Author's Note: Here we are, almost at the end. An epilogue to follow. And whew, this was a tough one. I love Aang and Katara, but Zuko is my absolute favorite character and I'm enjoying exploring Zuko's relationships with fellow Gaang members. I am so happy to be bring Katara to the end of this emotional roller coaster. Stick with me, we're almost done. ATLA owned by MDD and BK.
After: Avatar Aang
The world was tinged a dark orange. It burned Zuko's pale skin and gave Katara a sickly sepia glow. Even as it faded below the horizon, it still stained the pillars of the balcony they now occupied. Katara stood next to Zuko as he sat on the floor, head limp, leaned back against a pillar. He was in a great deal of pain, she knew, but he had mustered enough strength to quickly snap orders at the confused and panicked Fire Sages in a voice that brooked no opposition. Regardless of who returned, they had to prepare for Zuko's occupation of the Fire Nation palace as the undisputed Fire Lord. If it was Ozai that returned, they had to be prepared to fight him from a place of strength.
Her hands trembled. Ozai isn't going to be the one who returns, she thought furiously. He won't be. It will be Aang. It will be Aang. It will be Aang.
It was a mantra, a prayer, a desperate plea. She had dealt with the alternative once before. The thought of falling into that deep well of grief and anguish set her pulse pounding, coated sweat on her brow, corrupted her focus. Staying present was growing more and more impossible; with each passing moment, her terror for Aang grew more overwhelming. Zuko had managed to appear strong for the sake of the Fire Sages and soldiers present at the end of the Agni Kai, and for that she was grateful, because it was all she could do right now not to join Zuko in a heap on the floor, and let her anxiety and fear consume her.
Katara dug her fingernails into her palm, trying to bring herself back to the moment. Zuko was still breathing heavily with pain, and his torn flesh exposed his muscles and sinew to the open air. As soon as he had delivered his orders, he had slid down a pillar in agony. He needed her attention right now more than Aang did.
"Where can I get water?" she murmured, kneeling down next to him. "Now that we have a moment, you need healing."
Zuko cracked an eyelid. "I thought… you… already did," he said in a voice that was strained with the effort of remaining conscious.
"I did enough to keep you from dying out in that courtyard," she answered. "But that was a temporary fix. If Aang's not the one who- if Aang doesn't…" She broke off, unable to even give voice to the possibility.
He leaned over to touch her comfortingly on the arm, but immediately groaned, doubling over.
She reached for him, laying a hand on his back. "Zuko, we need that water," she said.
He lifted his head up and jerked his chin at a guard who stood posted nearby. "Ask him," he panted, his breath coming in short gasps.
Katara stood and turned to the guardsmen. "You, there," she called, her gentle concern dropping away to assume an aura of command. "I need you to fetch water. Quickly!"
The soldier hesitated, his expression confused and filled with trepidation. Katara understood his fear, but she didn't care. Zuko wasn't out of the woods yet; if she didn't start healing him, he could still die.
"The water!" she demanded forcefully. "Now!"
The soldier turned on a heel, sprinting away from them. Towards water, I hope, thought Katara darkly. She turned back to Zuko, hands going to his face to gently lift it upwards.
"Zuko, I'm so sorry, but I need you to straighten out so I can look at your wound. Lay down on the floor, that's it. Good. We'll take this slow."
He nodded, eyes screwed shut against the pain.
When Aang had been struck by lightning (by the same person, she realized, scowling), he had spent weeks unconscious. She had revived him from the dead only for him to fall into a deep coma as his body and spirit healed itself, and she had taken advantage of his unconsciousness to begin tending his wounds as soon as they had encountered water outside Ba Sing Se. He had spent the weeks moaning in his sleep, his body burning with pain even as Katara burned in fear for him.
She couldn't imagine the strength and willpower it was taking Zuko to stay awake, but she was terrified that he would let himself fall into a coma. If Zuko didn't stay conscious, if he didn't live, the Fire Sages or an overzealous Palace Guard could claim that his Agni Kai was moot and release Azula. Even worse, if it was Ozai that returned, Katara would be forced to either flee or fight with Zuko as dead weight. Ozai and his crazy daughter would surely catch or kill them both.
"Where's that water?!" she called into the empty passageway the soldier had run down. She turned back to Zuko. "I need you to stay conscious. You have to stay awake."
"Trying," he panted. "Keep talking. It helps."
"Ok, ok, ummm…" she examined the bleeding and broken edges of his abdominal wound. There was plenty for her to talk about; fears swirled around the forefront of her mind, battling their way past her lips to give voice to the darkness she felt. Aang could be dead, her brother and Toph and Suki along with him. Zuko himself could die. But she doubted Zuko wanted a reminder of all that, so she opted for something a little lighter. Something that had been sitting in the back of her mind, tugging at her consciousness, since it had happened several days before. Something that left her equal parts hopeful and confused. "Did you know that Aang kissed me? On Ember Island."
He nodded minutely. "Yea, he told me," he murmured.
Katara blinked. "He did?" His muscles were still intact, that was good. She prayed to the spirits that he didn't have any damage to his organs.
"I made him… said you were upset…"
"I was upset," she agreed. "The middle of a war didn't seem like a good time to be making declarations of love to one another." His heart rate was weak but steady, that was more than she'd hoped for.
"And what about… now?" he asked weakly.
She paused her examination. Now? Now, she wished she had held onto him, kissed him longer, deeper. What if he never came back? What if the last time she ever saw him was two days ago, before he had disappeared? What if she'd spent so much time worried about what would happen after the war that she had blinded herself to what was right in front of her?
Several days before, as Aang's lips had met hers on Ember Island, she had immediately experienced two battling emotions: A love for Aang that grew stronger and fiercer by the moment, at war with an all-encompassing sense of responsibility. Aang was the Avatar, Sozin's Comet was days away, and no matter what they felt for one another, the burgeoning of a new relationship should not be the epicenter of their focus when the fate of the world was balanced on their success or failure.
"I still don't know," she said, her voice unsteady.
The sound of uneven footsteps echoed up the passageway. She whipped around and saw the soldier had returned, carrying a heavy bucket that sloshed over the sides with water.
"Bring it over here," she commanded.
The soldier obliged, dropping the bucket unceremoniously next to her. He stood above them awkwardly, as if he wasn't sure what to do next.
"Thanks. Now go away."
Clearly thankful for task direction, the soldier returned to the post he had previously occupied.
Katara bent the water to Zuko's abdomen, guiding it deep within him to search for damage within his internal organs. She breathed a sigh of relief. The damage was manageable. She healed the inflammation, soothing swelling before it could impede organ function, and started on the much larger project of healing the flesh that exposed the muscles and tissues of his abdomen.
His face immediately began to relax. His eyes, which moments before had been clenched shut to ward off the pain, softened, and only an anxious furrow above his brow remained. "That feels better," he sighed.
"You're going to have a nasty scar," she warned him.
"Oh no, not a scar," he mumbled sarcastically. His eyes were still shut, so he didn't catch the face she made at him. "Why don't you know?"
"What?"
"Why don't you know how you feel about Aang? I know how you feel about him. Toph and your brother know how you feel about him."
"This has been a topic of discussion, has it?" she grumbled. The upper portion of the wound, just below his pectoral muscles, was the worst of the it. She focused her attention there.
"Anyone with working eyes can see how you feel about one another." He peered at her wearily. "Even a person who doesn't have working eyes can see how you feel about each other."
"I'm glad you're feeling well enough to make jokes," she said. "I think I might have preferred near-death Zuko; he was much quieter."
"I guess you have a good reason for being so edgy… but Aang's going to be okay."
She frowned, worry flooding her again. "How do you know?"
"I just know."
Despite his weak voice, he sounded confident.
She wanted to believe him. "You're very optimistic for someone who's getting an emergency healing session on the floor of the Fire Nation palace so you don't die."
"And you're trying to change the subject."
Tension radiated from her, gathering to the point of panic.
"I can't," she cried, her voice anguished.
Zuko propped himself up on one elbow, wincing in pain.
"Don't sit up," she started, but he held up a hand to stop her.
"Katara, what's stopping you? Seriously, what is it? Because if you think I don't understand, I do. You and Aang had jobs to do; but the jobs are done now. It will either be Aang who comes back… or it won't. And if it is Aang, what is standing in your way besides fear of the unknown? We're at the point of no return here. We're past it, actually. He loves you, and he will come back. And when he does, the only thing standing between you and your happiness is that you're afraid things will be different."
"Lean back, you have to lean back," she whispered miserably, trying desperately to avoid hearing the truth in his words. "You'll hurt yourself." She pushed gently at his shoulder with one hand to lay him down. The other hand wiped at the tears in her eyes.
"You're hurting yourself, Katara. Let yourself love him. You don't always need to be the responsible one. You can be the one who follows her heart, too. Just… think about it."
She did. For the two days that followed, she deliberated. She weighed a life time of being the 'responsible one', and weighed her fear of the change in their relationship. She considered those things against the greater, deeper, more powerful fear that she would never hold him in her arms, whisper that she loved him, and hear him whisper those words back to her. The indecision was a knife, and it cut at her at all hours of the day. It sliced her during healing sessions with Zuko. It tore through flesh and bone during emergency meetings with the Fire Nation's high council. It drew blood as she and Zuko sat up late at night reading the reports that came pouring in from all over the world via messenger hawk. Every part of her was raw, every emotion at its most extreme, and she knew the only balm against her agony would be Aang's return.
And then the messenger hawk arrived from Wulong Forest, stating that the Avatar and his friends were returning, successful, to the Fire Nation. She drew in a ragged gasp of relief, feeling that she could breathe again for the first time since Aang had disappeared days before, even as an apprehensive weight settled over her chest, over her heart. He was coming back; what now? Would she hug him, kiss his cheek, the way she had after the Siege of the North? Would she hold him close and allow her feelings to swallow her whole, the way she had after the Fall of Ba Sing Se?
Deep down, she knew the decision was already made. Her heart knew what it wanted. And the realization started with her imagination, a simple little daydream. One moment, Zuko was reading the scroll pulled from the messenger hawk's small message tube. 'Avatar Aang and friends returning, arrival to Fire Nation Capitol in three days'. The next moment, her mind was racing ahead of her, and she saw herself pulling Aang to her and shouting, 'I love you, I love you, I love you', over a thunderous crowd again and again and again, until her voice was hoarse and there was nothing left of them but the fact that they were together, at last, at last.
Because this is big, she realized. Because it's real.
So when the airship pulled into the terminal a few days later, surrounded by crowds of soldiers from all existing nations, she stood amongst them, waiting, and doubt no longer gnawed at her.
He stepped off the airship. Healthy. Whole. She took a breath. And another, and another. His eyes met hers through the crowd. And then the thought of taking another breath without him in her arms wasn't bearable anymore. There had never been a decision to make. There was only one choice. The choice that brought them together, the one that would never separate them again. What came next didn't matter; there was only now, and she didn't want to waste another moment.
She ran to him, vision tunneling. He saw her moving toward him, and his arms were open for her before she reached him. They came together with a jolt, a crashing of bodies, a joining of hearts, her cheeked pressed against his and one of his hands going into her hair as the other hand pulled her against him with all his strength.
"You came back," she whispered. It wasn't like her daydream, not exactly. But he could hear it in her voice, she knew. She could have said anything in that moment, and it would have sounded exactly the same. "You came back to me," she whispered again. 'I love you'.
The crowd was thunderous. The confused chatter of Fire Nation soldiers and the cheers of Earth Kingdom soldiers and the scant Water Tribe warriors mingled together, but she knew he heard her.
"I came back," he responded just as quietly, his breath soft against her cheek. "I came back."