Epilogue: Plastic Heart
Christmas at the Light household was always a quiet, private affair. Maybe that's why it feels strange to leave the country this year, even though they're on Dr. Light's private jet instead of public transportation. Too much attention, although over the last few months, there hadn't been much of that either. Dr. Light made good on his word after the blow-out with Deacon's resignation. No more public appearances that weren't absolutely necessary, no more dealing with politics. The threat of Wily could always overturn that, but the mad scientist had not been heard of since the fight in the park. No sightings, no thefts, none of those odd little occurrences that usually preluded another Wily plot. Nothing.
Mega wonders how things really are around Skull Fortress, but Shadow Man isn't around anymore to tell him. Probably for the better.
Russia is a big country, big enough to have to stop in Moscow to refuel. Moscow is beautiful in Christmastime, but it's still too much for them, and they have another destination in mind. Dr. Cossack's homebase, when they reach it, is bigger than he expects. A citadel, the scientist had called it once, and it was exactly that, a series of connected buildings fortified by thick walls and rounded towerheads that made parts of it resemble a cathedral rather than a modern scientist's lab. Dr. Light has money, but doesn't show it off. Dr. Cossack, it seems, does not have such qualms.
It's snowing when they arrive. It's Siberia, after all. Ivan and Bright Man—Vadim, he remembers, is what Kalinka named him—greet them at the bottom of the steps and insist on helping to carry the bags. Vadim, he's glad to see, is still cheery, but stripped of the lingering stupor Wily's programming saddled him with, his smile wide and genuine. Dr. Cossack and Alexei greet them once they're inside. Toad Man (Yuri) is around somewhere, and Dive Man (Stepan) and Drill Man (Leonid) would be on their way home for the holidays.
Pharaoh Man—Ptolemy—was still undergoing repairs. He wasn't stable enough, Dr. Cossack said, to be around others yet.
"How are things, Mikhail?" Dr. Light asks. Roll is off to the side chatting with Ivan, and Vadim and Alexei are discussing something in another corner, but Mega lingers, listening in on the scientists. He's done it before, eavesdropping on their weekly chats, desperate to hear updates.
He's quiet , Dr. Cossack said during them. And keeps to himself when he's not with Kalinka. He talks to Alexei when Kalinka makes him, but it's a struggle. Many things are for him now, I think.
Quiet is not the brother Mega knows, and he can't, as much as he tries, picture his brother struggling with anything. But things change.
His brother is supposed to be dead, for one.
"They're progressing," Dr. Cossack says dryly. His eyes meet Mega's. "They're upstairs, third door to the left. Tell Kalinka she promised to come down and make vareniki with Dimitri."
"Ooh, dumplings," Roll says, catching Mega's arm. "I'd like to try making those. Let's go!"
The two of them follow Dr. Cossack's directions. Though the outside of the citadel had a medieval feeling to it, the inside was modern and cosy, nothing betraying it was anything outside a normal home. The sound of voices speaking English drift down the hall as they approach the open door.
"You've got to be cheating."
"I'm not cheating, you are bad at video games," Kalinka responds.
Mega and Roll step inside what is clearly Kalinka's bedroom. It's far more spacious than either of theirs, but she's crammed it full of shelves heavy with books and notebooks, a large desk that could double as a workbench, and a surprising collection of princess dolls. That's not what Mega expected at all from Kalinka, but she'd been a little girl once, and little girls liked those things, he supposes. But the most surprising sight of all was Kalinka sitting on the ground in front of a TV, playing Mario Kart with Proto Man.
Not Proto Man. Proto Man is—for everyone's sakes—dead. And as deaths went, it was a decent one. The boy sitting next to Kalinka looks like he could be a stranger. His hair is black now, swept forward still, but parted on the left instead of the right. His skin is pale, much paler than it used to be. His eyes are still hidden behind a pair of aviators, but Mega's pretty sure they've been changed too. His face was the same shape, the resemblance to Mega still there, but there's no hint of his old cockiness in it. His smile is slight and cautious.
Somehow that hurts more than Mega thought it would.
Kalinka looks up and grins. "Blues is terrible at this."
"When exactly was I supposed to practice, huh?" his brother responds. His voice is the same—Mega knew that had been under heavy debate, but Dr. Light had put his foot down, declaring that his brother needed to retain some aspects of himself, however recognizable his voice may be—but it's also… different. There's something missing that Mega can't quite put his finger on.
"Your dad wants you to make dumplings with Dimitri," Roll says. She seems a little bewildered at the scene, and Mega can't blame her. "Can I help?"
"Please, I'm terrible at it," Kalinka says, jumping up. She hands her controller to Mega and hooks arms with Roll. "Don't break my winning streak, I've got him ten to one."
"By cheating," his brother mutters. Blues, Mega thinks. He's Blues now.
Roll looks at him questioningly, but Mega smiles and nods toward the door. He can handle a little R&R with his older brother.
Can't he?
"Not there," Blues says sharply, as Mega moves to sit down. He looks up as Mega freezes. "I can't see you on that side," he explains. "Sit over here instead."
Carefully, Mega steps over him. Kalinka had been sitting on his blind side. That's telling, though Mega isn't quite sure what it tells him yet.
"I thought they fixed your eye?" he asks cautiously.
Blues reaches up and tilts his shades down to the end of his nose. His eyes are blue now, the same shade as Mega's. "Cosmetic only. I don't want it fixed."
"Why?" Mega asks, taken aback.
Instead of answering, Blues gestures toward the screen. "You gonna pick a character? I keep picking the loser ones."
"Roll always beats me at this game," Mega grumbles, and a spark of hope shoots through him as Blues smiles at that.
"Maybe I have a chance then," he replies.
They play in silence. Truth be told, Mega is much better at the game than Blues is, but his brother says nothing about it. Mega loses a few times, not intentionally. He loses a few more, intentionally, until Blues puts his controller down and frowns at him.
"You might as well say what's bothering you," Blues says. It's resigned, not confrontational.
Mega pauses, eyeing him. "Are you okay?" he asks quietly.
Blues fiddles with his controller, frowning deeply. "I don't know how to answer that question."
"That's fair," Mega replies quietly.
Blues fiddles with the controller more, pressing random buttons, even though the game was long over.
"Every once and awhile," he says quietly. "Kalinka and her father spend a few days in Novosibirsk, so that she can go to the hospital. They have to make sure her artificial organs are working correctly. Sometimes they have to cut her open, and make adjustments, and she comes back sore and exhausted. She's never going to be truly healed. And that's… my fault. It's always going to be my fault."
He sets the controller down, tilting his head away from Mega. "That's why I don't want my eye fixed. I know it's not rational. I know it doesn't solve anything. It just doesn't feel right, to be fully functional, when she can't be."
"You like her a lot," Mega says, after a beat.
Blues rolls his eyes. " Don't listen to whatever Ivan says, we're not dating. She's just… she wants me to be better. A better person. But there's no pressure. She doesn't expect anything, it's—it's nice."
"Do you want that?" Mega asks. "Do you want… to be a better person?"
Blues sighs, leaning back against the bed, head tilted back and staring at the ceiling. "It's hard to just be a person," he says. "I know what I should be. I know what you all want me to be. I just don't—I don't know how to be that way. I don't feel guilty about all the bad I've done. I've tried, you know? I know I've hurt you, and I'm sorry, but I don't… I don't know how to feel how I'm supposed to. I don't even know how I'm feeling most of the time."
Mega let the silence linger for a moment. He wants to do something—touch his brother's shoulder, maybe—but Dr. Cossack had described how much Blues hated to be touched now. He doesn't dare try.
"You don't have to do everything at once," he says finally. "No one expects you to do that. You need time to heal, Blues."
"And if I don't?" Blues asks sharply. "What if I never get better? What if I'm broken for good?"
"I don't believe that, and neither does Kalinka," Mega replies firmly. "You're not broken. You never were. You just need time to figure out what you want to become next."
"Yeah?" Blues says, his smile almost like his old self, without the cruel edge to it.
"Yeah," Mega replies. He looks down at his own controller, biting his lip. "You know, when I shot you—I know it was part of the plan, but—"
Uncomfortable, he stands, hugging himself, but that doesn't make it any better. That doesn't make the memory go away. "It felt like—it felt like I killed you. I was supposed to be acting, but I was really mad, and I—I—"
"Hey, hey," Blues says, standing. He grabs Mega by the shoulders, still hesitant, but his grip is firm. "I know. It's fine."
"You don't, and it's not," Mega says, his voice shaking. "Listen, I—I can't forgive myself. For not believing in you like Kalinka does. For letting them keep you in that horrible cage for so long, for—for not preventing Wily from hurting you. You're not the only one who feels like you did everything wrong. If I'd killed you—"
Blues steps forward and wraps his arms around Mega, and for a moment, he doesn't know what to do. Slowly he wraps his own arms around his brother's waist, and tightens his grip, pressing his forehead against his Blues' shoulder and breathing in, deep and slow.
Blues adjusts his grip higher on Mega's shoulders, squeezing back just as tight. "I'm still here," he says, his voice shaky. "I'm still here, little brother."
They stay like that for a while, and it's... nice. It's not what Mega expected, but none of this is, and he can't help but be disappointed when his brother's grip eventually slackens, and he pulls free.
Blues wipes at his eyes, not hiding it, and his voice is thick when he speaks. "I've wanted to do that for—" He stops, clearing his throat, his good eye turned away from Mega. "One day I'm gonna… be able to tell you, Mega. How much I want to be the brother you need, but I—I don't know how. But I don't want you to feel guilty. I don't want that from you. I don't need it. Okay?"
"Okay," Mega says. He wants to reach out to Blues again, but he can see the ghost of a flinch when he begins to try, the tension in his brother's shoulders. He drops his hand, and eventually, Blues looks back at him again.
"I didn't get you a present," he says apologetically. "Either of you."
"That was enough of a present for me," Mega replies. "Though I wouldn't mind a few more of those hugs before we leave."
An actual grin flashes across Blues' face, still a smile when it falters. "I think if I tried that on Roll, she'd punch me."
"Probably," Mega admits. "But she might accept help with making dumplings."
"I can do that," Blues says. He follows Mega into the kitchen and they both join in the mess that is dumpling making. He helps clean the mess up, and he helps set up dinner. And—sticking close to Kalinka—he's there throughout the Christmas celebrations, though clearly new to them. Blues is there to unwrap presents, and he's there throughout the rest of the rather boisterous Cossack family traditions. He's there to give his brother more of those promised hugs, and before they leave, Mega even talks Roll into hugging their brother back.
Proto Man is dead. His brother is alive, and Mega Man is determined to make up for everything they couldn't have before.
Slowly, over time, they'll both begin to heal.
Author's Note:
AULD LANG SYNE MOTHERF-ERS.
Look, is Blues going to need a truckload of therapy? Yes. Is he going to need a lot more therapy than I anticipated when I started writing this? Maybe also yes. Are we ever going to figure out what the hell is Shadow Man's deal? I dunno, man, I don't have future sight, but like, probably.
Here's to the next year.