12. Guardians and Kass

This chapter is more of a songfic. It is based on a song with the greatest story I have ever heard in my life and I found the perfect way to implement it into this fic- by making the upside-down laser-shooting pots with legs "sing" it. If Terrako can play melodies, why not the bigger Guardians, too?

By the way, I am not going to change the spelling of some words from the original.

Enjoy :-D

"Shots Fiyerd"

by Noble (1995)

Once upon a time there was a Guardian Stalker

It was going looking if it can see another Guardian

And then it saw another Guardian

And then it saw another Guardian

And then "POF"!

The Guardian got hit

Then the Guardian fiyerd back then

POW! POW! POW! POW! POW!

The Guardian Stalker got hit

Then the Guardian Stalker got mad

Then it fiyerd back and then

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF POF, POW POW, CRACK CRACK, ZAP, ZAP, ZOOP, ZOOP, SU- SU- BOOM BOOM, SPLAT SPLAT, THERP THERP, SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM, SO- SO- SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF POF, POW POW, CRACK CRACK, ZAP, ZAP, ZOOP, ZOOP, SU- SU- BOOM BOOM, SPLAT SPLAT, THERP THERP, SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM, SO- SO- SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM

The Guardian Stalker got hit

Then the Guardian fiyerd agin then "ZAP"

The Guardian got hit agin

Then the uther Guardian Stalker fiyerd then "ZOOP"

The Guardian Stalker got hit

Then the Guardian fiyerd agin then "SUBOOM"

The Guardian Stalker got hit agin

Then the Guardian Stalker fiyerd back and then "SPLAT"

The Guardian got hit

Then the Guardian fiyerd back and then "THERP"

The Guardian got hit

Then the Guardian Stalker fiyerd back and then

SO- SO- SONICKBOOM!

SONICKBOOM! SONICKBOOM! SONICKBOOM!

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF POF, POW POW, CRACK CRACK, ZAP, ZAP, ZOOP, ZOOP, SU- SU- BOOM BOOM, SPLAT SPLAT, THERP THERP, SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM, SO- SO- SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF, POW, CRACK, ZAP, ZOOP, SUBOOM, SPLAT, THERP, SONICKBOOM, SO-SONICKBOOM

POF POF, POW POW, CRACK CRACK, ZAP, ZAP, ZOOP, ZOOP, SU- SU- BOOM BOOM, SPLAT SPLAT, THERP THERP, SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM, SO- SO- SO- SO- NICK- NICK- BOOM BOOM

The Guardian got hit

And then the Guardian "BLOOEN UP"

Then it saw it planet

And it wus Jooputer

And it livd happily ever after

THE END

What no one knew was that the guardians had their own "secret language" which consisted of beeps only they could perceive… including Kass, who stormed in to sing the last line with them, playing his squishy piano. Surprisingly, he understood their beeps – music does transcend all language.

Also, there is an amusing fan theory about the original "Shots Fiyerd". The theory implies that there might have been three ships: The mysterious third ship was the first to fire upon the spaceship (which is actually the "evil" one, because it falsely accused the alien ship of shooting at them, and attacked it), while the alien ship just got caught in-between their conflict, but it left the battle triumphant and landed on Jooputer or something like that.