A/N: Carina…Morgan…Gertrude…Casey…Beard…Chef's Hat…that's a lot of ladyfeelings.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

Chuck and Sarah sat at breakfast, refusing to look up, staring at their food. Zondra stared at Carina, who was checking her hair – again – in a mirror. That wasn't what had shocked everyone. She was humming. That, too, wasn't that unusual. It was what she was humming. Carina turned toward the three, and smiled.

"See ya," she said, as she waggled her fingers at them. She walked out the door. Zondra spun to Chuck and Sarah.

"What the hell was that?" she asked.

"It was Carina," Chuck answered cautiously.

"Chuck," she growled.

He cleared his throat, and swallowed uncomfortably. "If I was forced to guess, it was Carina," Zondra glared at him, "humming." The glare intensified. "I think the song was Storybook Love." Zondra got out of her chair and walked over behind Chuck, her eyes boring into him.

"Are you gonna help me?" he asked Sarah.

"You stared this, and I can't always save you," Sarah told him.

"What if she tried to kiss me?" Chuck asked.

"I'd kill her," Sarah replied sweetly.

"Good to know," Chuck replied. He glanced at Zondra, who had moved even closer. He felt like she was towering over him. "ItsthesongfromThePrincessBride," he rushed out.

"Damn it," she growled, slapping the counter.

"You don't want her to be happy?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, I do," Zondra replied. "But tell me something Sarah; when have you ever known Carina to be happy, in a normal relationship?" Sarah started to answer, paused, started again, and stopped. "Exactly."

"So, wait: We're going to see Carina basically go through the eighth-grade romance, in front of our eyes, with Morgan?" Chuck asked. Zondra nodded.

"I think we should transfer," Chuck told Sarah.

"You don't trust Morgan?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, I trust him. It's just that between him and Carina questioning everything… how will we get any studying done?" Chuck pointed out.

"Ohhhh," Sarah replied.

}o{

"Hey," he heard a whisper a few hours later. He looked up from the book his head was currently buried in. He was at the library, not wanting to go home, because he didn't want to have to deal with Morgan, Carina, Casey, or Zondra. "I can't seem to find my husband, and I have certain needs… wanna do it in the…" she looked around and leaned in, "Special Collections Room?"

"Ma'am, I'm a happily married man," Chuck replied, "so I absolutely would." He grinned, and then the grin fell. "Wait, are you serious? Have I not been-"

"Chuck, chill," Sarah said, laughing. "I do realize you've been avoiding the apartment, but not me." She ran her hand through his hair. "I honestly have no complaints."

"Well, you're either at the gym, or studying, and Morgan needs to talk, or Zondra is glaring at me about Carina, or Carina is trying to ask me questions about movies and being sneaky about it so it's not even making sense, or-"

"Wait, back up," Sarah said. "What is Carina doing?"

"She asked me if I thought Spider-Man was better in the Avengers or Justice League," Chuck began, exasperated.

"Poor guy," Sarah said, rubbing his hand. "Everyone knows he's better as a member of the Teen Titans." She batted her eyes at him.

"Ha! Joke's on you!" he told her. "You thought that would upset me, but it proved you knew Spider-man is Marvel, and Teen Titans is DC, so that's extra hot!"

"What's DC?" Sarah asked, giving him the blankest look she could.

"Woman," he said in a low voice, making her giggle. He looked around and motioned for her to come nearer. She sat down right beside him, and leaned in. "When I was a sophomore, I was in here late one night and I'm pretty sure a couple was… you know."

"Playing twister?" Sarah asked.

"No," Chuck replied, giving her a look.

"Oh, oh, I know!" she said. "Playing hopscotch, those hooligans."

"Hooligans?" Chuck asked.

"I'm a linguist," she told him, preening.

"Don't I know it," Chuck said in a low voice, making her shiver. He sighed. "What do we do about our apartment?"

"What do you want to do?" she asked him. He shrugged. "It will calm down, eventually." She tilted her head. "Are you sorry you dropped that class, so you can't finish early?"

"No," Chuck said, shaking his head. "But, for the love of God, you do realize that we have three people, one who doesn't even live with us, constantly wanting relationship advice? From us? I mean… come on!"

"We got there, eventually," she said, playing with the hem of his shirt, grinning at him. "You're worried about Morgan and Carina."

"I am," Chuck admitted. "And Casey," he added. "He keeps muttering about Gertrude and the Collective. I don't think they're related, except they both frustrate him."

"Come on," she said, pulling on his arm. "Come to the gym with me. Talk to Gertrude before class."

"I should drop out of your class," Chuck told her. "You waste too much time on me."

"No, you're my project," she said with a grin. "If I can get you in shape, I can anyone."

"Your words hurt," he told her.

"But my kisses make it alllll better," she said in a low, sultry voice. She got up, and began to walk off, when she realized he wasn't with her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said, looking around. "I'm just gonna need a minute."

She grinned, proudly.

}o{

Scotty Kelso watched as Sarah walked around the class, helping everyone, except her husband, who had his own personal… stretcher? Sarah kept looking over at her husband, and smirking. "Mrs. Walker," Scotty said in a low voice. "Is everything all right with you two?"

"It's fine," Sarah assured him. "She's my boss, and our friend is wanting to date her. He's driving my husband crazy. So, she's agreed to ask him out, after she sees how far Chuck has come in this class."

"Mrs. Walker…" Scotty began, looking over at Chuck. "He's never stretched like that, that far… he might pull something, or pop something."

"Her conditions, and Chuck thought it was worth it," Sarah told him, widening her eyes. She grinned at Scotty's chuckling.

"He's that tired of being asked about her?"

"Yup!" Sarah said. "Now, I have other students," she told him. "You're doing a great job."

"Thank you," Scotty said. He looked over at Chuck and winced.

"He's going to cramp later," Sarah muttered.

"Gertrude, I don't think that part of the male body was ever meant to touch the floor in that manner," Chuck said, doing the splits.

"Hush, Chuck," Gertrude chided, smirking. "And before this class, you have never had any formal training?"

"Zondra taught me how to fight a little… actually, Sarah did, but Zondra thought she was being too easy on me," Chuck admitted. "Seriously, I think I'm tearing something."

"How did it end?" Gertrude asked.

"Me ripping my who-hah, apparently," Chuck groaned.

"Fine, that's enough," she said, shaking her head at him. "Now how did the fighting lessons end?"

"A bag of peas, first on my eye, and then… you know what, I may buy a case tonight, and use them in the same place." Gertrude's eyes went wide, and Chuck realized what he had implied.

"Oh my God!" He turned red. "No, you misunderstood. I called Zondra, 'Z', and she hates being called 'Z'. I kept doing it, and she warned me. And then she dropped the frozen peas down my pants. More shoved them down there. No inappropriate touching or anything," he rushed out, spiraling.

"Well, that took longer than I expected," Sarah said, walking by. Gertrude gave her a look. "Him to stick his foot in his mouth, and start spiraling."

"Joke's on you… she's stretched me out so much, I can literally put my foot in my mouth… Not that I'd actually ever want to, because…" he trailed off. "You know what, I'm gonna shut up, because some people enjoy that stuff, and I don't kink-shame."

Gertrude blinked.

"It's not my fault, I have dopamine running through my brain."

"And why do you have dopamine running through your brain?" Sarah asked.

"This workout of stretching," Chuck insisted.

Sarah squatted down to look him directly in the eyes. "We both know you and I have had much more strenuous workouts than you stretching your legs." She used a low tone, but one that Gertrude heard. The older woman chuckled, and looked away.

"Sarah," he hissed. "Not in front of your boss!"

"Please, please, don't mind me," Gertrude begged. "I am truly enjoying this."

"You're gonna ask Casey out?" Sarah asked, looking up to her. Gertrude nodded. Sarah turned back to Chuck. "Mission accomplished. We'll debrief later," she said with a wink.

"I don't wear briefs," Chuck replied. "You know that." Sarah stared at him, as Gertrude roared with laughter.

"IT'S THE DOPAMINE!"

A/N: If you looked really, really, really, really, really, really hard amongst all the fluff there was a kernel of plot. Just the smallest mention. Maybe it was a crumb. Thanks for all the support and love on this one, and all the others. Be back soon with more insane Chuck and Sarah and the Stanford graduate years.