They rode back in almost complete silence. Erik was in no mood for idle chat and by the time they reached Rouen it was dark and the wind was bitter. Erik was feeling nauseous and full of dread and sweat was running miserably down his back. He had wondered to himself many times on the journey back why he had not thought to bring the needle with him, he was a stupid thing, ever hopeful that today, this one time, he wouldn't need it so soon, but he always did.

But they were staying in a hotel, a decided luxury for them both. And this was to make all the difference.

As he raced up the stairs to the room, he heard Nadir tell him to come to his room afterwards and he could barely grunt an answer.

Half an hour later, and feeling infinitely better, he walked along the corridor to see Nadir.

He was greeted with a wonderful sight. There was a fire, there was food and wine, and there was Nadir – and there was a steaming bath in front of the fire. He gave a little laugh, it was almost too good to be true, a morphine-dream.

Nadir beamed at him. "Welcome." If he had looked more pleased with himself he might have burst.

Erik laughed. "You great idiot – what have you done?"

"I thought after today that you needed, no – deserved – something nice. I asked them to light a fire and draw up a bath! Would you like to undress yourself and get into it, before it gets cold?"

"I don't think I've been in a bath since eighteen hundred and forty-three!"

"Ah – would you like me to explain how it works, Erik?" Nadir came over to him. "Firstly, you remove the mask – like that – and then you fling it over there – and then - you kiss your lover – " He took Erik in his arms and they kissed long and deep, and Erik wondered if the bath would be forgotten about, just like that, but Nadir did not forget and continued to undress him, providing a silly commentary as he went, moving Erik closer to the bath and the fire each time he removed another piece of clothing. Erik noticed that Nadir was very aroused by this little charade, hard against his trousers and when he was completely naked, he pressed himself hard against Nadir's hips and said, "perhaps you would like to miss out the bath – "

And despite the fact that Nadir's hands were clasping Erik's buttocks firmly, parting him, he was able to reply, raggedly, "get – in – the – bath."

Erik kissed lightly him again and laughed and held out his long bony hand to be helped in, "I think you shall need to calm yourself then, Nadir."

"Be quiet."

The bath was entirely too small for his long limbs and his knees were up near his shoulders, but the water was warm and clean, and Erik found himself rather regretting that he'd not had a bath since 1843 and –

"I'm going to wash your hair – "

And a jug of warm water was poured without warning over his head.

"Oh! You could have warned me – "

And another. And another –

Erik shut his eyes and bowed his head and allowed himself to revel in the warmth of it. It was so easy. He had taken only enough morphine to feel better and very much hoped that this meant he would be able to – later -

"You really need a haircut, Erik. Your ears are sticking out of your hair." Outrageously, Nadir bent down and nibbled at one of his earlobes -

Erik giggled, "stop it – " and still with his eyes closed, he pushed Nadir's face away with the palm of his hand.

And then he heard him pick up the soap and dip it in the water and lather it up in his hands. And then Nadir's hands were all over his head, gathering up his ridiculous hair and kneading it and pulling it and gently rubbing his fingers into his scalp. He kept his head bowed, concentrating on the feeling of it all, finding himself curiously lost for words, for the feeling of being cared for like this was so entirely new.

And then he heard Nadir get to his knees beside the bath and took a sponge and wet it and moved it in circles over Erik's back, "what a marvellous back you have! So long – " he ran the sponge down his spine, and then over his shoulders, "you have such strong shoulders!", under his armpits, lifting his arms and sniffing them "so hairy!", the feeling of the sponge and the soap sensuous and soft all over his skin. He finally reached Erik's crotch where he used his bare hand to 'wash' Erik's cock, cupping his balls and he did so, he leaned forward and kissed him gently on the mouth. Erik opened his eyes and all but giggled into the kiss.

"What are you doing to me?" he said softly.

"Washing you! I think you've needed a wash for a while. Now. Shut your eyes. I'm going to rinse you."

"You seem entirely too – "

He was doused with a jug of water.

"I am wondering, Erik, if anyone has ever given you a bath? Before now?"

At this he could not reply for a great sob formed itself in his chest. No, I have never been bathed before Nadir, not that I can ever remember, she would never look at me, I was always sent to wash alone. He took hold of the sides of the bath and screwed up his face, keeping his head bowed. His tears were washed away by the second jug of water that was dumped unceremoniously on his head. He gasped.

"Are you alright under there?"

Erik looked up and pushed his stupid hair away from his face, eyes full of tears. "Kiss me. I need to be sure."

And Nadir crouched down and took Erik's face in both hands and they kissed again. And the feeling of asking and receiving, so simply, just like that, was a wonder to him -

Nadir sat back on his knees and looked at him.

"I don't know if I can bear it, Nadir – all of this – you – "

Nadir put his hand on Erik's bony knee. He smiled, "Oh, I think you are doing quite well." And then cupped Erik's face in his hand tenderly and squeezed his earlobe. "Come on. Get out. I need to get in before the water gets cold." He stood up and reached down taking hold of Erik's hands to pull him up. Nadir nodded appreciatively at Erik's body as the water ran off him, as if admiring his own work. He draped Erik in the towel and rubbed his hair. And then put the towel around his shoulders. And he pulled Erik in for another kiss. "I don't think I can resist kissing you, you strange man, you do all sorts of odd and terrible things to me."

Erik felt himself become half-hard and pushed himself eagerly against Nadir.

Nadir laughed. "Wait, wait, I know you can – I will have a bath – sit on the bed – I know you like to watch – "

Erik obediently went and sat crossed-legged on the end of the bed. The room was warm from the fire and he let the towel slip from his shoulders and pool around him.

Nadir began to undress, exposing his soft and expansive belly, his beautiful round buttocks, the dark hair on his chest, those strong arms, his skin golden in the firelight. Erik drank the sight of him, an oasis of a man. He spat into his hand, quietly so that Nadir would not see, took a hold of his cock and began to draw his hand firmly up and down the length of it, and watched Nadir get into the bath.

"I know what you're doing." Nadir smiled but he did not look at him.

Erik huffed a little laugh, keeping up his slow rhythm. "You take your time – " Indeed, time seemed slower, had taken on a softer edge.

"I'm not sure I want to, with you sitting there, watching me, doing that – I am beginning to feel quite jealous – " He poured a jug of water over his head and washed the water from his face, his hands moving down over his shoulders, his armpits.

"Ah, Nadir – I am full of morphine – we will have all the time in the world – " His eyes were becoming heavy-lidded and he tilted his head back a little watch.

Nadir laughed. "I am not sure I have all the time in the world, but for you – I will take my time."

He made a great show of sponging himself all over, caressing himself, stroking his legs, even washing his toes, and his fingers, one by one, sucking them, which made Erik giggle. And then all of a sudden he stood up, the water coursing down his body; he shone golden in the firelight, his erection huge.

Erik's eyes widened in appreciation with the wonder of the man before him, surely he was more god than man. He gave a little moan. He had become fully hard now, "Jesus Christ, Nadir, there is so much of you – to appreciate – " He held himself firmer, pulled harder. "I think you should come here, immediately."

Nadir smiled at him. He grabbed a towel. "I thought you said I had all the time in the world." He got out of the bath slowly, and rubbed himself languorously with the towel, smiling to himself all the while. And then he sauntered over to Erik, knelt before him and pushed his legs apart at the knees so that his feet fell to the floor, hips wide. "And look at you! You really are in need of my help – "

Erik felt quite weak with desire. He let go of himself and leant back a little on his elbows, expecting Nadir to take him. "Yes, Nadir, I think – really – you have taken long enough – please - "

But Nadir sat back on his haunches, pretending to consider him. He took his own length in his hands and began to pull his hand firmly up and down the quite remarkable length of it.

"Oh, Nadir – don't – " Erik felt his own cock swell and twitch at the glorious sight of him, he half-sat up and he took hold himself again, hard, "I want you – not me – to – "

"Don't what?" He smiled innocently, continuing to pull himself off. "You said you were – mmm – too full of morphine – which means to me – that you will need a - great deal of - time - "

"Maybe – Jesus, Nadir - maybe I underestimated – your – " he laughed, " – fuck! – your attractions – " He could feel the warmth coming to his hips, his buttocks, his cock in his hand was almost painful as he held it tight at the base.

Nadir knelt up, pushed himself between Erik's legs and ran his hands along the length of his lean thighs all the way to his hips, hands perilously close, and then back down again to grip them, almost too hard, in his big hands. "You poor thing – look at you! I think you really did underestimate me." He took Erik's hand delicately off his cock and put Erik's forefinger into his mouth, sucking hard, tongue wet and hot.

Erik moaned and took a hold of himself with his right hand, and Nadir removed that hand too, and took Erik himself, his palm along the entire length of his shaft, stroking him as if he were trying to mold him into something else, cupping his balls. Erik gasped and he wondered if he could last long enough for Nadir to get his mouth anywhere near him.

And then Nadir began to theatrically lick his lips and with a ridiculous grin, which made Erik laugh again, bent his head low and licked up the underside of his cock, long and slow and wet.

Erik moaned again and collapsed onto his back with the pleasure of it.

Nadir leant back. He lifted Erik's legs into the air and all but shoved him back further onto the bed. "I need to get in between your legs, if you're going to lie back like that – "

"Just please – please get on with it – I don't care – "

And then Nadir took Erik full in his mouth, his hand keeping up a beautiful rhythm, tongue everywhere, cupping and sucking and licking, in the eye of it, warm and wet and desperate.

Erik thrust his hand into Nadir's wet hair and pulled on it, pushing his head down on to him as if to keep him there, and sooner than anyone expected, he felt himself fill and fill harder than he'd ever been and then "oh my god - keep going – please – " he thrust his himself deep into Nadir's mouth, and he felt the heat build and build, and then with a great sob he climaxed, the pulsing release of it held firm by Nadir's wonderous tongue, ecstasy radiating out from his belly down to the very tips of his toes. And when it subsided, he struggled to sit up and he curled himself round to seek out Nadir's mouth with his own, tasting himself on Nadir's tongue, and pulling Nadir up his body, arms about his beautiful shoulders, hands down his back, and then they were lying face to face and he caught hold of Nadir's cock, the eye already wet, and Erik knew he was so so near, and stroked him, his tongue deep into Nadir's mouth, and Nadir came with a great groan into his hand, hot and pulsing, and he took hold of Nadir's buttocks with other hand and pulled him apart, fingers deep in his flesh.

And afterwards, they kissed long and slow, and said sweet tender words to each other, and Erik felt that maybe, maybe things were going to be alright after all, and the washing of his heart and his body was symbolic in so many ways. And they wrapped themselves in the towels, and moved the bath and sat in front of the fire and ate the food, and Erik took a little wine, which made him joyously and alarmingly drunk alarmingly quickly, which he found vaguely hilarious, fuck knows what Nadir thought, because by then he was asleep in the bed.

They chose to wait out the turning of the year in the hotel. The spent most of the following three days holed up in Nadir's room, eating and sleeping and fucking, their reputation be damned, and when they left the place on the second of January eighteen fifty-three, the concierge made a tutting noise as they walked past, and Erik, masked and his scarf tied tightly at his neck by Nadir, turned and bit his thumb at him.