AN: There's a M-rated section in the last part of this chapter, so be prepared ;-)

Chapter Title "Lost In The Light" by Bahamas

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Chicago PD, Fire or Med characters, only my OCs!

Leaving Jay in the morning sucked! A lot!
Rianne would have loved nothing more than to crawl back under the covers with him. Just to breathe in his warmth or kiss for hours on end. She felt she still hadn't done that nearly enough.
While he got to sleep in, she had to get her ass into the office at 7.30 in the morning. Convalescence period was over!

Going somewhere on her own after a full week of intimate togetherness sucked even more. She totally had forgotten what that felt like and didn't recognize herself for a minute. It was like she physically missed him the moment she left the house.

Thankfully work didn't give her much time and space to be hung up on that and for the independent woman still living somewhere inside of her it was maybe even a pacification that she actually made it to the office and didn't turn on her heel to get back to him.
After her long absence there was a ton of stuff to catch up on, paperwork piling up on her desk, colleagues checking in with her, appointments to be scheduled. Office gossip and news on her cases kept her busy. Thankfully she wasn't directly dragged out to an emergency call on her first day back.

Rianne did also learn that she could have been right about seeing Nate last night after all. When talking to Martha around noon her co-worker mentioned Nate at some point and that he had been to her office to come see her last week. There was a little confusion as to why Nate hadn't known about his roommates furlough. Usually they were renowned to know each others schedules by heart. Rianne had to come up with some half-ass lie about it, not wanting to let her colleague in on their domestic drama right now.

Inwardly she was fuming though. What the fuck?
So he really was back from whatever hole he had crawled out of and hadn't told her, called her, came by the loft? Didn't he think they had some things to talk about? And had Adam known? She would surly sent him an inquisitive text on the matter.
After having received that kind of intel Rianne closed the door to her office and sat down on her desk, upset and already fed up with this day. At least she had come back mid-week, so there were only two and a half days left before the weekend again and she wasn't on call yet.

It had been easier to block these issues from her mind for the last days. Just when she thought about them her phone rang.
It was Jay, summoned by her thoughts as it seemed and eliciting a smile out of her:

"Hey, miss me already?" She answered, looking forward to at least hearing his voice that was music to her ears right now.

"Of course, always… But since at least one of us has to do some good for this city you may be forgiven for not being here now," he teased.

She was glad he sounded so upbeat although being home alone and probably itching to get back to work a.s.a.p.

"Thank you so much for your sympathy…" she found herself answering with dry sarcasm.

"You okay?"

"Yeah fine, just lots to do and to catch up on over here, so…" she fiddled with some pens on her desks, trying to get rid of the churning feeling in her stomach.

"Rianne…" he interrupted her, tone reprimanding.

How could he tell that something was wrong? He couldn't even see her face right now. She didn't have the energy to come up with a lie, although she didn't want to worry him. Jay would suss her out anyway. Sometimes it wasn't so convenient to date a smart cop:

"Okay little Psychic… I'm actually pretty upset, because I learned that Nate's back at work, actually has been for over a week and he didn't tell me and didn't bother to check in and… yeah, I'm pissed and I don't really wanna talk about it…"

"Will you talk to me about it tonight?"

"I might… "

"Fine, I'll reserve you a slot of my precious time. Until then: Don't let this drag you down too much! It's not worth it!"

"Yeah, I know… so why were you calling exactly?"

"I wanted to check if it would be okay if Will comes over here? He wanted to come take a look at me after shift and talk wedding stuff, we'll make some dinner…"

Will and Nat's wedding was approaching fast. In the fateful events of those last weeks she had almost forgotten about it altogether, though the invitation she had gotten months ago was pinned to her fridge and Jay had complained to her about his best-man-duties. There were only a little over three weeks left until the big event. Maybe she should start looking for an outfit?

The thought of Will and Jay at the loft making dinner and planning something as normal as a wedding, was somehow uplifting. Like this was turning into something permanent: them sharing at kitchen, a bath, a bedroom, space to invite friends and family to, checking in, calling each other during the day. Like two separate lives slowly melting into one.

"Yeah, of course. I am sorry for not saying something anyway. You can have over whomever you want… no strippers though…"

"What? No strippers?" Jay raised his voice in mock indignation.

"Can't discuss this now, my supervisor is approaching. Have fun with your brother, I'll see you later."

After that call she got to work even faster, wanting to end her day as soon as she possibly could and get back to Jay.
In the end she decided against going to Nate's office to make a move herself, see if she would run into him. Work wasn't really the best place to hash things out on that front.

When Rianne got home eventually Will was still there and the two men attempted to cook something or heat something up, she wasn't sure which one it was.

"Hey Halstead bros! How was your day? What are you making?" she called out, dropping her bag and keys on the hallway sideboard, before heading to the kitchen island.

Everything brightened up inside of her when she took in the sight of Jay and Will perched on the counter, Jay holding out his hand when he saw her, to pull her into him immediately. Could it be possible to miss someone that much? She had only been away from him for a little over 7 hours? ¡Por dios! She really was a lost cause.

"Mac'n'Cheese!" he chuckled into her hair, when he kissed her and held her close before releasing her, so she could say hello to Will.

A second long Halstead embrace followed, Will grinning at her good-humoredly, apparently enjoying this little domestic get-together:

"Glad you're joining us, so that I can tell you in person: I am so glad you two figured out this thing between you! It actually saves us two plus-ones to the wedding. Don't come complaining to me though if Jay gives you any trouble! There's a no-return-policy on this one!" Will pointed at his brother who just rolled his eyes and put some dishes and cutlery on the big dining table.

Seemed they were at least eating those Mac'n'Cheese with style. It felt nice that Jay knew his way around her kitchen by now.

"You don't say!" Rianne winked back at Will.

"But what if I would want to bring a date to your wedding anyway? You already gave us both a plus one, didn't you? Just checking... as sort of a back up plan I mean…" Rianne went straight for the espresso machine, shooting a saucy sideways glance at Jay who was squinting at her:

"We're gonna talk about that wicked plan of yours later Jezebel!"

She blew him a kiss and got the moka pot going. She always needed a good coffein-fix in the evening.

"I wanted to ask you something by the way, about the wedding?" Will came to stand beside her at the range, not even bothering to participate in that plus-one discussion any longer.

The expression on his face was so similar to the one Jay was sporting when he wanted a favor, Rianne amusedly braced herself for whatever Will wanted to ask her, crossing her arms over her chest when she faced him:

"Oh, please don't make me be a part of the bridal train or something stupid like that?"

"What? You don't wanna be part of the bridal train? You don't mean that!" Will played offended, but his dark brown eyes sparkled with mirth.

"Believe me, she does…" Jay shot him an amused look out of big green eyes on his end and took a gulp of the water-bottle he was holding, before adding:

"She's weird like that…" He quickly ducked away from the mock swing Rianne took at his head, chuckling.

"I am not weird! I am just not into those kitschy traditions."

"Just kidding, actually that was not what I was going to ask… Would you do me a massive favor and practice something for the wedding with me? I wanted to sing Nat one or two songs… As sort of a wedding gift? Thought it would be nice to throw a female voice and maybe another guitar into the mix, so yours crossed my mind...I know it's kind of late notice, but I would really appreciate your help!"

Rianne thought about that for a minute. Since her silent falling-out with Nate she had just played on and off to herself or for Jay that one time. Maybe it would be nice to broaden her horizon concerning potential fellow musicians? She knew Will had a good voice and decent guitar skills because he once told her he had earned some money on the side to pay for his medical tuition by playing songs at Irish weddings. So this probably could be fun.

"You know it's just his way of making sure you're coming to the wedding, right? Because he knows you're way too conscientious to bail on him once you said yes..." Jay joked, but she detected some theme of his own wrapped up in this comment.

"Isn't this more your issue!?"

"Oh, snap!" Will smirked and Jay didn't say anything for a moment.

The look in his eyes told her enough though, 1:1 in copping each other today. He was afraid she would maybe find a reason to not go to the wedding with him.

"Would this be alright with you though? Me and Will making fools of ourselves on a stage?" Rianne took a sip from her by now brimming cup of coffee and studied Jay over the rim of it.

He looked taken aback that she would ask his permission on this. But somehow with their sometimes difficult brotherly dynamic she wanted to make sure he knew his opinion mattered to her and she didn't want him to feel left out.

"Babe you can do whatever you want. As long as I don't have to sing in front of hundreds of people it's all good. And I already knew Will wanted to ask you, so... no surprise there. It's all good, although maybe a little kitschy..." He took the casserole dish out of the oven and put it on the table, smirking to himself because of his rhetoric strike.

"Okay, I'll do it!" she said then, ignoring Jay's dig and got immediately swept off her feet by Will, as usual exuberant in his joy like a little child.

"Oh god thank you! You have no idea what that means. I would be so nervous doing this on my own given the circumstance that it's my own wedding this time for Christ's sake! I hope we don't make freakin' fools of ourselves though!"

"And I really hope you quit the swearing in church!" Jay reprimanded sarcastically, already taking his place at the table.

Over macaroni and cheese and some wine they continued their banter, talking possible songs, arrangements, changed topics to Jay's shrink meeting tomorrow, Rianne's work-day and some more until Will had to get going.

As long as her days ended like this Rianne thought she would take some irritations at work anytime.
She thought it was quite interesting how the two Halstead brothers seemed so different and yet there was this family similarity they both were mostly oblivious of.
Even though sometimes the old anger, hurt and disagreements between them flared up again, they secretly loved each other more than they would ever admit to.

Jay woke up because he was cold. When he opened his eyes he instantly knew why: The space beside him was empty.

From the temperature of the mattress he could tell it had been empty for quite some time. A slight jolt of adrenaline kicked in and he was out of the bed in a second. She would not walk out on him in her own home – would she?
He entered the central area of the loft. Everything was quiet and dark apart from the lights of Chicago shining in through the floor-to-ceiling windows nobody had bothered to cover up, onto the slightly swinging hammock.
Jay could make out a figure lying in there, arms hanging out, almost falling down to the floor any minute now, because she'd unconsciously moved too close to the edge. Límon had curled up on her, and was looking at Jay curiously, when he got near. Stretching all four of his legs out languidly on his mistress' body that 'ugly bugger' decided to make himself scarce. Jay imagined the cat throwing him a haughty side glance before parading off.

Rianne had fallen asleep reading. Her glasses were still halfway up her nose, a book in a heap of pages lying on the hardwood-floor, where it had slipped out of her hands. He'd almost had a heart-attack when he found out about those glasses last week, because they looked incredibly sexy-nerdy on her. Jay hadn't known that he was obviously harboring some naughty teacher fantasies.

His heart swelled at the sight of her wiped out like a little girl that had fallen asleep during homework. Unguarded. That special tenderness that threatened to overwhelm him more and more when he was looking at her since their reunion made him reach out his hand. He took her glasses off and put them aside. Then he positioned his arms around her like he would usually do. But when he tried to pick her up he quickly noticed that his shoulder wasn't up to that task just yet. The angle was not right and he cursed through his teeth, in a bit of pain and frustrated with himself and his still evident disability.

"What are you trying to do?" Rianne suddenly looked at him, wide-awake.

"I wanted to carry you back to bed, because I'm a selfish bastard that can't sleep on his own. But it seems I can't do that because of this stupid injury. And now I have to go back to bed alone and be cold all over again."

"There are such things as blankets cariño. Normally they keep you warm at night. Or you could put some clothes on..."

She assessed his half-naked state critically. How could she be sassy just moments after she woke up?

"Funny! Why'd you sleep here in the first place?"

"My insomnia kicked in, didn't want to trigger yours, so I went to get some reading done – obviously failed to let you sleep."

He knew she was only looking out for him and thought he needed the rest. After having been cleared by a police psychologist today, tomorrow he was going back to working with Intelligence. What she didn't get was that he really slept better with her beside him no matter if she was wide awake or not. It was eerie how quick one got used to not sleeping alone as well as not being alone in general.

"Yeah, you guessed correctly. Next time just wake me up, I'll think of something that will put you back to sleep just fine."

She splurted with laughter: "That sounds actually really creepy!"

"You know what I mean..."

"I'm not sure what you mean…"

"I'll show you, if you follow me back to bed."

"Sounds a lot like blackmail. You could join me in here too," she moved aside a bit, motioning for him to climb into the hammock with her.

Jay steadfastly refused: "No way - I am not getting into that swinging thing with you."

"I bet one day you'll just check it out and will find that it's extremely comfy and then I'm gonna have to fight you for a place in it!"

"Never going to happen... I am not that guy!"

"What guy? The guy who is relaxing in a hammock?" Rianne teasingly stretched out her limbs to full extend just like her cat had done moments before.

Her shirt riding up and revealing a lot of that soft skin on her stomach. The lines of her tattoos vanished under her shirt just below the rise of her breasts. Suddenly Jay didn't really need to get back to sleep, he swallowed hard. It wasn't funny how much she kept making him want her.

"Would you just stop and come back to bed with me?" he laughed exasperatedly and stopped the hammock from swinging any further, having half a mind to turn it upside down and make her get out that way.

Instead he squatted in front of her, grabbed her chin and turned his best sex eyes on her, ordering in a husky voice:

"I could think of a better use for that cheeky mouth of yours, so move it!"

Her lazy gaze immediately landed intently on his lips. When her eyes returned back to his, her expression had shifted into something challenging, her tone suggestive:

"Uh, bossy…"

Jay turned up the heat between them another notch by running his hand down her front slowly but firmly, stroking her through the fabric of her panties, making Rianne draw in a sharp breath. Looking to the already evident bulge in his shorts when he got back up, then staring into his eyes that were eating her up, she growled and got up in one swift movement while grabbing his neck and bruisingly kissed him.

"Fuck, I hate how you keep doing that to me!" she moaned between kisses, taking off her shirt and pants in all but two seconds, Jay's shorts following suit.

"Do what exactly to you?" He dragged her back into the bedroom with his body pressed to hers, not able to decide where he wanted to touch her first, ending up roaming his hands and mouth all over her.

"Make me loose myself and act like a sex-starved hussy every time you look at me like that! I thought we wanted to take it slow?" She rubbed her thumbs over his nipples amplifying the throbbing pulse in his loins and making him push her down on the bed impulsively.

"I'm done with slow…" Jay laughed and panted, crawling onto the bed with her and kissing his way up her thighs, encouraged by the way her eyes rolled back while he did that.

"In fact I can't wait until I am all healed up and I am making you part of my fitness training to get back into shape! We're gonna have so much sex everywhere and every which way possible... It's gonna be mind-blowing and exhausting, darling!" He wolfishly looked down on her, fantasizing right now which surface he wanted to lift her up on and ravish her inch by inch.

Rianne kept nibbling at his chin once he laid down by her side, pushed himself up on his right arm and pulled her right leg over his, the tip of him already teasing her.
She softly laughed at his excitement:

"Easy there Detective Halstud! Who says I would want to participate in that?"

"You keep telling yourself that! You never say no to sex!"

"Up until now I didn't! Who say's I won't say no in the future…?"

Jay just rolled his eyes at her, he didn't buy that for one minute. And he was done talking, rather sucked at her neck. Apparently she wasn't done though:

"Besides: Does this imply it's all just about my body then?"

"Sex with you is about way more than just your body..." On that note he pushed into her in one smooth motion, taking her by surprise.

Keeping his eyes on hers intently he began moving slowly.
It was about more than just her and his body for sure. Every time he felt their connection getting stronger, their bodies expressing and anticipating what their hearts and souls so desperately needed: To be seen, to be loved and to belong!

"Oh boy..." Rianne gasped, grasping his hips to pull him deeper inside of her.

"Right, I think I'm done with slow too..."

In their preoccupation with one another they didn't hear someone waltz into the loft just past 2 a.m.

AN: I know I am going more than a little off the "Chicago Med" script and storyline here. There's several reasons for that: First it's the show I am probably least obsessed about and haven't watched like 5 times over… Secondly I really didn't like what happened to Will & Natalie there and am kind of not on board with Will's new love interest, so I felt like I wanted to give Manstead the wedding they deserved - in my story at least. I hope you can follow me on that or at least tolerate it. We're going to see how that's going to be like in the next chapters.