Chapter 12. Concerns
The November transformation was so devastating that the following day Madam Pomfrey decided to keep him in the infirmary for the night as well.
The wolf seemed to get more and more nervous: the scratches increased, the wounds got bigger and fatigue and pain reigned supreme. Even the healer's fantastic orange potion didn't help him that time.
In the afternoon he woke up, but any attempt to get out of bed was in vain - he was so weak that he could not even sit up. He recovered slightly only in the evening: after Madam Pomfrey brought dinner which the boy ate with great enthusiasm.
Remus tried to get the woman to let him out, claiming he was fine, but she was adamant and so he had to surrender to his fate.
He thought about his friends all night.
Will they still be having fun without me? Well, definitely. They are fantastic! My presence, on the other hand, is not essential.
He often thought these things and punctually, whenever it happened, he felt sad.
He fell asleep thoughtfully.
November 4, 1971
That morning Remus woke up still very shaken: he was again full of pain and his mood was on the ground. But thanks to Madam Pomfrey and her miraculous potion - which worked that time - he finally managed to get out of bed and slowly began to feel even better. He was given the green light and so, after having breakfast, he went up to the dormitory to take the necessary for the first lesson of the day. He hoped he could meet the others, but Gryffindor Tower was empty. He picked up the material, the Herbology book and got out.
"Hello professor, sorry for the delay .." he announced once at the entrance to the greenhouse.
"Oh, Mr. Lupin, don't worry! I knew you would come. " Sprout exclaimed and then continued: "Please, join your mate. I was just going to explain today's lesson. " the boy nodded and walked over to Marlene.
As soon as the two looked at each other, they smiled. When he sat down, he lifted his face and saw the three boys staring at him with a worried face. He avoided those looks and didn't say a word throughout the lesson.
"How are you, Remus?" the girl asked in a low voice halfway through the hour.
"Good, why?"
"Yesterday nobody saw you .."
"Oh, um, I had to stay a little longer with my mother."
"I understand .. Is she okay?"
Remus shrugged.
"Well, I'm glad you're here. Yesterday at Charms Dorcas and I got a lot bored without you. " Marlene said, continuing to look at him. "However, the important thing is that you are ok."
"Yes Marl, don't worry." the boy answered, smiling at her. "Thank you" she smiled back and nodded and sighed in relief. "What did Flinch explain yesterday?"
Remus thought it was best to change the subject, and in doing so they shifted the focus from him to Charms. Marlene said briefly what had been explained and then they went back to listening to Sprout.
At the end of the lesson the boys ran against him.
"Are you all right, mate?" James asked in alarm.
"Where were you?" Peter continued.
"We were worried! When we didn't see you come back yesterday, we thought something had happened… "Sirius said.
"We even went to McGonagall's!" exclaimed the little fellow.
"But obviously she didn't tell us anything…" James rolled his eyes.
"So? Everything is alright?" the black-haired boy insisted.
"Yes, everything is fine .. I just had to stop for more time." Remus replied, dazed by their reaction.
"So are you all okay?" James asked firmly.
"Sure."
"Thank god." Peter said.
"Why are you guys so worried? I just went to my mother like every month .. "
The three looked at each other.
"There have been attacks…" Peter looked terrified.
"Attacks?"
"Yup. I don't think you know anything about it, but here in the wizarding world we are at war. " James said seriously. Remus had never seen him so serious.
"What?"
"There is this man, a mad one, who is convinced that muggles, muggle-wizards and those who basically think differently from him are useless and that only 'purebloods' are worthy of living. In short, he wants to 'purify' the magical world .. "explained the boy with the glasses with a disgusted look.
"Really? This is crazy! Doesn't he know how the Second Muggle World War ended? "
"And he is not alone… indeed, he has many followers! And last year they started killing a lot of muggle families… "Peter continued.
There was a minute of silence.
"Last night in the Daily Prophet we read that in the afternoon there was a new attack on a family made up of two parents and a boy and we feared it could be you .. then, when we didn't even see you this morning, we ran to the McGonagall but she didn't want to tell us anything. " Sirius said, looking him in the eye. "We were very worried."
Seeing all that worry in the boy's gray eyes, he felt a pang in his stomach.
"But luckily you are fine." James nodded, put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. They exchanged smiles.
"Sorry .. I didn't want to worry you." Remus felt guilty.
"It's not your fault." Peter pointed out.
"We'd better go get things for Quidditch. Today perhaps the teacher will make us do some laps around the field! " James exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Oh well, I was really looking forward to it…" Remus pretended to be as happy as James. The three burst out laughing.
Even that time, Remus found the flying lesson particularly useless. As usual he sat in the stands and spent the whole hour chatting with Lily and Emmeline, a Ravenclaw girl.
"Fortunately, next year we are no longer obliged to fly" Emmeline said, watching listlessly the other boys make the rounds of the field. "At least we can use these two hours to study or to do something we at least like."
"God, don't make me think about it… I still have to write the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay on the Red Caps! Maybe I'll go later in the lib-"
"Essay? Which essay? " Remus interrupted Lily.
"Right! You weren't there yesterday .. nobody told you what we did? "
"No. Marl just told me about Charms. "
"I thought the others had told you about it .. uff, idiots! Anyway we have to do research on the Red Caps and for Potions we have to review everything we have done so far because Slughorn will most likely ask some questions. "
"Oh, great." Remus said ironically. "Did I miss anything else?"
"Not really. Then oh well, yesterday Mulciber blew up his pot, and I have to admit it was fun; Peter, I don't know how, destroyed his box using 'Alohomora' and Sirius got an Howler from his mother for his birthday .. this wasn't nice to see. "
"An Howler? On his birthday? Poor thing… "said the Ravenclaw.
"I know! I felt so sorry for Sirius! " exclaimed the redhead. "You should have heard what she said!"
"What?" asked the girl with the long black hair.
"At first she yelled that Sirius is a disappointment and a failure for the whole family and then went on to say that since it was his birthday, they were obliged - as parents - to wish him well and give him something, even if this went against their will. "
"What a horror .."
"Yeah .."
"So they gave him a gift?"
Lily nodded.
"An owl."
"At least they gave him a useful gift."
"I suppose so."
Remus didn't move. He felt guilty.
Yesterday was his birthday and I didn't know it! I didn't wish him well .. now he'll think I'm a horrible friend.
"Rem, what's going on?" Lily asked, noticing that the boy was lost in his thoughts.
"I didn't know." Remus answered.
"What didn't you know?"
"Yesterday was Sirius' birthday and I didn't know it."
"You couldn't have known. He hadn't told anyone. "
"I should have been close to him after his mother's Howler, and instead I wasn't there .."
"Honey .." the redhead took his hands and forced him to look at her "It's not your fault. None of us knew about the birthday, not even Potter. And I'm pretty sure he's not mad at you just because you didn't wish him well. Do you trust me, yes? "
Remus nodded,
"Here, then believe me when I tell you there is no need to worry. Ok? You are friends and this is just nonsense. "
The boy looked up and smiled faintly at his friend.
Lily had been very nice to him, as usual, but this was not enough to make him pass the guilt that at that moment was devouring him from the inside.
There was only one thing to do: talk to Sirius and apologize.