A/N: Here we are, my loyal readers. I hope you enjoy! In which Gibbs calls Jenny a bitch, Heather shares a sweet moment with her sister, and an old friend makes an appearance!
To say that Jennifer Shepard was in a foul mood and had been for the better part of a week would have been an extreme understatement. She'd been short with everyone who crossed her path, so much so that even her assistant was avoiding her, Anthony DiNozzo had practically fled her office to escape her wrath, and she'd all but bitten off the head of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs when he'd asked her if she wanted sugar in her tea. As such, it was with great trepidation that her sister dialed her number in the early hours of morning, seeking her advice but terrified of the welcome she would receive.
Glaring at her phone as it rang, causing Aries to whimper, Jenny reached for the annoying device, not even bothering to turn on the bedside lamp as her fingers slammed down on the table. After all, she was going blind regardless, what difference would a lamp make?
"What?" she snapped.
"Jenny, did I wake you?"
"No," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "it's only two in the morning. Why would you think that?"
"I—I know. I'm sorry. But I really needed to talk to you. Please?"
"What is it, Heather?"
"I'm...I'm trying really, really hard, but...god, Jenny...I need a hit so badly that I can't stand it. What do I do?"
"Don't use it," Jenny supplied unhelpfully.
She felt Gibbs stir beside her, shrugging off his hand when he touched her shoulder, and he frowned.
"I know, but...how do I distract myself? What did you do when you were trying not to drink?"
"I drank anyway."
The glare that Gibbs gave her was so strong that she could sense it even in the darkness, and he turned on the lamp, staring at her as though he didn't recognise her. She ignored him, running her hand through her tangled red hair, and when Heather spoke again, the sudden sound made her jump.
"Please, Jenny. I don't need your Director side. I need to talk to my sister."
Just as Jenny was about to tell her that she was wasting her time, she flinched when Gibbs roughly slapped the back of her head, whipping around to glare at him.
"You're being a bitch," he said simply, "Stop it."
She opened her mouth to protest, but the shake of his head cut her off.
"Help her."
Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Jenny nodded, deciding that perhaps he had a point, and sighed.
"Heather, do you have a piece of paper and a pen?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Here's what I want you to do: write down everything that you love. Everything that means something to you, no matter how mundane it might seem. Can you do that?"
After getting an affirmative answer, Jenny continued, her tone much more gentle than before.
"Once you've done that, cross out everything on that list that you're willing to lose forever. Because if you take even one hit, that's exactly what's going to happen. You'll lose most, if not all, of the things on your list. You have to decide if that high is worth it. I can't make you stay sober, it has to be your choice. I just pray you make the right one."
There was a long silence, accompanied by the faint sound of rustling paper, and Jenny closed her eyes, waiting for an answer.
"Thank you," Heather whispered.
"What are sisters for?" Jenny asked, smiling slightly.
"I love you, Jenny. Goodnight."
"Love you, too."
Jenny hung up the phone, waiting for Gibbs to turn off the light, and as soon as he pulled her back into his arms, he kissed the top of her hair gently.
"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?"
A roll of her eyes was his answer.
As soon as Heather finished writing her list, she ran her fingers over the words slowly, thinking over each item carefully. Though she was shaking so much she could hardly stand it, she knew that Jenny was right. If she gave in now, threw away the progress she'd made, she would be throwing away any chance she'd ever had at happiness, any chance of repairing her relationship with her sister, any chance at a real life. No drug, no high was worth losing any of those things, and she shook her head, long red hair falling into her face. When she brushed it back, she was suddenly hit with the realisation that her hair was nearly identical to Jenny's, and that connection made her smile. It was a small one, true, but for now, it was strong enough.
"You seem to be a bit agitated today, Jenny."
It took everything in her power to keep from rolling her eyes at the man in front of her, though he'd done nothing to warrant such a reaction, and she sighed.
"Well, let's see...I'm almost thirty-seven and I'm going to be completely blind by the time I get married, unless that happens within the next month."
Dr. Lentz frowned, looking at her seriously, and leaned a bit closer.
"Have you and Jethro set a date for the wedding?"
Her head shook, and he nodded, his eyes studying her intently. He'd sensed her irritation almost immediately at the start of their session, and it had only grown stronger as they'd exchanged pleasantries. Now that he knew the reasoning behind it, he felt better equipped to handle it, and he gave her a smile that he didn't even know if she could see.
"Well, there's certainly no rush. I don't think that Jethro minds waiting, but if you feel that it would be better to move more quickly, then maybe you should discuss setting a date. It doesn't have to be immediate, but at least it would give you a sense of control."
"I'll think about it. But...what kind of person wants to marry a blind woman? I'd only get in his way."
"On the contrary, Jenny. Believe it or not, once you've trained your other senses, you'd be amazed at how easily you can find your way around. It will take time and work, but it's definitely attainable. A worthwhile goal to set for yourself. You're a very clever and resourceful woman. I have complete confidence in your abilities."
As he watched her, Dr. Lentz could tell that she wasn't truly listening, that her anger was preventing her from giving his words any real consideration, and he frowned.
"How quickly is the loss progressing?"
She sighed, shaking her head, and raised her eyes in his direction, her expression hard.
"If I didn't already know who you were, I wouldn't be able to recognise you. Everything is just a giant blur. And it's getting darker every day."
"I understand that you're angry, but I'd like to discuss the reasons behind that anger."
"I'm blind. Simple enough."
He shook his head, smiling sadly.
"I don't think that's everything, Jenny. I think that your anger is rooted in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you're going to lose, fear of your own limitations. It's perfectly natural, but if you work through these fears, you'll be able to make some real progress. I want you to think for a moment, and tell me what the thing you're most afraid of not being able to see is. Can you do that?"
She was silent for a long moment, considering his request, and when she slowly nodded, he smiled.
"Jethro," she answered finally, "I'll never be able to look in his eyes and see that raging storm of blue again. I'll never get to see him smile, that almost-arrogant little smirk he has when we're joking around on a rare quiet weekend. I'll never see that look he gets in his eyes just before he kisses me, or even the rage that builds in them when he's angry, that silent determination to find answers at any cost."
Dr. Lentz wrote her answer on the file in front of him, and when he looked at her again, he wasn't surprised to see tears shimmering in her eyes.
"There's so much I won't be able to do now. I paint in my spare time, and I can't exactly do that if I can't see. I can still listen to audio books, thankfully, but I won't even be able to do my own makeup anymore. I know that's silly, but for some reason, it matters to me. I don't even know how I'm going to get dressed every morning."
"Exactly, Jenny. There's that fear: it's mostly the unknown that scares you. You don't know how you're going to pick out clothing, or apply your makeup, or even paint. But let me tell you something: you can still do all of those things. Believe it or not, I've seen some amazing paintings by blind artists, and there are certain things you can do to achieve that. You can adjust the consistency of your paint for different colours, and you can paint on raised plaster to feel the picture you want to create. As for your clothing, you can organise it by colour and fabric, that way you can find the items you want by touching them, and do the same with your makeup. You might have to ask for help, but it is possible."
She nodded as she listened to his explanations, feeling somewhat relieved by the logic and solutions he'd presented her with, and ran her fingers through her hair.
"What about Jethro? How do I keep from being a burden to him?"
"The last thing Jethro sees you as is a burden, Jenny. That man would go to hell and back for you if you asked, and he loves you more than anything in the universe. Trust him and the love you have for each other. Don't let your fear cause you to doubt that. You've made it through so much together, and this is no different. You're both strong individuals, and when you combine that strength, nothing can stand in your way."
Though she still had her doubts, and though she was terrified of what the next few months would bring, for the first time, Jenny was beginning to think that maybe she could make it through this after all.
As Gibbs and Heather finished organising every item in Jenny's room, she gave him a curious glance when he passed her to pick up the hot glue gun. They'd been labeling the hangers in her closet with it, following the patterns laid out for them in a book Heather had gotten from the local library showing them how to read Braille, and as he finished the final touches on the last one, he smiled slightly.
"Jethro?"
He glanced in her direction to show he'd heard her, and she took a deep breath, unsure of how to continue.
"I just...thank you. For the other night. When I called Jenny and asked for her help. I know you're the one who got her to talk to me."
Gibbs nodded, placing the hanger back in its proper spot, and Heather sighed.
"I know I haven't been the best sister to Jenny, but I really am trying. I want to be in her life again. I just hope I'm not too late."
He frowned, looking at her seriously as they moved to the bathroom to begin labeling her makeup.
"Nah. Jen loves you. Just keep doing what you're doing."
A quick glance at his phone told him that it was time for him to pick Jenny up from her appointment, and he looked at her almost apologetically.
"You got this? I have to go pick her up."
Heather nodded.
"Yep. Go play chauffeur to my bitchy sister. If she kills you before you get back, I'm taking over your house."
Gibbs laughed, shaking his head, and as Heather resumed her labeling, he found that he was genuinely beginning to like the younger girl.
When Jenny walked into Gibbs' house, she was momentarily thrown by the lack of puppy sounds in the room, and she turned to face him, her expression confused.
"Where's Aries?"
"He's at school. Be back soon. Heather's picking him up in your car."
"School? Jethro, what on earth are you talking about? He's a dog."
Gibbs nodded, leading her to the stairs, and as they made their way up them, he smiled.
"I know. And soon, he's going to be a service dog. He'll be able to go anywhere you go, and he can help you when I'm not here."
As they walked, it didn't escape Jenny's notice that Gibbs never once moved his hand from it's protective place on her lower back, prepared to catch her if she stumbled. He led her into the bedroom, stopping at the closet, and when she frowned, he kissed her cheek gently.
"I know you've been learning Braille, and so I reorganised the closet. Every hanger has a tag on it, labeled with the colour and style of the item, and you can use it to find whatever you need. Did the same with your makeup and the tea downstairs, because let's face it: you're the only one who drinks tea around here."
Jenny's eyes filled with tears, and she turned to face him, desperately wishing she could see him more clearly.
"You did this...for me?"
He nodded.
"Course I did. Heather helped, and we did the same thing to everything in your house, too. That one took a bit longer, but we got it done."
Reaching for his shirt, Jenny pulled him closer, finding his lips with surprising ease, and when her fingers tangled in his hair, she pulled back just enough to speak.
"How long until Heather brings Aries back?"
"Bout an hour."
She kissed him again, sliding her hands under his shirt, and as he backed her up to the bed, she pulled the fabric over his head, tossing it carelessly in the corner. She wasted no time in removing her own clothing, and when he joined her on the mattress, her fingers instinctively went to his waist, undoing the button on his jeans. He kicked the clothing away, pulling her as close to him as he could, and as his lips found her throat, she moaned quietly.
"Jethro," her voice was breathless, "I want you to make me come no less than three times."
Her words made him harder than he'd ever thought he could be, and as he reached for the clasp of her bra, he kissed her collarbone lightly.
"Pretty tall order, Jen."
She smirked, looking at him with amusement, and shook her head.
"Afraid you can't manage it?"
Grabbing her ankle, he pulled her closer, slowly running his tongue over the smooth skin of her inner thigh.
"Oh, I can manage. Sure you can handle it?"
She nodded, and as he hooked his fingers in her underwear, he could feel her shaking. As soon the satin garment was dropped from his hand, he moved closer, trailing his lips over her hipbones. His fingers carefully slid inside of her, earning him a low moan, and he moved his mouth higher, circling her breasts slowly. She whispered his name, her hands running over his skin, causing him to shiver, and as he twisted his fingers, her body jerked of its own accord. His thumb circled her clit, his mouth captured hers in a deep kiss, biting down on her lower lip, and she gripped his shoulders tightly as she felt the familiar heat building in her body.
He let his nail carefully brush over her, making her grip on his shoulders tighten, and as she shattered in his arms, he smiled, keeping count in his head. Without giving her any time to recover, he let his tongue take the place of his fingers inside her, and she gasped, gripping the sheets beneath her.
"Jethro..."
Her body was still shaking as he continued to move his tongue, and she moved her hands to his hair, marveling at how something so coarse could still feel so gentle. She didn't think she could speak even if she'd tried, and as her second orgasm hit, her fingers lost their grip in his hair, and she struggled to catch her breath. He waited no less than thirty seconds before entering her, and he brought his lips close to her ear, his voice low.
"You sure you can handle this, Jen?"
"Don't stop," she whispered.
He nodded, rolling his hips against hers, so desperate for his own release that he could hardly stand it, and she kissed him hard, her tongue finding his easily. She let her nails trail long his skin, moving her lips to his throat, and as she nipped lightly at his skin, he lost his rhythm for a moment.
"God, Jen..."
He shivered when her tongue flicked against his earlobe, a low growl falling from his throat as she pulled the skin of his throat between her teeth hard enough to leave a mark, and his hips slammed against hers. A low vibration reached Jenny's ears, but she ignored it, knowing Gibbs had heard it as well, and for once, he didn't say a word about his precious rule.
"Jen, look at me."
"Why?" she gasped, kissing along his jawline.
He rolled his eyes, tipping her head back, his tongue dipping into the hollow of her collarbone.
"Because I asked you to."
Her eyes locked onto his, though he knew she had no way of knowing that, and he didn't look away as he moved faster. Her breath caught in her throat as he finally broke his gaze to kiss her, and when she moaned into him, he reached for her hand. His grip tightened as his own climax caused his ears to pop, and she threaded their fingers together. With his left, he brushed her hair away from her face, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead, and he smiled when she reached out to run her fingertips lightly over his jaw.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Jen. So much."
As he glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table, he saw that Heather would have likely returned to Jenny's house with Aries by now, and he shifted from his place on Jenny's still-shaking body, glancing at her with a smile.
"Feel like a shower?"
"Only if you actually let me shower."
He laughed, taking her hand and pulling her to the bathroom.
"I also labeled everything in here. Shampoo, toothpaste, mouthwash, all of it. Don't need you brushing your teeth with glue by accident."
Jenny frowned.
"Why would there be glue on the bathroom sink?"
"You never know, Jen."
She laughed as he turned on the shower, and as she tried to walk past him, he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her back against his chest, his lips grazing her ear as he spoke.
"By the way, that was three for three, Madam Director. What do I win?"
"A knee to the groin if you ever call me Madam Director again, Agent Gibbs."
His quiet laugh was enough to lighten her mood more than anything else had in days.
Aries made a mad dash for Jenny as soon as the front door opened, jumping up on her legs excitedly, and she smiled as she leaned down to pet him.
"Hi, baby. Did you go to school today? Daddy told me you're learning how to be an even smarter boy."
He licked her cheek, causing her to laugh, and when she straightened up, Gibbs whistled to get Aries' attention. He sat down on the ground, and when Gibbs told him to stay, he looked at Jenny seriously.
"Come here, Jen. I want to see if he stays."
She nodded, making her way carefully closer, and when she didn't hear the sound of Aries' nails clicking on the floor, she smiled.
"Good boy, Aries," Gibbs said, "Jen, go somewhere he can't see you."
Jenny took cautious steps, shaking her head when Heather offered to help her, and she smiled slightly.
"I want to see if I can find my way there on my own."
She followed the path from memory, her smile growing when she realised she'd made it into the kitchen without incident, and when she called for both Gibbs and Heather, they were both by her side in an instant, Gibbs' looking at her worriedly.
"Jenny? Are you okay?" Heather asked.
"Yeah. Look, I made it. And miraculously didn't break anything in the process."
Heather nodded, glancing in the living room, laughing quietly when she realised Aries hadn't moved.
"And your little one did what he was told."
They all made their way back into the living room, and when Gibbs saw Aries waiting patiently, he nodded at Jenny.
"Call him."
"Aries, come here."
He ran to her, stopping at her feet, and when she told him to sit, he obediently did so, his tail wagging along the floor.
"Good boy."
She patted the couch, allowing him to lay next to her, and as he snuggled closer to her warmth, she leaned down to kiss his head.
"You're such a smart little monster. See, Jethro? I told you he was precious."
Gibbs rolled his eyes, and Jenny shook her head, knowing exactly what he'd done.
"Don't roll your eyes at me."
Given the frequency with which it had always happened, no one thought it unusual when Gibbs walked with Jenny to her office the following Monday, his hand at her lower back. None of them were any the wiser to her deteriorating vision, and she was determined to keep it that way for as long as she possibly could. Cynthia Sumner had been the only person Jenny had entrusted to her confidence, and when she saw her boss approaching, she gave her a smile, forgetting that she likely couldn't see it.
"Good morning, Director Shepard."
"Good morning, Cynthia. How was your weekend?"
"Fine, ma'am. And yours?"
Jenny smiled, nodding at her as she paused at the desk.
"Not as bad as I'd thought it would be. What does the schedule look like for today?"
"Fairly light. One budget meeting, but it's simply a conference call. You should be fine."
"Thank you. Could you please hold all my calls unless it's from Agent Gibbs for about twenty minutes? I need time to reacquaint myself with my office."
Cynthia smiled, nodding as Jenny reached for the door.
"Yes, ma'am."
Though the younger woman couldn't see him, Gibbs had been hovering just outside the outer office, smiling when he realised just how much Cynthia really did care about Jenny. After all, not even Ducky was aware of the situation yet, though he knew it was only a matter of time before Jenny told him, and Cynthia had more than done her job of staying quiet. He slipped silently back down the stairs, and when McGee called his name, he turned, his eyes landing on him immediately.
"Can I talk to you?"
Gibbs jerked his head in the direction of the elevator, and the younger agent wasted no time following, speaking as soon as the door slid shut.
"Boss, I felt the baby move. Beth said it's been happening a lot lately, but this morning was the first time I felt it. It was...it was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."
Gibbs smiled, nodding at him as he flipped the emergency switch.
"Just wait until you hold that little baby. That will be the most amazing moment of your life. How far along is she now?"
McGee frowned, trying to remember.
"About six months now. Only three more to go. But...boss, what if...what if something happens? Like—"
"It won't," Gibbs assured him, "Everything is going perfectly, and it's going to stay that way. Do you two have names picked out?"
The younger man nodded, smiling.
"Yeah. But we're keeping it quiet for now. What I really wanted to ask you is...do you think you and Director Shepard would be willing to be godparents? Beth called to ask the other day, but no one answered."
Gibbs fought the urge to smirk, knowing exactly why Jenny hadn't answered her phone, and looked at McGee seriously.
"Let me talk it over with her."
"There's no one else we would trust if something happened to either of us. You've both been so supportive of everything, and...please, just think about it."
"Of course, McGee."
Though she still wasn't entirely sure she was ready for anyone else to know, Jenny ventured down to autopsy late that afternoon, deliberately waiting until Gibbs had gotten a case to talk to the Scottish doctor. She carefully made her way into the room, offering a smile to Jimmy Palmer as he passed her to take a sample to Abby, and when Ducky greeted her warmly, she extended that smile to him.
"How was your weekend, Jennifer?"
"Not too bad. Aries is going to school, so Saturday was kind of quiet."
"Obedience school? Is he bothering Jethro that much?"
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"Probably, but no. That's why I came to see you, so to speak."
"So to speak?" he repeated.
She nodded.
"Ducky, I...about a week ago, I found out that I have traumatic optic neuropathy."
"Oh, Jennifer...I am so sorry, my dear."
She sighed.
"You know what it means, then?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I do. I'm assuming this is a result of the accident, yes?"
Jenny nodded, glancing in his general direction, and he took a step closer, his eyes serious.
"Can you see me at all?"
Her head shook, and he moved until he was standing directly in front of her, laying his hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the contact, and he tilted her head until he was able to see her eyes, frowning as he examined them.
"How did you make it down here?"
"I walked, Ducky. I'm not completely helpless."
"No, but you have to be careful. Now, what's this about Aries?"
She laughed, giving him a gentle hug and he returned it cautiously.
"Jethro's having him trained to be a service dog. He and my sister have labeled everything in both of our houses with hot glue dots so I can read it in Braille, which is actually a lot more difficult to learn than you would think, and I'm currently familiarizing myself with the location of everything in my office so I can find it."
"I'm guessing this is why you were on the warpath last week?"
"You've been talking to Jethro," she answered knowingly.
He shrugged, then remembered she couldn't see the gesture.
"Possibly. Have you spoken to Dr. Lentz about this?"
She nodded.
"Yes. I've also worked out things with Cynthia, and we're going over everything with SecNav in a week. Once we have a plan set, we're going to discuss it, and Leon Vance will be briefed if there's a need."
"I must say, you're handling this remarkably well."
"Only now. I didn't take it so well at first. Almost decided to just give up entirely, then Jethro reminded me that I was being an idiot, and that was confirmed by Dr. Lentz."
Ducky laughed quietly.
"Just remember, my dear. If you need anything, I'm always here."
She hugged him, kissing his cheek as she pulled back, her smile slightly sad.
"I know. Thanks, Ducky. I love you."
"Love you more, Jennifer."
As he watched the redhead make her way carefully back to the elevator, the doctor sighed, his heart feeling heavier than it had in months. Would those two never catch a break?
Swearing as she realised that she had no idea where her coffee cup had disappeared to, Jenny ran her hands over the counter, shaking her head slowly. She knew where she'd left it, but it had somehow migrated to another part of the kitchen, and she was beginning to get more than a little irritated. Her fingers brushed over the ceramic cup, causing it to fall to the floor, shattering on impact, and she slammed her hand on the hard surface closing her eyes in frustration.
"God damn it, could people please not move things? Some of us are blind!"
Footsteps approaching made her pause in her movements, and Heather's voice close by made her jump.
"I'm sorry! I moved it when I was wiping off the counter. I'm so sorry, Jenny. I didn't even think."
Jenny was just about to step forward when her sister's voice cut through the silence, her tone urgent.
"Don't move! There's broken pieces all over the floor. Here, I'll clean it up."
Jenny knelt down, her fingers gingerly searching for the shattered fragments, and when she felt Heather touch her hands, she shook her head angrily.
"I can do it! It's my mess! Let me take care of it!"
"Jenny, I'm only trying to help."
"Well, stop! I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of c-cleaning up a few pieces of b-broken..."
She couldn't finish the sentence, her tears falling so rapidly that she lost her voice, and when Heather moved closer, she fell into her arms, sobbing into her shoulder.
"Shh...it's okay."
"No, it's not," Jenny said, her voice breaking, "I should be able to do this. I'm not an invalid, I shouldn't have to ask for help with something this simple."
Neither of the women noticed the front door opening, and when Gibbs heard the conversation coming from the room, he hovered in the hall, not wanting to intrude.
"There's nothing wrong with asking for help," Heather told her, running her hand over her hair, "Everyone asks for help sometimes. Even Jethro. You don't always have to be the strong one."
"I don't...I don't know how. I hate feeling this useless and pathetic, crying like a little bitch over a broken coffee cup."
Heather kissed her cheek, wiping away some of the tears beneath her eyes, and smiled.
"Honey, you're not pathetic. Anyone would be feeling that way after everything you've gone through."
"I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Before any of this shit happened. Before I ever even got this fucking job."
Heather frowned.
"But you love NCIS."
"Not that, I meant the Director's chair. Back when I was still just a stupid little Probie with Burley and Decker. It was so much simpler then."
"But Jenny, if things went back to the way they were then, we wouldn't be sitting here. Remember?"
Jenny nodded, trying to keep her tears in check. Her sister made a valid point, but the memories of all she'd lost was still weighing heavily on her.
"You miss Decker a lot, don't you?"
"Yeah," Jenny answered quietly, "After I left Gibbs' team...Will was sometimes my only contact, and we always had each other's back. I always knew, even if everyone else walked away, Deck would be there. And he was. Every time I started to doubt myself, every time I started drunkenly crying about how much I loved Gibbs even though he didn't feel the same, Will was there, to pull me out of it, to remind me of what I was capable of."
Gibbs frowned as he listened to her speak, running his hand through his hair, and he leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as he remembered his young agent.
"He was always so protective, him and Burley both, but...when it was just us, just me and Deck...he saved my ass so many times during that op. I did the same for him, but...in the end, I was the one who got him killed. I should have just done what I was sent to do in Russia. But I was too young, too inexperienced, too afraid...I let my emotions take control, and it cost one of my best friends his life. Almost cost mine, too."
Heather kissed her cheek again, pulling her closer, and smiled sadly.
"Decker didn't blame you. I know he wouldn't have. From everything you've told me, he loved you like a sister, and he would have understood. He knew there was always the potential for things to go bad, everyone who works with an agency like that knows the risk. He loved you, and so do Burley and Gibbs."
A sudden idea came to her, and she smiled, tilting Jenny's head up.
"Hey, why don't you call Burley? You still have his number, right?"
"Unless he's changed it. Jethro probably has it."
"Give Burley a call. It might do you some good to see him again. I'm sure he's missed you. He's probably just as upset about what happened as you are."
"I just can't believe it's been over a year now."
"I know. Just remember that it does get easier with time."
Gibbs stepped into the room, frowning at the sight of Jenny and Heather sitting on the floor, and Heather glanced up at the sound of his voice.
"Everything okay here?"
Jenny nodded, wiping away the last of her tears and smiling to the best of her ability.
"Broke a coffee cup."
He nodded, reaching out to help her up from the floor.
"I see that. You didn't get cut, did you?"
Her head shook and Heather moved to grab a broom, sweeping up the fragments as Gibbs led Jenny into the living room.
"Heard you talking to Heather. You don't really blame yourself for Decker's death do you?"
"How could I not, Jethro? I was supposed to—"
"Yeah, and I was supposed to confirm it. I didn't. I took you at your word, and given your age, inexperience, and the fact that it was your first major undercover op, I should have never done that. It's my fault just as much as it is yours."
As she considered his words, Jenny finally nodded, knowing that her guilt wouldn't bring Decker back.
"Jethro?"
"Hm?"
"Do you still have Burley's number?"
"Yeah. Want me to give him a call?"
Jenny shook her head, long red hair falling into her face.
"No, just dial the number for me, please."
He grabbed her phone, punching in the correct numbers, and as it began to ring, he kissed her cheek, standing to give her privacy.
"I'll be in the kitchen. Yell if you need me."
She nodded just as she heard the click of the phone in her ear, and she immediately tensed.
"Burley."
"Hey, Stan. It's Jenny Shepard."
"Woah, hey, Shep! Talk about a blast from the past! How've you been?"
"That's a bit of a long conversation, best not had over the phone. I was just calling to see if you wanted to get together for a drink or something."
There was a long pause, and when his voice drifted down the line, it was warm.
"Sure. You free tomorrow night?"
"Definitely. Where do you want to meet up?"
He gave her the name of an old bar they had frequented early in their friendship, and after they'd exchanged a few more pleasantries, Jenny hung up, unsure of why she was suddenly shaking.
Jenny smiled when she heard Burley call her name, and she turned in the direction of his voice. She carefully made her way closer, miraculously not colliding with anything, and when he held out a chair for her, she smiled gratefully.
"Hey, Burley."
"Hi, Red. Long time, no see. How's it going?"
She shrugged.
"How much time do you have?"
He laughed, signaling the bartender, and after ordering their drinks, Jenny gave him a smile.
"Seriously, the last few years have been crazy. Between Decker, almost getting killed in California, and everything else that's happened...I don't know where to start."
Their drinks were placed in front of them, and Jenny reached for hers, downing it quickly. She knew she would need all the help she could get if she wanted to make it through the night alive. Burley watched her as she began speaking, wondering what she could possibly be so nervous about. She spoke for so long that her voice became hoarse, and as they drank round after round of whiskey, Burley threw his arm around her, kissing her cheek as he drained his fourth glass.
"Damn, Shep...how in the world are you still standing?"
"Carefully," she quipped, "and usually with someone there to make sure I don't walk in front of traffic."
"So, Jenny...a baby? How'd you convince Gibbs not to run?"
She sighed, unsure of how much to tell him, and she shook her head.
"He was excited. Even I was, and I never wanted children in my life. Matthew was so beautiful, so perfect, so small...you know, I never even got to hold him."
"You know...I could see you as a great mother. You always were saving mine and Decker's asses when we were on cases. Are you going to try again?"
Jenny shook her head.
"No, I...I couldn't go through that again, and I don't think I could take care of a child blind."
"Fair enough. So...how are you dealing with that? Must be pretty scary."
Nodding, Jenny laid her head on his shoulder.
"You have no idea. I can't even see you, Stan. I'm never going to see Gibbs again, never going to see McGee's baby...it's so fucking terrifying."
"I can imagine. You know, if you need anything, all you have to do is call. I've missed you. And Gibbs."
"Well, stop by sometime. You know where we both live. Though I should warn you, my sister is staying with me right now. But, you're always welcome."
"Thanks, Red. You, Gibbs and Ducky are the only friends I have now. Work too much for anything else."
Jenny smiled, kissing his cheek.
"I know the feeling. I really should be heading out, though. Gibbs is probably wondering if we robbed a bank or something."
"I'll drive the getaway car."
Laughing, Jenny gave him one last kiss, and as they walked to the door, he wrapped his arms around her, his voice low in her ear.
"Take care, Jenny. I'll call you soon."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you too, honey."
Burley waved at Jenny as she got into the taxi, pulling out his cell to text Gibbs, and as he waited for his own ride, he laughed to himself.
Hey, Gibbs. Just wanted you to know I kept your girl safe. Hope to see you soon.
When his phone chimed a minute later, he couldn't stop the loud laughter that fell from his throat.
You better have or I'll head slap you into the next century.
Typical Gibbs. Some things never changed.
A/N: Reviews are like finely aged bourbon: they make me smile, and keep me going.