A Matter of Honor

by wingkia

A story that developed from a Reddit challenge 'A Mother Like No Other' (I go by MetusR there), this one follows a Commander as he discovers his past and builds a future for himself.

14. Chapter 14

A/N: Glad to see that Chapter 13 took some people by surprise!

Part Fourteen – Confessions in the Moonlight

I and Gneisenau walked away from the Sakura dorms and to the docks… she had convinced me that maybe sleeping on my hull would be the safest option tonight…. I kind of had to agree.

I looked around and saw that it was just the two of us on this jetty as we made our way towards my hull, I found myself fidgeting, there was something I wanted to ask her, but I didn't know how to cross that bridge right now. She looked over at me, causing me to look away quickly and she asked, "What is it? Is there something on my face?"

I shook my head and sighed before I said, "There's something I want to ask, but I don't know if I want the answer…"

She sighed and ran a hand through her purple-pink hair before folding her arms under her bust and saying, "Sometimes it is just better to ask, even if the answer is painful… at least that way you know."

I nodded, came to a stop, and leaned against a railing to look over the water as I said, "Fair point. There is a lot I want to say and ask, but most of it could be moot, depending on the answer to the first question."

Gneisenau moved to stand beside me, leaning over the railing like I was, and said, "Go ahead, I'll be as honest with my answer."

I take a moment to run my hands through my hair and just rip the band-aid off and ask, "Am I just an assignment for you?"

She went silent, her blue eyes wide behind her red-rimmed glasses, it took sometime before she answered me, "Yes and no."

I raised an eyebrow at her and she elaborated, "Yes, in so far as I was assigned a task of getting close to you and it is a task I will do my best to carry out. And no, because without realizing it, I've come to enjoy supporting you, being near you, and just talking to you."

I let out a breath that I had been holding and she followed that up with a question of her own, "Why do you ask?"

I sigh again and fill her in, "Apparently, I've been told that I need to present my choice of suiter to the Queen before the New Year's gala and hope that the Queen likes her enough to not give me away to either her choice or Akagi…"

She nodded and asked me, "What about North Carolina?"

I felt a chill run down my spine and I ran my hands over my head again as I told her, "Spending time with her is fun, but we don't talk… at least not like you and I talk."

She nodded again and asked, "So where do I fall into the list then? I mean clearly, Akagi is at the bottom."

I smirk and bob my head up and down as I say, "Very true."

I turn to look at her and risk brushing some of her hair with a hand as I say, "Truth is, especially after tonight, I know I need you in my life. I was going to ask you out tonight to talk about this thing when Akagi did what she did."

I watched as she blushed brightly and said simply, "Oh."

Oh? Oh?! Really? Talk about a blow to my ego…

She looked down and bit her lower lip for a moment, before leaning her head into my hand as she said, "I'm willing to explore this, but it's not something I want to jump headfirst into."

I nod as I say, "I understand that, but are you okay with being my choice to present to the Queen?"

She was quiet again before nodding as she said, "I am… but understand this, nothing will happen between you and me until there are assurances in place."

I laughed and shook my head as I said, "That's not the first time I've heard that…"

She raised an eyebrow as she probed, "Who else said something similar?"

I sigh and rub the back of my neck as I say, "North Carolina."

She gave me a sideways glance and ask, "Before or after the two of you fooled around on the north hill?"

Huh… I hadn't expected that she'd know about that…

I felt my cheeks get hot and I turned my attention out to the water as I mumbled, "During."

She nodded and said, "Thank you for behind honest about that."

She was quiet for a moment before asking me, "Can I be honest about something?"

"Of course you can." I say to her, risking placing a hand on her shoulder.

I see her look at my hand as she sighs and says, "I don't like the idea that you stuck your tongue down the throat of North Carolina… it makes me worry that you might do something with someone else in the future."

I nod, that was a fair enough concern… I hadn't really thought about monogamy being a concern among the kansen. I sigh inwardly before I say to her, "You have my word Gneisenau, I won't stick my tongue or any other part of my body into another kansen so long as we are together."

I see it in her shoulders as they slump slightly and she lets out a breath before smiling at me, I've seen her smile before, but this one felt different, more radiant. She nodded and straightened up as she said, "Good, then let's get you to your quarters. Akagi won't be bold enough to strike again if you are protected by other kansen."

XXXX

XXXX

The next day, I found some time for me to get out to a secluded part of the south beach; I looked around and summoned my rigging, once it was around me I tenderly placed a foot on the water, it felt strange, almost like I was standing on ice. I looked around again and pushed off with my left foot to glide a little on the water before I put my left foot down on it.

Both of my feet wanted to go in opposite directions and I bent at my hips almost falling forward, I outstretched my hands and spun them around to regain my balance as I brought my feet closer together. Once I was sure of my balance on the water, I pushed off again to glide, then switched feet and pushed off again… it was just like skating on ice…

Oh, frack me! Stopping was always a problem for me when I went skating….

I start to panic a little and lose my balance crashing backward onto the water. I let out a heavy sigh and get myself back upright and try it again, pushing off, changing leading foot to push off again with, over and over. I must've spent close to an hour trying to get this down. As I rounded a bend I saw short blond hair, a red uniform, and a cape, I knew that figure well enough now to call out, "Hey Mom, look at me!"

I saw her come to halt so easily… and I tried to stop too… and I failed, spectacularly, crashing face-first into the water… I could hear my mother laughing away. After a moment I feel her hands around my right arm as she pulled me up and said, "I don't think that was what you wanted to show me, was it Mitchel?"

I sighed and said in a dejected tone, "No…"

I could hear her trying to suppress more laughter as she said, "Still I think it was a good attempt at learning how to skim the water."

"Thanks, Mom… I had managed to stay upright for almost a whole hour." I say to her.

She nods and asks me, "That's good to hear, not too much longer before you're able to do it without falling over… But I wanted to ask, how was Gneisenau last night?"

I rubbed the back of my head and sighed, filling my mother in on the events, from the Queen offering me to and Illustrious to me, to Akagi's attempted rape and likely murder of me, to Gneisenau saving my backside and our talk on the docks.

When I talked about what Akagi and done, I could see my other press her lips together, she was clearly mad about that and she said to me, "I am going to have words with Nagato about this."

I shake my head and say, "I'd rather you didn't. As a guy, it's embarrassing to admit that things like that can happen to us. It does, it's just so rare and makes us look so weak…"

My mother shook her head and put an arm on my shoulder as she says, "There is nothing for you to be ashamed about, she used poison and would've likely killed you after, based on what you said, she had said."

I nod my head up and down as I say, "I know Mom, but I think the best revenge I can have against Akagi, would be to have her denied me at the gala. From what I understand, Akagi talks a lot, but has never engaged another kansen directly to back up those words, not even against Taihou."

My mother sighs and hangs her head as she asks, "If you're sure?"

"I am." I say to confirm to both her and myself that I am going to go through with this course of action.

The next thing I know, she's wrapped me in a warm hug as she says, "Now, you shouldn't spend all day out here, you need to tell the Queen whom you've chosen and let her go about doing what she is going to do."

I nod again and return the embrace as I say, "Thanks Mom… you're not against my choice right?"

She leans back a little and smiles at me as she says, "Naturally I would prefer North Carolina or Illustrious, but if you feel that Gneisenau is better for you, who am I to deny that? Lord knows I've not had the best instincts when it comes to finding someone."

XXXX

XXXX

I managed to track down the Queen in her throne room, looking as disinterested as I guess inhumanly possible. Tea and tea cakes spread around her, not even Warspite was visible at the moment. Perfect for my needs at the moment, as I cross into the throne room, her blue eyes dart to me and she says, "We are most disappointed, Thunderer, that you did not visit with Illustrious last night."

I sigh inwardly and offer her a bow as I say to her, "Regrettably, Your Majesty, life had other plans for me last night."

I watch as she starts to inspect the fingernails on her left hand as she says, "Yet you found time to meet someone at the docks none the less."

I nod as I straighten up before I tell her, "That is true, and it has to do with what I want to talk to you about."

"Oh?" she says, raising one of her golden eyebrows, still looking disinterested in what I have to say.

"I have chosen who I am going to present for your consideration." I say to her, I'm trying to get a read on the Queen, but I'm having a hard time with that right now.

Her eyes snap back to me and she says, "This should be interesting, amuse Us, Thunderer."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, before I say, "Gneisenau."

I see her lips press together and she asks, "You are testing Our resolve with this, Thunderer."

I shake my head as I say, "No my Queen, rather I am letting you know my preference."

She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose as she says, "Do you understand how complicated that choice is?"

I nod as I say, "I understand that the relationship between the Royal Navy and the Iron Blood has been… complicated in the past…"

She laughs as she says, "Complicated is an understatement. Only the Sakura and Sardegna Empires have been more difficult!"

I nod again before I say, "That is true, but I would think that Your Majesty would be on better terms with the Iron Blood, especially with a monthly poker game between yourself, Herrin Bismarck, and Washington."

Her blue eyes narrowed at me as she said in a low tone of voice, "How did you know about that?"

I take a breath to center myself before I tell her, "You forget Your Majesty, I am the nephew of Sir Johnathan Hawker, who was a base commander here, and is currently visiting."

She sighs again, twisting in her chair slightly as she puts on a pout and says, "Yes… well… I will consider it. You will have my answer at the gala."

I offer another bow and say, "Thank you, Your Majesty."

XXXX

XXXX

Pushing the door open to the lounge where the Royal Knights kept as our space, I looked before flopping down on the couch and letting out an exasperated sigh before I undid my jacket and ran my hands through my hair. Leaning my head back over the couch I looked up and said out loud, "Why can nothing be easy?"

"Because then it wouldn't be worth doing." My mother's voice came back.

Lifting my head I saw her coming out of the kitchenette we had, in her hands, I saw a tray with a teapot and some cups on it. I watched as my mother sat across from me in a chair and placed down the tray before pouring some tea for herself. Sitting up I pour myself a cup as she asks, "Well? How did it go with Her Majesty?"

I sip my tea and think about the interaction for a moment before I say, "Unclear. She wasn't impressed that I chose Gneisenau… and I called out her monthly dealings with Bismarck."

My mother choked on her tea, putting it down and patting her chest before she said, "We all pretend that doesn't happen…"

"Why?" I ask.

"Well… I'm not sure actually, but we all know that the Queen plays poker with Bismarck and Washington, but I think the fact that she does that is the reason we pretend she doesn't due to it being…" she paused and tapped her chin before saying, "not very Queen-like, I guess?"

I shrug as I say with air quotes, "Doesn't really matter when you get right down to it, all I know is she was clearly unimpressed with my choice as I don't think she thinks it was the correct choice."

My mother picks up her tea again and sips from it as she says, "How long did she say before she would tell you her answer?"

I sigh and put my tea down and look out the window as I say, "The gala… that is still a week away."

My mother bobs her head up and down before reaching over and touching my knee as she says, "Don't worry too much about it now, Mitchel, it is out of your hands now."

I sigh and nod before I say, "But what do I do, if she gives me to North Carolina or Illustrious?"

My mother sighs and says, "You do your duty as a member of the royal household, and try to produce another male offspring."

"And I'm back to being a piece of meat…" I say in a defeated tone.

The next thing I know, I feel my head being pressed against my mother's bust as she rubs my back and says to me, "You'll never be a piece of meat, you are something so valuable that the Queen is just being prudent to avoid conflict with another faction… your very existence is inviting conflict, you are something that isn't found in another other faction."

I sigh as I say, "I know Mom… but…"

She hushes me before she says, "I know, but remember, Mitchel, no matter whatever else happens, you are my son and I will love you no matter what."

I wrap my arms around my mother and squeeze her tightly as I say, "Thanks, Mom."

I rotate my head so I can look at her face, I see her smiling at me, but I can see that her eyes are watering as she says, "Hearing you call me that, is the best Christmas present I could as for."

I blink my red eyes a few times before it sinks in, Christmas was in two days… I'd been so wrapped up in everything else going on that I hadn't even thought about it. As my cheeks get hot my mother laughs as she says, "You haven't done any shopping have you?"

I shake my head from side to side and she sighs before telling me, "Then you and I will go shopping in the town we have set up."

"We have a town?" I ask as I lean back.

She nods as she says, "We do, we also get paid… Officially High Command wants us to be able to integrate into civilian life at some point, so we have a town that lets us practice how to be… well… human."

I make a noise that indicates that I hadn't expected that answer. She laughs as she stands, patting me on the shoulder as she says, "Well? Let's get going then."

I nod as I get off the couch and do up my jacket as we head to the door before I say, "So, what's the town like?"

My mother smiles as she says, "Mostly automated, you scan the item you want, and the funds are deducted from your account."

I bob my head as I say, "So not that different than back…" I sigh and change what I was going to say, "Not that different than what I experienced a lifetime ago."

XXXX

XXXX

It didn't take us that long to get to the little town, I looked around at the structures, it honestly looked like a town; roads, shops, and even a café had all been set up. I felt my mother place a hand on my shoulder and she asked, "Is there anyone you want to shop for?"

I shake my head as I say, "Honestly? I don't know, I know that I don't want to get something for Gneisenau on the very real chance the Queen decides I am to go to someone else."

She nods as she says, "I can understand that, it could be very awkward in the long run."

I sigh as I say to her, "It's strange, on one hand, I've gotten the one thing I always wanted growing up for Christmas this year, I got to meet my Mom. On the other, I have so much going on in my life now that I honestly don't know what to do."

She nods as she says, "As I said before, I got the most wonderful gift this year already myself, I've been given you again."

I smile at my mother and hug her as I say, "I love you, Mom."

"Love you too." She says as she returns the embrace and adds, "Let's go to the café for something to drink or snack on before we just look around."

As we start heading that way, a wonderful smell hits my nose and I turn to see where it's coming from, I see what looks like a food cart I'd see on the streets, I angle towards it as I say, "I'm going to grab something there."

I take the card I had been given and swipe It under a scanner at the cart moments before I see a little door open and a wrapped newsprint cone is there for me to take. Once I have it in hand, I grab a little wrap and take out some of the crispy fried fish and take a bite, instantly I feel like I'm back in the UK. I make a sound like I'm really enjoying this before I offer some of the cod to my mother as I say to her, "A taste of home."

With our fish and chips in hand, we head to the center of the town and lay down the package to open it up and enjoy the contents before heading off to explore some of the stores.

XXXX

XXXX

A/N: I know this was a shorter chapter, but I was having a hard time trying to stretch it out to the gala.