FFn was having issues when I was trying to post this last week and I didn't realize it didn't post, so enjoy a double update.

This day has been exhausting, and it's not over yet. Instead of the rest day Regina had anticipated, she's spent all day in the studio with Robin and the choreographer going over the piece that's now theirs.

Robin had picked up a lot of it watching her and Killian, but his partnering style is slightly different, and she's having to adjust to that. Thankfully, she and Robin naturally work well together, so adapting isn't all that difficult.

Regina fought it when she got there (far too early for how late she was up) and realized what was happening. Partly out of respect for Killian—it felt wrong to do this dance without him—and partly because she's all twisted up about this Robin thing, and doing a sexy dance together isn't going to help at all with that.

But Killian gave them his blessing, and wants to see them do it, so she didn't have a leg to stand on—unless she wanted to admit to Robin what has her so tortured, and that would be a recipe for disaster.

She knows this is her fault, she was the one who insisted they never talk about what happened on Valentine's Day, as if that would magically make it go away. And of course it didn't, it couldn't.

She'd spent far too much time on the internet last night, when she should have been sleeping, looking up what it means to have an attraction to someone who is not your significant other. Though everything pointed to it being perfectly normal, and in fact it's not the first time this has happened to her, she's still worried. All the other people she's noticed while with Daniel were women, and not anyone she knew well. It was passing and fleeting, more of a wow, she's gorgeous than anything else. It was nothing to stress about, and this is different.

The problem with Robin is that he's Robin. He's her best friend and she can't avoid him. Avoiding it has only made this whole thing worse, is likely why it hasn't fizzled out. Pushing it down and pretending it wasn't happening did not work, but still, she kept trying because she didn't know what else to do. It's not as if denying what was happening ever worked for her in the past, but it's something she continued to do—she never manages to learn.

Not only is Regina risking her relationship, she's risking her friendship, the two most important people in her life. She has a history of self-sabotaging, but this is next level, even for her.

Now, at the worst time possible, she is in a super sexy dance with Robin.

He's all sweaty from practice, his shirt long discarded so his chiselled chest is on full display, and that is not helping her get over this horribly inappropriate infatuation.

Dancing with him this close is not helping her at all; it's making it worse. Rolling on him, mimicking sex with him, just has her wondering what that would be like with him, and for fuck's sake, what is wrong with her?

Her boyfriend is going to be here in three days and here she is practically drooling over her best friend. She's not quite fantasizing about him, but thinking about him in that way, and this cannot happen.

Agreeing to Robin's plan was such a mistake. She should have bowed out, should have called Daniel and told him the good news, should have spent the day packing and changed her flight so she was going back with him.

The internet said infatuations are a sign something is missing in your relationship, and she is well aware of what is missing in hers: time together.

Four years of distance has been killing them. Slowly but surely. That's why Daniel asked her to leave here or let them go. She knows that; there's no set end date to this otherwise. Daniel's got a year and a half left of his residency, but then it's fellowship time, and while he could try to come out here for that, there are no guarantees and she knows he wants to stay where he is. She wants for him to be where he is, because he loves it. She wouldn't want him to uproot his life to come here because what if he hated it, she would never forgive herself.

Her time is much more fleeting, and they've been putting their lives on hold for this dream for far too long now. It would be different if dance wasn't time limited, if she could do this forever, but since she can't, it only makes sense for her to make the sacrifice.

For the first time, she regrets signing next season's contract. She still wants to dance, will always want to dance, but she's worried about her relationship. She would never cheat. Her high school boyfriend, Graham, did that to her, and though it wasn't really love like she thought at the time, it still stung. She loves Daniel far too much to ever hurt him like that. She doesn't want to throw it all away to be with Robin, she's just stuck on the what if they had gone farther, what would that have been like? It's a train of thought that will only lead her to problems, and yet she can't stop it.

She needs this summer with Daniel, needs to reconnect with him for longer than a weekend. Needs more than the rote, almost regimented pattern of day one reunion sex, day two more sex, performance and afterparty, day three hungover lazing around interspersed with more sex until he has to go. They never have enough time to do much more than that, unless it's Christmas or the summer.

But a week after Christmas and ten weeks in the summer aren't enough to sustain a relationship, they both know that. It should be enough to sustain them until next year, it will be, it has to be. For once there is a set end date. For once, the countdown isn't until a defined period, but for a lifetime.

She and Robin have to show Gold their piece tomorrow morning and he'll decide if it's in or out, based on that. It's not up to par yet, but it can get there, Robin is that good. She almost wishes he wasn't, that would make this easier, there wouldn't be a this if that were the case.

Fuck, she has to tell Daniel about this dance. He's not going to be happy, but he won't say anything, not after Romeo and Juliet. He will suck it up and watch this because he's trying to make up for not coming the last time.

It's all such a mess, and her head is a mess, and it's just not how it should be.

They start again, get into their position, Regina at Robin's side with her right leg hooked around his waist, her mouth by his ear as he faces forward. This dance is all passion and fire, things she had no problem acting with Killian, but it was all acting because god, she would never. Here though, she actually feels the tension, feels her breath catch as Robin turns to her, his lips a mere inch away. She doesn't want to melt away from his gaze like the choreography dictates, she wants to lean in, close the distance, burn off all of this tension with him, right here right now. But instead, she melts into his touch, arches her back and head away from him, as the push and pull of the dance begins.

Killian is equally as strong as Robin is, but something about how Robin lifts and holds her, showing off his strength, is sexy as hell. She's not sure what face exactly she's making as she drinks him in from overhead, but the choreographer, Max, compliments her on it, which just makes her cheeks flush.

She reminds herself that Robin and the choreographer don't know this isn't acting, that no one needs to know that, but still she feels the guilty shame of it.

"No, Regina, back to the mood you had, that was exactly it, don't change a thing," Max corrects, and goddammit.

She tries to get back to that, but the guilt is surging and when the dance ends, she asks between pants, "Can we take a minute? I need a little break."

Max nods, "Why don't we take ten, you guys have been working hard. It's almost there."

"Thanks," Regina breathes, and Robin does the same as she slips out of the studio toward the water fountain.

Her bottle is only half empty, but she needs a minute away from them both to clear her head, to settle her mind. She knows what she has to do, for this to look good and how it should, she needs to lean into the attraction, needs to let go of the guilt, but that feels like a betrayal of Daniel.

She sighs, then without really thinking about it steps outside and calls her boyfriend.

He's at work, so she doesn't expect him to answer, but he does.

"Hey, baby, are you okay?" There's alarm in his tone and shit, she's freaked him out. She doesn't do this, doesn't randomly call during the workday. He must think there is some emergency when it's nothing, and she curses herself for this stupid move.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't think this through, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," she hears Daniel's voice soften, "Well, you called at the right time. I was just catching up on my charting and I'm due for a break, so have at it."

Regina swallows heavily, her throat suddenly thick. "I, um… Killian got hurt last night and, uh…"

"Is he okay?"

"He will be, he's out for a few weeks now though. And Robin was helping us rehearse, so he's been asked to sub in and…"

"Baby, you aren't worried about me, are you? I'm not jealous. I trust you. I know I haven't shown you that lately, but I am now. I love you, I trust you, and I can't wait to see you rock this dance with Robin."

Him being so supportive just makes her feel worse. "It's very very sexual."

Daniel chuckles, "I'm well aware, you have told me that before."

"But won't you… doesn't that… bother you?" She's choosing her words carefully, trying to show him it's okay to be uncomfortable with it. Then she'd have an excuse to get out of it, to throw the showing tomorrow morning.

Daniel sighs, "Okay, listen. I know I've been a fucking idiot, and I've given you every reason to worry about this. But you shouldn't have to. I did that to you by being stupid and I'm not doing that anymore. And before you worry about if I'm pretending here, I'm not sparing your feelings or whatever you'll term it. I was being dumb before, I'm done with that, I love you and I am excited to see you dance. Period. No strings, no guilt, no nothing, just excitement, I promise."

Damn, he knows her well, and she's at a bit of a loss for words. She doesn't want to argue because she knows he's being sincere, but wow.

"I… I don't know what to say."

"Regina, I want you to do well with this dance, with every dance. I want you to succeed, and I do not want to hold you back. Okay?"

That lump in her throat is back and she warbles, "Okay," before looking at her watch, realizing her ten minutes is almost up.

She sighs as she tells him, "I'm sorry, my break is almost over, I should get back in there. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"It wasn't wasted," Daniel says sweetly, "I got to talk to you."

That makes her smile and she breathes an I love you with her goodbye before hanging up and going back to the studio.

Regina's guilt is back full force though because Daniel is being so good and supportive, but he doesn't know the full story. She cannot imagine he'd feel the same if he knew about how she feels. That is not a phone conversation though, so she can't do anything about it now. All she can do right now is work on perfecting this dance with Robin.

So she gives herself permission to just enjoy him, enjoy this, enjoy being close to him, getting to show how his presence affects her instead of hiding it.

She tricks herself into thinking it's a good thing, a necessary thing, that it will help her finally get over this. She lets herself look at Robin's sweaty, naked chest, allows herself to eye up his defined arms, gives herself permission to get caught up in the eroticism of the dance.

She lets herself off her leash, and if Max's reaction is any indication, it's to the overall betterment of the dance.

At the end of the next run-through, she and Robin freeze in their final pose, he's sweaty, breathing hard, his pupils blown, which she knows is all because of the hard work he's putting in dancing but her mind wanders to him enjoying this, to him enjoying her, and it's too much. She's already hot and sweaty from the workout, but she grows even warmer, her heart hammering instead of slowing.

Regina helps him up off the floor, and he's asking her something, shit. She asks him to repeat it, feeling her cheeks flare as she does.

"I asked if that felt better in the arch, I held your ankles tighter like you asked and it felt more stable on my end but…"

"Oh, yes, it did, so much better. When you lifted up you had more of my weight and it made the sinking down your leg more controlled and less work. It's still killer, but it wasn't deadly that time if that makes sense."

Robin nods, "It does, I can try to pull up more there, too. I can probably take a little more of your weight, I've just been a little scared of losing my balance."

Max interjects then, "Why don't you two work on that, it's good as is, but if you can take more of her weight without difficulty, it will be easier for her. Let's meet back here at eight tomorrow. Gold wants to see it at nine, so that gives us time to work out any kinks if they are there, but I don't think there will be."

With that, he leaves them to practice.

They make it another two hours before calling it a night, and she knows Max is right. Even after this one day (of nine-hour rehearsal, mind you), the dance feels natural, almost as good as when she danced it with Killian.

How Robin can ever think he's not a phenomenal dancer she'll never understand, he proved it today, as he has many times before.

Robin asks her if she'd like to go with him for a late dinner, which she declines because, "she's tired and wants to go home," something that's not exactly true, but she's spent too much time in close proximity with him indulging her attraction and she needs to remove herself from it.

She video chats Daniel when she gets home, and all it takes is a simple suggestion and Daniel is whipping off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants. It's so wrong, but she is hot and bothered and knows if she does something about it alone there's a risk Robin will pop into her head, and that cannot happen.

With her boyfriend talking her up, watching the enticing rhythm of his hand, not once does Robin cross her mind.

She goes to bed sated, spent and no longer feeling quite so guilty.

Yesterday was a long day, and Robin's feeling it now. He was lucky to get a massage session later today; his muscles need it.

But before that, they have to impress Gold. Robin had approached him at the end of the last show with this plan, needing Gold's permission before he got the choreographer involved. Gold had looked him up and down with an unreadable expression (a common occurrence with him, Robin can never figure out what the man is thinking) before nodding curtly and telling him, "You have thirty-four hours, make it count, dearie."

It was Max, who Gold advised of his actual plan, to come to see them at nine o'clock sharp this morning. It's 8:55 now, and while Robin's not too concerned about it, the dance isn't up to his usual performance par, so there are some residual nerves.

The run-throughs this morning helped with that, and with a few more this afternoon under his belt, it should be fine.

The best thing about learning this dance now is he has no time or energy to be driven to distraction by Regina. The acting in it comes easily, all he does is stop hiding his lustful thoughts. The moves, though, are challenging, and it keeps him from getting too into the lust.

Regina, her acting is absolutely phenomenal. She looks at him like she actually wants him. The first time she gave him that look he forgot what he was doing, too struck by how irresistible that look was. He's better now, keeps his focus on the dance, but god, she is so bloody sensual in this dance, it's insane. Having all that (fake) energy directed at him is otherworldly, and the closest he will ever get to the real thing.

There's a small vindictive part of him that can't wait for Daniel to see this, to feel for once how Robin feels. For Daniel to feel that slither of jealousy when Robin touches her, like Robin does every time Daniel's in town.

He'll never tell anyone that of course, he's got to try and make friends with Daniel this year, but doing this dance with his girlfriend is definitely not going to help with that. Robin was supposed to start sucking up this visit, but given the content of his duet with Regina, he thinks maybe he'll put that off for next season.

Gold's cane clattering against the hall floor alerts them to his presence before he even enters the room. Robin glances up at the clock and it's 8:58, and he knows they'll be expected to start exactly at nine—Gold's instructions are to be met to the letter—so he gets up off the floor, and makes his way toward the centre of the studio.

Once they are in position, and Gold's seated in his chair at the front of the studio, the music begins, and Robin gives it his all.

His lines are crisp and refined, his transitions smooth, his muscles are aching and clenching on the inside, but he doesn't dare let that show. It's mind over matter, and he pushes down all his aches and pains in favour of dancing the hell out of this.

When it's over, Regina's lying on top of him and he's gasping for breath, doesn't move for a good fifteen seconds as he tries to catch his breath. Even after Regina's off of him and up, he doesn't leave the floor, just sits up and spins toward Gold.

Gold eyes them appraisingly and says, "That will do," then gets up and starts to walk out.

Something about it strikes him as hilarious even though it's classic Gold, and Robin has to hold back his laughter, which leads to him snickering on the floor.

When Gold is finally out of earshot, Robin snorts and both Max and Regina look at him like he has three heads.

He's laughing too hard to explain, so he just lets it run its course.

Once he's settled himself, or nearly any way, he tries to explain it, but neither Regina or Max find it half as funny as he did, and Regina starts laughing at him, which just sets off a chain reaction.

Robin laughs so hard he cries, and Max shakes his head at them as he tells them, "Alright well, I think it's good to go. I'll check back in at noon like we discussed. When you two are done with… whatever this is, I'd suggest you take a break for some food."

That's what they end up doing, he and Regina go for brunch at his favourite little diner just down the street. Granny's is an institution, and he loves going during the day like this so he can actually see Granny, a tough old broad with a secret heart of gold. She takes many of the dancers under her wing, and Robin is one of her favourites. At this point, she's practically family, and Robin's been away for far too long.

As expected, he gets a good-natured scolding from her, but the affection is still there, and he swears to her he won't abandon her for so long again.

When Regina gets up to use the restroom Granny slides into one of the free chairs at their table and asks him, "Are you ever going to tell her how you feel? Or do I just have to watch you make mooneyes over her for the next five years, too?"

She gets up as abruptly as she sat down, not giving him a chance to respond and he's a bit stunned. Not because she knows about his feelings, Granny is observant and knows everything, but because she has never once mentioned it to him.

He wants to ask her why now, but Regina's making her way back, so he just sips at his coffee. He'll have to come back another time alone to inquire about it, and likely receive another scolding.