Kimsan: Haha are you sure about that? We started off with staircase Rhett. With Rhett who disappeared for 2 days, asked his wife for a divorce and then took their daughter for 3 months to Charleston, questioned his child's paternity. Lol. Just because Rhett isn't who we want him to be doesn't mean he's the same. He actually bothered me in this fic because he did actually progress too much for how I thought the story would go and I had to change my plans for it.
misscyn: Because they are proud and foolish people. She got him in bed because she wanted a baby, he went to her bed because she wanted a baby. They were able to be in bed with each other without admitting that they wanted each other. They needed people in their lives to smack them upside the head.
AN: We've made it to Friday folks and if anyone's curious I am now at 43k words in my doc for this fic, I think it will end at 50k (I hope it will. It got bigger than I expected. The characters actually progressed a lot more than I expected with each other before I expected them to progress). Thank you for all the wonderful words of encouragement this week. I hope everyone has an okay weekend.
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Part Fourteen
Early June 1872
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There was a stillness in the house when Rhett entered. He was about to remark on it after returning Pork's greeting, but the other man spoke first, "Dr. Meade's with Miss Scarlett.
It was the man's tone that told Rhett the significance of the doctor's presence. Rhett's eyes closed briefly, the urge to tear up the stairs and fly into his wife's room, overwhelming. He kept his feet still and his eyes slowly opened. "The baby?"
"Prissy says she lost it."
"And Scarlett?"
"Seems to be fine."
Seems to be, Rhett hated those words, hated their lives. How something could lead to two such extreme ends. He had seen men die from splinters; how easily could a wife be taken because of a lost pregnancy?
He needed to take the stairs, proceed up them at a normal pace, stand outside her door awaiting the doctor. He could do nothing. It was a hopeless feeling. To be rendered useless. He paused as he was about to begin his journey, "Why didn't you send for me?"
"Miss Melly said there was nothing you could do, best leave you be."
"Did she really?" He asked with scorn for the woman he normally respected. He understood she was trying to save him the pain and suffering of being rendered useless, but that hadn't been her decision. It was his child. His wife. He should have been there.
As he began to take the stairs, he saw Dr. Meade emerge from the hallway to the first set of steps with Mammy following behind him.
He waited for them at the bottom of the stairs. Mammy had tears in her eyes and didn't say anything aside from his name before she disappeared down the hall and towards the kitchens.
"I'm sorry Rhett," the doctor spoke with solemn eyes reflecting the loss just suffered.
Rhett nodded, "How's Scarlett?"
"Physically she seems fine. Mammy knows what to watch for and she's under strict orders to send for me immediately. These things happen far more often than we talk about."
"Can I see her?"
Dr. Meade nodded, "Miss Melly and Prissy are with her, it's not entirely over. You may be more comfortable waiting until-"
"If it's not over, why do you appear to be leaving?"
"There's nothing I can do Rhett, I have other patients to see, I will be back to check on Scarlett in a few hours."
"I would prefer if you stayed."
"And I would prefer if we had many more doctors in this town, neither of us will be getting what we want today Rhett."
o-o-o
He hesitated outside of his wife's room. Wondering if it were best to leave her to the women as she went through this. Women often seemed to think that was the best plan. Miss Melly, Mammy and Prissy had all been with his wife while their children had come into the world and now it seemed they had been with her when their child was lost. His and Scarlett's, not theirs.
He was struck, not for the first time, on how crowded their marriage had always been, their courtship had been crowded, their marriage had been crowded, their family had been crowded. It had not simply been Mr. Wilkes, but Mrs. Wilkes, but Mammy. They were never truly a couple, it should have been little surprise to him, how quickly he had been the one forgotten in the mix.
He debated sitting, he debated knocking, he debated going to find his living children and holding them tight to him. Unless Miss Melly had sent the children away, which she was likely to have done.
He heard her cry out, he was almost sure he heard his name.
He opened the door without hesitation and crossed the threshold.
"Shh Scarlett, Captain Butler's here now," Melly said brushing a hand along her sister-in-law's face. "I was just about to send word," she nodded and him and stood.
"Rhett," Scarlett whimpered.
"I know my sweet," he said quickly moving to her side.
"The baby's gone."
"I know. I'm sorry my dear." He was at a loss for words. They could have other babies. They had four healthy children. It was this one though, this one she was grieving for in a way he couldn't. It had been a part of her.
"It's not fair. I wanted this baby."
"I know you did."
o-o-o
He was coming down the stairs as the front door opened.
Bonnie was barreling past her siblings calling his name.
Melly was chasing in after her.
Ella was walking in next to Wade as he carried Nicky.
Rhett was struck by the serious nature of the boy as he carried his little brother. He wondered if the boy knew the truth of his mother's illness.
"I want Mother!" Bonnie demanded as he scooped her up into his arms.
"Mother is resting," he told her as he approached Melly.
"The children are worried about their mother after her fall," Melly said with obvious relief at getting to stop chasing after Bonnie.
He imagined he should tell her Bonnie had been taking the stairs on her own for over a year. His daughter was as physically advanced as she was mentally. "Your mother will be fine in a matter of days. Dr. Meade wants her to stay in bed and rest her ankle."
"Nicholas needs Mother," Wade informed him, "he didn't like the mash Aunt Melly gave him."
"He can have the Liebig's food we got him, Ella can feed him," he offered to make the prospect more appealing. Ella had practically burst with joy when Scarlett had first tried the product and her mother let her hold the bottle. He was now offering her the baby and the bottle. It was likely better than Christmas and her birthday combined.
"He didn't like that," Wade informed him.
"Your mother hardly gave it a chance-"
"Nicky wants Mother," Wade looked at him firmly.
"Dr. Meade said it would be fine to try," Melly added in.
"If Mother hurt her ankle, why would she not be able to feed Nicholas?"
"Because she's injured and exhausted Wade and feeding a strapping boy like your brother-"
"Captain Butler," Melly interjected. "I imagine Scarlett will be able to tell us if she feels up to it." She smiled at them, "Now Captain Butler is right, your mother is quite exhausted. We're only going in there to wish her a speedy recovery and say goodnight."
All three verbal children gave their agreement.
"Wade, please hand me Nicholas, I hardly feel comfortable with you taking this many stairs with him," Melly said looking at the precious baby in Wade's arms.
o-o-o
"Did I do this?" Scarlett asked in a moment of weakness as he approached her as Nicky was nursing after the children had been sent off with Mammy to ready for bed.
"Not at all. You heard what Dr. Meade said," he said as he went to sit in the chair next to her bed.
"They say you shouldn't nurse while you're pregnant. I should have tried harder with that repulsive mix."
His lips lifted up in a smile, the memory of them trying that reconstituted mix, he still wasn't entirely sure why the whole family, except for Bonnie, who'd turned her nose up just like Nicky, had tried the formula. "I imagine the women who say that are the ones who don't see their babies for longer than a half hour a day."
"They say-"
"They are hardly the women having a baby every year. You also come from hardier stock than most of those bluebloods."
She gave him a look of disdain for making her sound like a farm animal.
"Most women don't have the luxury of wet nurses and those are often the ones with the baby every year. There was nothing that you did to cause this. I want you to put such nonsense out of your head."
o-o-o
He found himself alone in his office not long after leaving Scarlett. He had taken the bottle of brandy out of the dining room. He had wanted space. No one would dare enter his office without invitation.
He was filled with a sense of self-loathing and remorse that he couldn't shake despite the fact that he knew it was illogical.
He had been disappointed with how quickly she had conceived. Found himself wishing night after night for more time in his wife's bed. It felt as if the universe had listened. The child was gone. He would have to be allowed back into her bed if she wanted another baby.
He hadn't wanted it this way.
He had wanted the baby.
He had just wanted more time with Scarlett.
Children weren't something he'd expected or wanted before Bonnie.
He hadn't been foolish enough to think he wouldn't eventually have a child with Scarlett. He had absolutely wanted nothing between their bodies after nearly seven years of wanting their bodies together.
She had been a haunting memory that first year after that fleeting meeting. She hadn't faded from his thoughts, instead every memory had become more pronounced, as if he'd lived each moment a hundred times.
No, he'd certainly not have been willing to put rubber between himself and his wife.
Withdrawing from his wife should have boughten him more time with just the two of them than it had.
When it was done though, he couldn't let Scarlett risk her life, risk being gone from his world, to not be with child.
He hadn't wanted children, but he had wanted Scarlett.
He had taken on stepchildren. He'd certainly never planned on that. However, he had always liked the children even though he shouldn't have liked her children with other men. He had spent his long trip to England planning their life, not just his and Scarlett's.
He hadn't wanted more than his wife, certainly not more than his wife and his stepchildren, but then there was Bonnie.
It was as if a dam burst open within him the moment, he'd seen their little girl.
He wanted his daughter, he wanted his son, and he'd wanted that baby.
He'd just also wanted his wife.
The universe, it seemed, had listened to that screaming thought. His desperation and love for Scarlett.
To be with her.
To be the only one with her.
To exist in a place where it was just the two of them.
There had been no ghosts in bed with them the last year.
He had finally gotten to be with her as he'd wanted.
Finally gotten it to be just them.
Damn the universe for listening to him.
Thanks for reading!
PS-Who voted for this during the 2020 holiday season?! I need a punchbowl of spiked eggnog.