The Muse is working pretty well.

So, here's a new chapter.

This might be sad, but I needed to take it out of my system.

Episode: The One With The Morning After (3x16) - The One With The Prom Video (2x14)

"I think you should go." Rachel said, softly.

Ross couldn't believe his years. "What?"

"I really think you need to go, now."

Ross tried to let her words sink in, then he moved from the couch, standing right in front of Rachel.

"Okay, okay." He pointed his finger at her. Not threateningly, just in a very normal, common way.

He placed his hands over her shoulders, trying not to squeeze them too hard. He only needed to touch her, to feel her.

"This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn't work past it together..."

Rachel shook her head, her voice still broken for the rage, "Yeah, what the hell did I know." She tried to remove Ross's hands from her shoulders, but he immediately put them back there.

"Look, look. There's got to be a way we can work past this. Okay?"

Ross realized what was really happening. For the first time he began to fear that their relationship was really over. And he simply couldn't accept it.

He took a hold of Rachel's left arm, this time squeezing her hand in his one as tenderly as he could.

"I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you. Without, without…"

Both of them started to cry. They couldn't help it, that whole situation was so surreal and unbelievably unfair.

"Without these arms…" Ross managed to say, gently caressing Rachel's arm up and down.

She was sobbing so hard that it was getting more and more difficult to breathe.

"And your face" Ross's hand caressed her face. "And heart." This time, his hand found a place right over her chest.

"Your good heart Rach, and…"

He didn't know what else to do. Broken, irremediably destroyed, Ross dropped to his knees and hugged Rachel around her waist, trying to convey all his emotions in his hold.

But even if Ross's head was leaning on her belly, Rachel's arms were dangling, incapacitated to touch Ross to try and console him.

Rachel sniffed loudly, "No. I can't, you're a totally different person to me now."

Ross tightened his hold on Rachel without finding the courage to stand up.

"I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever."

That was it.

The way Rachel stressed out that word. Twice.

It was all Ross needed to find himself in another place and time.

"See? He's her lobster!"

Ross and Rachel couldn't see their friends, but Phoebe's sentence would certainly be stuck in their minds forever. Rachel made a mental note to ask Ross about this lobsters thing, but all she wanted to do now was to hold and be held.

When Ross felt that enough time had passed, he let Rachel go. He was still emotional exhausted for the long day. He'd experienced a rollercoaster of feelings, from the hope of the morning, through the despair of the afternoon, until the resignation of the evening.

But now, Rachel was here.

She had just given him a mind-blowing kiss.

She was smiling at him.

A lonely tear of what he hoped was happiness was falling from her eye, so he wiped it away.

"Shall we go out for a walk?" he proposed.

"Great idea." Rachel agreed, grinning from ear to ear.

Rachel walked towards the table; she had put her coat on a chair when she had arrived home. Ross's brown jacket had been moved to Rachel's room when Monica had reproached her brother for letting it on the couch.

"Let me get my coat." He told her.

"Okay." She nodded.

The guys were still smiling for what had just happened. Rachel moved her eyes from one to another, finding all colors of emotions. Joey was nodding with a sly smile, Phoebe was beaming, Chandler was grinning like an idiot and Monica was still moved. Ross also noticed her expression, when he came back from Rachel's bedroom.

"Mon, are you ok?" he asked her, gently caressing her shoulder.

"Yes, it's just…I've got…something in my eye." She lied.

"Ok." he chuckled, not so convinced.

Ross and Rachel left the apartment and, as soon as the door closed behind them, they heard the loudest shouts of joy ever. Among them, a few comments could be heard, like Chandler screaming, "I knew it!" and Joey yelling, "Finally!".

Ross and Rachel giggled in response, looking at each other with hilarity.

"Shall we?" he offered, opening his hand in her direction.

Rachel smiled in return and took it, getting excited at the idea of going out hand in hand with Ross.

§§§

Since they had gotten into the café, they hadn't said anything yet.

Their two cups were on the table, waiting to be drunk. Both of them were finding it difficult to start talking, they were still shocked.

Not for the kiss per se, they had kissed before – and it had been just as awesome as tonight.

More for the meaning of that kiss.

Rachel finally found the courage to say something, "I'm so glad you didn't go away, before."

Ross smiled, "Me too. I don't know why I decided to stay. I felt completely humiliated and yet I couldn't find the strength to open the door and walk away."

Rachel stared at him with admiration, "Ross. No one ever did something like that for me. It's the sweetest thing I've seen in my entire life. And you didn't want me to ever find out?"

"No, but…" Ross tried to elaborate his thoughts. "It was hard for me, Rach…seeing you walk away with Chip…after hoping that maybe you would go to the prom with me, you know?"

Rachel nodded, trying to put herself in his shoes.

"I took those scars with me for a very long time." Ross admitted.

"I'm so sorry, Ross. But you know how shallow I was back then."

Ross shook his head, "You never were, Rach. It was me; I was a freaking geek! Come on, have you seen that afro hair?"

They both laughed at the memory of Ross's hairstyle.

"And it remained like that until Chandler and I changed our looks during our Miami Vice phase."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that Thanksgiving. Wasn't that the year that Monica cut Chandler's little finger?"

Ross opened his eyes wide, "God, I had completely forgotten about that!"

They shared a significant look. They both realized at once how much being a couple would be great. They didn't need to get acquainted, because they've been in each other's lives for years.

Rachel remembered Monica and Phoebe words, "It's like starting on the fifteenth date!"

"Rachel, I want to tell you again how sorry I am about that stupid list." Ross sighed.

Rachel shook her head, "Let's not talk about it anymore, Ross. From now on you are allowed to call it the unfortunate incident." She smiled, accepting the request he had made at Christmas.

Ross chuckled, "I just want to explain. Back then, it seemed the only way to help me choose, but the truth is that I needed no list. I had no doubt. You were always the only one in my heart."

Rachel stared at him with devotion.

"I thought I could move on with Julie because…well I had been through a difficult year, I always failed when I tried to confess my feelings to you..."

"Now I know how you felt, Ross." Rachel admitted. "It was just a few weeks, but… imagine your feelings and increase them a couple of times, because I knew about you and I couldn't tell you."

Ross was curious, "How did you understand that you have feelings for me?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't know…After Chandler told me…I kept thinking about you. I was trying to understand if our relationship was just friendship or something more. And one night I had a date with this ridiculous guy, and suddenly…you came to my mind. That's when I knew that I needed to give a chance to us. That we were worth it."

Ross was mesmerized by her words. He smiled and took her hand in his, "I'm happy that you decided to give us that chance, tonight."

"Like I could keep avoiding you after watching that video."

Ross nodded, grateful for her behavior.

"So, what do you think if we go out tomorrow?"

"Like in a date?"

"Yes. Our first date."

Ross's smile might have enlightened the whole city during a blackout.

"Sounds kind of official." Rachel commented.

"Too soon?" Ross wondered.

Rachel chuckled, "Of course, not. I can't wait!"

"Ok. There's this foreign movie I'd like to watch. It's subtitled. Is it okay for you?"

Ross knew Rachel's tastes, of course. But he wanted to involve her in something that he liked. On the other way, Rachel didn't want to put glasses on their first date. She almost never wore them, but she usually needed them at the cinema, if the movie had subtitles.

In the end, the desire to make Ross understand that she wanted to share his interests prevailed. Maybe she could simply not wear glasses.

"Ok." She finally agreed.

Ross couldn't believe this. "Rachel. I think this is going to be awesome."

Rachel nodded, "I think so too. But before going down this road, I want to clarify a few things with you, Ross."

"Yeah."

"I'm in this wholehearted. I do care about you. I've known you since we were kids, you're not just a friend, you're my best friend's brother. If things went bad between us, it would be a disaster, not only for us, but also for Monica, and the guys…"

Ross interjected her, "If it's up to me, it's never going to end."

Rachel smiled, touched by his statement, probably worth more than a thousands I love you.

"I believe you. But let me put things straight, anyway. I am a very forgiving person. I'm not possessive. I know you have friends; I know you like speeding time with the guys on your own, sometimes. But this relationship must work the same way in both directions."

"Obviously." Ross nodded in understanding.

"I've gone from a loser to another, men that used me and betrayed me. Chip, Barry, Paolo…" she scoffed.

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Lasagna." Ross muttered.

Rachel took his hand, ignoring his joke.

"Ross, I don't expect anything from you but being faithful. I want to trust you. That's the reason I was so disappointed by that list, you betrayed my trust in you."

Ross nodded, finally understanding her point of view. He felt very guilty.

"So, to review. Faithfulness and trust." Rachel counted on her fingers.

Ross smiled, "Ok, Rach."

"Ok? Because I used to think of you as somebody that would never hurt me, so the list was your first strike. You won't have a second strike, Ross." Rachel joked.

"Noted." Ross confirmed, smiling at her.

"You know, if there's something I've learnt from my former boyfriends is that love is never enough. To make it work, you need respect, friendship, loyalty. Things that we already have." Rachel remarked with joy.

"That is true." Ross agreed.

"And what do you want from me?" she asked him.

Ross thought for a few seconds. He looked at Rachel, realizing that she was perfect just the way she was, with her insecurities, perfections and imperfections.

"I want you to believe in this. Deep down, I've always known that we would be perfect together, I've always felt it. When I foresaw passion in your future, I was talking about us."

"That's sweet." Rachel said.

"But I don't want you to be scared of my failed wedding and the fact that I already have a son."

"Don't be silly, Ross. You know how much I love Ben; I was there when he was born! Oh, and I was there when you found out he was a boy!"

"Actually, you told me." Ross reminded her.

"Exactly!" Rachel laughed. "Seriously, I love him Ross. Don't worry about that. I know he needs you, you're his dad. A wonderful dad, actually, and this is something that I particularly love about you."

Ross blushed, "Thank you."

This made Ross think that he needed to go if he wanted to call Ben before sleep.

"I gotta go now. Maybe I can come over tomorrow morning before going to work?"

"Definitely." Rachel agreed.

He didn't know if he should kiss her to say goodbye, this was all still so new. He almost decided to stand up and go, but Rachel dragged him towards her and kissed him.

Not with the same passion of their previous kiss, they were in public place, after all.

But this was a kiss with promises for their future.

All gone now.

Rachel had warned him, back then.

Ross knew that the list had been his first strike. All Rachel wanted from him were trust and fidelity. And he had betrayed her.

He wanted to make her happy, and now he wasn't better than the scum she had been going out with before him.

In fact, he was worse.

Rachel put her hands on her eyes in pain, "God, and now I just can't stop picturing you with her, I can't, it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross."

She finally managed to push him away, and Ross stood up from his position and backed away.

"It's just changed, everything."

Ross nodded; he knew what she meant.

He knew.

"Forever." Rachel's voice was almost a whisper.

Ross and Rachel kept sobbing, both of them unaware of the fact that their four best friends were hiding in Monica's room, suffering just as much as them.

"Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean…"

Ross paused, hoping that Rachel would say something. He looked at her, expectantly.

Rachel exhaled a couple of times, knowing that she was going to say the hardest sentence of her life.

"Then how come it is?"

Ross's breath wasn't regular anymore. His hands rested on his hips; his eyes couldn't leave her face.

Rachel tried to avoid his look for a while, she crossed her arms over her stomach, exhausted.

Ross decided to comply to her former request. He moved away and took his coat from the armchair. He put it on and walked across the room.

"Rachel, I will not stop loving you. I simply can't." he stated quietly.

"I told you, Ross. Love is not enough. You've got to get used to that." Rachel said harshly.

Ross cast a last distraught look at her, nodding. "You're right. But I love you too damn much to let you go."

"Well, you kind of have to. Because from now on you won't have me. Anymore." Rachel wrapped up her speech.

She knew that she wasn't capable of lying. She couldn't say that she didn't love him anymore, because that wasn't true. She obviously still loved him.

But she couldn't forgive him. And she would not change her mind.

Ross had betrayed her, he had done something so terrible that he would never gain her trust again.

Her heart was broken, she knew that certain circumstances had created a bad environment for their relationship, she knew that Ross would never cheat on her with a clear head.

But he had slept with another woman.

And she would never forgive him for that.

She watched Ross going away and closing the door behind him.

Then she finally sat on the couch, staring sightlessly at the floor in front of her. She re-experienced the events of that terrible day.

She laid down, hoping that she would finally fall asleep and that maybe she would wake up to find out that this had just been a terrible nightmare.

But she knew that this wouldn't happen.

.

She cried herself to sleep.