her and she couldn't yet kick to the surface to get a breath of air, Kate stood from her seat and paced the small area behind the chair as she fanned herself. "You all…oh god, are you guys talking about us behind our backs?"

"No, no nothing like that." Jim promised. "Though a few weeks ago Martha did ask me if I wanted to help her cast some sort of spell on you two, so you'd come to your senses."

Realizing the pacing wasn't helping, Kate flopped back down in her seat and spoke very quietly. "Dad, you know this is one of the reasons why I'm doing therapy so I can…" She hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Feel okay about…being in a relationship."

"And how do you think that's going?"

"Good," she responded. Her father arched his brow at her and she continued quickly, "Seriously—it's good. I do feel better I just… it's so scary." Her gaze drifted out the window towards the back yard where Castle and Alexis were setting up a lawn game he'd purchased online. A storm had come through overnight and dropped the temperature back down into the mid-eighties, which felt downright cool compared to their triple-digit heat wave, so he'd promised to teach them all how to play and they'd make an afternoon of it. Pulling her thoughts back to the conflicted emotions bubbling in her chest, Kate realized that especially after the prior two nights of talking she now felt that like they were more than just friends. Every part of her longed for him, but the freedom to be in a relationship still felt just out of reach.

Turning back to her father she asked softly. "What if I get hurt?"

"What if you do?" he responded. She gave him a perturbed look at he continued, "Seriously what if you do? There are no guarantees. Look at your mother and I."

Kate felt her face flush as she hadn't intended to bring up bad memories for him. "Dad…"

"I know my advice only carries so much weight given what I've been through, what I put you through, but you need to know: I'd do it all again. Given the chance to go back, even knowing how it would end, I'd do it over again just to have those years with your mother. Even if it's not forever that level of happiness is worth it, Katie."

She gave a rather fractured smile and wasn't quite sure how to respond since his comments only made her feel more unsettled. To distract herself briefly she unlocked her phone and checked her email on auto-pilot. When she did, she saw that an official one had come through and her brow knitted together. "Oh…"

"Something wrong?"

She skimmed through the email for another moment before meeting her father's eye. "Not really… I just got the official notification that my leave of absence is coming to an end and I'll be put back on the schedule rotation in early August."

"Field duty?" he asked with notable concern.

"No, desk for four weeks and then I'll need to re-pass weapons certification and have a physical."

"And how do you feel about that?"

She sucked in a breath and allowed herself a moment to process the news. On one hand, she was definitely ready to go back. She loved her job and felt driven to do it; it truly was her purpose. She had not been out of work that long since she started working in her mid-teens, so being out of work for several months should have felt crazy and wrong. It did, in some ways, but not entirely, though she chalked that up to the great deal of physical healing she'd been doing. On the other hand, going back to work at that point meant up-ending her whole routine. True, it was going back to a routine she'd had in the past, but not one she'd been familiar with. And, with the pandemic, there was definitely no going back. The routine would be similar, yet vastly different due to the new protections and precautions she needed to take. Further to the point: the new routine would not involve Castle, or the other family members she'd grown accustomed to as of late. Thinking about herself in terms of physical recovery only, she knew she was doing well and had improved greatly, but there remained some things she couldn't do. For instance: chasing a fleeing perp and tackling him. Doing so in that moment felt like it might break her, especially if she was forced to land on her left side.

"Um… I don't know. It's… it's been ten weeks but in some ways, it almost doesn't feel like enough time. I know I'll be okay, especially since I'm not going out into the field right away but…it's just…sad." Her gaze drifted out into the back yard again as she said, "I'll miss this little oasis."

"Oh, something tells me you'll be coming back here a lot."

Her jaw dropped as her head whipped back and she saw Jim casually sipping his coffee in order to hide a cheeky grin. "Dad." She sighed.

He laughed. "What?"

"Don't…don't pressure me. Please." If she allowed herself, she probably could have easily agreed that she did see returning to the Hamptons house along with Castle in her future, but she wasn't there—not yet.

Jim smiled, patted her arm and said, "Not pressuring Katie, I promise. I just want you to be happy." Then, with that, he picked up his plate and mug and returned them to the kitchen, leaving Kate alone at the table with her thoughts.