"Nikki…" Dean's voice was barely above a whisper. He swallowed hard and forced his eyes away from her; he had to keep it together. Cas and Sam were both on the balls of their feet- ready for combat in an instant. However, Zadkiel's calm and reserved demeanor suggested that truthfully, they were only going to speak. That being said, Team Free Will would have been fools to believe that; fools they were not.
"Castiel. What a pleasant surprise. I admit a part of me considered you'd weasel your way into this. Though admittedly I thought my ruse would have been a bit more convincing than I suppose it was. Tell me- what gave me away?"
"It's a long list, pal. Where should we start?" Dean attempted to keep up his bitchy small-talk but his jaw was still clenched in trepidation.
Zadkiel smiled a toothless, shallow grin and Cas took a step closer towards the brothers.
"I confess, the details got the better of me. My hostage here was a bit more uncooperative than I'd counted on. And of course you were a bit more sensitive to our communications then I'd intended. I hoped using Heaven's wavelengths would be more of a homing signal on you than a broadcast. But nevertheless you're here, so I can't complain in good faith."
Castiel rolled his eyes slightly before adding his own commentary.
"Good faith isn't a concept you fully comprehend."
"Bold claim from a fallen angel. Brother, tell me: how do you stand to watch an archangel's grace be so defiled by the primitive, ill-bred, boorishness of the human?"
"It seems you still have yet to learn your place, Zadkiel. As his Sword, Dean's meant more to Michael than you ever have."
"Ahh yes. Dean Winchester. In the flesh. And of course, Sam. It would have been more efficient for God to have made you conjoined twins seeing as you're already attached at the hip. Though I do suppose that would have made hedonism a bit awkward. Isn't that right, dear?"
Zadkiel ever so gently rubbed the back of his index finger over Nikki's tear-stained cheek and Sam had to hold back his brother's violent move towards the evil angel.
"YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING HER AGAIN, I'LL STAB A BLADE THROUGH YOUR THROAT."
Nikki whimpered from her confinement and Zadkiel's small band of rogue angels emerged from their hiding places throughout the building.
"Quit stalling. What do you want?" Sam's tone was flat, even, and dark.
"I want to make a deal so simple in its parameters that even the likes of you can understand. Dean allows me to extract the remaining archangel grace, and I give you back the girl."
"No, see that's still a little confusing for me; I'm having trouble understanding at what point I get to kill you." Dean spat out the threat and felt his arm cramp painfully in response to the stress.
"No killing. I'm not a barbarian, just a businessman," he calmly defended.
"Could've fooled me." Sam's words were full of venom.
"Listen. You're going to let her go and we're gonna leave. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. That's it. You lose, you get nothing."
Dean's proposal didn't go over as planned.
Zadkiel, in one swift motion, slapped Nikki across the face. Springing into attack, Sam, Dean, and Cas each drew their angel blade and commenced hand-to-hand combat with the various angel henchmen in the room. Sam easily landed a fatal blow to the angel who they'd spoken to outside and Cas managed to overpower the women who'd greeted them at the door. Meanwhile, two angels were working in a tag-team against Dean; with only one arm, he was severely disadvantaged. He managed to land a solid blow to one of them, and to unarm the other, but before Sam or Cas could make it to him in time, his combatants had gotten the better of him. Dragging him over to Zadkiel, Dean was now captive next to Nikki.
Zadkiel was flustered, his features tightening with anger.
"You force my hand, I force yours. Care to reconsider?"
"Okay. Fine." Dean surrendered begrudgingly.
"Seeing reason, finally."
Sam rocked onto the balls of his feet and Cas took a beat to survey the number of enemies left. Similarly, Dean seemed to be processing his surroundings. Eyes wandering, Dean was envisioning actions of a battle plan; silently agreeing, Sam and Cas awaited the instigating moment.
"Take it," Dean taunted him. "Hand the girl over to my brother and you can have the grace."
Sam's eyes went wide but he remained planted; Dean was calling the shots and Sam knew it would be clear when it was time for him to act.
"Unless of course…" Dean's tone turned playful, "you still need me in the picture. See the way I figure it, as soon as you got your hands on me you'd just take the mojo. But here I am, still in one piece. Seems like that can only mean one thing."
Sam put it together before Dean spoke it aloud.
"You need my permission. I'm still Michael's vessel, aren't I... Needed my permission to get in- still need it to get out." Dean spoke calmly, now understanding that he was the one with more leverage.
"He has to say yes…" Cas muttered his own conclusion and began putting it together for himself. While it was true that Michael was dead, the power of his grace was far beyond that of normal angels. It was a fair theory that it couldn't simply be created or destroyed- that power like that did not change hands without conditions.
If Zadkiel couldn't force the grace out of Dean, then all they had to do was get out of there. And that was a much more reasonable plan.
With his bluff having been called, Zadkiel grew incensed. Stepping away from Dean's side, Zadkiel kicked over Nikki's chair and she fell to the ground with a painful yelp.
"Soon enough I'll have you begging me to take it."
Zadkiel made a quick move towards Dean's captive body and placed his hand on Dean's forehead; the seasoned hunter threw back his neck with a dark, guttural scream. Sam ran full speed at the body causing his brother so much pain and Cas, too, became militant in his attack against his brethren. Even Nikki, from her prone form on the ground, managed to stretch her leg out far enough, and with enough force, that she was able to unbalance one of the angels holding onto Dean. Just as Sam and Cas reached hitting-distance of their enemies, Dean's head suddenly snapped forward, headbutting Zadkiel.
Then, before there was time to react, his green eyes were washed a paler shade and the faint glow of divine blue paused everyone's actions.
In this moment of hesitation, Zadkiel and his sympathizers vanished. The echo of unfolding wings was audible in the cavernous acoustics of the warehouse, but it took a moment to process that the danger had departed.
Dean's eyes returned to their green hue as the weak pale blue fizzled away. More than unsteady, Dean was listing badly. Sam hunched over to allow Dean's weight to be taken onto his shoulder; immediately collapsing, Dean went slack in Sam's embrace.
"Cas-"
Sam didn't have to finish his plea before Castiel had his healing hands on Dean's head. At contact, Cas went jolting back- scared by the small mental shock he'd received from the hunter's mind.
"I can't see," he explained.
Sam's stomach turned over with intense nausea but he maintained tunnel vision.
"Get Nikki. We have to get out of here."
Moving swiftly to the prone woman, Cas first unbound her hands. Then un-gagging herself, she coughed violently for a short spell. Offering a hand to help her stand, Cas hurriedly explained that he was a friend; an angel, yes, but a friend. Placing two fingers on her hairline, her bruises faded and she returned to full health. Seemingly un-traumatized, she raced to Sam's side.
"Keys?" She asked hurriedly, instantly ready to help.
"Left jacket pocket. Same car you know. It's outside, across the street." Sam gave short instructions as Cas wedged himself underneath Dean's other shoulder. Completely out of it, Dean had to be half-carried, half-dragged by the two men.
"What happened?"
"I don't know."
"GUESS, Cas! What's your best guess?"
They continued hauling Dean closer to the exit.
"The grace. Michael's grace. It pushed me away just now when I went to look in his head. I think the grace protected itself."
"He's not…" Sam couldn't bear to finish the thought.
"I don't think so. I think he's in shock."
Reaching the door, Nikki was already there with the car, leaping from the front and ripping the back seat door open. Maneuvering the unconscious man as gingerly as they could, Sam and Cas deposited Dean onto the comforting leather of Baby. Joining his brother in the backseat, Sam told Nikki to drive.
"Hospital?"
"No, no...uhhhh…." Sam began to fumble.
"Start driving. I'll give you directions." Cas spoke on Sam's behalf as the younger man cradled his brother in the back seat. Attempting to distract himself, Sam extended questions to Nikki.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I mean...relative to everything...I'm fine." Her voice was thin. "Is he…" While she'd intended to finish the sentence, the words fell away.
"He has to be."
( ) ( ) ( )
Dean didn't wake up for two hours. All things considered, it was a more than reasonable time frame. Still, two hours without answers might as well have been two decades. Taking the brunt of the necessary mental energy, Cas directed Nikki towards a location he deemed safe. It was a crowded, more populous hotel; he assured Sam that it would be safe from the angels as they wouldn't make a move in an area so easily accessible on other celestial beings' radar. That, and he assured Sam he was able to angel-proof it with the appropriate sigils and warding. So Sam stayed by Dean's side while Cas watched over Nikki. He got her up to speed (as much as possible, at least) and settled her in an adjoining room. She'd managed to keep it together the entire car ride but she finally succumbed to fragility after settling in her room. After a brief crying spell, Cas offered to use his power to put her to sleep and she was more than grateful for the offer. As Nikki slept, Sam held vigil over Dean. There was painful uncertainty for two hours until finally, in the middle of the night, Dean began to stir. Even before his eyes were open, his lips were moving- repeatedly mouthing the same thing over and over, trying to generate the proper sound and volume.
"N-ikki…"
Releasing hours' worth of held breaths, Sam practically cried at the relief that flooded him. Adding to his comfort was the opening of Dean's eyes and the return of their familiar green shade.
"She's safe. She's here. We're in a room still in Colorado but Cas...Cas put up warding." Sam didn't have to put on a show of reassurance-it was more than genuine.
"Z'zzadkiel…" Dean's face twisted into more concern.
"He left." At Sam's words, Dean seemed to relax though he began fidgeting. In response, Sam proposed the question he'd been waiting hours to ask. "How are you feeling?"
Dean thought for a moment-taking stock of his body and mind.
"H-how should I feel?"
"I don't know…Cas is next door. He can look at you if you want."
"I f'eel…" Dean hesitated, swallowing. "Diff'ffer'ent."
"Different how?" Sam leaned in a little closer.
"Not s-sure." He paused. "Did…? I d-on't 'emember much."
"Zadkiel got to you...I think he- he tried to…" Sam struggled. "But he didn't. You-you didn't let him hurt you."
A contemplative look washed over Dean's face.
"I didn't let him h-hurt me…? Or it...d-didn't?"
Sam's frown answered Dean's question.
"Cas thinks it was the grace. Like it was shielding you."
"Shielding m-me…" Dean swallowed hard, forcing his hiccuping voice to remain steady. "Because I n-need it."
"We don't know that." Sam's voice was corrective and adamant.
"'ss Nikki o'kay?" Dean took a hard turn to redirect the conversation.
"She's holding up pretty well all things considered. We should talk to her at some point, though. See if she might have heard anything."
"L-leave her be f'or a'w-while, would'ya? I wanna uhh… I w'nna t-talk to her f'rst."
"Yeah, of course." Sam nodded adamantly.
Adjusting to a more upright position, Dean let out a disgruntled sigh.
"Your arm?" Sam guessed.
"Head. It's p-pounding pr'etty g'ood."
"Sorry."
"S-sst'mbling thr'ough m' w'rds." Stumbling through my words
Dean sat up further and tried to shrug it off.
"W't ab't you-y-ou d'in 'kay? What about you- you doing okay?
"I'm holding my own."
"W-what t'me 'st?" What time is it?
"A little past two in the morning."
"N'kk 'seepin?" Nikki sleeping?
"Yeah. Cas hasn't let her out of his sight."
Dean took a look around the room as if he was scanning for intruders; Sam knew it was a reflex but it still reminded him how unsafe and unsure a position they were in.
"H'ss g'nn be b'ck. W'nt g've up t-hat eas'ly." He's gonna be back. Won't give up that easily.
Sam didn't know how to respond.
Dean was right- Zadkeil would be back. And truth be told neither of them knew what that really meant. Whatever he was planning on using the grace for was obviously bad news, but that wasn't their main concern. The real question was what would happen to Dean if Michael's grace was ripped from him.
Pathetically, it was the very same question they'd been asking for months. Only now it was a question that a heavenly insurgent was asking; a much more terrifying, and much more deadly version of the exact same predicament they'd already been facing.
"He w'rnd 'ss 'bout t'is." He warned us about this
"What?"
Dean closed his eyes.
"M'ch'l." Michael
Sam's face contorted.
"What do you mean?"
"W'n h' l'ckd m' 'way… H' w'rned 'ss what w'ld h'ppen 'f I f'rced h-him o-out. H' n'ver l'ied. B'out'any 'ff 't." When he locked me away… He warned us what would happen if I forced him out. He never lied. About any of it.
Dean didn't sound sad. Rather, his tone was almost reverent- as if suddenly, Michael was worthy of respect.
Sam felt his chest tightening.
He'd heard Dean speak like this before.
On so very many occasions.
Usually, it went a little more like this…
He told us what we needed to hear, Sam. Nothing more and nothing less. Everything he's always done has been for the bigger picture. If you can't see that, it's your problem, not his. He's never once pretended that anything was gonna be normal for us- at least he was always honest.
Sam heard Dean's voice echo in his head; all the instances when Sam heard the same attitude, the same tone, the same cadence, come out of his brother's mouth.
It was like he was talking about Dad.
Horror crossed Sam's face.
Dean was talking about Michael the same way he talked about Dad.
"What are you saying, Dean?" Sam spoke very clearly- trying desperately to understand where this might have been coming from.
"Mm s'yin I b'r'ght 'hiss 'n m'self. On y'ou. I'mm s'yin m'aybe I n'eed t' o'wn 'p to t'hat." I'm saying I brought this on myself. On you. I'm saying maybe I need to own up to that.
Sam wanted to punch him in the face.
He wanted to clench his fist, pull back his arm, and clock Dean straight in the nose. Here Dean was, after everything, still living in their old man's shadow. Honestly believing that somehow he actually deserved this.
"You're a selfish bastard."
"W'at?" What?
"It's the same routine, Dean. The same dance over and over and over again. I sit here, hour by hour, and watch my brother suffer through hell. And it destroys me, Dean! Because you spent your entire life making sure I was safe and happy and I can't-" Sam's voice broke. "And it's like I can't do the same. Do you know what that feels like? To listen to you sit there and talk about Michael like… like you deserve it? Like I couldn't-I couldn't stop it? The same way I couldn't save you from Hell? From the Mark? From Dad-" Sam's eyes filled with tears and he didn't have the energy to wipe the liquid away.
Dean's face was washed with realization and guilt; it was never what he meant, but he wanted to take back his words all the same. Reaching his arm out to Sam, he brought his open palm down on Sam's shoulder.
"H'y. H'EY" Dean shook Sam's shoulder, forcing him to look Dean in the eye. "S'mmy. Y-you've always b'een en'ough."
( ) ( ) ( )
The night went on without activity and come morning, all of them had returned to some degree of patience and level headedness. Dean had yet to see Nikki since her rescue and while he'd been anxious to check-in with her, he couldn't bring himself to wait any longer. His speech was still a little rough but it had returned decently enough that he was confident she could understand him. If they were under any other circumstances his embarrassment would have barred him from seeing her. But at present he couldn't afford to let selfish insecurities rule his decision making.
Standing outside her door, he brought his knuckles up to knock. It was a little past eight in the morning and he was hopeful that he wasn't waking her.
From behind the door he heard a bump and a very quiet string of curses.
"S'rry. I c'an c-come ba'ck."
"Dean?" Nikki's voice seemed to indicate that she was genuinely caught off guard, though definitely not displeased.
The door opened quickly and Dean was taken aback by how easily old memories resurfaced. While she was clearly older, everything about her spirit was unchanged. Her amber eyes were bright and busy, her short stature still easily misjudged for something taller because of her captivating presence, and her smile, as always, impossibly comforting; one look at her upturned lips and Dean's hesitation abated.
"You're okay…" Her statement was almost a question, though certainly a rhetorical one.
"G-glad I c'n say the s-sme ab'out you." Dean turned his lips into a half-grin and relaxed some of the tension in his expression.
Nikki waved him inside and it was only after settling in a chair that he realized she was wearing an oversized flannel. Only a moment later he noticed the crumpled pile of dirtied, bloodied clothes piled discreetly by the bathroom door. Uncontrollably, flashes of her abused, confined form came back to him. He still heard Zadkiel's slap against her face ringing in his ears. He'd seen so much destruction and violence- so much pain and degradation- but it never got any easier to look at. At least not when it adorned people he loved.
"Nikki...I'm-m so s'rry."
She sat across from him at the table, putting her hands out to wrap around his loose fist.
"Comes with the territory. It's okay. Besides, your friend fixed me up. I was very happy to be touched by an angel." Nikki raised her eyebrows at the dirty undertones of her joke and successfully distracted Dean.
"Oh p'lease d'nt g-give me t'hat v-isual."
"Just wanted to see that million dollar smile." Nikki's face fell a bit- she was clearly noticing how very much had changed in him. "You gonna be okay?"
"P-retty sure I'm s'pposed t' be a'sking you t'hat."
She leaned back in her chair and tilted her head to one side; he mirrored her movements subconsciously.
"C'mon, Dean. We've always been good at making sure we're on the same page."
"L-lots ch'anged."
"Has it?" Her voice lifted and became sweeter. "I know I haven't been around, that I haven't been in your life for a very long time. But maybe that means I see things a little differently? A little clearer? You're the same man I knew, Dean. And I won't get on my Dean Winchester soap box cause god knows you don't need some old girlfriend explaining why she fell for you. But I will tell you that being in that warehouse-getting kidnapped by those things…? I've never been so terrified in my life. But when you and Sam showed up, all that fear washed away. I felt safe, Dean. I've always felt safe with 's why we lasted as long as we did- that's why we had fun. We worked at it. We never took anything for granted. You're still one of a kind, Mister. And you're still one hell of a hunter."
Dean took a moment to process, to simply stare at the women who'd been one of the few people in his life to change the way he thought about things; one of the few people to drag him away from stubbornness.
"A-nd you're s'till p'ersu'asive as e'ver."
"As if you ever needed to be persuaded." Nikki raised her eyebrows and let out a breathy chuckle.
"W'eeken-nd in P'oint P'leasant?" Dean offered up the memory of one of the few times he'd been reluctant to agree with her.
"I told you it was gonna end badly," she started laughing, "it might be a great cocktail but sex on the beach is never a good idea."
Dean's wide, genuine smile warmed the room but all too soon he was pulled back into their present reality; Nikki was wearing Sam's shirt because hers was covered in blood, and the only reason they'd reunited was because they'd both found themselves so depressed. In the moment of silence, Dean's eyes hardened- resolving himself to revenge for what had happened to her.
"I pr'omise you I'm g'nna k'ill h'im. I'm g'nna k'ill him f'or what he d'id."
"Dean-"
"L-let me h'ave this," he pleaded.
"Okay."
"Ni'kki? C'n I a'sk y'ou s'omethin?"
"Always."
"Why'd y-you d'is-sappear?"
A vacant look clouded her eyes but she wasn't clearly distraught. She was tempted to make a joke about how kidnapping was a pretty good excuse for disappearance but she knew that wasn't at all what he'd meant.
"I got to a point when life didn't seem worth living. So…" her pitch rose, "I switched lives." She continued. "And it was the hardest thing I'd done in a very long time, but it worked. I made a new beginning. And when I started missing that other life— life with hunting, life with long weekends spent with Dean, life with decent power lines and takeout food….when that became the life I wanted again, I came back to it. That's why I hadn't heard about you."
"N-not l'ike you were m-missi'ng much."
"Missed enough that I couldn't help."
Dean leaned into the table and locked on her eyes.
"You r'emember wh'en y-you t'old me t-that e'very h-hunter h'aas a d-death wish?"
She looked at him in horror.
"Dean, I never meant-"
"N-noo, no...t-that's n-not w'hat I m-mean. Y-ou t-s-said on'ce that y-you al'ways n-needed to ma'ke sure that y'ou were r'eally l'iving. A'fter e'verything t-thaat ha-ppened to me I th'ought 'bout that a l-lot. So you d-did he'lp me, Ni-kki. You re'ally did."
A blush crept up her cheeks but she didn't lean into the vulnerability of the moment; she knew that it wasn't really his style- that it would probably make him uncomfortable. Besides which, she was saved from having to formulate a response because a knock at the door interrupted.
"Nikki?" Castiel's familiar awkward stance could practically be felt through the door.
Standing, she opened the door and rubbed the back of her neck just for the sake of having something to do with her hands. Cas noticed Dean's presence in the room before he acknowledged Nikki in any way. Despite the fact that Cas' expression didn't tend to be very emotive, it was clear that seeing Dean up and around alleviated his worries. Becoming aware of Nikki, Cas looked to her with appreciative eyes- as if he was thankful that she was with Dean at the present moment. While Nikki hadn't been remotely aware of the scope of what Dean had been through in the last year, she knew that he must have isolated himself. So when Cas looked at her with appreciation, she knew that what Cas was really saying was that he was thankful Dean wasn't so alone.
"Hello." Cas' voice was unsure that this was the appropriate greeting given the circumstances. Addressing Nikki before Dean he asked, "did you sleep well?"
"Out like a light. Nice trick you got there."
"Dean doesn't like it," Cas added.
"I'll bet he doesn't." She smiled.
"I'mm r'ght h'ere," Dean chimed in.
"Glad you're up…" Cas clearly wanted to know more but he wasn't pushing.
"U'p an' at 'em."
There was a beat. No one knowing what to say.
"I can leave if you two need to talk or-" Nikki began feeling like she was the cause of the awkward, hilted conversation. Proving her wrong was Cas' response.
"No, actually I came to speak with you, if that's alright."
"Cas d'nt int'errogate h-her. I t'ld Sam-"
"I know what you told Sam but we can't wait."
"Woah, woah what's going on?" Nikki's eyes darted between the two of them, suddenly fearful.
"The angels who took you? They'll be back. We need to know if you heard anything they may have said about Dean or how they plan to extract-"
"CAS!" Dean's yell filled the room entirely and now standing, it was hard not to be intimidated by the hunter's sheer size. "I s'aid we're n-not talking a'bout that r'ight now."
Cas stared at Dean for a moment- disappointment on his face. Then, without a defense or an explanation, he left the room. Not knowing what to say, Nikki opted for remaining silent. In the space her silence created, Dean spoke.
"I g'tta g'o. S'am w-will check in, g-get you s'ome f-food."
He moved to the door and Nikki tried to slow him.
"Dean-"
He held up his hand to stop her approach and spoke one last thing before leaving the room.
"I'm re'ally glad you're s'afe."
And with that, Nikki was left alone in the hotel room, still in Sam's flannel, and wondering how on Earth an angel in a trenchcoat and two wayward brothers would make it through.