Ch 13.
"So I ran into Morgan the other day at the fair. He was all touchy feely with some barista slut, which is not surprising since he was very unfaithful, even for a warlock, while we dated. So I just smiled, walked away, then I told Gregory to beat him up. And he just did it! Didn't even asked me why, he just ran over while Morgan was getting a ticket and beat him up! He then turned to the shocked crowd and said 'no ticket.'" Dorcas bragged to the gathered group of witches who giggled in return, they were in the Academy cafeteria for a bit of lunch, while from outside the sounds of hammers, chisels and axes was heard.
"You girls are so lucky. Agatha goes out with that cute puppy dog of a Tommy, you with that beast of a Gregory. And Sabrina has that bloodthirsty Harvey fellow. Why can't warlocks be like that, the string silent, psychotic type?" Amelia, one of the younger witches of the coven that defected during the great raid a few days ago, lamented.
"Well, they aren't 100% percent flawless, for one they are so monogamous! I mean I don't know how you do it Agatha. With so many cute boys around, how come you don't taste from outside your plate?" Prudence inquired.
"Well, Tommy is focused on his baseball career and helping Harvey. So when he's not creating more of those witchunter weapons, he's either training or playing a game, and honestly there's so much work to be done and so many con artists to keep away that I just don't have the time for something like that since I also pitch in."
"So, you're too busy to cheat?" Ambrose inquired, he was enjoying his freedom from punishment by attending the Academy.
"Partially, that and….well, I've recently found that other boys don't hold a candle to Tommy. I mean he doesn't just wasn't to jump my bones. He likes to cuddle and talk, and lie down on his back and let me take charge." Agatha said with a small blush, one that made the other witches give an 'awww' of envy and heartwarming appreciation.
The doors to the cafeteria opened and trough them came the a group hunters, who were all sweaty from having used the before heard tools to some much needed renovation within the Academy.
"We have finished with the statue of the Mornigstar, rubble has been taken to be recycled as mortar filling for the new statues. What is the next task that requires manual labor?" Captain Gregory asked.
"I could use some help at the Church of Night. We need to tear down the satanic symbols there and put the new ones up, you fellas up for vandalizing a church?" Nick said from the table towards the monk like hunters of the Vatican.
"We are available. Where is it?" Gregory asked.
"Easy there, sit down, have some lunch. No reason to overwork yourselves." Dorcas said and smiled towards him. The Captain was unsure how to respond towards Dorcas, considering their current relationship.
He turned to an equally uncertain pack of hunters, then gave an affirmative nod, they all sat down and then once more looked towards their commander for guidance.
The Captain remembered many similar events where he broke bread with other allied faiths, so he muttered 'grace' under his breath and did a quick cross sign, enough to not offend the witches and smaller number of warlocks at the table, but enough for the hunters to feel at ease.
His knights followed suite and then they started filling up their plates.
The witches smiled at the courtesy they were given and continued to eat as well.
"The Pagans have been in this town for the past week. I have heard reports that brother-sister Theo is luring away from them the one innocent that can be redeemed, after that we can go in an purge them from this land." Gregory started, to which the other hunters all nodded.
"Luring, is that what they call it in Rome?" Nick teased.
"I am from Milano, I do not know the customs of Rome." Gregory replied, which did elicit a giggle from the witches, confusing Gregory. Then he realized that it was a humorous statement, so he smiled as well.
"You're all from Milano?" Dorcas asked.
"No, I am from Calais."
"I am from Novgorod."
"My family is from Morocco, but I grew up in Lisbon."
"I am from Glasgow."
"Delhi."
"Cairo."
"Tokyo."
"Johannesburg."
" Atlanta."
"My, my, quite the coalition. How come you're group is like this?" Agatha asked.
"The 77th is amongst the most elite units of the Knights Templar, as such when a company is recruited the process requires the top warriors from the entirety of the Vatican realms and allied domains." Gregory replied.
"You never said you were so high up in the food chain!" Dorcas said with a glee and kissed Gregory boldly.
"Ugh….thank you." Gregory said in embarrassment from the kiss and from being praised, having been raised to banish any vanity or pride, he did not consider his rank to be a great achievement.
The lunch continued in similar manner, as Nick gazed at the absurd scene around him. This was so surreal, so interesting, so against so many rules of yesteryear that he could not help but grin like crazy.
Life had become so very, very much interesting as of late.
"Isn't it about time you went and tried to seduce Spellman and her beau?" Prudence teased Nick.
"Yeah about that. I don't know, I mean she's pretty and smart, but she's just so boring now. I mean go to the mortal school, ice cream, old movies, it's fun from time to time. But where's the parties, the orgies, the degeneracy? I mean what's the point in being a witch if, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the most perverse sexual act in human creatures and one is you're average Friday night at the Lomaxes, you don't try for at least a solid 7?" Nick said and the witches and the few remaining warlocks all laughed at that.
The Knights all remained silent as their faces became a tinge of red from embarrassment.
"Where is the Head Witch and the King?" The Lieutenant asked.
"By Head Witch I can guess you're referring to Sabrina. But king?"
"Yes, Harvey Kinkle, the King of Witchunters." Gregory replied, this made the witches raise their eyebrows in surprise.
"Wait, since when is he a king? I mean what kind of a king drives a beaten up truck like that?" Nick asked.
"Lord Kinkle currently hold the record for most witches shot, that qualified him as a Hunter Lord. Then he lead our ancestors from beyond the grave and slayed many warlocks and witches that followed the Fallen One, with that he was proclaimed the Hunter King." Gregory replied.
There and then the witches remembered that when Caliban was tied up the hunters listened to Harvey, and also got jobs to safeguard his family's mines before organizing the patrols in town.
"Did any of you tell him this?" Nick asked, trying hard to stop himself from laughing out loud.
"Did not the ghosts of the founder of Clan Kinkle proclaim him Kaiser?" Gregory asked, to which Nick broke out in laughter.
"Ok, ok. One the guy is thickheaded, so you gotta tell him to his face that he's top killer dog now. And two-can I watch you tell him and eat popcorn while doing so?" Nick said with delight as the other witches and warlocks anticipated the amusement that would come from seeing his reaction.
Oh Harvey, you suffering makes for the best entertainment. Was the common though of the gathered witches and warlocks.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"That pixie haircut is so good on you!" Sabrina said to 60s Sabrina.
"Why thank you, but I have to say that blue jacket and those shoes are to die for, you have great taste!"
The 60s Sabrina complemented the other one and they both giggled. As the two Harvey's just looked at each other and offered a nod of sympathy before going to the Spellman table and sitting down next to Ambrose, Hilda and Zelda.
"Did he try to break up with you because of some silly reason too?" 60s Sabrina asked.
"Yes! The nerve of him, coming up with all that age gap nonsense!"
"I know right! It's not like there's any potions or spells for that!" Modern Sabrina said, making it clear from her tone that it was chastisement towards both Harvey's.
"Yup, nothing like that at all! Why, you'd need magic for something like that!" 60s Sabrina added.
Meanwhile the two Harvey's both let out a breath of exasperation.
"She put a rain curse on me, you?" Old Harvey asked.
"Locked me up in an enchanted cage until I said I was still her boyfriend. Did you try to off yourself since you took over my original body?" Young Harvey asked.
"Yup, figured I give you back what was stolen, you?"
"Well the Harvey of my world is dead and buried, so it was more of me getting back to my reality, though in my case when we were about to start the undo spell for the soul swap with the Harvey that was killed in the woods. Sabrina went all Japanese tentacle monster on me, grabbed me in an embrace and screamed that she won't let me go, guess I should have thought that after 10 years in the 60s world she'd grow attached to me."
"Wait, yours is basically C'thulu?"
"No, she was originally gonna be forced to marry him, but she instead killed him, ate him and then became a Goddess, yours?" Young Harvey said as a matter of fact, to which Old Harvey nodded, unfazed by all of this.
After a while you just learn to go with the flow.
"Well, mine's a sort of humanoid goat-cat like species that can shape shift into humans, think Warcraft night elves. Hasn't slayed any gods yet, though is winning against Satan, so there's that."
"Ah, how's your health?"
"Bad coughs, strange inoperable yet non-lethal diseases, you?"
"Same. So what's the-GAAH!" Young Harvey was cut off by 60s Sabrina pulling him by the neck tie and then with a sultry look took him to Sabrina's bedroom, the other Sabrina did the same with old Harvey.
They pushed both set of boys on the bed and with a naughty look they climbed them.
"This is messed up Brina!"
"I know!" both sets of Sabrina's replied with excited glee in their voices to both sets of Harvey's words, before they pounced.
The whole thing lasted for about 3 hours/
"Is the bed still intact?" Zelda asked both Harvey's, who after a few hours up there finally descended the stairs, both wobbling, their faces full of kisses and their clothes messy.
"The bed yes, my pride as a man no." Young Harvey said as half collapsed in the kitchen chair, older Harvey took out two coffee cups to help them recover.
The two Sabrina's then descended the stairs, looking all satisfied and smug.
"Now that you've both satiated your hungers, mind telling us why you decided to again mess up the space time continuum by dimension hoping?" Zelda asked sternly.
"To fix the kinks with the spell my alternate self-placed on Harvey." Sabrina said and 60s Sabrina nodded.
And after that the two Sabrina's looked at the two Kinkles, expecting protests from them.
"I could sarcastically say : 'Which kink? The one where the whole plan was a bad idea, or the one where trying to keep going forward with the spell when it's clearly not a good idea'. But I won't." Old Harvey said.
"And I could just keep telling you both it's a bad idea, cause it is. But you won't listen and just forge on ahead regardless of the fact that literally every single person around you says that you should stop, so I won't." Young Harvey added.
"Nope, we'll just help you with this whole train wreck."
"Cause if we can't stop everything from going boom, AGAIN, then we may as well have a front row seat to the fireworks."
Old and Young Harvey said, their voices dripping with sarcasm and reprimand, too bad that the two Sabrina's where not affected, instead they both smirked triumphantly at having gotten their way.
"So, what's the plan?" Hilda asked curiously.
"We go to the dimension where the soul of my original Harvey was sent and we perform a soul sharing spell. It will mix the souls of the 3 Harvey's and make them compatible with their new universes." 60s Sabrina said and Sabrina grinned at that.
"And where exactly is that?" Ambrose asked.
"In the one universe where Harvey was never born, there is the one reality that doesn't treat outsider Harvey's like foreign invaders…cough." 60s Sabrina said and gave out a light cough, she hadn't been in this universe for long, but it was starting to affect her.
"We need to hurry." Young Harvey said and they all nodded.
They all did a ceremony that opened another portal and trough it stepped both sets of Sabrinas and Harveys.
"Looks like it's this way." 60s Sabrina said after performing a locator spell and lead them down from the alley where they crossed dimensions, they were about to enter the street when a group of about 8 thugs appeared at the alleys entrance and blocked their exit.
"Well, well, well what have we-"
BANG BANG BANG.
The thugs was cut off by both Harveys who took out their Uzis that they kept under their coats and shot a few warning shots in the air, the thugs quickly scattered at that.
"No time for clichés…..cough….cough." Old Harvey said and coughed and young Harvey nodded and looked at 60s Sabrina with worry, while he two was feeling a bit lightheaded.
"Says the pair that went all shoot first, as questions latter."
"Yeah, I mean can you two be any more 90s antihero?"
Sabrina and 60s Sabrina teased.
"The guilty will be punished."
"For I am vengeance, I am the night. I AM HARVEY KINKLE!"
The two boys said, making the two Sabrina's shake their heads in exasperation, though they both had a bright smile on their faces.
"Okay, looks like the place where we can find this universe's Sabrina is just across the street." 60s Sabrina said after once more they made their way towards a destination.
It was a club called Lux, and before they could even knock on the door, it opened and a very elegant man came through it.
"Well, well, well, this looks like a party after all!" He said with a British accent.
And upon seeing his face, hearing his voice, the group of 4 all froze, for despite having a different face, different voice, different everything, they immediately recognized who appeared before them.
"Name's Lucifer Mornignstar. And you two must be my daughters from another dimension. Drink? "
In turns out that the one world where Harvey wasn't born, was the same where Lucifer Mornigstar was free to roam the Earth.
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