Wednesday, March 9, 1977
"Fuck today," Sirius growled as he dropped his bag onto the floor and collapsed into his armchair. "Fuck this entire bloody day."
"That bad?" Mary asked sympathetically from her seat across from him. "I don't suppose you want to do homework, then?"
"Absolutely not." Sirius rested his head against the back of his chair and let his eyes drift shut for a moment. "I don't think I could even manage it right now, to be honest. I can hardly think with this bloody headache." He sighed and rubbed his temples slowly.
"I'm sorry, although I can't say I'm surprised. I don't think I've ever seen you that drunk. Which is saying something, because, well, it's you." She smiled apologetically and brushed a lock of hair out of her face.
Sirius opened his eyes and frowned at her. "Did I see you last night, then?" He tried to piece together the jumbled, painful memories of last night, but he could not remember any interaction with Mary.
"You don't remember?" she asked. "Well, I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Like I said, you were drunk off your arse - you could barely even stand. I helped James bring you up to bed, because Lupin and Pettigrew were down at dinner." She laughed softly. "I almost fell and broke my neck, because you decided to sit down with absolutely no warning and almost took me with you, but I survived, so no harm done."
"Fuck, I'm sorry," Sirius said, heaving another sigh. "I had a pretty rough afternoon. Getting drunk seemed like the only logical solution."
"I know," Mary said. "You told me."
"Of course I did." Sirius shook his head in disgust, then grimaced as it increased the pounding in his head. "What exactly did I say?" He bit his lip, dreading her answer; yesterday he had achieved the precise level of drunkenness that made him want to reveal thoughts and feelings he would not usually even let himself think about consciously, and he hated to think what he might have told Mary in this vulnerable state of mind.
"There's no need to look like that," Mary said, correctly reading his expression of trepidation. "You didn't say anything embarrassing. You just kind of looked at me funny and said, 'I'm sad, Macdonald,' so I asked why, and you told me about how your brother told you about your uncle dying, and how he doesn't reckon you should go to the funeral but you're going to anyway because, well, because you're you." She grinned, then her face turned serious again. "And you told me how you and James had a heart to heart, and you were saying what a good mate he is, which was very sweet, and quite accurate, as he'd basically just carried you all the way across the grounds and up to the common room. And then you said something about the Cannons, but you sort of stopped making sense at that point, so I didn't really catch that bit."
Sirius smiled faintly. "My uncle was a Cannons supporter. That's why I started supporting them. He took me to see them when I was little. It was my first ever Quidditch game. They lost - I know, big surprise. But it's still a good memory." He stared moodily into the fire, watching the flames slowly devouring the logs, and didn't speak for a few minutes. When he finally shook himself from his reverie, he glanced at Mary and found that she had been watching him, her expression slightly apprehensive.
"Sorry, I'm being a bit of a moody git, aren't I?" he asked.
"Nah, you're all right," she replied. "Do you want to go to the prefects' bathroom and get drunk? It really cheered me up when I was having a bad day."
He shook his head. "I can't. I've got to go serve detention with McGonagall later for skipping her class yesterday. I can't turn up drunk." He returned his gaze to the fire. "Besides, I don't think I want to be cheered up, if that makes sense."
Mary wrapped a curl around and around her finger thoughtfully. "Yeah, I understand that," she replied. "What do you want to do, then?"
Sirius stared silently into the fire for a moment before answering. "I think I'd like to take a fucking nap, to be honest." He hesitated. "If you want to stay down here and do your homework, or, you know, whatever else, go for it, but if you'd like to come take a nap with me, that would be all right too." He stared determinedly into the fire, afraid this suggestion would be seen as a violation of their agreement, but to his surprise he found his view of the fire obstructed by Mary's body as she offered him a hand up.
"Come on, let's go take a nap, then," she said, helping him to his feet.
When they reached the common room, Sirius tugged off his boots and tossed them unceremoniously onto the floor, then threw back the covers and crawled into bed, not bothering to remove his clothes. Mary stripped down into her underclothes and slid into bed next to him, curling into his body and resting her head on his chest.
"I'm sorry, Black," she murmured, draping her leg over his and trying to keep her hair from tickling his face.
"Don't be sorry," he replied, kissing the top of her head gently. "You're helping." He exhaled, feeling some of the tension and sadness leaving his body as he relaxed into the familiar warmth of his bed and the even more familiar warmth of Mary's body against his. He felt an almost irresistible urge to say more, but found he could not find the words to express what he was feeling, so instead he pulled her closer to him and let himself drift to sleep, momentarily escaping from his problems and his pain.
Saturday, March 19, 1977
"I'm bored," Sirius remarked, scowling across the room at a pair of third years arguing loudly over a game of gobstones. "Let's do something."
"Want to play chess?" Peter suggested, but Sirius laughed mirthlessly.
"Do I look like I'm in the mood to play fucking chess?" he said, rolling his eyes.
"How about Exploding Snap?" Remus asked, but Sirius shook his head.
"Want to sneak into Hogsmeade?" James offered, glancing around surreptitiously and lowering his voice so nobody would overhear.
"Nah, too much work," Sirius replied. "I don't feel like walking all the way there."
After Sirius shot down several more suggestions, the other three Marauders gave up and continued on with their night. Peter and James played several games of chess and Remus immersed himself in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes while Sirius glowered into the fire and sipped from his flask.
"Hi," Mary said, stepping through the portrait hole with Lily close behind her and joining the Marauders by the fire. She leaned against the arm of Sirius's chair and took in his grumpy expression. "What are you lot up to?"
"Sitting around doing bloody nothing," Sirius replied, taking a swig from his flask and glaring at his friends. "I'm bored off my arse, and nobody wants to do anything."
Peter opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediately after Remus nudged him and cleared his throat. Mary glanced at James, and they shared a meaningful look.
"Would you like to come up to the Astronomy Tower with me?" Mary asked, keeping her tone light. "We can throw dungbombs, or snog, or smoke while you falsely identify constellations, whatever you like."
Sirius glanced at her, then shook his head. "No, I don't think so."
Mary continued, undeterred. "Want to go up to your dormitory, then?" She leaned in to murmur into his ear. "I got new lace knickers. I think you'll like them. Or if you don't, that's fine too, I'll just take them off." She rested her hand on his inner thigh, but he brushed it away.
"Give it a rest, Macdonald," he muttered, glancing at her with a disdainful expression before returning to staring dully into the fire.
Mary shrugged, realizing any further attempts to distract Sirius from his foul mood would be a complete waste of time. "All right, suit yourself," she replied, straightening and tossing back her hair before heading for the portrait hole again. "See you later," she called over her shoulder before exiting the common room.
"Where's she off to, then?" Sirius asked, slightly surprised by her sudden departure.
"She's meeting Eddie Edgecombe," Lily said from her spot on the floor in front of the fire. She had pulled a book from her bag and had it open to a marked page, but did not begin reading. "We ran into him in the library earlier, and they made plans to meet up."
"What does she want with him?" James asked, frowning. "He's the worst player on the Ravenclaw team, and that's saying something, seeing as they only have one good player to begin with."
"I don't think she's meeting up with him to discuss Quidditch plays," Lily pointed out, glancing sideways at Sirius. "They were going to meet in that unused classroom on the second floor."
"So why was she badgering me to do something, if she had plans anyway?" Sirius asked, pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket and slowly shredding it into tiny pieces. "What, was she trying to make me jealous or something? She knows I don't give a shit what she does. If she wants to be a bloody tart, what do I care?"
"Don't be stupid, of course she wasn't trying to make you jealous," Lily snapped. "She was going to ditch Edgecombe if you hadn't blown her off like a complete prat."
"Leave him alone, Evans," James warned, his eyes darting to Sirius and back, but Sirius held up a hand.
"No, Prongs, if she wants to have a go at me, that's fine. You don't all have to bloody tiptoe around me like I'm going to lose it at any second." He tossed the shredded bits of parchment into the fire and stood, turning to face Lily. "Now, go on, Evans. If you think I'm a prat, just say so."
"All right," she said, also standing and squaring up to Sirius. He had at least six inches on her, but with her hands on her hips and her green eyes blazing, she managed to look rather intimidating. "I do think you're being a prat."
"Oh yeah?" Sirius replied, his voice rising. "Why's that?"
"Because you've been treating your friends like shit all week, when they've just been trying to help."
"I have not-" Sirius began, but Lily spoke over him.
"Yes you bloody have, don't give me that rubbish! Last night you about took Remus's head off when he asked if you wanted to get a snack from the kitchens."
"It doesn't matter. Really, it's fine," Remus said quickly, but Lily shook her head.
"No it's not fine! And then the day before that you knocked Peter's entire chess board onto the floor when he beat you-"
"He fixed the piece that broke!" Peter said in an almost pleading tone, watching Sirius's expression anxiously. "I don't care."
"Well I care," Lily insisted. "And now Mary comes around to try to take your mind off things, but you brush her aside, then get annoyed when she goes off with another bloke."
"I wasn't annoyed," Sirius protested.
"Yes you bloody were!" Lily shot back. "You called her a tart, and she's been a good friend to you and deserves better than that. Just because you're having a hard time does not give you the right to take it out on other people."
"Evans, for fuck's sake!" James interjected. "Lay off, will you?"
"It's fine, I'm leaving anyway," Sirius said, stalking across the common room and out the portrait hole. They heard a muffled thump and a cry of outrage, then caught Sirius's voice shouting, "Oh, fuck off, you old hag."
"You don't think he punched the portrait, do you?" Remus asked.
"Must have done," James sighed, running a hand through his hair in irritation. "Bloody idiot, now she's not going to let him back in, I'll bet she's furious." He rounded on Lily. "Why did you have to shout at him like that? His uncle just died! And there was a huge row at the funeral. He's a fucking mess."
"I know, and I feel badly, I really do," Lily replied. "But that doesn't excuse his behavior. Like he said, I'm not going to sit here and tiptoe around him like the rest of you. If he's being a miserable arsehole, I'm going to say so, and if he's going to react to that by storming off and punching an innocent portrait, that's his problem, not mine." She sat back down and opened her book, but after a moment she glanced up again and frowned. "Aren't you going after him?"
James met her gaze and widened his eyes slightly. "Not now," he said darkly. "I'd say he needs at least a half hour to cool down. But if you think you know better than me, by all means, go ahead." He gestured at the portrait hole, but Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"No, no, you're the Sirius Black expert," she replied loftily before returning to her book.
Almost an hour later, James glanced at his watch, then set down his Exploding Snap cards and stood.
"All right, I'm off. See you lot in a bit." He started for the portrait hole, but stopped when Lily called out to him.
"Hang on! Do you think I should - that is, would it be helpful if I came with you?" She hesitated for a fraction of a second. "I suppose I could apologize."
James shook his head. "Definitely not. That would be a disaster." He grinned when he noticed the aggrieved expression on Lily's face. "No offense. I mean, it's nice of you to offer, it's just best if I go alone." He returned to their spot in front of the fire and picked up his discarded Exploding Snap cards.
"Here," he said, handing them to Lily. "You play in my place. Take a break from reading for a bit and do something fun, yeah?"
"Reading is fun," she protested, but he made no reply, already halfway to the portrait hole.
The Marauder's Map was tucked away in James's trunk, but he did not need it to locate Sirius. There were several spots within the castle and grounds where Sirius liked to escape to, but James had a feeling that tonight his friend had fled to the Astronomy Tower. When he finally reached the top of the tower staircase, he pulled open the heavy door and stepped out into the chilly evening air. At first the tower appeared empty, and James spent a few moments running through all the other possible locations he would need to check. He spotted the burning tip of a cigarette and a curl of smoke before he noticed his friend stretched out flat on his back and staring up at the starry expanse of sky.
"Hullo, Prongs," Sirius said, keeping his eyes fixed upward.
"Hey," James replied, sprawling out on the cold stone next to Sirius.
Wordlessly, Sirius offered him the pack of cigarettes, but James waved them away. Sirius returned them to his pocket, and pulled out the flask, which James accepted. They lay there without speaking for a few minutes; the night was silent except for the rustle of leaves blowing in the wind and the occasional slosh of the liquid in the flask as the two boys drank. Finally, Sirius sighed and ground out his cigarette.
"I'm an insufferable git," he remarked, glancing over at James for the first time.
"Nah, you're not," James replied, grinning.
"I am," Sirius insisted. "I've been that way for the past week, and it's not fair to you and Moony and Wormtail, when you've just been trying to cheer me up. It's not your fault that my uncle had to go and die, and my mother decided to start a row at the bloody funeral, and I can't manage to have a normal conversation with anyone without shouting or storming off." He sighed and lit another cigarette. "And then here comes Evans, all fired up and self-righteous and shouting at me in front of the entire common room."
"She was out of line, mate," James said.
"No, she wasn't," Sirius argued. " That's the thing. I can't even feel properly angry at her because she's right. She's right, and she's the only one who has the stones to to call me out and tell me I'm being a fucking arsehole." He took a long drag on his cigarette. "I'm just... Fuck, I'm so bloody angry all the time."
"I know," James said, glancing over at him.
"Why am I like this?" Sirius asked, taking a large gulp from the flask.
James paused, considering. "Well, you have rather a lot to be angry about," he said fairly.
"But I'm not the only one who has shit going on," Sirius persisted. "I mean, look at Moony. He has more reason to be angry than any of us, but yet he manages to go through life without punching the damn Fat Lady."
"That was rather inadvisable," James admitted. "Remember the last time you offended her, when we were drunk and she'd left her portrait and we had to wait for ages?"
"Oh, yeah, and I asked if she'd been out shagging Sir Cadogan," Sirius said, chuckling. "And then we wanted to know if portraits can actually shag."
"She never answered us, did she?" James mused. "Pity. I'd still like to know."
"Me too." Sirius grinned. "She did say the next time I was even the slightest bit disrespectful she was going to teach me a lesson and not let me into the common room. I suppose I deserve that."
"We could sneak you in under the Cloak," James suggested.
"Nah, that's all right. I'll probably stay out here a while longer. Maybe by the time I go back she'll have cooled down a bit," Sirius replied. He took another drag on his cigarette, enjoying the sense of calm created by the nicotine in his bloodstream and the brisk night air on his face.
"Want me to stay out here with you for a while?" James asked.
"That's okay," Sirius replied. "I want to be alone for a bit." He glanced over at James and grinned. "Besides, you're freezing your arse off."
"Well, you're not wrong about that," James said. He stood and stretched, his limbs stiff after laying on the cold stone. "You all right, then?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Prongs." Sirius felt there was more to say; the words caught in the back of his throat, heavy and cumbersome. He cleared his throat and tried to force out something coherent. "I, well, I feel like I should..." he began, but his voice trailed off.
"I know," James said simply, taking one last sip from the flask before setting it down next to Sirius. "I'll see you in a bit."
Sirius put out his cigarette and tucked his arms behind his head. His gaze remained fixed on the night sky above him. The solitude and silence of the night had soothed his volatile emotions, and yet he felt that once he returned to the noisy common room and his friends' well-meaning but infuriating efforts to distract him, he might fly off the handle again at the slightest provocation. He sighed and took another sip from the flask, hoping the firewhisky could somehow burn away the anger that lurked just below the surface.
When he had drained the last drops from the flask and his back had begun to ache from the uneven stone, Sirius rose and made his way back to the common room. As he approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, he wondered briefly if she would allow him to enter the portrait hole, but then his attention was diverted when he noticed Mary approaching from the opposite direction.
"Hello, Macdonald," he said, pausing in front of the Fat Lady.
"Oh, hi," Mary replied, eyeing him uncertainly.
"How was your evening with Eddie Edgecombe?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking at her.
Mary shrugged. "It was all right," she said evasively.
"It didn't blow your fucking mind, then?"
She rolled her eyes. "Are you ever going to stop bragging about that, you arrogant prat?"
Sirius pretended to consider for a moment. "No, probably not," he answered, before reaching over and tugging playfully at her shirt. "You've missed a button, by the way."
Mary looked down at her shirt and hastily did up the neglected button, meeting his gaze without embarrassment. "So what have you been up to?" she asked. "And should we go into the common room, rather than just standing outside like a couple of idiots?"
"You're welcome to go in once you give the password," the Fat Lady said primly. "However, he is not allowed in until he can learn to control his temper and act in a way that befits a Gryffindor."
"Merlin, Black, what did you do?" Mary asked, snorting with laughter.
"Here, sit down and I'll tell you," Sirius said, sprawling out on the floor a little ways away from the Fat Lady with his back resting against the wall.
Mary joined him, and Sirius immediately launched into a spirited account of the disagreement with Lily. By the end of the story, Mary had her hand pressed against her mouth in a fruitless attempt to suppress her laughter.
"I can't believe I missed that!" she choked out. "Merlin, I love seeing Lily get all fired up and tear someone a new arsehole." She glanced sideways at Sirius. "I mean, sorry to laugh at your misery, as I know it's not exactly fun to be on the receiving end of one of her tirades, but, well…" Her voice trailed off.
"But I deserved it," Sirius finished for her, grinning.
"Maybe a bit," she admitted.
"Come on, let's have a cigarette before we go in," Sirius suggested, leading the way to the nearest window and wrenching it open. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and selected two, handing one to Mary and lighting his own. He leaned against the wall as they smoked, blowing the smoke out the window and keeping an ear out for the sound of an approaching teacher or prefect.
"Thanks for, you know, trying to take my mind off everything," Sirius said, watching the smoke from his cigarette drift out the window. "And even though I acted like an arse, it really does help, so please don't give up on trying to cheer me up, even though I can't promise I won't act like an arse again next time." He glanced at her, his expression uncharacteristically open and vulnerable.
"Yeah, all right," she agreed, exhaling a stream of smoke into the night and studying his face.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry for brushing you off," Sirius went on. "It's just, I dunno, how I deal with things, I suppose."
"I know," she said, reaching over and touching his shoulder gently for a moment. "It's all right."
They smoked in silence for another minute, then ground out their cigarettes and flicked them out the window.
"All right, we're going to trick the Fat Lady into letting me in," Sirius said, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "You give the password, and I'll pretend I'm going to keep walking past, but I'll just follow you before she has time to swing shut."
"Okay," Mary agreed, chuckling.
The two strolled over to the Fat Lady and paused.
"Guess I'll just take a walk, then," Sirius said. "Maybe you'll take pity on me when I come back?"
"We'll see," said the Fat Lady stiffly.
"I'll see you later then," Mary said, glancing at Sirius before turning back to the Fat Lady to give the password. "Flapdoodle."
The Fat Lady swung forward to admit Mary. She stepped in, then Sirius darted in after her. The two heard an indignant cry from the Fat Lady as they stumbled laughing into the common room.
"She's going to hate you after this," Mary observed.
"Most likely," Sirius agreed, sounding unconcerned. "Come on, let's see if they'll look past my dramatic behavior and play a game of Exploding Snap with us."
Monday, March 21, 1977
Students filtered out of the Great Hall after lunch, jostling each other and chatting as they made their way to class. Sirius let their voices wash over him, but he barely heard anything going on around him. Recently he had been having trouble staying focused, finding his mind drifting away and only returning when his friends called his name and jarred him back to the present. His hand was almost constantly clenched into a fist, and he felt an undercurrent of anger simmering just under the surface and threatening to burst forth at the slightest provocation.
Today, the slightest provocation came in the form of Avery and Mulciber lounging against the door of a classroom. Sirius scowled at them, the force of his anger almost tangible. Avery noticed Sirius's gaze and nudged Mulciber.
"What the fuck are you looking at, Black?" Avery asked, raising an eyebrow defiantly.
"Slytherin scum," Sirius replied, drawing to a stop in front of them.
"That's rich, coming from you," Mulciber said. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" Sirius demanded.
James, Remus, and Peter had stopped next to Sirius, and they shot each other anxious looks.
"It means you're blood traitor trash, and you surround yourself with blood traitor trash," Mulciber replied, nodding at James, Remus, and Peter.
"I'd rather be a blood traitor than delude myself into thinking that being pureblood makes me better than everyone else," Sirius retorted, his voice rising as his anger bubbled up inside of him, begging to be unleashed. "You and the rest of the fucking Death Eaters in training, walking around the school like you're hot shit - it's pathetic."
Mary, noticing the telltale signs of impending disaster, stopped and murmured to James, "What's going on?"
"I'd get out of here, Macdonald," James advised her. "I don't see this ending well, and you don't need to get caught in the middle."
The warning came too late, however, as Mulciber's beady eyes fell upon Mary and a cruel smile spread over his face.
"What's pathetic is how low you're willing to stoop for a shag," he said, eyeing Mary. "That Mudblood will fuck anything that walks. Even you could do better, Black, and that's saying something."
Sirius reacted without considering the repercussions of his actions, without any strategizing or planning, without any semblance of conscious thought whatsoever. One moment he was standing there, listening to Mulciber spew hateful words about Mary, and the next he had drawn his wand and was shouting a hex without even knowing which hex was going to come out of his mouth. Mulciber was not expecting the attack and made no attempt to block, so he was blasted off his feet and into Avery, causing a mild commotion in the corridor.
"What are you doing, Black?" Mary asked, her eyes bright with a mixture of fear and anger. "I don't need you to get into a duel to defend me. It's not bloody worth it."
"Get out of it, Macdonald," Sirius spat, pushing her out of the way as Mulciber retaliated; the spell narrowly missed them, hitting the wall behind them instead. "Let me handle this." He aimed another hex at Mulciber, who managed to block this time.
Avery stood beside Mulciber, looking ready to provide backup if needed. James sighed but stood his ground and drew his own wand, as Remus and Peter hung back. Remus wore an anxious frown, but Peter seemed exhilarated by the conflict.
Mulciber, now bleeding from a cut on his temple, shot a hex at Sirius, who only just managed to block it. Before he could respond, he felt his wand fly out of his hand. He looked at Mulciber in confusion, but realized the Slytherin was also wandless. Some distant part of his brain registered McGonagall's voice calling his name, but he paid no attention and acted purely on impulse, launching himself at Mulciber and punching him squarely in the face. He got in two more punches before Mulciber reacted, landing a punch to the side of Sirius's face that he barely felt due to the coursing through his body. Slightly off-balance, he attempted to land another punch, but found himself suddenly unable to move. A moment later, McGonagall stepped into his line of vision, her mouth set in a thin, tight line and her eyes boring into him.
"I am going to release you, gentlemen, on the condition that you do no further harm to each other. Is that understood?"
As neither boy could speak or even nod, they both simply blinked at her, and she seemed to consider this tacit assent, because she muttered the counterspell and Sirius immediately felt his body relax as he regained freedom of movement. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood glaring at Mulciber, noting with satisfaction that the Slytherin sported the beginnings of a black eye and several cuts.
"Mr. Mulciber, please report to Professor Slughorn so he can deal with you accordingly. Mr. Black, come with me," McGonagall said, setting off for her office without waiting for a response. Sirius followed, absently wiping away the blood that trickled into his eye. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he felt the start of a pounding headache as well as the familiar throbbing of bruised knuckles, but this only added to his sense of grim satisfaction. He had released some of his pent up anger, and he relished the feeling of relief, despite the unintended consequences. When they reached McGonagall's office, Sirius followed her inside, feeling no trace of fear or anxiety, but merely a sense of resignation. He would accept whatever punishment she dealt out, and it would be worth it, just for the memory of how Mulciber's jaw felt colliding with his fist.
"Sit down, Mr. Black," McGonagall commanded, but Sirius remained standing, and after a moment, McGonagall merely shrugged and sat down behind her desk. "Please explain yourself."
Sirius studied his bruised and bloodied knuckles as he pondered her request. "Don't know that there's much to explain, Professor," he said finally. "I reckon someone as smart as you can figure it out."
"Save the smart comments, Black," she snapped. "I'd like to know why you would ever think it was a good idea to start a duel in the middle of the corridor, and then resort to fighting with your fists when I took your wand away?"
"To be honest, there wasn't much thought involved," Sirius admitted. "I just sort of went for it." He frowned. "Why would you assume I started it?"
She sighed. "Is my assumption incorrect?"
Sirius smiled wryly. "Okay, fair enough." His smile turned to an expression of indignation. "But he was saying horrible things about Macdonald! I'm glad I punched him. He fucking deserved it."
"Language, Black," McGonagall said, her voice calm. "You need to learn that violence is not the solution to every problem."
"Oh, I know that," Sirius replied. "Sometimes the solution is a bottle of firewhisky."
She fixed him with a disdainful stare, but did not comment on this statement. Instead she sighed again and said, "Sirius, you have a lot of talent."
Her voice had softened slightly, and Sirius noticed she had used his first name, which he couldn't remember her ever doing before. He stopped flexing his battered fingers and gave her his full attention.
"You also have a lot of anger. All things considered, I think your anger is quite understandable. However, you have to learn how to channel it, to control it rather than letting it control you, otherwise you'll get yourself into a lot of trouble - and I'm not talking about losing house points or getting detentions." She fixed him with a stern gaze, and he thought he detected a note of worry in her eyes. "Do you understand?"
Sirius tried to consider the implications of her statement, but he kept hearing Mulciber's sneering voice calling Mary a Mudblood, hearing the sound of his knuckles slamming into Mulciber's face, feeling the whoosh of Multiber's hex barely missing them, so he nodded simply to dispel that look of concern from her face.
"Very well. I'll see you for detention tonight, and Wednesday night as well, and you'll lose fifty points for Gryffindor. Now kindly head to the hospital wing, Black. You're bleeding on my carpet." She gestured at the red droplets now dotting the threadbare carpet.
"Right. Er, thanks, Professor," he said, not quite sure what he was thanking her for, but feeling it was appropriate nonetheless. He then turned and left her office, swiping carelessly at his bleeding face to try to prevent it from dripping onto his jacket. He headed not for the hospital wing but for Potions, deciding his injuries were minor enough to handle on his own. He was just descending the staircase to the dungeons when he spotted Mary lurking outside the Potions classroom.
"What are you doing down here?" he asked.
"Waiting for you," she replied, her expression hard to read. "I have a free period since I gave up Potions. Best decision I ever made, by the way."
Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, are you here to tell me off or thank me?"
She smiled ruefully. "I honestly don't know. On one hand, I'm bloody furious about what you did. When you react that way, you're just showing them that they got to you. Why give them the satisfaction, you know? And even worse, you basically picked that fight with them, then goaded Mulciber into coming back to fight you." She sighed. "But on the other hand, nobody's ever stuck up for me quite so enthusiastically, and even though I think it was a fucking stupid, reckless thing to do, I appreciate it anyway."
Sirius grinned. "Well, I'm not going to apologize, because I stand by what I did 100%, and honestly I wish I could have got in a few more good punches before McGonagall stopped me, but I guess I'll take what I can get." He studied her for a moment, noticing the way her curls fell into her face and hid the eyes that revealed her emotions no matter how much she tried to conceal them. "And I have to be honest, if I ever hear him say vile things about you again, I will fucking kill him." The last words brought an ugly, hateful look to his face, and he realized with amusement he must look like a lunatic with his face bleeding all over the place.
"Don't say that," Mary said, her tone fierce. "It's not worth it. Imagine going to Azkaban just because a tosser like Mulciber called me a tart."
"He didn't just call you a tart," Sirius protested. "And it's not just what he said. I can't stand the way he looks at you - it gives me the creeps. I don't like him being anywhere fucking near you." He met her gaze, and the shared understanding of Mulciber's cruelty towards her last year hung between them, never explicitly discussed but somehow clear to Sirius.
"I know." She toyed with a lock of hair and stared down at her feet, tracing a crack in the stone floor over and over again. Sirius felt a pang of uncharacteristic tenderness as he noticed the unshed tears that rested like dewdrops on her long, dark lashes.
"Hey," he said, reaching over and wiping away a tear before it could roll down her face. Her eyes widened in surprise, and the tiniest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Then, for the second time that day, he acted without thinking and wrapped his arms around her. He breathed in the familiar scent of her hair and felt her body relax against him, and his own tension and anger began to ebb away.
Finally, he released her and they stood grinning at each other for a moment, before she touched his cheek and chuckled.
"You're bleeding everywhere, you prat," she said, using the sleeve of her robe to wipe away some of the blood. "Why didn't you go to the hospital wing?"
"Cause I'm a stubborn sod," he replied, his grin widening and causing his cut to bleed more freely. "And because I'd hate to miss even a second of Slughorn's lesson, even though he spends half the class fawning over Evans." He tugged one of her curls, enjoying the way it sprang back into place the second he released it. "I'll see you later, yeah?" he said, then headed for the Potions classroom, feeling more cheerful than he had in weeks.