She used to look at herself every day in front of the mirror, always conscious about her features and always counting her flaws. Her days would end with a list of things she wished she could change, even when she knew she would never have that chance. Then she would try to forget, only for another day to begin.
She would find herself in front of the mirror once again.
It was a vicious cycle where she constantly found everything about her to be different. Wrong, in a way. She never liked the color of her hair and she hated how pale her skin was. She wanted her hair to be black like her mother's and for her skin to be a tad darker like the other children her age. Her eyes were sharp — so unlike the young girls in their village, with their big doe eyes and cute grins. She tried smiling once. Her mother called it ugly.
She thought so too. It didn't stop her from practicing in front of the mirror, however.
Over the years, though, she stopped doing this. It was a gradual process; one where she never noticed when exactly it happened, but she definitely knew why. And as the memory of his words continuously ring in her mind — "Wow, she's cute!" — she slowly grew to accept what she once hated about herself. She would check herself once in a while, of course, but it was more for vanity reasons rather than obsessive nitpicking of what she had written off as hideous.
In fact, ever since their arrival at Patch, she had spent most of her time worrying about everything else but her looks.
She realized this when she caught herself checking her body in front of a mirror, her gaze particularly set on her abdomen.
She once held the ability to hear the inner hearts of people, to have an in-depth knowledge on their fears about the unknown. She didn't hear the words exactly, but she felt the feelings that were associated to their glares thrown her way. In their heart of hearts, they called her a demon, even had gruesome thoughts of how they saw her too. They likened her to disgusting monsters with large fangs and grotesque claws. And in a way, it caused her to shape what she thought of herself to look like as well. Maybe without the claws and the fangs — she knew she didn't have those because she checked a lot of times — but a monster, nonetheless.
It took one meeting with a boy and his walking-and-talking pet cat to change her perspectives of herself. These days, she never really had enough reason to doubt her features physically. The first time they met, Yoh thought of her as cute. He never changed his mind, even as she took on the role as his personal trainer. That little fact was always enough to make her cheeks blush and her heart beat a little faster. It also made her a tad confident about herself.
But this was new territory to her and it left her thinking, hoping, and eventually doubting every belief and foundation she had ever built for herself. It made her worry constantly even when she knew it was inevitable.
The recent developments of the Shaman Fight had pushed both Yoh and her to further their relationship at an incredibly fast pace, ensuring that there would be hope for the Asakura bloodline to continue should the odds be unfavorable. No matter how they persevered, there was always that looming threat of losing their lives. They had no choice. This was their responsibility.
This was their cross to bear.
It didn't matter to Ann because she loved Yoh with all her heart. And she loved this little one too even when she was still barely showing, although Faust did reassure her that she was going to keep growing as the months passed.
As well, the doctor also gave her a solemn advice.
Tell Yoh, he would urge her after every examination. It would do great for his morale to keep fighting, the doctor insisted with a smile. It would make him ecstatic. That and it was the perfect reason for him to come home in one piece. He even offered to be by her side when she told Yoh the news, if she wanted him. Anna had to shake her head.
She would tell Yoh privately. She already made this choice the moment she found out about her pregnancy. She had to.
And she tried. She really did.
Anna wanted to reach out to him so badly, as soon as she found out about their growing child, but circumstances were never on her side and by this time the Shaman Fight was finally reaching its peak.
Hao's sudden arrival at the onsen — she heard the scuffles and the screaming from her room and knew right then that Hao had intruded in on their hot springs bath, uninvited — was proof of that. He was seeking for a temporary truce because trouble was coming. She knew what Hao knew as well. For that, she played her part and informed Yoh of what she suspected all along. They were being tracked by humans. They needed to go to Mu now or else Hao would massacre the bumbling humans who thought they could keep the shamans at bay. Yoh looked shocked while Hao was as smug as ever. She didn't bother acknowledging either twin.
She left just as quickly as she made her appearance, her steps firm despite her worries.
Thus, the end of the line for her as well. The moment she was out of earshot from Yoh, she felt her heart stir. She had run out of time. Yoh will have to find out once he returns from the battle.
If he returns.
The thought was disheartening. She felt another jolt in her chest.
To cope, she went to the porch and sat there, underneath a starry sky. She learned this from Yoh and although it did calm her irrational feelings somewhat, the possibility of waking up one day and tending to a fatherless child burdened her so much it almost left her breathless.
She sighed to herself, unconsciously patting her still-flat belly.
Lost in her own thoughts, she barely noticed the soft footsteps coming her way. Yet, she didn't bat an eye when his too-familar presence approached her, his aura always so warm and welcoming despite everything that was happening in his life. She did, however, tilt her head at him when he called her name softly.
Yoh's smile was serene when she gave him a nod.
"You're not in bed yet."
"So are you."
He laughed and sat next to her without preamble. His gaze was set on the stars.
"Hao couldn't sleep with me around." His explanation was followed with a chuckle. "So I thought I might as well stroll around while he dozes off."
Slowly, he turned to her, his perpetual smile plastered in his face.
"I guess that was a good thing too, because you look like you have something to tell me." She opened her mouth but he was already shaking his head. "And no, it's not about Manta and his dad. I'm sure of it."
Eyes wide and brows raised, she immediately looked away with a vexed huff. And she thought she was the one who had Reishi! Who gave him the right to easily read her like this!
She ignored his jovial sniggers.
Silence fell between them after, both lost in the stars. Somehow, along the way, Yoh reached out for her hand and she didn't pull away. They stayed like that, comfortable in each other's presence, before she felt Yoh's grip on her hand tighten.
She bit her lower lip.
"I'm pregnant."
"I know."
Perplexed, she flinched and almost unlinked her hand away from his. He responded by sliding closer to her, the distance between them nonexistent as he threaded her slim fingers between his calloused ones.
"I've always been observant when it comes to you, Anna." He planted a soft kiss on her knuckle. "I knew the moment you woke me up at three in the morning that one time because you were hungry for oranges."
Shocked and speechless, she was rendered to watching him with wide eyes as he slowly wound an arm around her waist, pulling her close that she was almost sitting on his lap, and rested his forehead against hers.
"I'll come back." He whispered, his eyes shut. "I promise you, I will."
She felt like the silliest girl in the world when it became fully obvious to her that she believed him. Here he was, balanced in a precarious state and the fate of the world resting on an impossible bet that he was planning for his showdown against his too-powerful brother, and she was undoubtedly 100% with him all throughout. It was stupid. It was a fool's journey. And yet she was nodding as he kissed her forehead, her belief in him so strong that she would have trembled had it not been for his arm supporting her waist.
"A promise." She echoed as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. "You better hold on to that. Otherwise, I will find you and I will make you pay."
She felt his smile.
"Of course, Anna."
He was going to come home. And by then, the flowers would be blooming.