Bilba walked slowly down the steps into the garden. It was one of the smallest and set the farthest from the main population center of Rivendell. Large walls of stone enclosed the space in a circle, vines and ivy flowing over it and through cracks and openings in the rock. As with all the gardens in Rivendell it was filled with flowers, plants and even small trees of all kinds. There was a vague organization, enough to allow a cobblestone path and a few benches, but the elves preferred things as close to natural as possible. This meant, all things considered, there wasn't a huge difference between the garden and the valley and forest surrounding it.

Being so far from the rest of the buildings made it exceptionally quiet and that made it a simple thing to hear, and follow, the sound of her sons laughing hysterically.

Rounding a bend in the path she spotted Thorin sitting on the ground with his back to a bench. He had his legs drawn up and had Ash and Frerin perched on them. He was holding them with a hand on their chests and as she watched he jiggled his hands lightly whilst, smiling broadly at them and gasping in pretend surprise. Each time he did it the boys reacted by bursting into peals of laughter.

Dwalin stood over them, a look of long suffering on his face. Bilba still had yet to speak to him. She'd seen him watching her a few times but he hadn't tried to approach and she had returned the favor.

In many ways she was angrier at the Company than she'd ever been at Thorin. He had some excuse, he'd been influenced by his grandfather's ring. It wasn't a complete excuse but it was something.

Dwalin and the rest of them had no excuse at all. They'd known Thorin was erratic and out of control and instead of stepping into protect him, and her and the Princes, they'd done nothing.

She might be able to forgive them but earning her trust again would be a long task indeed.

Especially when it came to Nori. That one had hurt. She'd been close to the others but, outside of the Durins, she'd been the closest to Nori.

She'd thought they were friends.

In the end, however, he'd stood by and watched Thorin throw her out of Erebor along with the others.

Bilba sighed, trying to shake off the painful memories. Thorin had asked her forgiveness and she'd given it, but it didn't mean the memories or the pain just went away. She had to remind herself almost constantly that she'd forgiven him. Eventually she imagined it would get easier but, until then, she'd just keep reminding herself.

She stepped forward and Thorin looked up. A brief flash of disappointment flashed across his face but it was quickly hidden.

Bilba sat down next to him and took the baby nearest to her, Frerin she noted as she settled him in her arms.

"What's wrong?" Thorin moved Ash so he was being supported on both his legs. Ash immediately reached up and grabbed Thorin's hair in both chubby fists, looking at his father like he'd just accomplished a great feat.

"I'm supposed to summon you to a Council meeting," Bilba said. "Elrond and Legolas are representing the elves, Aragorn the humans, me, Priscilla, Adalgrim and Seth the hobbits and then you, Dwalin and the boys for the dwarves."

Thorin frowned. "And why are we having a Council meeting involving representatives of all the races of Middle Earth?"

"Well," Bilba said, her voice wavering just a bit, "probably because I managed to find the One Ring of power in a goblin tunnel and Sauron kind of wants it back."

Dwalin made a noise that might have been a curse but she didn't hear it well enough to yell at him for swearing in front of her sons.

Thorin went still. Bilba could almost literally see him transitioning from Thorin, father of Ash and Frerin, to Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain. She'd always been impressed with his ability to seamlessly switch between the different functions he held.

He got to his feet, holding Ash easily in one arm and reached back down to help her up.

"One of my friends from when I was here before, Freyla, has offered to look after the twins," Bilba said as she got to her feet.

Thorin nodded. "Alright. Let's take them back to the room and get this taken care of then, shall we?"

"You make it sound like we're going to go decide what to have for dinner."

His response was a cocky grin. "It's a ring. I'm a dwarf. We'll melt the cursed thing."

"You can't," Bilba said. "Elrond said it could only be melted in Mount Doom."

She didn't mention the dragon fire thing. Glorfindel had said it was a slim chance that a dragon could have melted the One Ring anyway and she really didn't want to bring up Smaug's name and invoke other bad memories.

"Mount Doom?" Thorin headed up the steps out of the garden. "Who names a mountain Mount Doom?"

"Apparently Sauron does," Bilba said. She sped up a little to keep pace with him only to have him immediately slow to match her speed. Behind them Dwalin followed silently though Bilba had no doubt he heard every word.

"Well there you go," Thorin said mildly. "He clearly has no imagination. Stopping him should be easy."

Bilba laughed. She didn't know what it was about the Durins but all three of them had the singular ability to raise her spirits, no matter how dire the circumstances.

They went back to Bilba's room where Freyla, a young elf maiden who'd helped her with the babies during her last stay, was waiting to look after them. Bilba got the babies settled down and then she, Thorin and Dwalin headed for the Council meeting.

As they neared Elrond's residence Bilba saw Priscilla waiting outside. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was tapping one foot, a classic sign she was angry. Adalgrim was standing next to her, looking equally annoyed but also somewhat guilty. Bilba could see his face was still red where she'd hit him and she felt a slight twinge of regret.

But only a small twinge.

Priscilla nodded at Adalgrim and he stepped forward with a frown.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said to you," he said grudgingly. "It was out of line and uncalled for."

"You were always sorry when we were kids too," Bilba said shortly, "But it never stopped you from reacting the exact same way the next time you got pissed off."

The look of guilt increased on Adalgrim's face but Bilba didn't back down.

"I forgive you, Adalgrim, but I'm not putting up with it anymore. Grow up."

She nodded at Priscilla and moved past them both to head into the building.

"So," Thorin said as they moved out of earshot. "What exactly did he say to you?"

"I'm not telling you," Bilba responded.

"Why?"

"Because you'd probably kill him and it'd make Priscilla sad."

Thorin looked over his shoulder with a frown but Bilba grabbed his sleeve and pushed him forward. "This way, Thorin. Ring of evil. Fate of the world, remember?"

His arm was a solid rock, his bicep alone large enough for her to lay her entire hand flat on and still not find the edges of his arm. Regardless, Thorin turned in the direction she was pushing him, albeit slowly. "I can multi-task."

"I'm sure you can," Bilba agreed. "But let's hold off showcasing that talent for another day, shall we?"

Thorin's only response was a non-committal grunt.

Bilba sat with Fili and Kili on one side, Dwalin and Thorin on her other side.

Priscilla, Seth and Adalgrim, in that order, were seated after Kili while Aragorn, Glorfindel, Legolas and Beorn finished rounding out the Council.

No one was speaking, probably because Elrond had just finished explaining the significance of the ring on the pedestal in the center of the space.

Considering what the cursed thing had done to her, she wasn't entirely sure putting it in the open was a good idea but telling Elrond such in his own house probably wasn't the best idea.

"We could throw it in the ocean," Kili said, finally breaking the silence.

"It was lost in water when Isildur was killed, according to legend," Aragorn said, "yet somehow managed to find its way into a cave and now here. Who's to say it couldn't find its way out of the ocean and into hands less favorable than ours?"

"Are you sure nothing else will destroy it?" Seth spoke up, "Have you tried?"

"We did," Glorfindel answered. "Fire merely causes the writing engraved on the band to appear and not even I was able to so much as scratch it with a sword or any other weapon at my disposal."

"I couldn't make it so much as bend," Beorn added, "not even in my bear form."

That they had tried at all was a surprise to Bilba. She always pictured the elves as all knowing but apparently even they liked to be sure on occasion.

"Fine," Fili said, straightening in his chair. "So send it to the White Wizard. Let him handle it."

Elrond was already shaking his head. "We will inform him, of course, but not even the power, or strength, of Saruman would be enough to hide or keep the ring from Sauron forever. We would not be solving the problem, merely moving it to a separate location."

"So why are we here then?" Fili asked, his voice sharp. "If nothing can be done why even call a Council meeting?"

He was right, Bilba realized. She had already voiced many of the possible solutions before the meeting was called and Elrond had explained why each one wouldn't work, the same explanations he was giving now. Why had he called the meeting?

Elrond opened his mouth to answer, only to shut it again as a new voice spoke up.

"We should use it. Turn the ring against its own Master."

Bilba looked at Adalgrim in horror, startled at the words. Beside her Fili made a noise and then muttered, "every time I think he's reached the pinnacle of stupidity he goes and proves me wrong by finding an entirely new level."

"Adalgrim!" Priscilla said sharply, "you saw what the ring was doing to Bilba! What do you think it would do to someone actually trying to use it?"

"You don't know it would do anything!" Adalgrim argued back. "Maybe it wouldn't be the same for someone else. Maybe Bilba was just too weak to wield it properly!"

Thorin, Fili and Kili were instantly on their feet, voices simultaneously raised as they berated Adalgrim for his words. Adalgrim got to his feet also, arguing right back. His parents rose to try and calm him while Legolas, Glorfindel, Aragorn, and Elrond stepped in to try and calm both sides.

Bilba watched from her seat, the raised voices swirling around her. Almost against her will she felt her eyes drawn to the ring sitting on the pedestal.

It was just a ring. A tiny band of gold that could change size to fit its bearer, make the wearer invisible, and corrupt the purest of souls to the darkest of evil.

For the first time she found herself thinking of the creature in the goblin tunnels where she'd found the ring. She still had no idea what he'd been. In appearance he'd looked vaguely like a goblin yet different. He'd been alone in that dark place, isolated from civilization, eating what he could find judging by the bones she'd seen.

Why had he been there?

Had the ring done that to him?

Her eyes flickered to Thorin. Somehow he'd gotten into an argument with Priscilla of all things though she appeared to be holding her own. Dwalin had gotten up as well and was in Elrond's face, probably accusing him of planning something underhanded.

Thorin was a pure soul, she thought. Oh, he was far from perfect. He was stubborn and bullheaded, reckless, and didn't always like to listen to counsel.

But, even so, he was pure. He'd wanted Erebor back for his people, not for himself. He hadn't been in it for riches or for a crown. He'd wanted to see his people fed, to give them a place to call home. He'd led them from the front, not content to sit in the back and give orders. He'd been right there in the muck and mire with them, the first to face danger and the last to find safety. He'd been irritated at her presence in the beginning but had still placed her under his protection, still watched over her and made sure she was safe.

He was pure.

And look what a ring, not even the One Ring, but a lesser ring…

Look what it had done to him.

Why even call a Council meeting?

Because the only way to get rid of the ring was in Mount Doom.

Elrond hadn't called the meeting to discuss options.

He'd called it hoping for volunteers.

Ice ran through her veins and nausea roiled inside her gut. She shut her eyes, running through the people at the meeting.

The elves couldn't take the ring. If one of them were to be corrupted by it the resulting monster would be nearly impossible to contain. Thorin couldn't take it for obvious reasons and she'd never wish such a thing on Fili or Kili.

Beorn and Aragorn would run the same risk as an elf taking it.

No, they needed someone who, if they were unable to resist the ring, would be easy to defeat. Someone they didn't need fear corruption from for, even corrupted, they would be no threat.

They needed a hobbit.

She opened her eyes. Someone was watching her and she looked to see Beorn, the only other one still sitting, studying her from a few seats away.

The look in his eyes was one of pity.

He knew.

A strange…calm almost settled over her.

In a daze, almost as if she were watching events from another room, she stood up.

Slowly, with each footstep feeling like her last, she walked to the pedestal…and picked up the ring.

It felt like ice in her hand. At once the paranoia, the mistrust and fear assailed her again but, this time, this time she was ready for it. This time she knew it wasn't coming from her but from the ring. She shoved the thing inside a pocket, relief flooding her as soon as it was, once again, no longer touching her skin.

There was silence.

Everyone was looking at her, their expressions ranging from confusion to stunned.

Bilba swallowed hard and, when she spoke, was proud to hear her voice only barely wavered.

"I'll take it."

Priscilla frowned. "What? What are you talking about?"

Elrond's look was one of sympathy. Bilba couldn't handle sympathy at the moment so, instead, she looked at Thorin.

He knew too, she realized. Not just what had to be done but the fact it was the only thing that could be done.

Setting foot into Rivendell had doomed her or, even further back as Adalgrim had claimed, she had been doomed the second Gandalf had spoken to her at her door.

The thought of the wizard brought a wave of grief and the strong desire that he would just, by some miracle, show up at that moment.

He didn't and she was left still standing where fate had placed her.

Alone.

"Intent or not, I was the one who brought the ring out of the goblin tunnels," she said. Her shock was lessening. Her emotions were starting to return and if she didn't get through this now she was going to break down in front of them all and what kind of image would that be? "I brought it out. It's my responsibility and I'll see it to the end."

She would, because Adalgrim was right in some part.

She had brought this down upon them all and Seth, Priscilla and Adalgrim shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of her choices.

Neither should her sons.

Her eyes were burning and her nose was starting to run. She managed to make eye contact with Thorin and, in a voice that cracked and wavered, whispered, "Take care of them."

Then, before any of them could say a word, she turned and ran.

Freyla stood as Bilba came back through the door, her eyes wide with alarm. "Bilba, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing," Bilba managed. She could barely see the other woman through the film of tears in her eyes. "I'm fine." She brushed past her and gathered up both her sons from their crib. "If you'll excuse me."

With that she left the room again, hurrying as far from the buildings as she could get.

In the end, she went to the garden she'd found Thorin in earlier. Finding a far corner, she sank down between several trees and behind a few bushes, held her sons close, and cried.

Ash and Frerin lay quietly in her arms and when she raised her head to look at them both were looking at her with worried eyes. They weren't old enough to understand what was happening but they knew their mother was upset and it upset them in turn.

"Sorry," Bilba whispered. "I'm sorry." She shifted Ash enough to allow her to wipe at her face, not that it did much good with tears continuing to fall. "See? Momma's okay. I'm sorry." Her voice broke again and she sucked in a sob. Ash's chin was beginning to tremble and Bilba leaned her head back to rest against the stone wall behind her. Overhead, through the branches of the trees she caught sight of the sky, a brilliant blue with thin, wispy clouds drifting by.

Like it was just another day. Like she hadn't just signed her own death warrant.

Thorin sat down beside her. He reached out for Frerin and Bilba allowed him to take the baby. He settled against the wall and sighed.

Bilba leaned over, wrapped an arm around his bicep, buried her face against his shoulder, and sobbed until the sleeve of his tunic was thoroughly drenched.

She cried until she had nothing left to give, until she'd sobbed so hard she nearly made herself sick, until her body sagged in exhaustion and she barely had the strength to hold Ashrin anymore.

Through it all Thorin stayed beside her, not bothering to give her empty platitudes like 'it'll be alright' when he knew damn good and well it wouldn't be.

Finally she found the will to pull away from him and sit upright again. Her breathing was still hitched and she was sure her face was horribly swollen and her eyes had the dry, itchy feeling that came with hard crying but, aside from that, there were no more tears to be shed.

"I'm surprised the boys let you come," she said finally, her voice hoarse.

"We started to argue about it, realized we were idiots if we did and settled it the Durin way," Thorin said.

Bilba sniffed and looked at him. "What's the Durin way?"

"Flipped a coin," Thorin said shortly. "I may have cheated. They're waiting outside the garden. I can get them if you want."

Bilba shook her head.

"It's not the end of the world, Bilba," Thorin said finally. "There's no reason to believe the journey will be fatal."

"It's Mount Doom," Bilba said, "in Mordor."

Thorin shrugged. "It was a fire breathing dragon. In Erebor."

"I think this is a little worse than that," Bilba said, her voice cracking.

"I disagree," Thorin responded. "I seem to recall you referring to it as a suicide mission given to me with the expectation that I wouldn't be insane enough to try it."

"I don't think I used those exact words," Bilba said but she nodded, conceding the point. She had expressed the sentiment a few times. "Do you know how long it takes to get to Mordor and back?" When he didn't answer she leaned against the wall again and said, "About the same amount of time it takes to get to Erebor and back. So even if everything goes flawlessly, which we both know it won't, I'll be gone ten months." She swallowed, feeling a new round of grief wash over her as she focused on Ash. "I'll miss their first birthday, their first steps, probably their first words. I'll leave them at eight months and won't see them again until they're at least eighteen months. Longer and I might not see them until they're two."

"They aren't aging as fast as hobbits," Thorin said, "you may miss less than you think. And they'll still be young, babies as far as anyone is concerned. You'll still have their childhood and all the rest of their years."

Bilba rolled her head against the stone to look at him. "Will you tell me about what I missed? If I do come back?"

Thorin's gaze was unflinching. "I won't be able to. I'm going with you."

Bilba's heart jolted in her chest. "You can't," she whispered.

"I can and will," Thorin returned. "You can't expect me to look them in the eye one day and tell them I let their mother march off to Mordor alone."

"Thorin-"

"You have no leg to stand on," Thorin said easily, cutting her off. "As I seem to recall I tried ordering you to stay behind on the trip to Erebor and you argued, quite convincingly, that you were an adult and would simply follow in our wake if we tried to leave you." He leaned forward and dropped his voice to just the barest rumble, what, for him, amounted to a whisper. "So I'll return the favor. If you leave, Bilba Baggins, I will follow and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Bilba felt her chin began to tremble. Her body somehow managed to find a few more tears that escaped and tracked down her face. "What about the boys?"

"I won't say I'm exactly thrilled at the idea of having elves looking after them," Thorin groused, "but I have no doubt they'll be well taken care of here. They'll be safe until both of us come back for them."

"You'd risk leaving them orphans?"

"In order to ensure them a world where they don't have to fear the threat of Sauron? Yes."

Bilba sagged. She settled Ash on her raised legs as Thorin had done earlier and held his hands to keep him in place. "If I were stronger I'd argue with you," she said, her voice barely audible. "I'd order you to stay behind where it's safe."

"But-"

"But I'm not that strong." A waver returned to her voice and she took a deep breath, steadying herself. "And the only thing more terrifying to me right now than having to go to Mordor is the thought of having to do it alone."

"Well, it's a good thing you won't be going alone then, isn't it?"

Bilba looked up sharply to see Fili and Kili standing just on the other side of the bush she and Thorin were seated behind.

"We got tired of waiting," Fili said shortly.

"Particularly since Thorin cheated at the coin toss," Kili added.

"Boys-" Bilba started but Fili was already cutting her off.

"We already told you back in the room, it didn't matter if you asked or not. We'd do it anyway, remember?"

"And I swore all the way back in Erebor I would stay with you," Kili added. "So you're stuck with us."

"And not just them." More footsteps sounded and then Glorfindel, Aragorn, Beorn, Dwalin and Legolas were all standing there.

"The fate of the ring," Legolas said shortly, "affects us all and though we may not be able to carry it for you, well see to it that your journey succeeds."

"I can't ask any of you to do this," Bilba said. "You all have responsibilities, duties. You-" she said, addressing Thorin, "have a kingdom to run for Yavanna's sake."

"As I already said," Thorin said with a shrug, "my sister is more than capable. Not to mention returning without her sons to inform her they were headed to Mordor would probably result in my immediate death, King or no king."

Bilba studied him, and the rest of the group ringed in a half circle before her. Slowly her shaking began to ease and the barest thread of hope started to rise within her.

Of all the people in Middle Earth she could not have asked for a better group. With them it was just possible that going to Mordor wouldn't be a suicide trip after all.

It was possible, just possible, they might actually make it there, and back again.

Maybe.

"Okay," she said. "Okay."

She struggled to her feet. Fili and Kili both stepped forward to help her up. Thorin got up behind her and she moved forward until she was surrounded by everyone.

"I don't even know where to start," she said honestly. "It's one thing to make the decision but quite another to carry it out."

"We'll get things ready," Aragorn said. "You rest and spend time with your children. We'll let you know when it's time to go."

Bilba nodded her thanks and they dispersed, until only she, Thorin, Fili and Kili were left.

"You should retire," Thorin said. "You're exhausted."

Bilba nodded and began to head back to her room. Her entire body felt like it had doubled in weight, gravity dragging her toward the ground. She was also still more than a little bit in shock, the true impact of what was going on sinking in bit by bit. Once the full reality hit her she imagined she'd probably be in for another few fits of crying, at least. Fili and Kili started to turn away but Bilba stopped them. "You two need to come too." Thorin could be as optimistic as he wanted but there was no guarantee any of them would be coming back. Not to mention Ash and Frerin were far to young to understand. They would have no idea why their mother, newly met father, and Fili and Kili had suddenly up and left them. No idea at all. "You have to say good-bye to Ash and Frerin."

Then, before the looks on their faces could bring about a fresh round of crying, she spun and started walking. Thorin stayed beside her while Fili and Kili came along quite a distance behind, discussing something in low voices.

"So much for a year of getting to live in peace while you tried your best to be charming," Bilba said tiredly.

Thorin, to her surprise, gave her the smile that she'd always referred to as his half knowing, half smug look. "I have no intention of allowing a little thing like the possible end of the world get in the way of my winning you back."

Bilba raised an eyebrow at him, convinced a combination of fatigue and shock was making her delusional. "You're not serious."

"I assure you I very much am," Thorin retorted. "As I already said, I can multi-task."

Bilba shook her head. "You're insane."

"Not insane, just dedicated."

"We'll see."

"Just think, at least this journey we won't have to worry about anything trying to eat us."

"I'm beginning to think the things that don't want to eat us may be worse than the things that do."

"…you may have a point on that."