A/N: Someone asked me if I'm going to be changing Beau and Julie's relationship at all, and the answer to that is no. In this story, I'm just exploring what's going on in Julie's head as the plot unfolds and to get more of a sense of what she thinks of Edythe, her pack sisters, the situation with Victor, things like that. If I do end up continuing on into Eclipse (which I'm honestly contemplating), then it won't necessarily be very relationship based and more with sisterhood and the pack.

Chapter Twelve
So I Might Have Misunderstood…

When I woke up the next morning, I knew something had happened. I knew that there was something that had changed.

I changed my clothes quickly—a grey t-shirt and black jeans—and ran into my mom as I tried to leave.

"Beau came by about half an hour ago," she told me.

I froze in my tracks, turning to face her. "He did?"

"He's at the beach, waiting for you. He thought you could use some sleep."

I ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

Even without phasing, I could still run faster than any human, so it only took me roughly three minutes to reach First Beach.

Beau sat on a piece of driftwood—the trunk of a small tree that had washed up years ago. It was the same place where I told him the stories.

"Hi, Beau," I whispered.

He looked up, jumping. "Jules?"

"Bonnie told me you came by—didn't take you very long, did it? I knew you could figure it out."

"Yeah, I remember the right story now," he whispered.

There was a silence, and in the midst of it, I could tell that he was afraid of me. The boy who willingly kissed and held an actual vampire in his arms was afraid of a wolf-girl.

"You could have just called," I snapped.

"I know." He nodded.

I fidgeted silently on the rocks under my feet. "Why did you come?" I demanded.

"I thought it would be better face-to-face." Beau played with the shoelace on his Converse, tightening the knots in them.

I snorted. "Oh, much better."

Beau stood up, shoving his hands in the pockets of his black rain jacket. "Julie, I have to warn you—"

"About the rangers and the hunters?" The ones that were patrolling the forest, trying to protect people from us. The ones that were disappearing because of the leeches. "Don't worry about it. We already know."

"Don't worry about it? Jules, they've got guns! They're setting traps and offering rewards and—"

"We can take care of ourselves," I interrupted. "They're not going to catch anything. They're only making it more difficult—they'll start disappearing soon enough, too."

"Jules!"

"What? It's just a fact." Vampires were brutal, merciless killers, and they were going to destroy those hikers. We were trying to protect them, but the bloodsuckers were faster.

"How can you…feel that way? You know these people. Charlie's out there!"

He was? Charlie was one of the hikers? Of course he was; he was the police chief, it was his job to protect the people of Forks.

"What more can we do?" I slammed.

"Could you…well, try not to be a…werewolf?" he whispered.

I knew it. He hated me. He hated everything I had become. Who could have guessed.

"Like I have a choice about it!" I shouted. "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about people disappearing?" It was the leeches that were killing them, not us.

"I don't understand you."

I snarled at him, feeling the heat in my spine radiate out. "You know what makes me so mad I could just spit?"

He flinched and shook his head.

"You're such a hypocrite, Beau—there you sit, terrified of me! How is that fair?" He loved her; he loved a monster. But he couldn't love me. How was that fair? What kind of excuse has he made up for it?

"Hypocrite?" he shouted. "How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?"

"Ugh!" I groaned. "Would you listen to yourself?" I pressed my shaking hands to my temples and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't hurt him. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't phase right now.

"What?"

I took a couple steps toward him, glaring with fire. "Well, I'm so sorry that I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Beau. I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?" I guess I'm not as fantastic as your vampire slut. I guess I was never good enough for you.

"No, you're not!" he shouted. "It's not what you are, idiot, it's what you do!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I roared at him, my entire body quivering with rage.

"Julie," he said, clearly trying to calm me. "Is it really necessary to kill people, Jules? Isn't there some other way? I mean, if vampires can find a way to survive without murdering people, couldn't you give it a try, too?"

Kill people? We weren't killing people. It was them! The leeches!

"Killing people?" I asked him.

"What did you think we were talking about?"

I stopped quivering; the heat started to disappear back into my neck. "I thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves.

"No, Jules, no. It's not that you're a…wolf. That's fine. If you could just find a way not to hurt people…that's all that upsets me. These are innocent people, Jules, people like Charlie, and I can't just look the other way while you—"

"Is that all? Really?" I interrupted.

He didn't hate me. He just hated murderers. He hated leeches. Well, the bad ones at least. He still loved her.

"You're just scared because I'm a murderer? That's the only reason?"

"Isn't that reason enough?"

I snorted, then morphed into a full on laugh.

"Julie Elaine Black, this is so not funny!"

"Sure, sure," I laughed.

I hugged him as tight as I could—without crushing his ribs, at least.

"You really, honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?" I asked.

"No," he gasped. "Can't—breathe—Jules!"

I let him go, still holding his hands. "I'm not a killer, Beau," I promised.

He studied my face for a second, then said, "Really?"

"Really."

Beau threw his arms around me, pushing my head into his shoulder with one hand.

"I'm sorry I called you a hypocrite," I murmured.

"Sorry I called you a murderer."

I laughed.

"What about Samantha? And the others?" he asked, letting go of me.

I shook my head and smiled, feeling the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. "Of course not. Don't you remember what we call ourselves?"

"Protectors, right?"

"Exactly."

"But I don't understand. What's happening in the woods? The missing hikers, the blood?"

"We're trying to do our job, Beau. We're trying to protect them, but we're always just a little too late." I didn't even want to think about how many dead bodies we had seen as a whole. Eight? Thirteen? Fifty-four? I didn't know.

"Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there, too?"

An actual mutant bear, we could deal with. But a psychotic redheaded vampire with a gift for escaping at the exact right moment? Iffy.

"Beau, we only protect people from one thing—our one enemy. It's the reason we exist—because they do. I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on."

He gasped softly, knowing exactly what I was talking about. "Lauren. She's still here."

I blinked. Lauren? Was that what one of the Cullens names were?

I cocked my head to the side and asked, "Who's Lauren?"

"You know—you saw her in the meadow. You were there…" he whispered. "You were there, and you kept her from killing me…"

"Oh, the leech with the dreadlocks?" I grinned tightly. "Was that her name?" That'd be fun to tell the pack.

Beau shuddered. "What were you thinking? She could have killed you! Jules, you don't realize you dangerous—"

I laughed, interrupting him. "Beau, one lone vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!"

"What was so easy?"

"Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you. Now, I don't count that towards the whole murder thing. Vampires don't count as people."

"You…killed…Lauren," he mouthed silently.

I nodded. "Well, it was a group effort." Yeah, a group effort for Ember, Samantha and I. Janie and Paula barely did anything but have petty arguments. Like usual.

"Lauren is dead?" he whispered.

"You're not upset about that, are you?" What if she was his friend? What if that was why they knew each other's names? "She was going to kill you—she was going for the kill, Beau, we were sure of that before we attacked. You know that, right?"

"I know that. No, I'm not upset—I'm…" Beau stumbled back, then sank down onto the driftwood. "Lauren is dead. She's not coming back for me."

"You're not mad? She wasn't one of your friends or anything, was she?"

"My friend?" He stared up at me. "No, Jules. I'm so…so relieved. I thought she was going to find me—I've been waiting for her every night, just hoping that she'd stop with me and leave Charlie alone. I've been so frightened, Julie… But how? She was a vampire! How did you kill her? She was so strong, hard like marble…"

I sat down next to him and leaned into his side. "It's what we're made for, Beau. We're strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be."

"You weren't around," he mumbled.

"Oh, right." I sighed. If I had been around…he could have been a lot happier. Safer, maybe.

"Wait, Jules—I thought you knew, though. Last night, you said it wasn't safe for you to be in my room. I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then why didn't you think it was safe for you there?"

"I didn't say it wasn't safe for me. I was thinking of you."

"What do you mean?"

I looked down at my black tennis shoes and kicked a rock. "There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you, Beau. I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it's not safe for you. If I get too mad…too upset…you might get hurt."

"When you were mad before…when I was yelling at you…and you were shaking…?"

Observant. Like always. "Yeah. That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But…I just got so upset…that you couldn't deal with what I am…"

"What would happen…if you got too mad?" he whispers.

"I'd turn into a wolf."

"You don't need a full moon?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hollywood's version doesn't get much right." I sighed. "You don't need to be so stressed out, Beau. We're going to take care of this. And we're keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others—we won't let anything happen to him. Trust me on that." We were going to catch the redhead and make him pay. It's what we were born for.

"Lauren is dead," Beau gasped.

I touched Beau's cheek lightly. "Beau?" I asked, anxiously.

"If Lauren died…a week ago…then someone else is killing people now."

I nodded. The redhead. 'The bane of our existences' as Samantha would say. "There were two of them. We thought her mate would want to fight us—in our stories, they usually get pretty pissed off if you kill their mate—but he just keeps running away, and then coming back again. If we could figure out what he was after, it would be easier to take him down. But he makes no sense. He keeps dancing around the edges, like he's testing our defenses, looking for a better way in—but in where? Where does he want to go? Samantha thinks he's trying to separate us, so he'll have a better chance…"

"Victor," Beau gasped.

"Who?"

"He wasn't Lauren's mate," he moaned. "They were just old friends…"

"Victor is the red-haired male?"

"Yes."

"How do you know he wasn't her mate?"

"Lauren told me Joss was his mate," he explained, looking down at his hand—the hand with the scar.

"Did she tell you anything else, Beau? This is important. Do you know what he wants?"

"Of course," he whispered. "He wants me."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Edythe killed Joss," he said, wrapping his arms around his torso. "He did get…pissed off. But Lauren said he thought it was fairer to kill me than Edythe. Mate for mate. He didn't know—still doesn't know, I guess—that…that…" He swallowed once, hard. "That things aren't like that with us anymore. Not for Edythe, anyway."

I knew it. Not that this Victor guy wanted Beau as his victim, but that he still loved her. He just admitted it. Told me it to my face.

"Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"

"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special." He shrugged weekly, curling in on himself.

A soft growl began to rumble deep in my chest. "If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough—"

"Please," he gasped. "Please don't."

I nodded.

"This is important. This is exactly what we needed to know. We've got to tell the others right away." I stood up, grabbing Beau elbow to pull him up beside me. "Let's go."

I started to pull him back up the beach, to the gravel parking lot where I knew he parked his truck.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet," I admitted. I needed to talk to Samantha, then she'd tell us where to meet her. "I'll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?" I let go of his elbow near his truck and started to back up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," I promised. I then turned and bolted into the forest.

After I phased, I found that there was no one in the hive-mind. I let loose a piercing howl into the sky.

A few seconds later, Samantha joined me.

What's up? she asked.

I got some new information, I told her.

Where should we meet? Ember asked.

Dirt road where Quil got her first concussion?

Got it. I'm just outside the rez now. Sam, meet at the rendezvous point?

Perfect. I'll notify Paula and Janie. Julie, where is the road?

I put the image of the road in my mind, giving the location to the rest of them.

Thanks. See you there.

See you.

I phased back, running to Beau.

He was waiting in the truck, and when I knocked on the passenger side door—the doors were locked—he jumped, then unlocked the door when he saw me.

"You're really scared, aren't you?" I asked as I climbed in.

Beau nodded.

"Don't be. We'll take care of you—and Charlie, too. I promise."

"The idea of you finding Victor is scarier than the idea of him finding me," Beau whispered.

I laughed. "You've got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It's insulting."

Beau shook his head.

"Where did you go just now?" he asked.

Should I tell him that I have a psychic connection to four other wolf-girls? We were like a five-woman Firestorm. That tended to freak most people out, right?

"What? Is it a secret?" Beau wondered.

"Not really. It's kind of weird, though. I don't want to freak you out."

"I'm sort of used to weird by this point, you know."

I grinned back at him. "Guess you'd have to be. Okay." I took a deep breath. "See, when we're wolves, we can…hear each other."

Beau's eyebrows pulled together.

"Not hear sounds, but we can hear…thoughts—each other's anyway—no matter how far away from each other we are. It really helps when we hunt, but it's a big pain otherwise. It's embarrassing—having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?"

"Is that what you meant last night, when you said you would tell them you'd seen me, even though you didn't want to?"

"You're quick."

"Thanks."

"You're also very good with weird. I thought that would bother you."

"It's not…well, you're not the first person I've known who could do that. So it doesn't seem so weird to me."

"Really?" Who else could he have known that could read minds? "Wait—are you talking about your bloodsuckers?"

"I wish you wouldn't call them that."

I laughed. "Whatever. The Cullens, then?"

"Just…just Edythe." He pulled an arm across his torso, protecting himself.

"Huh. I thought those were just stories. I've heard legends about vampires who could do…extra stuff, but I thought that was just a myth."

"Is anything a myth anymore?" he joked.

"I guess not. Okay, we're going to meet Samantha and the others at the place we go to ride our bikes."

Beau turned the key in the ignition and started driving to the dirt road.

"So did you just turn into a wolf now, to talk to Samantha?" he asked.

I nodded. "I kept it real short—I tried not to think about you so they wouldn't know what was going on. I was afraid Samantha would tell me I couldn't bring you."

"That wouldn't have stopped me," he retorted.

"Well, it would have stopped me," I said morosely. "Remember how I couldn't finish my sentences last night? How I couldn't just tell you the whole story?"

"Yeah. You looked like you were choking on something."

I laughed darkly. How right he was. "Close enough. Samantha told me I couldn't tell you. She's…the head of the pack, you know. She's the alpha. When she tells us to do something, or not to do something—when she really means it, well, we can't just ignore her."

"Weird," he muttered.

"Very. It's kind of a wolf thing." That was how Janie described most of the things that were happening to me. A wolf thing.

"Huh."

"Yeah, there's a load of stuff like that—wolf things. I'm still learning. I can't imagine what it was like for Samantha, trying to deal with this alone. It sucks bad enough to go through it with a whole pack for support."

"Samantha was alone?"

"Yeah. When I…changed it was the most…horrible, the most terrifying thing I've ever been through—worse than anything I could have imagined. But I wasn't alone—there were the voices there, in my head, telling what had happened and what I had to do. That kept me from losing my mind, I think. But Samantha…" I shook my head. "Samantha had no help."

I thought about how Ember had stayed with me that night.

When we were younger, sometimes her mom would go out at night and not return until the next day—out having some kind of one-night-stand even though she had a daughter to think about.

My parents always made sure that Ember would stay with us when that happened. They were always the best nights, where we talked into the early hours of the morning, falling asleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor, and sneaking into the kitchen at midnight to make hot chocolate.

They were some of the best memories I had. Even the scars that marred Ember's shoulders and back couldn't ruin it. How she'd flinch when someone would pat her shoulder or raise their voices.

"Will they be angry that I'm with you?" Beau's voice broke into my reverie.

"Probably."

"Maybe I shouldn't—"

"No, it's okay. You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a…I don't know, spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."

Beau frowned.

"Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker," I blurted, trying to make him feel better. I guess he wouldn't want me to talk about them that way. "That's the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that those stories are true. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, do you think this Victor can do anything special?"

"I don't think so. She would have mentioned it."

"She? Oh, you mean Edythe—oops, sorry. I forgot. You don't like to say her name. Or hear it."

Beau squeezed his torso with his arm, trying to hold himself together. "Not really, no. How do you know me so well, Julie? Sometimes it's like you can read my mind."

"Naw. I just pay attention."

Beau cut the engine once we reached the road.

"This good?" he asked.

"Sure, sure." I took a breath. "You're still pretty unhappy, aren't you?"

Beau nodded.

"Did you ever think…that maybe…you're better off?"

Beau inhaled slowly, then let it out. "No."

"'Cause she wasn't the best—"

"Please, Julie," he interrupted, whispering. "Could we please not talk about this? I can't stand it."

"Okay. I'm sorry I said anything."

"Don't feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it."

I nodded. "Yeah, I had a hard time keeping a secret from you for two weeks. It must be hell to not be able to talk to anyone."

"Hell," he agreed.

Out in the forest, I could hear the patting of paws, feeling the shimmer of phasing.

"They're here," I told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked as I got out. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"They'll deal with it. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" I teased.

Beau got out of the truck. "Ha, ha," he said.

We met at the front of the truck, and I squeezed his hand lightly. "Here we go."

From the trees emerged the pack—my pack. Samantha was on the far left, Paula next to her and Ember on the far right with Janie on her right. I watched their expressions carefully, sensing each and every minute change in them, whether good or bad.

That's how I knew that Paula was going to blow.

"What have you done, Julie?" she screamed, her hands already beginning to shake. "What the hell are you thinking? Is he more important than everything—than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?"

"He can help," I muttered.

"Help!" Paula shouted. "Oh, that's likely! I'm sure the leech-lover is just dying to help us out!"

"Don't talk about him like that!" I shouted back. She cannot disrespect someone like that. I felt my neck heat, and I tried to force it back down.

Paula shuddered violently, not even trying.

"Paula! Relax!"

Oh, great job, Samantha, I thought. Yelling was just going to set Paula off even more.

"Jeez, Paula. Get a grip," Janie piped.

Paula snarled at Janie, the wolf-Paula trying to overpower the human-Paula. But when she turned and glared at Beau, I stepped in front of him, the need to protect strong in my chest.

"Right, protect him!" Paula screamed, shuddering once more before phasing into her dark silver wolf.

Shit.

A/N: Fun fact: I don't have the next chapter completed, and this is my finals week, so the next one might be slightly late. We'll see.

Next chapter titled: "Redheads Don't Have Souls" This is kind of an ironic title, actually, since I myself am a redhead.