Erik wasn't certain if it was actually the trip above the next day that was terrible, or merely his fear of the trip above that made it terrible. He didn't have an attack, not exactly, but it was uncomfortable at times.

The worst of it came when they reached the top of the spiral stairs and had just stepped out into a deserted hallway. Christine was in the middle of telling some story about a piece of theater gossip (she was increasingly the one who talked on their journeys nowadays, he didn't seem to have quite enough breath anymore, but he did love hearing her talk) when she glanced over at him and suddenly stopped, frowning.

"Erik," she fretted. "You're pale. Are you alright?"

Erik cursed himself. He had wanted to hide this from her as long as he could. It was just one of the many reasons he hadn't gone to a doctor yet - if he received bad news (and how could this not signal bad news?) then he would be in a terrible mood and she would be certain to notice that. How could he spring that on her now, so close to the most important moment of career so far? She had enough on her plate without having to worry about him and his issues. It would only distract her from what was important. No, he couldn't let her know, not until after the first few shows, anyway - and that meant he couldn't know, either. It was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make, for her.

He tried to smile and shrug and play it off as a truck of the light.

"Gas lamps, Christine - you're used to seeing me in electric light, remember?"

She shook her head, stepping closer to him and placing a hand on his arm.

"No, it's not that - do you need to sit down? You're really quite pale."

He placed his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze.

"You always were the most compassionate girl," he murmured. "But Erik is fine."

She studied his face for a moment and nodded, but she didn't fully believe him. She had a feeling, sometimes, that he was hiding something - she had of late increasingly noticed little things here and there, things that might or might not be connected. Sometimes she worried something was wrong with him, but so often he seemed so fine. Was it just her own anxiety over him? Or was he truly ill?

"Now, what was it Doreen told Peter after she found out he said her new dress was ugly?" he asked quietly.

She was pulled from her own thoughts, her frown fading.

"Well, she really let him have it-"

She whispered the rest of the story as they made their way down the hall, Erik trying to catch his breath inconspicuously. Soon enough it cane time for them to part, him to Box Five and her to her dressing room. They paused a moment in the hallway, and Erik recalled what she had said about being nervous.

"Are you ready, sweet?"

She nodded.

"Are you sure?" he teased. "You look a little pale."

He reached a hand to cup her face for a second, then gently pinched her cheek and gave it a little shake.

Christine laughed lightly as she reached up to place her hand over his and leaned her face into his touch for a moment. She closed her eyes, smiling, wishing that it could always continue like this between them forevermore. Surely he would stay healthy for years to come, wouldn't he? And surely they would be still be close even if she bungled the role of prima donna and got fired, wouldn't they?

She hugged him, and he returned the embrace and ran a hand over her hair, careful not to upset the ribbon she had tied it back with. It would be so easy, he thought, so natural, to simply kiss the crown of her head, but he refrained from doing so.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" she said as she pulled away.

Erik watched her go until she was out of sight down the next hallway, and he turned and slowly made his way to Box Five. He kept to the shadows as much as he could, his mysterious condition causing him to take the shortest path to where he wanted to go - meaning the long and twisting paths he used to traverse so easily were now out of the question, leaving him to walk hallways where he might run into anyone. He kept his head ducked, his hat covering much of his mask.

It was because of this that he ended up running into the Daroga.

Erik had half a mind to just keep walking, but Nadir stopped a little ways away from him and squinted his eyes.

"Erik?"

Erik tensed.

"Erik, what are you doing out here?"

He could hear the concern that colored the other man's voice, and he finally looked up. Nadir's eyebrows went up.

"You look-"

"Pale, pale, yes, I know," Erik waved an annoyed hand. "I'm up here because I'm on my way to my box... Christine is singing, you know."

"Ah, the new prima donna, yes," Nadir smiled.

He just stood there, smiling like some kind of fool, and Erik narrowed his eyes at him.

"Would you like to join me in my box, Daroga?" he accused.

His face lit up.

"Of course! That sounds splendid!"

Erik nodded brusquely.

"Very well. But if you dare to utter a single word while Christine is singing, I must warn you, Daroga - I will not hesitate to forcibly evict you from Box Five, quite possibly over the railing, too."

Nadir chuckled.

"I'd expect no less from you, old friend."

Once inside the box, Erik quickly sat down and elevated his feet on a footstool. He felt oddly out of breath but he knew it would pass in a bit if he rested. The Daroga, annoying as ever, noticed.

"Are you alright? I know it was a bit of a walk here, but you seem winded."

Erik shot him an annoyed glare, but decided it was not the time for pretense anymore.

"I have been... off, of late," he said slowly. "Have, ah, have you ever had chest pains, Daroga?"

He tried to keep his tone casual, tried to hide the actual concern just under the surface as he glanced over at Nadir.

"Chest pains?" he frowned and thought about it. "No, not myself."

They were both quiet a moment, watching the performers line up for their opening scene down below.

"Chest pains and shortness of breath?" Nadir asked presently.

Erik nodded slowly.

"Dizziness?" he eyed Erik carefully.

A single nod.

"You haven't passed out, have you?"

"No," Erik said innocently enough - the not yet was implied.

"Jaques used to have that, too - he lives in the flat across from mine, we go fishing every now and then."

"Oh?" Erik tried to pretend to care about Jaques and the stupid fish when all he really wanted to know was how the man had seemingly stopped having the symptoms.

"He takes some pills now, fixes it right up. Nitroglycerin, I think. Helps the heart work better," Nadir paused. "Of course, Alan had the same symptoms, too."

"Did Alan cure it with the nitroglycerin too?"

Nadir shook his head.

"No, Alan died, I'm afraid. Same symptoms, but a different problem. There was nothing they could do for him. It can be difficult to tell the difference, really."

Erik placed an anxious hand over his heart as they both stared down at the stage. The pain had already passed and he was breathing easily again, but-

How could one tell the difference? With Erik's luck, he knew which one it was.

"I take it you haven't spoken to a doctor yet?" Nadir murmured.

"No."

"Do you plan to?"

Silence.

"Erik... You really should get it checked out. Here, I'll give you the name of my doctor, he's very good. I can even tell him about you, that you'll be dropping by."

He pulled a pen and a scrap of paper out of his pocket and scrawled down a name and address, then handed it to Erik, who looked at it a moment before placing it in his own pocket.

He was saved from having to reply by Christine entering the stage.

Nadir, true to his word, kept quiet during Christine's solo. She truly had become a very lovely singer. He glanced at Erik and watched him as he watched her. He was staring at his student as though she was everything that was good in the world. Nadir was reminded of long ago, of his own wife back in Persia, and how he too used to look at her that very same way. Erik very clearly loved the young woman, and Nadir wondered if he had told Christine that, or if she had simply realized it just from how he acted towards her. He was already making plans in his mind of how to goad Erik into going to the doctor - he could likely use Christine as motivation, he realized. Wouldn't he want to be healthy for Christine?

Her song ended, and the next scene began. She was doing a quick change behind the curtain into a ridiculously huge wig, and it would be one and a half songs until she reappeared.

Erik stood up and began to pace. Her voice had been nearly perfect - nearly. He mentally made notes of what he wanted to go over in their next lesson.

Nadir watched him pace a moment.

"How are things going with you and the mademoiselle?" he asked, and Erik froze.

How were things going? Well...

Good, he supposed, especially after-

"She knows," he said on a shaky exhale. "She knows about Persia now. About what I did there."

"Oh, Erik," Nadir sighed.

He stood to face him, and saw the pained look on his face.

"I never- I never wanted her to find out," his voice trembled. "But she knows, now."

Thinking of it afterwards, Erik couldn't remember who it was who had approached who first, and Erik could have sworn he meant to shove the Daroga away or to abuse him in some manner, but he somehow found himself hugging the man instead.

Had the Daroga moved to embrace him? Had Erik stepped towards him to fall into his arms? Had both happened at the same time? Erik couldn't tell, and Erik didn't care. Nadir was the only one who could possibly understand about Persia and what had happened there, the only one who could possibly know how it pained him to let the love of his life know, even in part, even in such vague wording, what he had done in the past.

Erik choked back a sob, clinging to him tightly.

"Is she upset, now that she knows? Does she still want lessons?" Nadir asked softly.

For a brief moment, panic flashed through Erik's mind. She might not come back after rehearsal! She might never come back to him at all! But no, no - she had stayed with him even after she found out, she had hugged him of her own free will not even an hour ago.

Erik nodded.

"Things- things are just the same between us, I think," he said, trying to hide the tears in his voice.

"Of course," he patted Erik's back, still embracing him. "She seems a very understanding type. This can be a good thing, you know. If she stayed after hearing it, it can only make your relationship stronger."

Erik sniffled. He knew what Nadir meant, but hearing him refer to Erik having a relationship with her made his heart flutter just a little. He pulled away, shamefaced.

"It's almost her cue," he said flatly as he sat back down.

Nadir was quite touched by what had happened. He didn't think he'd ever seen Erik hug anyone in all the long years he'd known him. A far cry from what he had been like in Persia, certainly, and certainly Christine could see that too, even if she didn't fully know what he was like back then. Christine. Nadir watched her as she moved across the stage, her sweet voice filling the entire auditorium. His lips curled into a smile, thinking of how she had behaved with Erik when he had seen them together in Erik's home. Erik might protest it, and the young woman might not even realize it (or had she? She was quite bright, after all), but she was in love with Erik - or at least Nadir thought so. She was too comfortable, too familiar around him to be otherwise. And now, upon hearing such an ugly secret from Erik's past? Erik had said it hadn't changed anything between them. Nadir wondered if he'd receive an invitation to their wedding.

Eventually another singer took over, though Christine was still on the stage. A duet was coming up soon. Erik cast a furtive glance at the Daroga. He truly wished he hadn't cried in front of the man. Perhaps- perhaps he hadn't noticed?

"This fellow is rather good, don't you think?" Nadir whispered to him.

Erik breathed a sigh of relief. Surely he hadn't noticed! No, he would make a huge, unnecessary scene if he had actually caught Erik crying, he was sure of it. A grin formed on his lips. How clever he was, being able to hide his emotions like that! He hadn't lost even a touch of that ghostliness over the years.

"He's not terrible, I suppose," Erik conceded.

Nadir raised an eyebrow at him and how he was smiling. Christine may have helped to soften his temper, but his mood swings were as typical as ever. Practically sobbing on his shoulder one moment, and then smirking a few minutes later? Nadir was certain he'd never understand his strange friend's mind, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Rehearsal eventually ended and the director had the company gather on stage to give what corrections he saw fit. At this late stage, there weren't a lot, but he still had over a dozen.

Christine stood and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her heart pounding. She was certain at any moment he was going to call on her and tell her she was doing poorly. She had failed to hit a note or two, and it ate at her. Still, the correction never came. He finished with his corrections and sent them all away.

She wavered between relief (she was doing just fine, and he hadn't seen anything she needed to improve) and terrible disappointment (she was doing so horribly that he didn't even know where to start in correcting her, and decided improving her was a lost cause). She wrung her hands as she stepped off the stage and made her way towards the dressing rooms.

"Christine!" Meg ran up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She was startled at first, but upon seeing the wicked little grin on Meg's face, she couldn't help but blush. Before she even said it, Christine knew what was on her mind.

"I haven't seen you in your dormitory recently," she teased, and Christine only turned pinker.

"Oh?" she feigned innocence, badly.

Meg giggled, and Christine groaned.

"Oh, Meg - I think-" she chewed her lip. "I think I love him."

Meg froze.

"Who?" she demanded.

Christine hid her face in her hands.

"Erik," she squeaked in a tiny voice, desperately hoping he wasn't eavesdropping on them - this wasn't how she wanted him to find out!

Meg looked confused.

"My teacher," she explained. "My vocal teacher. The one I've- I've been staying with."

"Christine... Does Raoul know?"

She swatted at Meg.

"Raoul doesn't own me!" she frowned. "But - I haven't told him yet. I'm going to, as soon as I see him next. He'll be back from his trip soon, and I felt I should tell him in person, not through a letter."

She placed a hand over her heart.

"Oh, Meg," she sighed. "Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst with it all."

"Aww! That's so sweet! Oh- but how does Erik feel about you? Didn't you say one time that you thought he liked you?"

Christine's brow knit.

"He loves me, Meg," she whispered. "He loves me so very much, I don't think there's anything in the world he wouldn't do for me."

Meg pretended to swoon.

"How romantic! When is the wedding?"

Christine smiled wryly.

"I don't know, really. He's- well, he's rather odd. I don't know how having a wedding will work - he might not want any guests there," she shrugged helplessly.

Meg frowned.

"Well, that's disappointing... But if it's really true love... I suppose a fancy wedding doesn't matter... You'll miss out on cake, though," she shot her friend a doleful look.

Christine sighed and shook her head.

"We can still have cake, Meg. You know I'd never pass up a cake."

The girls giggled and whispered as they walked back to the dressing rooms, and she took her leave of Meg with a long hug before she left for her own dressing room.

She entered it expectantly, and, seeing it empty, her eyes fell on the large mirror. She closed and locked her door, and sure enough right after that the mirror slid back to reveal Erik.

"Was I awful?" she blurted out.

He looked confused.

"Christine, my dear, you were wonderful."

She arched an eyebrow.

"You missed a few notes here and there, you were nervous, but on the whole-" he amended.

She frowned as she fretted over the items on her vanity, pulling the wig off and placing it on the wig stand. She pulled out a cloth and poured some liquid from a bottle onto it and swiped it across her face, removing her makeup.

"You looked beautiful, Christine," he said quietly as he watched her, and her face softened.

She held his eye in the mirror and almost considered telling him right then - she could, after all, hear those same unspoken words in his nearly whispered compliment.

"Do you- do you need me to step out, so you can change?" he offered after a moment.

She shook her head.

"I'll change at h-" at home "at the house, I mean."

He nodded and produced a lantern to guide them - purely for her own benefit, she knew, and she smiled.

"Thank you, Erik."

Erik couldn't help his sidelong glances at her as they made their way to the underground lake. The lantern was plenty bright, it wasn't dark enough in the tunnels to frighten her, and yet she insisted on walking so terribly close to him. She had bumped up against his arm more than once already. It was odd, but his life was already so full of oddities, what was one more? If only they all could be as pleasant as this, he thought.