Chapter 12: Sacred Unique
"I've spent a lifetime running
And I always get away
But with you I'm feeling something
That makes me want to stay."
- Sam Smith
'Writing's On The Wall'
1
The night was long, and most got less than a few hours of sleep, but morning came eventually. It always did. And the birds were chirping, as they always do. And people got up and started working, like they always have.
"I'm a man with a bullet hole in his arm, and I still managed to get up before Arthur Morgan." Javier gave the man a nudge with his leg, waking him from his sleep. Arthur groaned and wiped his face down as he sat up, knowing Javier wasn't going to let him sleep in another five minutes.
"Not all of us have to wake up an hour early to pick out our outfits, Javier."
"Ah, there it is. First words of the day and he's already being snarky." Javier said over his shoulder as he went on his way.
Arthur started to get up, groaning at his complaining joints. Looking around, the gang seemed at peace that morning. Everyone was going about their duties as usual, and there wasn't any passing arguments between Pearson and Sadie, no demands coming from Susan, and no complaints coming from Molly. The air was still thick, but it was like a cramp that you just had to wait out, knowing it would pass. Still, some of the silence was from the absence of Sean. Arthur missed hearing that Irish bastard strolling through camp and being an all round pleasant bother.
He then looked over at the ashes of what was left of last night's campfire. To a pair of new eyes, you wouldn't even be able to tell that a man perished there last night. But to the gang, it will forever be branded in their minds.
He found John standing by the water, and went to join him.
"He still out there?" Arthur asked. John looked over his shoulder at Arthur before looking back out to the lake where Dutch was.
"Been out there all night. Barely moved from what I've seen."
"Jesus. He even alive?" John shrugged, and they both laughed. Laughed the way they used to. Like brothers. Like it's always been.
"I'd go out there and check on him but the last time I stepped foot in a canoe, Uncle shot at it for a joke. I love Dutch, but I ain't gonna drown for him or anyone else."
Arthur laughed a little too hard at this. He rubbed the blooming tears in his eyes and gave John a pat on the back as a condolence.
"Maybe leave the two feet deep water to the professionals next time."
"You're an awful man, Arthur Morgan." The smile on John's face was brighter and more genuine than anything Arthur had seen on him in a long time. It made him feel like, for once, things were actually on the up and up.
"That I am, but I do look out for ya." He pointed at him, looking in his eyes as he stepped into the spare canoe.
"That you do."
2
As Arthur approached Dutch in the larger boat, he paddled in the opposite direction at the last moment to bring the canoe to a stop.
"The view ain't that much different out here than it is on the shore, you know." Arthur noted, not expecting a response, and not getting one either.
He decided to take things slow at first, stepping from his canoe to Dutch's boat and taking a seat opposite him, mirroring his posture.
In those moments, he realised why Dutch was out here for so long. It truly was peaceful. Nothing was as therapeutic as the sound of gentle bodies of water. For a second, Arthur felt a little bad at interrupting the silence and solitude, but he's tired of feeling guilty. At least a few minutes passed before the quiet was broken once more.
"I failed you." Dutch's voice was hoarse and heavy with guilt. "I failed everyone. I guess I wasn't the leader I made myself out to be. I was blinded by that… that scum and his promises. Blinded by the life I had dreamt of. The life I promised all of you. I didn't want to hear any of you tell me the truth, and I turned to him because he was the devil on my shoulder, whispering all the things I wanted to hear." Dutch huffed out a humourless laugh, shaking his head. "I was a fool. I am a fool."
"You were." Arthur agreed, keeping his voice at the same level at Dutch's. "But so was I."
"You knew what Micah was." He whispered, unclear whether he was talking to Arthur or himself.
"Oh, I knew what Micah was, but I sure didn't know what he was capable of. Maybe… Maybe I was so focused on making Kieran one of us that I didn't realise just how bad Micah was turnin'."
"Kieran." Dutch closed his eyes, like every bad memory hit him at once. "He doin' all right?"
"He's doin' fine. Wound will heal in time, we just gotta go easy on 'im." Arthur looked towards the shore where Kieran was eating breakfast with the family.
For the first time, Dutch raised his eyes and took in Arthur's expression. He watched as his eyes danced around the camp, how his lip twitched into small smiles, and the way he breathed slow. It was the look of a peaceful man. This was what Dutch wanted. Not necessarily for himself, but for the gang, and as he stole a glance at the camp himself, he realised that they all shared that look too.
"Arthur, I'm sorry."
The younger turned back to his mentor, seeing nothing but an honest man.
"Don't you start on that, Dutch, you know I don't—"
"No, it's necessary, son. I've said things to you that I should have spared for people like Colm and Micah. Done things to Kieran that I…" Dutch's thoughts trailed off as he watched Kieran mingle amongst the group back on shore. They were all so happy. Why on earth did he ever want to take that away from them?
"I think Kieran carried that weight to Colm for you."
"He sure did." Dutch straightened his back and pulled down his waistcoat. They swayed there, letting the gentle waves rock the boat, just enjoying each other's company for the first time in a long time where there hadn't been tension. They hoped it was over now, but things were still going to take time if they wanted this to work. It took taking a lot of things off of their chests. Not everything right now, but one step at a time would do the trick.
"I'm sorry for lyin' to you, son."
"Lyin'?"
"About knowin' what happened to Kieran." Arthur looked down to his hands, still feeling uneasy about the whole situation that he just wanted to pass. "I knew he never betrayed us, and I did nothing. I should have told you. I should have told everyone. I let an innocent man get taken, and I did nothing to help him. What kind of leader does that make me?"
"One that has learned from his mistakes. One that sees when he's done wrong, and knows not to make them choices again. It makes you human, Dutch, just like us. Colm? He didn't learn from nothin'. That's why he's dead. He ain't no leader, 'cause he ain't nothin'. And you ain't him. We don't expect you to be perfect. I ain't, Kieran ain't. No one is. It's life, ain't it?"
"I suppose you're right." Dutch took in the cold lake air into his lungs and held it there for a moment before letting it free once more. "But my lies almost cost Kieran his life. I almost lost you. You had faith in me, Arthur. You made me what I am, and for that, I thank you. Kieran made you a better person, and I know that now, but back then I thought he was taking you away from us. Ever since he showed up you were always sidin' with him and disagreein' with me. I was afraid of you becoming an O'Driscoll. I know it sounds ridiculous now, but I was an idiot then. It's only because I love you. You're my son, I didn't wanna lose you."
"I know." Arthur said. "I know you didn't." Dutch felt a little more at ease knowing that Arthur accepted him and his apology.
"Kieran's a good kid."
"He is."
"And he makes you happy?"
Arthur turned to look at the distant man once more.
"He does."
"Good." Dutch affirmed. "Don't you let him go, son. Don't you ever let him go."
3
Epilogue - Three months later.
Kieran was sitting on the fence framing his house by Little Creek River and peering through binoculars at a herd of deer. He watched as one lowered his head and nibbled at the grass. The deer's ears flicked back a couple times before raising his head, turning to look behind it. Kieran panned the binoculars to the right and saw Arthur riding in from the distance with Jack sitting in front of him, two buckets held tight in his arms. Kieran smiled and hopped off, hanging the strap of the binoculars on the fence.
"Easy does it." Arthur said, bringing the horse to a stop by the gate. "Okay, you first, kid."
Kieran took the buckets from Jack's arms, and Arthur lifted the kid off his horse before dismounting himself.
"Look, uncle Kieran!" Jack said, pointing at the bucket. "Look what I caught!"
"Well those are some mighty big fish you got there, Jack!" Kieran praised, crouching down and observing the bucket. "You catch them all by yourself?"
"I only needed a little help at first, but I'm practising!"
"You keep doin' that." Kieran ruffled the kid's head. "Soon you'll be able to do it all by yourself."
Jack giggled as John and Sadie came up to visit the three.
"So that's where you disappeared to." John said.
"How're the houses coming along?" Arthur asked.
"Each nail is progress. It feels strange, don't it? Havin' a house."
"Yeah, well it's about time we really settled down proper, you know?"
"I just can't wait until us girls have our own place. I'm sick of hearin' Uncle snorin' next to my tent every night." Sadie said.
"Not even your own four walls can cover up that noise." John joked.
"Well you only gotta deal with it for a little while. You'll be done in no time." Arthur said, wrapping his arm around Kieran's waist.
"Easy for you to say, your house was already built when we got here." Sadie said.
"Well if you wanna stick to tents, be my guest."
"If you wanna lend a hand, be my guest."
"My duties for today are done, I've been fishin'." Arthur said.
"I'd hardly call you a fisherman."
"Hey now, I'll have you know that Kieran is a fantastic fisherman and a fantastic teacher at that." Arthur received a lingering kiss on the cheek in response. "I'm almost as good as he is, in fact."
"Almost." Kieran emphasised.
"Well what do you say we get these to Pearson, huh?" John took one of the buckets of fish from Kieran, nodding to the couple before wandering back with Sadie to the many houses in construction east of the river.
"How about we get a couple of these cookin', and we pass the time until they're ready?"
"Sounds like a deal." Kieran smiled, and Arthur smiled back. Arthur leaned down and caught Kieran's lips in a kiss that spoke promises of what was to come.
"I love you, Kieran Duffy."
"And I love you, Arthur Morgan." Kieran whispered back, stealing one more kiss from the man. With that, they wandered into the house together, their arms linked around each other's waists and smiles stuck on their faces.
They were finally home.