Gretchen stared forward as she finished her story, and Janeway turned forward herself and sniffed, letting herself cry tears for what had happened to her crew, for the members of it she would never meet, and for the woman sitting next to her who was the last witness to it all.
"Gretchen I…." I wonder if she would let me hold her.
Kathryn looked back at the younger woman and felt a terrible chill go down her spine as Gretchen's body slumped forward, inert.
"Site-to-site" transport, said Captain Janeway, instinctively reaching out to feel a pulse, "Two to beam to Sickbay,"
"She's fine Captain," said the Doctor testily after scanning his patient, as Janeway hovered nervously, "She passed out."
"Why did she pass out?"
He sighed, "She's showing slight damage to her brain again. It's probably a good thing she passed out. My guess is her brain protected itself from any further damage by shutting down over-stimulation."
"You make it sound like an everyday occurrence," said Janeway combatively, "I expect you to take brain damage seriously."
"I do, and I am," said the Doctor, "But there's no sense in getting riled up over something that is going to be a normal occurrence until we can get her off of that Klingon medicine."
"I thought you said she should be fine as long as she took the correct dosage on time."
"I did," said the Doctor cooly, "But just last night, before all of the ruckus caused by that creature, I came upon some new information. I just hadn't had time to let even Gretchen know yet."
Janeway glared at him.
"It doesn't change her initial treatment. And I was working on three fronts you know, the fungus issue of course, evaluating the creature, and supporting the health of everyone on this ship. Naturally if it had been an emergency I would've given this priority. But it wasn't, and I only got a second opinion three hours ago."
Janeway toned down her glare, but continued to look at him intently, hands on her hips.
"It's K'Theer Syndrome," continued the Doctor, "I had never heard of it, but one of those holographic assistants I had is a Klingon. He got to the end of what he could do with the fungus and on a hunch I asked him to take a look at Gretchen's case before I replaced him. As it turns out, one of the Vulcan assistants I have is a specialist in Klingon medicine, and he confirmed it."
"Well what is it?" said Janeway, "Don't hold me in suspense."
"It's a reaction to the herb, but not an allergy or an intolerance….arguably the cause isn't physical at all. Essentially it happens when the user….usually an alien….has experiences they don't wish to remember."
Janeway looked at him questioningly.
"It's quite common in Romulans apparently…they're very good at compartmentalizing, so to speak, Klingons not so much…so there is the question of physiology vs. culture in the reaction to the drug…"
"Doctor," said Janeway, cutting him off.
"Right," said the EMH, "The drug is used to help Klingons, or other species sleep. However, the way it works is unique which is what has led to this situation with Gretchen. It isn't a sedative, though it mimics one initially. Once the user builds up a bit of a tolerance it helps Klingons, or other beings, clear their minds…..in the same way that some drugs help people clear their stomachs…..by throwing up their food…..The herb is trying to force her to 'throw up' memories, but she's instinctively resisting, and that's what's causing the damage."
"This will keep happening until the herb is safely weaned," he continued, "According to both experts, I can continue to heal the damage with an almost complete assurance of success…..They did both say though, that she was an extreme case…..I'll most likely have to knock her out for two or three months while she's weaned off of it…..And now that she's growing immune to her initial dose….these attacks could happen at anytime."
"That seems extreme," said Janeway, "There must be some better way of handling it."
"The Vulcan, unsurprisingly," said the Doctor, deadpan, "Suggested meditation. I'll mention it again, but Gretchen refused before…..something about wimp-o-wills."
"Not that creepy bird again," said Janeway, rubbing her temples, "She'll just have to see reason."
"Forcing her into a spiritual practice is unethical…..but even if it weren't, in this case it's likely to cause direct harm to her brain if she isn't fully cooperating with the process."
"She said it was a Native American legend," said Janeway, sighing, "I didn't want to breach her privacy before, but this is getting out of hand, I'm going to consult with Commander Chakotay."
"Kathryn?" said Chakotay in his pajamas, looking at the Captain standing outside his door in full uniform, upset, "It's four in the morning, I assume it isn't good."
"It's not," said Janeway, "It's about Gretchen."
He moved so that she could enter and she did.
"Have a seat," he said, and she sat on one of his black dining chairs, propped her head on her arm and sighed.
"How is she?" he asked in concern.
"Reasonably fine, she's resting from another attack." said Janeway, "But this is more of a research trip."
"Research?" he said, taking the chair across the table from her, "What do you want to know?"
"Have you ever heard of a wimp-o-will bird?"
"No," he stated firmly.
"Gretchen said it was a Native American legend," said Janeway, "I've already looked it up as much as our Computer would allow, apparently it's from New England."
"That's a long way from my tribe's lands," said Chakotay, "What has Gretchen fixated on it?"
"She thinks it's a demon that's going to eat her soul."
"What?"
"It's not as ridiculous as it sounds….I wish it were," sighed Janeway, "As best as I can piece together…..there was a creature in the holodeck when she was young. It killed Miral Paris…..Tom and B'Elanna's oldest daughter…and Naomi Wildman," said Janeway softly.
"That's terrible," said Chakotay, shuddering, "She thinks it's here now?"
"No…..she said specifically it wasn't…..that it was impossible…..but when we were trapped on the holodeck she kept remembering things about it…the Doctor says that the herb is forcing her to remember things she doesn't want to. That it's causing brain damage when she resists."
Chakotay looked at her in concern.
"He can heal it…..so the experts say…..but there must be some way of helping her deal with it that doesn't involve sudden seizures and months unconscious in Sickbay."
"What's the connection to the wimp-o-will?"
"The Native American legend of the actual bird is similar to the creature that killed the two girls in her timeline. Her mind uses it as a symbol for that creature."
"That makes sense," said Chakotay.
"Meditation could help her, but she won't do it…..it has something to do with that bird."
"Since it's an animal….and she's my daughter, I would bet she saw it in a vision quest," said Chakotay, "She must never have told me, I would have set her straight. Sometimes people see what they fear…..it's especially common with children. If she feared a bird stealing her soul…..and saw that bird …..she may have taken it as an sign. You can't force someone to talk about a vision quest…...not even a child…..they're considered private…which means she may have carried the belief she was doomed to die by that monster for decades."
Chakotay looked away, horrified, "I should never have let her carry that burden…..I should have known something was wrong…..you can't just leave a child alone to handle what they see…..if my own child couldn't trust me…..wouldn't bring it to me of her own free will…..I don't know what kind of father I must've been."
"She said something about the wimp-o-wills determining your worth, that only the strong willed could survive them…..that she knew that she wasn't." said Janeway emotionally, "My guess is she was afraid to tell you she was unworthy."
"And why the Hell would she be afraid of that?" said Chakotay heatedly, looking back.
"Me," said Janeway, holding his gaze and speaking self-deprecatingly, "She was afraid you'd judge her unworthy, because I already had."
Chakotay shook his head, "That's not true Kathryn. I'm sure being the Captain's daughter could be rough. And she's been through enough grief and trauma for 10 lifetimes, but I'm sure you were a good mother, even though you died far too soon."
"Are you kidding?" said Janeway, "The proof that I wasn't is staring both of us in the face."
"The proof that you are a good mother is staring me in the face," said Chakotay fiercely.
Janeway stared at him, and then looked away, misty-eyed. She felt herself becoming emotional, and stood up.
"Send her to me when she wakes up," said Chakotay, also standing and changing his tone, "I'll set her straight."
Janeway left Chakotay's quarters and headed to her Ready Room.
There's no way I'm going to be able to go back to sleep.
She worked at her desk, sipping coffee and thinking.
Hours later Janeway was startled by a voice from her combadge.
"Captain," came Tuvok's even voice, "I believe you should come to my quarters as soon as possible."
"On my way," said Janeway. His morning shift hasn't even started yet. And he sounded….uneasy for Tuvok.
Janeway made the trip quickly, entering his quarters to find him in his meditation robes, surrounded by Vulcan spiritual symbols.
"Captain," said Tuvok as she entered, "I believe I have contacted the creatures."
"What?"
"You left a standing order for us to try to contact them."
"Yes, I did," said Janeway in shock, "And it worked?"
"When I started my morning meditation today I realized I had not exhausted my possibilities. Twenty-seven minutes ago I attempted to contact them, and I received a response."
"What did they say Tuvok?" said Janeway, in awe.
"They repeatedly ordered us to leave this area of space, with great difficulty I explained, again repeatedly, that we could not. There was a long silence, where I could determine nothing. Then they renewed their order. I told them I was not Voyager's commanding officer, and that they should speak to my Captain."
"How did they respond?"
"There was no response, but I believe contacting them again is worth attempting."
"Now? Or do you need to rest?"
"Now is an optimum time Captain."
"Then do it, Mr. Tuvok."
Tuvok's eyes closed, and there was a long silence as he meditated.
Finally, he spoke out loud, "I have made contact Captain, do you have a message you wish me to relay?"
"Tell them we're sorry if the creature that appeared on Voyager was injured, we were startled by its appearance on our ship."
"They are not responding to that Captain, I am still only receiving orders to leave."
"Ask them if they're willing to help us leave. Tell them that we want to."
There was a long silence.
"They appear to be….deliberating Captain. I can't understand what they're saying, but the voices seem to be at odds with each other."
"Tell them we mean no harm. That we're a different form of life than they are."
"There's silence again Captain."
"Ask them if they could meet with us in some way and exchange information. They need not get involved with us, if they could show us the way out."
Tuvok was silent for a long moment, but then his eyes opened and he stood up.
He walked quickly to the console in his quarters, "They said that if we proceed to these coordinates, Captain, that they will attempt to exchange information with us."
He taped a few buttons on his console, "It will take approximately one and a half days for us to reach the coordinates."
"Call a meeting of the senior staff for 0900 once everyone is awake, but leave Ensign Kincaid off, she's recuperating in Sickbay. Seven has the Bridge right now, I'm going to consult with her."
"Aye, aye, Captain."
Janeway watched her senior staff file in, minus Gretchen and the Doctor.
It's not fair to spring something like this on Gretchen at a staff meeting, besides I want to get everyone's opinion without her here first.
"Commander Tuvok," said Janeway, starting the meeting, "Has made contact with the alien life forms that make up The Rift."
"You mean like the one that tried to kill you," said B'Elanna.
"We don't know what its intentions were, but yes," said Janeway, "Like the one that was on Voyager yesterday."
"But we tried everything we could to contact it," said Harry.
"Commander Tuvok tried another telepathic technique," said Janeway, "And it was successful. We were ordered away from The Rift repeatedly, but finally the aliens agreed to exchange information with us, if we would come to particular coordinates that are about 40 hours away."
"It could be a trap," said Chakotay cautiously.
"It could be," said the Captain, "Seven, report on what you've found so far."
"The meeting site appears to be a moon," said the former Borg drone coolly, "It is semi-inhabitable, but the air quality and atmosphere is poor and could sustain very little life over the long term. Not much else can be determined this far out, but the planet below seems to be uninhabitable."
"So basically we're going to do what Gretchen told us was a terrible idea?" said Tom, "Going down to one of the planets. How Voyager's original crew died in her timeline. And I know she's in Sickbay, but shouldn't she be in on this?"
"We haven't made any decision yet," said Janeway firmly, "But this seems like an opportunity we can't turn down out of hand. And I will consult with Ensign Kincaid about it before we decide."
"How can we safely meet with this race?" asked Harry Kim, "Unless we could exchange the information in a solely telepathic form, even exposing our technology to them could be dangerous. Gretchen said the fungus actually attacked the Doctor last time."
"We still don't know for sure this race caused the fungus," said Janeway, "But yes, it is our greatest concern. I am also concerned for any Away Team that may be asked to meet on the moon as this race has a proven history of killing Voyager crew members. I plan on stalling once we get to the meeting site and evaluating the situation from all angles. Until then, I expect everyone to be working in that direction with the information we have."
"Seven," continued Janeway, "We need that secondary shielding before we meet with these creatures. That's your top priority until we get to the meeting site."
"Yes, Captain,"
"Tuvok, I want you to meet with the other telepaths on board, and see if you can enhance your ability to speak with these creatures. Harry's right, if this could all be done telepathically, there would be no need to expose the rest of the ship to danger. If you do sense danger from that route, I want to know immediately."
"Aye, aye, Captain,"
"Chakotay, B'Elanna, Tom, Harry, I want you shoring up the defenses of this ship and making plans for a potential Away Team mission. Look for holes in our armor, and run simulations of how to safely work with these creatures."
"I never thought I'd agree with Gretchen," argued B'Elanna heatedly, "But working with a race that destroyed us last time, that could decimate this ship no matter what their intentions, I say we're better off on our own. We've only been here two weeks, surely we can come up with a better plan than allying ourselves with our worst enemy."
"We haven't made any decision B'Elanna," argued the Captain evenly, "But we need to consider all options. Last time we didn't make it out."
"We didn't have you last time," said Harry, nodding.
Janeway smiled and then turned serious again, looking around the table at her crew, "If you have objections, I want them detailed, in your reports. We are going to give this plan the absolute best we have to give. If it seems untenable after that, we'll find another way out of The Rift."
"The Borg, the Hirogen, the Malon," continued Janeway, her deep voice sinking into their minds, "We haven't let any of it stop us before, we're not going to let this stop us now."
The next day passed quickly in preparations. For reasons the Doctor could not completely explain, Gretchen had remained asleep. Tuvok was able to contact the race again, and with the help of the other telepaths on board, he was able to determine that the race was seeking a physical meeting on the moon.
"Were you able to determine if they have hostile intent?" asked Janeway to her Security Officer.
"I was not able to sense any," stated Tuvok impassively, "However, I do not believe that to be a good indicator of their true intentions."
"Any particular reason Tuvok," said Janeway, sipping her coffee at her desk.
"I do not believe this race is primarily telepathic. It seems….a strain for them to communicate this way. I believe I am only dealing with a small communications channel, it is easy for them to conceal their intentions, as it would be easy for you to conceal your intentions in a short message."
"Like an Earth telegraph," stated Janeway.
"I believe that is an apt analogy Captain."
"Have you been able to glean anything else Tuvok?"
"I believe there is some kind of….technology on the moon, with which they wish to communicate…or claim to wish to communicate."
"Could we speak to them from the ship?"
"No, they are insistent we must be closer."
"What about the Doctor?"
"They are insistent they must speak to a physical member of our species."
"That sounds concerning," said Janeway, leaning in.
"It is, however it is also possibly the only way they can communicate. If they are partially telepathic, it may be impossible for them to speak to a hologram. There is also the possibility that if infected, the Doctor's program could do the most damage to this ship by spreading through its systems."
"Tell them it will be a week, at minimum before we can speak to them. And keep at it, Mr. Tuvok," said Janeway firmly, "Find out whatever information you can, no matter how slight. The fate of this entire ship may hinge on this meeting."