A/N: i Claim no accuracy on the science/medical science in this fic as i am not a doctor and there is no claim anything i say science related is based in fact though i will try where i can to base reasoning in fact not fantasy
8 days later
"ok Tori you've made it quite clear you love and trust me however you've had four seizures in the past two days, I'm worried you're trying to quit" says Beck concerned
"ok first off no, while I may love you, the trust is wavering…, Jade, Cat and Trina are trying to get the doctor I'm getting my seizure meds from to find one that doesn't make me so tired, that movie we watched four days ago, ya… I fell asleep ten minutes in, that's not me that's the meds, also they aren't perfect, some seizures still get through but it provides a rather stable way of me being able to drive" says Tori
"ok so anyway I saw you coming out of the shower yesterday, you genuinely do have a butt birthmark, and here Andre, Robbie and I thought it really was a joke to get us to fail that Sikowits game thing" says Beck
"please don't tell anyone about that, if people find out then they're going to want pictures, I really don't want to be that kind of pop star" says Tori
"I understand baby, I won't say a word about it, no matter how cute your butt is" says Beck as Tori just stares blankly at him
"maybe a little far there Beck" says Jade
"no it's ok Jadey, I kinda liked how it sounded I'm just not sure about it being the right time, I have on a few occasions gotten myself to believe none of this is even real, not just beck but you, Trina and Cat, never in a million years would I have thought I'd deserve this much love" says Tori
"but you said your trust was wavering on beck" mentions Cat as her and Tori cuddle Beck
"not of him, of me, I'm not sure you should ever trust my word unless you've double checked that it matches with reality, I had to stop taking the seizure med because it was making me see things that weren't there, I'd see asshat mom in the bathroom, doesn't matter that I knew she didn't live here anymore or was actually even there, it didn't stop me from having a conversation with her, I'm afraid it might be permanent" says Tori
"that's bad" says Beck
"not entirely, Cassie was gonna ask she be switched out anyway Beck, she'd finally agreed with Tori's full time doctor on a med that won't affect Tori's natural sleep patterns and won't make her tired but will help mitigate the majority of her seizures" says Jade as Tori falls asleep cuddling Beck
"I've only seen her seize on the couch, how bad is it if she's standing because it looks pretty scary" asks Beck
"her neck muscles pull her head to the left and towards the back and she just drops, the convulsions you see when she seizes on the couch are solely because the nerves in her legs are damaged and if they don't get some sort of signal ala her standing up, she convulses" says Jade
"is there any way to predict the seizures or make them less serious without meds" asks Beck
"yes and yes to a degree, for the former her eyes glass over and her speech slows slightly about a minute or two before it happens, for the later it's a little bit trickier as the less harmful of the two according to Cassie is actually the one where Tori stands, she says that because of the cancer messing up Tori's nerves the muscles are at risk" says Cat
"ok I'm confused about something, why did Tori not wear a towel or robe coming out of the shower that day, doesn't she normally wear one" asks Beck
"it was a test, her hallucinating Holly being here and her questioning her mental stability doesn't mean she doesn't make solid choices, just because those meds made her hallucinate doesn't mean she's stupid, the entire goal was to see how you'd react and if I know Torbear you passed the test by bringing it up" says Trina
"why a test" asks Beck
"we all kinda came to the conclusion that a good boyfriend doesn't get scared by topics like seeing their potential girlfriends naked, Robbie never would have passed that test, she was hoping you'd bring it up and you did" says Cat
"it was a test of trust, notice she never asked why you were looking that day, just that you don't bring up her birth mark to anyone outside of this house, she knew full well you saw her, I used to steal perfume and hair products so she has a camera in the trim so she can see if anyone passes or tries to spy on her" says Trina
The next day
"morning beautiful girl" smiles Beck
"Hehe" giggles Tori
"that's not like you, wait is it, I guess I don't really know you do I baby" asks Beck
"I mean I had addiction therapy a few months into my chemo for smoking and she did this hypnosis thing and honestly it has helped a lot if I'm being honest" says Tori
"since when do you smoke" asks Beck
"ya ya I know it's bad for you but before all this happened I was basically alone, the doctors couldn't explain my pain, found out my mom had been cheating on my dad for years, I couldn't deal with the stress, the doc suggested green ala weed to help with my seizures as opposed to meds but honestly I'd rather be on meds than drugs like green or drugs like it" says Tori
"not to burst your bubble baby but green isn't as bad as you think, but if you don't want it I'm not gonna make you" says Beck
"it's not that I'm against green but now that I'm in the public eye I can't just think about my health, hypothetically if I smoked it and my fans found out they'd jump to conclusions, the support I rely on would dry up faster than I could blink, bills aren't cheap, I have health insurance, house insurance, item insurance on everything in the house, car insurance, car payments, I've already blown through one of the ten million dollars I got from Europe to start with" says Tori
"wait one million dollars just on insurance and car payments" asks Beck
"I mean also hydro, water, internet, Mikey, Sabrina Erica, Anna and Jasmine don't have jobs so I've kinda been giving them money for food and stuff, also I have two cars, gas is expensive and also that ten million is allowed to be used by Cat, Jade and Trina as well if they wanted to as well as you now, hehe" says Tori giggling
"wait so if I say hypothetically bought a ring to propose I could" asks Beck
"I mean realistically because my money is growing in my account at the bank… if any purchase goes above three grand it gets denied unless I call them first and tell them exactly what I expect the purchase price to be, also legally, Jade, Trina and Cat and I are already engaged, I'd just have to change a legal form so my engagement status includes you, all I'd have to do is send one email" says Tori
"you know I love you right" says Beck
"I mean even if you didn't I don't have time to second guess or assume, …..wait why are you kneeling" says Tori as Beck pulls out a ring
"will you Victoria Dana Vega make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife" says Back
"i… uhhhh….. can I please think about it" says Tori as Cat speaks up
"look torbear, you may not know how you feel but we see how you are around him, besides we all said yes to him, jade helped him pick out a ring, you can't understand how happy you are around him because your body is still wonky from the cancer and chemo, jade's the most protective of your feelings out of us girls and if she believes you're ready for this next step then you have to trust her" says Cat
"huh" says Tori confused
"look Tori it's ok to admit you've wanted this for a long time, you know as well as we do that you have enough love for all four of us, also you'd made it obvious you were looking at Beck or Robbie as boyfriend material, Robbie failed, Beck didn't, don't let that fact dis-illusion you babe, he passed the bathroom test, I dated him Babe, sure he has his faults but so do I, also I'm gonna say this, Robbie would give you a kid just to give you something to pay back all the trouble you went through to save him from that toy car, Beck isn't like that and trust me I let him know that if he EVER cheats on us or leaves us he will pay the price, you know in your heart you wanna complete our family" says Jade
"ya I know but Robbie…. He…. He wrote me a song…" cries Tori
"trust me torbear as capable as Robbie is and as corny as his songs are, under stress he will always fail, Beck asked about your seizures, trust me all Roberto Shapiro would do is cry in a corner, as bad as Beck can be at times trust me he's the right choice" says Cat
"wow, Robbie must have done something terrible for you to side with beck so easily" asks Tori
"ya he asked me out just before I went to Sanfran, while I told him no he went ahead and told all his nerdy friends he was gonna make me his, tie me up and shit, it really turned me off, while I might enjoy a little cuff action every now and then I hate rope with a passion, especially after Lewis" says Cat
"wait he did what, I'm going to kill him, I asked him three days ago why you were wary of him and he told me you were overthinking it, that is not normal and not ok, you overthink a lot of things Cat but what he did is emotional abuse" says Beck
"howie" asks Cat
"he told his friends a lie, a falsehood, therefore they'd have a preconceived notion of things you don't even like, his friends could take that a few ways, they could make references that objectify you thinking you like it and stuff, I'm gonna go in a bit and talk to David to see what I can do, so Tori yes or no" says Beck
"if you can put it on the right finger on the proper hand with your eyes closed then yes, if not then no, also your hands can't wander" says Tori
"uhhh I can't even do that baby, how do you expect him to" asks Jade as Tori winks
"it's clearly a test, Trina did a similar thing when her and I started dating" says Cat
"oh right you have to also find my lips and kiss me while your eyes are closed, you have to do it by memory or scent" says Tori as Beck closes his eyes and does the test
2 minutes later
"not perfect but pretty close" says Jade
"close enough for Tori to say yes" asks Beck
"yes" says Tori
"but I didn't get the proper hand or kiss you, I kissed your ear" says Beck confused
"I happen to enjoy ear nibbling, also the test was to see if you wanted to forcefully get things right or if you'd accept not being perfect, you mentioned second guessing your sexuality or gender when you arrived, have you decided" says Tori
"I'm thinking pansexual but I'm not sure, I haven't exactly nailed anything down yet" says Beck
"it's a spectrum so you don't really have to" says Tori
"the only thing that would break Torbeawy's heart is if you suddenly decided you were gay, she's got it in her head that she NEEDS kids, that it's not even an option, don't get me wrong she'd still be friends but she'd be heart broken" says Jade
"look trust me I'm not into guys, I did try it up in Canada but I ended it after a few days, it made me feel all icky inside, trans isn't off the table but I'm really really unsure about how any of that would work" says Beck
"ok you'd smoke me as a girl beck" says Tori as she picks up a brownie
"uhhhhh torbear those are cat's and they're dosed" says Trina
"ooh I like that taste, what is that" says Tori
"pot aka green, my doc switched me in lieu of my meds and I'm noticing a difference already, I'm much more myself" says Cat
"what's the dose like, like is it enough to get high because I don't like the sound of that" says Tori as she enjoys the effects of the brownie
"god no, while he definitlay recommended I don't drive while I adjust to it he specifically made sure the script said pure medicinal so the dispensary knew not to give me anything that would get me high, that said he told me how many of any of the foodies I was allowed per day" says Cat
"and that is" asks Tori intrigued
"two brownies or four cookies or a small pack of gummies, I'm not allowed more than that, he made that very clear" says Cat
"why haven't I seized yet, I haven't taken my meds yet and I'm usually always at risk of seizing when I eat anything" says Tori confused at how calm she feels
"did I not mention the green is fast release, I can call Maria right now and ask for a card and prescription for the same blend I'm on if you want" says Cat
"I guess I'll try it if it means I can eat without being scared for my life, but if I don't like it I want to be able to have a route back to my meds" says Tori
"obvi baby, Kitty go make that call, she's not gonna seize for at least six hours" says Jade as Cat nods and leaves to call Maria
"wait so I can be myself for six hours and not have to worry about seizures….." asks Tori dumbfounded
"yup, as you know cat has a multiple personality disorder, the meds change her, what the green does for Cat is basically hardwires her normal personality as long as the dose is in her system" says Trina
"ahh and she loves to nibble" says Tori
"yup, that's a fact, she takes a quarter of a brownie or sixth of a cookie in the morning then nibbles on her allotted dose for the rest of the day and eats a whole brownie or cookie before bed so she doesn't wake up as one of her alternate selves" says Trina
"ya to be fair Wanda is kinda irritating" says Jade
"trust me Lucy and Jaunie are ten times worse, at least Wanda let's you say cat, cereal, walk and food, Lucy is psychotic and Jaunie is insane, when they come out to play even looking at them sets them off, luckily they don't come out to play much and not anymore since the brownies and cookies" says Trina
"how long had you been with Cat exactly" asks Beck
"you left HA about three years ago after a big fight with your parents over Jade and the Robbie tech swoon incident happened shortly after that so about that long, actually three years today" says Trina
"wait today would have been three years" asks Tori
"ya, Beck left before Christmas and Cat and I got together after new years, she was still kinda ashamed about being bi so she would tell people she'd be visiting you when in reality she was here for me, remember how touchy feely she was back then, ya that was because of me" says Trina as Cat comes back
"ok so the prescription is in with the dispensary, it's gonna take them a few days to get your months worth ready" says Cat
"you know had I known that you could put green in food I'd have been way more open to it, this way I don't have to worry about my fans finding out, I was worried a papi would snap a pic of me with a smoke thing or a pipe and people would hate me for it" says Tori
"you know your biggest fan Dani here in LA uses right, she's an amputee and her doc recommended it to help with the phantom pains, she's an avid believer in health first and has been spreading the word that if you were to use its probably for health reasons like her and not just to use for fun" says Jade
"why would little sweetie Dani put that out there" says Tori confused
"first off Torbear, Dani is twenty-two she was in a car crash on her way to ballet when she was thirteen that fractured her growth plates and the doctors were forced to amputate her legs at the knees to save her life, her dad didn't make it and her mom lost an arm and is on social assistance, she told me that it's been her dream since she heard your first song to meet you, I tell her about your current situation and she understands that she can't meet you till you're a little better" says Jade
"I mean she is kinda cute, god those eyes and that voice, she could have been a singer, wait does she have like a crush on me" says Tori
"well your filter is clearly gone, I mean it's hard to tell with her, her mom told me that if anything happened that it be behind closed doors so I'd assume yes she does but she's never said anything" says Jade
"I mean I'm open to it, Jade set a visit for next week" says Tori as Jade nods