Edward is one conniving little creature.
Scowling down at this wispy and silky blue chiffon dress, I continue to throw mental insults at him. Manipulative, scheming, ignorant—
"Hello? Earth to Bella?"
My eyes snap up to Alice, who's motioning for me to try on the dress. She seems completely unfazed by my annoyance. "No."
"Bella—"
"Absolutely not." I mean to stomp my foot, a personification of me putting my foot down on the subject, but this poor excuse of a walking cast pulls my weight to the side as I lift my leg and I nearly lose my balance. Luckily, Alice steadies me before I fall.
"Watch your step," she warns. "We don't want you breaking the other one."
"It's not my fault," I whine petulantly. "This thing is like a car boot. I can hardly move in it."
"No need to fret," she sings. "You're in good hands. Now, would you put this on already?"
Rolling my eyes, I throw myself down on the chair and stick my foot out like a child who needs help tying her shoes. However, instead of pulling at laces, Alice unstraps all of the Velcro off of my boot and carefully removes it before helping me shimmy out of my jeans.
It's not long before she's got me into a pair of tights and begins fondling my boobs, trying to get them to fit into one of her push-up bras.
"I look ridiculous," I gripe.
"Calm down," she retorts. "No one's going to see it."
Challenging her with a raised brow, I ask, "Then, why does it matter?"
Alice ignores me by restrapping the protective cast over my leg and guides my arms through the sleeves of the dress.
"You know, you're a real pain to surprise," she mentions after my frown deepens.
"You're not surprising anyone," I scoff. "You think I don't know Edward plans to take me to the winter formal?"
"If you know, then why be so miserable?" It's not a jab at me, I can hear the integrity in her bell-like voice.
Still, even Alice's amicable presence isn't enough to make me less cranky. I sigh deeply and close my eyes in an attempt to close the subject.
"Normal girls your age would be ecstatic." I should've known it would take more than that for her to drop it.
"I'm not normal," I tell her again. "I don't think I want to be."
Alice is twisting my hair into a fancy updo and pauses, catching my gaze in the reflection of the mirror. "That's new." I don't know if that's in reference to the new style of my hair or the new discovery I seem to have made about myself. Either way, we smile at each other as she says, "I like it."
I can't be sure to say what exactly has changed, but I'm happy to find my mood has lifted slightly, giving me more patience to endure Alice's sharp pulls and tugs at my hair.
Shockingly, she doesn't spend too much time on my face—only commanding me to blink a few times to apply mascara as well as a brief swipe of gloss to my lips. Then, she allows me to stand, deeming me finished.
Before I leave the room, she jumps in front of me.
"Oh! Hang on!" She dashes out of the room and is back in front of me before I can finish blinking. "Almost forgot."
She's about to hand me a pair of ballet flats until she remembers I only need one, which I'm endlessly embarrassed about. I'm silently cursing my walking boot again as Alice walks me to the staircase.
"You're gorgeous," she says when she catches me glaring at my left leg. "Go on, he's waiting."
My stomach flutters anxiously, then. I cling desperately to the railing as I descend, but I'd be more inclined to blame that on my leg than my nerves.
Edward's slender figure slowly comes into view as I continue down the spiraling stairway. I'd never seen him dress in black before and I swallow thickly at how absolutely surreal he is. The white button down shirt just underneath his jacket contrasts dramatically with his pale skin and I know I'll never get used to how beautiful he is. Even if the fact that he's wearing a tuxedo makes me nervous.
When he gently lifts my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles, it's the coolness of his skin that shocks me out of my stupor.
"Hi," I breathe shakily.
"Hi." He interlaces our fingers and the corner of his mouth begins to curve into my favorite smile. "Are you still angry?"
It's hard to remember with his amber eyes smoldering at me and his hand running down my spine, sending involuntary shivers throughout my body. But somehow, I manage to squeak, "Yes."
Edward's torso shakes with silent laughter. "Well, why stop now, hm?"
Without another word, he guides me to the garage and helps me into the passenger seat, being very careful of the dress as well as my leg.
Taking advantage of the fraction of a second I have without Edward's intoxicating scent as he moves from my side of the car to the driver's seat, I force myself to sober up. "Is this all really necessary?"
He glances at me as if he were impressed. "I'm surprised you caught on so quickly."
"Come on," I say dubiously. "The dress was a dead giveaway. How is Charlie okay with this, anyway?"
He shrugs easily. "He thinks you're having a sleepover with Alice."
My jaw drops.
"What?" he asks innocently. "You've already lied to him about your vampire boyfriend. As well as your epilepsy and your accident in Arizona. What's one more?"
The guilt his words bring me ache more than I think he realizes. I look away from him in hopes that he doesn't notice the moisture pooling in my eyes.
Edward's hand squeezes my knee softly and I blink the tears away quickly. "Let's try to enjoy ourselves tonight."
"Yeah," I reply, but it comes out as more of a sigh. "Is your family coming too?"
"They're following us in Emmett's Jeep."
While I'm sure Rosalie plans on pretending I don't exist, I'm able to relax a bit more knowing there will be other familiar faces there.
Edward pulls into the lot and parks next to said Jeep, despite his claim that his family was supposed to be following us.
"Ready?"
I roll my eyes at him, though I secretly find his excitement to be adorable. "I guess."
Edward matches my pace without irritation as we slowly make our way to the gymnasium. Although I try to hurry as a cold gust of wind nips at the back of my neck, we're still moving at a slower pace than what I'm used to.
Once inside, I shudder gratefully at the heat and grin at Edward to signal that I'm alright. I'm fully prepared to hang out right here by the tables that are cluttered with snacks and drinks, but it seems Edward has other plans.
"Where are we going?" I don't know why I bother asking, it's clear he's taking me to the dance floor.
"What did we say about enjoying ourselves?" he answers.
"You are," I quip. There's barely enough time to take in the blue and silver theme they have all over the room. I'm barely dodging slippery confetti and balloons as he pulls me towards the center of the room. "What about me? I don't even know how to dance. At least not in a way that's acceptable for the public eye."
He chuckles. "It's all in the leading." Then, he lifts me just high enough to slide his feet under mine. "See?"
"I feel like I'm five years old." I try to sound reprimanding, but I find myself giggling.
"You don't look five." Edward slowly leans in, nudging the spot behind my ear with his nose and my breath hitches. "In fact, no one should look as tempting as you do right now. It's not fair."
I feel my face turn crimson red and Edward only laughs at my reaction as he continues to waltz effortlessly.
Alice catches my eye as we twirl and she smiles encouragingly at me. I smile back and find that I'm actually having fun.
"Maybe this isn't half bad," I admit.
"Told you." I'm waiting for him to rub it in some more, but his attention is aimed at the doors and he wears an expression halfway between focused and angry.
"What's wrong?" It's hard to stand on my tip toes, but eventually I find what's caught his interest. Jacob Black, not in a tux, but a slightly over-washed long sleeved white shirt and a too small tie around his neck. He's got his long black hair pulled back into a ponytail.
At first, I don't even recognize him. He's much taller than I remember and the lines in his shoulders make him seem like a totally different person. Then, I see how excruciatingly uncomfortable he is and can't help but send him an apologetic look.
"He wants to speak with you," Edward tells me and I accept the warning with gratitude. With his hands on me, I can't hear a single person in this room.
"I'll make it quick," I promise just as Jacob reaches us.
"Hey, Bella," Jacob greets. "I was hoping to find you here." Except, something about the way his voice raises at the end of that sentence makes me feel as though he means the exact opposite.
"Hey." I try to keep the concern out of my tone. "What's going on?"
Jacob glances to Edward, not needing to strain his neck at all to meet his eyes. "May I?"
As Edward hands me over, I'm doing mental math to count the inches he must've grown to meet Edward's height. All while preparing for Jacob's touch, of course.
His hands are significantly warmer than Edward's as he graciously places them on my waist while I raise my own to his shoulders. With some extra practice and a little help from Edward, Jacob's feelings don't flood my mind the same way they would have if we'd tried to do this a few months ago. Instead, it's a much more controlled flow of different ways he's considering to start a conversation.
"So, how tall are you now?" I ask, giving him a break from his mental battle.
He sighs in relief before shooting me a smug grin. "Six-two."
"Damn." I follow his lead and sway to the left and then the right. It's not exactly dancing, but it's as close as we'll ever get with my busted leg. "So, what brings you off the reservation?"
Jacob forces himself to laugh, but it's obvious he's uncomfortable with the whole idea. "Well…"
"It's okay," I encourage. "Just tell me."
"Okay," he sighs again. "So, did I ever tell you that I'm into cars?"
"No," I say, genuinely surprised. "Shouldn't you know how to drive them first?"
"Ha-ha." He scoffs at me, but I know he's grateful for the icebreaker. "Maybe I can't drive them, but I can build them."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah," he agrees. "When I have the free time and the parts."
"Are you working on something now?" I ask curiously.
He nods. "A nineteen eighty-six Volkswagen Rabbit."
"Oh." I try to seem like I know what he's talking about but he only laughs, my lack of knowledge written as clear as day on my forehead. "I mean, it sounds decent at least. But what does that have to do with why you're here? Don't get me wrong—I'm glad you came to see me, but…"
"Sure, sure." He laughs nervously again. "I get it. Um, my dad actually paid me to come. Twenty bucks."
Tugging at his poorly-adjusted tie jokingly, I say, "Well, for all the trouble you went through, I'd say he owes you more."
I can feel his fingers nervously tapping my sides. "That's the other thing. He's also buying me a master cylinder. It's the only part left I need to finish the Rabbit, so…"
"That's why you're here," I finish for him. "Okay, out with it then. What did he want you to tell me?"
Jacob looks down guiltily and balks at my leg. "Oh, God! I forgot to ask, how are you doing?"
I smack his shoulder playfully. "I'm fine! Quit stalling."
He groans quietly, knowing he's been caught. "Please don't get mad, Bella."
"I swear."
Jacob nods, clearing his throat. "Okay, here goes." Then as if it were all one word, he mumbles quickly, "Hewantsyoutobreakupwithyourboyfriend."
I catch Edward's expression from across the floor. Now that he's farther away, he doesn't bother trying to keep the anger from distorting his face.
"Yeah." Jacob shuffles his feet, not needing me to respond to understand what I'm thinking. "He kind of freaked out once we heard you'd hurt yourself in Phoenix. He thinks that—"
"I know." I didn't want to hear their accusations spoken aloud. "I know it's hard for everyone to believe—"
"I believe you," he interjects and I smile appreciatively at him, because I know he's telling the truth.
Still, I stress to him, "It really was just a freak accident. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Edward. And make sure to tell you father that, too."
"Right." There's a sort of finality to his tone and I frown when he removes his hands from my waist.
"You don't have to leave," I say. "Billy made you come all the way out here—the least he could do is let you have a little fun."
"Nah." Jacob flashes a bright, toothy grin at me. "I've got a Rabbit to finish, remember?"
"Yeah." I try to smile back, but the idea that Billy possibly knows more than he should unsettles me. "Maybe next time."
I lose sight of Jacob once Edward surprises me with his cold hands. Their temperature is so drastic compared to the warmth I'd felt only moments ago and jump slightly at the shock.
I'm worried I'll find the anger still there in his eyes, but I'm relieved to find a smirk there instead.
"What do you say to moving somewhere a little more private?"
I let him take my hand as I nod. "Sure."
Edward takes us toward the back exit where I know the courtyard will be. Outside, someone's set up multiple heaters around the gazebo to offer some extra heat against the bitter weather.
They've decorated them with the same blue and silver theme as inside and have hidden all the cigarette burns and graffiti with silky tapestries. I'm too busy admiring the decor, I almost don't notice Angela and Ben standing there.
The second I see her staring at me, she drags Ben with her in the opposite direction, towards the gymnasium.
My right hand raises slightly and I feel her name on the tip of my tongue, ready to call out to her, but something stops me. What happens after I stop her? What am I supposed to say? Or do?
"Hey." Edward pulls gently at my arm, guiding me the rest of the way. "It's alright. She'll forgive you."
"I don't know about that." Edward lifts me on top of his feet again. "You heard what she said in the hospital. She's done with me."
"She's angry, sure." His thumb swipes at a tear I hadn't realized had fallen down my cheek. "But she'll get over it."
I shake my head. "No, I don't think so. But maybe it doesn't have to be for nothing."
Edward tilts his head in confusion. "How do you mean?"
"Well, I've had a lot of time to reflect recently," I begin. "Angela hates me and as much as that hurts, it's to keep her safe."
He nods slowly, still not understanding where I'm getting at.
"And I made the same choice with Charlie. I let him think that going to Phoenix was his idea. To protect him."
"It was the right thing to do," Edward insists.
"I know," I say, "I never thought it wasn't."
Edward pauses to place a chaste kiss to my forehead. "Why don't you tell me what you're afraid to tell me."
I sigh deeply. "I don't want you to be angry with me."
"Why would I be angry?"
My teeth nibble on the inside of my lip as I contemplate putting my thoughts into words. "Back in Phoenix, I was terrified of James. He was completely ruthless and he was toying with me and I fell right into his hands."
"You don't have to worry about—"
"Let me finish," I interrupt. "Please."
He nods. "Alright."
"But now that I've had time to process, I wonder what it'd be like, had you let the venom spread."
Edward's eyes are darkening by the second, but he allows me to continue.
"James said my abilities would make for an amazing vampire."
He surprises me by laughing aloud. The kind that makes you throw your head back and cackle. "And what, you thought I sucked his venom out just so I could have the satisfaction of doing it myself? You thought that called for a black-tie event?"
"No." I glare at him. "It's not funny."
"You're right, it's not," he agrees, "but I was hoping you were joking."
"I'm serious."
Edward stills and places me firmly on the ground. "You don't know what you're asking."
I dislike the anger I see slowly filling his eyes and even more, I hate that I see him directing it at me. "I think I do, Edward."
"No, clearly you don't!"
"I have no control over my abilities," I begin to list off, surprising myself as well as him, "everyone at school thinks I'm a lunatic—I struggle everyday not to out myself! If you were to change me, I could be stronger, more controlled—"
"And that's where you're wrong!" Edward's eyes are nearly black now. "You think you'll find security in your abilities, and maybe that's true. But you'd only be trading one loose cannon for another. You think you'll be able to put yourself within ten miles of another human without wanting to suck them dry?"
"I'll have you," I answer easily. "And Alice and Jasper—all of you! You'll teach me." I'd break our contact if his touch wasn't the only thing that kept me from being ambushed by the thoughts and feelings of the entire school. "Do you wish Carlisle hadn't saved you?"
"Don't make this about—!" Edward stops halfway through to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You still have so much to live for! My life was over, Bella."
"If you're waiting for my time to be up, I hate to break it to you, but it was up long before I'd even met you!"
Edward's face is still contorted with frustration and desperation, but what I've said is enough to make him pause.
"That car crash from a year ago had me nearly dead," I continue. "In fact, I was dead. For five minutes. There was no reason for me to come back."
"But you did."
"Exactly." My agreement has him confused and I go on before he can say anything else. "Have you ever thought about why? The reason I came back?"
I take Edward's silence as permission to carry on.
"What if I was meant to be here in this moment?" I raise my hand and allow my thumb to trace his marbled cheekbones. "With you?"
The faintest of smiles pulls at his lips. "You've been doing a lot of thinking, hm?"
I smile back, relieved to see the anger leave his face. Most of it, anyway. "It's finally come full circle for me. I feel like I finally understand. Don't you see?"
Edward sighs and I'm sure he's ready to give up the fight when he says, "And the pain?"
His question staggers me. The scar on my wrist throbs at the idea of reliving that excruciating torment again. My hesitation is too great to go unnoticed. Still, I say with as much force as I can, "I'll handle it."
He's nice enough not to call me out on it, though I know he saw the fear in my face. Instead, he says quietly, "You're ready to give this up so easily? You're ready for this to be the end?"
"No." I take a step, pulling him closer to me. "I'm ready for this to be the beginning."
He exhales slowly, his cool breath tickling my nose. "I don't think so."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see another couple making their way out to the gazebo, effectively ending our discussion. "So, where does that leave us?"
Suddenly, his eyes brighten. "I believe it's called an impasse."
I roll my eyes into his chest as he pulls me back on top of his feet. "Impasse?"
"An impasse," he repeats as if it's supposed to sit better the second time. "Can't we go back to enjoying our night? Before you so rudely interrupted."
"Oh, we're not finished," I say firmly. "You didn't think I'd let it go, did you?"
"Well," he starts tactfully, "with you, I'm learning nothing goes without a fight."
I can't help but chuckle. "I'd say you're finally catching on."
We dance quietly for a few moments before a horrifying realization comes over me and I lift my head to meet his gaze.
Edward seems to pick up on my anxiety. "What is it?"
"I never told you."
He holds me tighter. "Told me what?"
"Back at the ballet studio," I begin, ignoring how his eyes darken again, "you didn't hear me, but I was trying to talk to you, but I was outside of my body."
His hand comes up to cradle the side of my face. "You're making me nervous, Bella."
My eyes soften and I smile, but it does nothing to ease his worry. "I was trying to say I love you too. I can't believe I waited this long to say it out loud."
"Oh, Bella." He pulls me back into his chest and though his skin is cold, I've never felt warmer than I do now. "I know you do."
"Still," I say, my voice muffled in his chest. "It's nice to hear it, isn't it?"
He nods slowly. "You're right. Can you say it again?"
We both laugh then, louder than the situation calls for, but it feels good. I pull away from his frame to catch his amber eyes.
"I love you, Edward Cullen."
Edward leans down, capturing my lips with his and I feel my heart pound beneath my ribs so fiercely, I'm sure he can feel its erratic rhythm. "And I love you, Isabella Swan."
A/N: So here we are. The end. Finally! It feels so good to have this off of my chest. I do want to take a little bit of time here to reflect, if y'all don't mind.
This storyline has been playing with me for so long and to be honest I never thought I'd ever write it, so I'm kind of having an epiphany here as I type this. This fic was my first project in years that I've worked on and I was super nervous when I started, because I was convinced that my writing was terrible and I'd never have the time or motivation to actually finish it. Yet here we are!
Now that it's finished and officially behind me, I think I can say that my writing still is not and never will be perfect, but I'm proud of the progress I've made. I want to continue developing my style and improve on some aspects that I know I hold an area of opportunity. That being said, I think if and when I decide to rewrite New Moon, I'll use that project to improve on some of the mistakes I've made here.
For example, with Hereditary, I still hadn't finished the fic before I began posting chapters. This is something I've always done, even when I was a child and it's purely due to impatience and excitement. I just get so antsy and I want people to read it and I think that also helps with my lack of motivation. I get tuckered out easily and I feel it's easier to keep pushing when I have people asking me to continue. But I think I'm also shooting myself in the foot when I do this. Should I ever stumble upon a "Eureka!" or even just something simple I could change to help develop the story, I can't, because the chapter has already been posted. So, I think with New Moon, should I decide I want to pursue that project, I'll make sure to have the entire fic finished before I even begin to post.
Okay, enough self analyzing. Let me take the time to thank you guys so so much. Honestly, you may not know, but this project truly means so much to me. It's jumpstarted my writing again, something I haven't done in so long. You seriously have no idea how much appreciation I have for taking the time to see this thing through. It's so bittersweet, marking this as complete. It truly has been a journey to self discovery. At least for me.
So, again, thank you all so much. Thank you for reminding me how much I love to write. Tell me your thoughts, now that you've finished it! And what was your favorite part? Is there anything you're looking forward to? Let me know in the reviews! You guys are truly the best! :)
