12

Operation Fuck Daddy Dearest was in effect as Jack backed up the truck, the beeping noise of the safety feature making staff come out with interest to watch as Ianto leapt from the passenger door to wave to them "Hey guys. Guess who is moving back in?"

"Oh darling!" the Chef yelled in his high pitched voice "thank god. I can't stand making another tapioca pudding. Come on, chocky pudding tonight?"

"Yes please Arthur, make it for… er… twenty! I want the staff to eat with us and I have some friends coming as well, OK?" Ianto nodded "And can we not have fancy shit? I would kill for one of your roasts."

Arthur puffed with delight as the young man patted his shoulder affectionately. He knew that would mean at least three courses and the staff invited to sit too? YUM!

Ianto then giggled as Jack passed with boxes. "You remember where my room is Cariad?"

"Follow the scent of scorched earth? Yeah. Nice and big. I can fit my desk in under the window when the other truck gets here" Jack shot over his shoulder.

The staff blinked and then turned to Ianto with open interest as Anna stepped forward like the designated person to ask. "sweetie?"

Ianto shrugged "So? Yes, I am moving my fancy man in with me. SO? He is soooo fancy is he not?"

Laughter as they felt the house shifting, then Ianto added "Also… the older siblings. Can we clear their rooms out? Put their things into the third garage? They can come get them at their leisure. Silly to have rooms each when they are not living here, houses of their own with Sean ten minutes up the road and Rhiannon less than a twenty minute drive away, not like they need to stay overnight … they can come for their junk, right? MY house, MY junk!"

"Just leave the little miss?"

"Yes Julia, Pipsqueak still has a room as long as she is in need of it." Ianto agree, then added "My mother is still welcome too."

"And your father?" Barry asked.

Ianto shrugged at the groundskeeper who had been there to visit with his lover, the Chef "up to him. Like I say My house and My rules. IF he doesn't like it he can jog on. GrandTad gave me the place as my Christmas Pressie, wasn't that grand? My house now. And while he is under my roof, my father had better live by MY rules!"

Ianto then turned to one of the footmen "Roger Dodger. Can you prepare the blue room? I have a lovely couple coming to stay in there for a while… he's a doctor ya know."

"Oooo" Roger grinned "So… who else?"

"Anna. I need you and Coral to sort out the Royal Suite. God, I hate that title. Come up with something else while you are at it. Never used to be called that. I have another couple coming for that and they are a couple of queens I guess, then four more singles? Well, depending on how much we drink… some might wind up in someone else's bed with these nutters."

Now laughter was booming s thy all saw the mess about to erupt everywhere and the gleeful man inviting his father's wrath. The Chef choked out "Hewey won't like that happy shit!"

"No. Why suitcases are best taken to his room and left by his bed just in case he needs them" Ianto sniffed haughtily, then let them laugh some more. "Right… come on. I want to take down some paintings I always hated and we can decide on what colour I am going to paint the drawing room. How about purple? No? Pink? Lilac?"

Ianto watched Charles slide out the door into the main hallway then take off and knew he was running for his lord and master. Little sycophant. Good. Saves him having to tell his father, seems his little bum licker was going to get there first.

Ianto found Jack in the bedroom puling things about and throwing things into the hallway with glee from the 'go' pile to crate space. Then he looked at Ianto who turned and strode to the window Jack wanted his desk under, opening it wide to start to throw stuff out it "Why waste energy Cariad. This way, then a bonfire tonight!"

"God, that is clever" Jack giggled, a bedside lamp fling out to smash on the lawn below "oops. Did you want that?"

"Butter fingers" Ianto agreed, throwing some boring sports awards from his childhood he always hated. He hated being a swimmer, he did love rowing and was pleased to keep those awards and medals, ribbons… but swimming always felt so pushed. He did it to please his parents, winning events so they could crow to their friends. Ribbons fluttered in the breeze as Ianto threw another handful and laughed as he leaned out to watch them land in the bushes. A flash of skirts as his mother darted out to snatch the ribbons and race back inside with them. Whatever. She had plenty of time to take what she wanted. He hiffed a pewter cup at the lawn, satisfied when it hit so hard it sank into the sod.

"So.. new year, new you huh?" Jack asked.

"Yes you got here just in time for the metamorphosis" Ianto seized him, kissing him with gusto then heard the sound of bellowing as his father raced along the hallway. Ianto stepped back and whirred "Showtime."

Jack did not know what Ianto wanted but acted instinctively, dropping his pants to the floor and turning with his semi-erect penis poking out to stare at the doorway as Hew stormed in and started to yell at Ianto… blink…look at the half naked man in hero pose, the dick sticking out between the tails of his shirt…. Big… wow… er…. Ianto did a double take at Jack and then doubled down with a raised eyebrow at his father like this was his fault somehow.

"F…ahhhh"

"Yes father?" Ianto asked like nothing was wrong.

"Ah…" Hew turned on his heel and left the room, Ianto bursting into peels of uncontainable laughter as Jack swing to face him, his erection bouncing.

"Was it something I said?"