CHAPTER 12

After about two hours of me sitting next to Thomas, Clint comes back and sits down next to me.

'You seem like something's on your mind,' he says. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

I nod. 'Yeah, I just…' I tell Clint about Newt telling me he loved me, leaving out the part about his suicide attempt. I figured that it was personal and Newt wouldn't want me to talk about it. Then I tell him about my mixed feelings about Newt and Thomas. I don't tell him about any of my memories. Lastly, I tell him about what happened today, with Newt, and how he told me that he thinks I love him.

'Damn,' Clint says when I finish talking. 'I mean, I don't have any experience with girls, but from what I know about guys, his response is pretty expected.'

'What do you mean?' I ask, confused.

'I mean, he's been here for a long time with just boys. And boys are competitive and they have huge egos. We don't really know anything else. But now, all of a sudden, he feels a connection with you and tells you he loves you. But the same day, another guy says it. And the difference is, the other guy, Thomas, has proof. He has memories.'

'So what?'

'Remember when I said boys are competitive?' I nod. 'Thomas remembers his past with you. But Newt doesn't he doesn't remember if you were ever together, and so he feels like Thomas won. And he's not okay with that. He doesn't want to give up. But he also doesn't know how to apologize, and he thinks that being direct is the only way to get his feelings across. That's what happened today. He was telling you that he loves you, and asking if you loved him back. But when you went off on him, he felt lost and confused, and he didn't know what to say. Then you stormed off and left him even more confused.'

'But…' I shake my head, bewildered. 'Why would he just say that he thinks I love him?'

'Grace, you're forgetting. None of us remember even talking to a girl. Like I said, he was just trying to be direct. I'm sure he has no idea that he did anything wrong. Boys are pretty dumb like that.' Clint winks.

I smile. 'You know, Clint? You and Jeff are like the brothers I don't remember.'

Clint grins and wraps his arm around my shoulder. 'Well, you're like the sister I've always needed.'

'So what do I do? Talk to Newt?' I ask.

'No, let him come around. He's a dumb boy, but we usually figure stuff out after a while.'

I nod. Clint leaves for lunch and I sit in silence for a few more minutes. I can't stop thinking about my conversation with Thomas… and my conversation with Newt. I change the cloth on Thomas' forehead. He looks paler than before. I know Clint said it was an Aftershock, but I still feel guilty. I still feel like it was my fault somehow. Like I shouldn't have gone to talk to Newt.

I'm lost in thought when Thomas slowly opens his eyes.

'Grace?' he says, confused. He tries to sit up, but he doesn't have the strength to do so.

'Hey,' I say, 'it's okay. Don't try to sit up. You had an Aftershock seizure.'

'I… I remember more. Like, I thought I remembered everything before, but now there's more memories. More things.' Thomas tries again to sit up.

'Sh…' I say. 'You're okay. Just breathe. Relax. Lay down.'

After a second, he stops trying to sit. 'I'm so tired…' he says. 'I need to tell you everything, but not here. I'll come to your treehouse tonight…'

I shake my head. 'No you won't. You're in no shape to do that.'

He sighs. 'Fine. I won't.' His head turns away from me and closes his eyes again. I change his towel again. Clint walks back into the room, holding three trays… one looks like it's about to topple over. I rush to help him and take one of the trays.

'Thanks,' he laughs.

'Yeah, of course. You're hungry, huh?' I grin.

'Haha, very funny.' Clint rolls his eyes. 'One for me, one for Tommy when he wakes up, one for you.'

I smile. 'Yeah, I figured. Thanks, Clint.' I take two trays and put one on the bedside table for Thomas. 'He was awake for a couple minutes, said he remembered more. Didn't say what, though.'

Clint nods and takes a bite out of his chicken sandwich. Through a mouthful of food he says, 'I wonder what they remember. Is it just like what our lives were before? Or do they not remember concrete things, just some abstract stuff? I don't know…'

I shrug. The few memories Thomas has revealed have been fairly specific, but they'd all been centralized towards me and us. And my own memories were splotchy at best.

'Shuck it, Clint,' Thomas mutters, 'you're interrupting my beauty sleep.'

'Yeah, and we can all see how much you need it, ya shank.' Clint rolls his eyes. 'You look like a piece of klunk.'

'Gee, thanks, Clint,' Thomas laughs.

'For real, man. Get some sleep. If you don't have another Aftershock I'll let you get back out in the Maze the day after tomorrow, if you want to at least.'

'Oh, come on,' Thomas says. 'I'm fine. Just lemme out of this prison.'

Clint acts insulted. 'Prison? Wow, thanks. It's not like I've been taking care of this place for the last couple years.'

Thomas laughs. 'You know what I meant. I want to get back to Running.'

A thought pops into my head. I… I had to. I want to ask what he meant, but I'm not sure if I should say anything about it in front of Clint.

I give Thomas a look, and I know he can tell that I'm trying to ask him something. He looks at me and shakes his head as if to say 'Not now.'

I tap Clint on the shoulder. 'Let's give him some space, let him rest.'

Clint nods and walks out the door. I stay behind for a second, trying to decide whether or not to ask Thomas now. After a moment, I say, 'Good night' and follow Clint. I can barely hear Thomas' response, but he mumbles, 'Good night, Grace.'

I go to my treehouse, climb into the hammock and almost immediately fall asleep.