Barnaby finally looked at his messages from the night before,
"Hey Bunny, not sure what's going on with you, but let's meet up soon okay? =D" received 14 hours ago
"Bunny~! dunno if u have plans today but gimme a call" received 4 hours ago
"Hey! just send a txt back so I know u r alive at least! (just joking, but not really?) =[ received 27 minutes ago
He let out a sigh and set the phone down. How could he face him? He couldn't. Maybe he would go away for the rest of their time off? He shook his head, he couldn't do that. He had to face Kotetsu, at the very least he had to let him know he was alright.
He picked up his phone and typed back, "sorry, fell asleep as soon as I got home, didn't see these until just now." It wasn't a total lie, he had fallen asleep almost immediately.
A response came back before he had a chance to set his phone down.
"Oh good!" the three little dots appeared letting him know Kotetsu was typing again.
"Since we don't have interviews anymore and the day after tomorrow is Christmas want to make plans?"
Barnaby stared at the message. Make plans for Christmas. As if things couldn't get worse. Seeing Kotetsu as he was, an emotional mess from the dreams every night, compounded by the fact that Christmas was the worst day of the year for him? He didn't think he would make it through without crumbling and revealing his inner turmoil to Kotetsu. He couldn't chance ruining their friendship. What if Kotetsu thought he was disgusting? (he was fairly certain he wouldn't care about him being gay, not with how he let Nathan hang all over him) he was worried it would ruin how they acted with one another. Would Kotetsu still feel comfortable with how intimate they were if he knew it meant more to him? Would he still want to hang all over Barnaby if he knew it made him horny? He couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk making things awkward between them. He had to shake these deeper feelings for him, he had to have Kotetsu in his life, he was more important than anyone else.
"Busy today, I'll let you know if I'm free for Christmas." Barnaby typed back quickly and turned his phone to silent and pocketed it. He couldn't deal with this right now. Couldn't deal with any of it.