Chapter Twelve: Euphoria

Chuck was more surprised than anyone else to hear Blair's very public declaration. In truth, they'd been hiding it mostly for her sake. He, of course, never wanted to lose Nate, so he'd agreed to the secrecy. Their game of cat and mouse had had its perks for the last month, though they both knew the day of Cotillion that it was so much more than a game. Both were constantly hoping they wouldn't get hurt. They had manipulated and lied to so many people. They had always been different to each other when it came to scheming, but there was so much on the line emotionally. For Blair, every ounce of the reputation she had carefully crafted would be exposed for the ridiculous amount of effort that had gone into faking it. She was still powerful, but nothing is ever as perfect as her dream life with Nate could have looked. For Chuck, he would be exposed as someone who could love. Before her, that would have been the most embarrassing thing for someone with his reputation. But there was nothing to be ashamed about when it came to how he felt about Blair. He loved her; he'd told her as much. She was the first person who had ever chosen him when every odd was against that decision. He'd never been a priority for anyone. But Blair Waldorf had just told their entire world that she loved him. It was horrible to Nate, but Chuck Bass couldn't remember the last time he'd been that happy.

Serena's blue eyes widened as she stared at her best friend. "B. Outside. We're all going outside. Please."

Blair's face was horribly serious. Nate's face was shocked. Serena's face was second-hand embarrassed. Chuck's face was unreadable, and B kept glancing up at him for boosts of support even if she couldn't gauge a reaction. She was holding onto the fact that he had said it first, that he had had the courage to be honest with her when the emotional scars caused by Nate were talking back to him. "The damage has been done, S."

After a dangerous silence and no immediate sign of anyone following Serena's suggestion, Nate laughed. "This can't be real. You realize how crazy this sounds, right? I mean…Chuck, you've never liked anyone. And Blair…" he didn't finish his sentence, but she felt every ounce of the weight of what he wanted to say.

And she pitied him. But she was tired of it always being about Nate. She was tired of them doing well when he wanted them to be doing well, and them breaking up or slowing down when he wanted to. In every other aspect of her life, she set the pace, but not with him. It was always about what Nate wanted until she had gotten up on the stage at Victrola and tasted freedom. "We never wanted this to hurt you. Ever. You've always been so special to me, but…" she looked directly at Chuck. "I needed someone who thought I was special too. The most special person in the world."

Penelope forced her way into the circle of people that had gathered around them. "Blair, you can't be serious."

"Oh, do not even get me started, Penelope. You've coveted someone else's boyfriend for years, so don't pass judgment on me for returning affection actually being given to me." Blair said coldly, a touch of a smile at the corners of her mouth. "It won't work out in your favor."

Serena looked over at Chuck as she mulled over all the information she had been sitting on from her night being escorted by him. All the advice he'd wanted. She was hurt that B hadn't told her, but she also knew that whatever was between them now was extremely out of character for the two people in her life who never deviated from their nature. There was no reason for them to be saying these things outside of needing to express them. Chuck's face was full of hope and that was enough to convince S.

Nate squared his shoulders in front of Chuck, whose jaw was still stinging. He looked betrayed rather than angry, and his voice was slow and careful. "I think the worst part of it is that you didn't give a shit about my feelings. You let me believe that you were taking her for my sake. That you were just looking out for her, while I basically let you guys see each other. It must have been really funny from your end."

Chuck clenched his jaw. "Nobody was laughing at you."

"How long have you liked her, man?" Nate asked softly. "The entire time?"

Chuck braced himself to be punched again as he said, "About as long as you've liked Serena."

The blonde boy's nostrils flared but he only looked down at the floor. "I don't trust that. You don't like people. And, the girls you do surround yourself with…are nothing like Blair."

"It wasn't a planned thing. I was interested but I would have never made a move."

Serena blinked and asked Blair, "So…did you start this, B? I didn't know you felt anything more than disgust toward Chuck."

Blair glanced around at all the faces who were listening to her then. She had nothing left to lose but she was the entire fucking universe, and she was going to be honest with herself for the first time in her life. "I didn't, at first. But we've always been best friends, and he challenges me, and I guess I just hadn't paid enough attention to my worth to notice when someone respected and wanted me. I didn't know how to…lean into that."

Nate bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm sorry it sounds like you think I treated you so horribly."

She smiled, softly but honestly, and her words were as sincere as they'd ever been. "I don't think you ever wanted to hurt me, Nate, but you didn't love me. We weren't for each other, and it was a pretty idea and I let that justify how I was being treated." Once again, Blair looked up at Chuck while addressing Nate. "I didn't treat you so well the past few weeks, either. I was lying to myself about what I wanted because it was such a big change and I never planned for it to happen. I plan everything. But this caught me off guard." Chuck smirked at her.

He pondered her words silently for a moment. "Why the hell did you give me the key for tonight?" Nate asked his best friend. She sounded like a different person, someone who cared and put thought into every sentence in order to be more genuine than she'd ever been with him. It hurt that this was what her unfiltered thoughts were, but it also communicated a lot to him about how unhappy they'd always been. He knew that he had wanted Serena, that he was restless while with Blair, and that it seemed like everyone else had more control over their relationship than he did. But he hadn't stopped to consider if Blair wasn't content, either. He could tell that she was different after they broke up, but he didn't know that it was because it was the first time she'd ever been happy.

Chuck sighed and rubbed his jaw with his thumb. "I wanted this night to be everything Blair had ever dreamed of."

Serena blinked again. "Even though you wanted it to be with you?"

"Even then." He looked over at Blair, and everyone in the room felt the emotions held in their gazes. "When you love someone, you don't feel like it's your place to tell them what will make them happy. You hope its you, but it might not be, and all you can do is want what they want."

Blair felt pressure behind her eyes, but she would be damned if Chuck Bass made her happy cry in front of everyone. She only nodded and took a deep breath, letting her dark eyes tell Chuck that he was what she wanted.

He'd needed it so badly, a lot longer than their month together. He'd needed to be loved and to learn to love someone. He had toyed with the idea of Blair, the unobtainable Queen B, for years. He'd watched her and Nate be unhappy, he'd watched them fool around thinking they could be, and still he knew that whatever they had had was better than being alone. He'd thought about what things with Blair could be like, them laying in her bed watching Audrey Hepburn movies and him knowing that she had a scrapbook somewhere with their future kids' names in it. But he never imagined that he would be this invested in the reality of someone rather than the idea. It wasn't what anyone would have guessed for him, least of all himself, but she was perfect. She was everything, and she seemed to know that now. And she wanted him. Finally.

C and B, sitting in a tree, making sure Cotillion wasn't drama free. I do have to thank Chuck, Blair, and Nate for giving all of us quite a show, as I received the most tips about one piece of gossip I ever have. Blair traded being a Kennedy for being a Capone, but even I must admit that they do look happy together. Will it last? Only time will tell. Xoxo.

Later that night, they stood on the balcony together. The night air was freezing, though Blair still had a little bit of the champagne blanket to keep her warm as they looked down at Manhattan. Beside her, Chuck pulled out a flask and she laughed heartily. "You are such a liar. Serena wouldn't be very pleased."

At the sound of her laugh, he grinned and shrugged. "She's done worse, and she would've had a much less enjoyable time had I not been drinking all day. Trust me."

B's smile remained as she shook her head. She'd be partially responsible for the raging liver failure he would go through one day, but she ignored that and looked up at the sky. Not a cloud was in sight. The moon stared down at them and the stars with it, as though the entire universe was interested in what they were going to say to each other.

"Do you think he hates us?" she asked in a small voice.

Chuck shrugged lightly. "I don't think we're his favorite people right now. We basically cuckolded him in front of the entire Upper East Side."

Her nose scrunched at that word. She didn't like the agency it took away from her, but she didn't fight that. She only sighed and added, "Is it horrible that I wouldn't change it?"

"No," he said, smirking. It would only be horrible if you would. "I do feel bad for Serena, in a way. She was oblivious to all of it, and I used her friendship with you to get her to play along."

She nodded. "But I'm glad you did." Blair tried to hide the slight chill she felt as the night air began to make her sober up, though her cheeks gave her away. Without a word, he shed his black tuxedo jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders as one would do to a child. It was unexpectedly sweet. Her brows knit slightly, and there were a million different thoughts running through her head now that they were alone. For some reason, the one that made it to her mouth was, "I was really jealous when I thought you slept with Celina Sheridan."

"Oh, I know, Waldorf." He smirked, pleased. They walked over to the edge of the roof so that they could look down at the busy city life that buzzed around the hotel. Blair placed her hands on the cold ledge, wondering what exactly she was doing. Chuck must have been wondering the same thing, for he asked, "So, what happens next?"

Blair was caught off guard by her lack of answer despite her strong feelings, and she knew he saw her noticeably swallow, "I don't know. I really haven't ever had to deal with something like this."

"This is one area where I have even less experience than you do." Chuck offered her his flask. "You've loved someone."

"Yes, but I haven't loved Nate for weeks, if I ever really loved him."

Chuck arched a brow at her. "Kindergarten. Literally kindergarten."

Blair shook her head and shrugged. "I loved the idea of having his babies, and being his perfect Stepford wife, attending charity balls and Vanderbilt events."

He loosely knew the answer, but he probed, "So, what changed?"

"I realized I'm too powerful to be a Stepford wife, for one. That doesn't give me much room for an empire of my own," Blair said after a very powerful gulp of whatever aged alcohol he had been drinking. She sighed heartily and licked the corners of her mouth, realizing how comfortable she must be to do that in front of him.

He couldn't help but smirk. "Well, if it's an Empire you want-"

"Don't interrupt, no matter how much I set myself up for that one," Blair said, hiding a smile. The comment reminded her that they were best friends before anything. His hand was brushing against hers on the ledge, though not through conscious effort. They were side by side, equals, and the situation made it seem the most natural juxtaposition in existence. "And…I realized that even if I wasn't powerful, I didn't want to be just another society wife to just another man who didn't understand me. I deserve someone who puts just as much thought into me as I do into him. It's so much bigger than gifts and parties and paparazzi. It's...different. It's intangible. It must be earned and can't be bought."

"All of those things are true. You are powerful. You're the only person who could change everything I've ever known," Chuck said thoughtfully. "You're better than being an accessory to Nate."

She was all too aware that everything she'd been saying had to do with her, her life, and how he fit into it. But it was more than that, and she was trying to muster up the words so that they could be spoken and understood as deeply as they were felt. "And then you told me to dance, and you watched me do it. You never looked away from me." Chuck stood from where he had been slightly leaning on the ledge. With only his vest on over the pristine white dress shirt and golden tie, he looked exquisite. She couldn't believe that she hadn't seen it before Victrola, no matter how many times she told herself she just hadn't been looking. She must have been fucking blind. "And you…showed me all of the things I'd been ignoring."

"About yourself or about me?"

B blushed honestly. "Both. You made me love us."

He squared his shoulders, and she did the same so that they were facing each other. There was nowhere for her to look but up at him. His brown eyes were very serious then, as if the outcome of the night had meant something completely different to him than it had to her. She felt slight panic, having no idea what he would say next, but his words were firm in their sincerity. "You've made me love myself."

There was, once again, unwelcomed pressure behind her eyes. She swallowed hard. There was more in that sentence than anyone else would have heard. Chuck Bass had never loved anyone, least of all himself. She smiled and the wind blew her hair out of her face, letting her drink in the delicious smell of his jacket around her shoulders.

He took a step toward her, completely replacing any thoughts she had swirling around her head. With all the sweetness and gentleness in the world, Chuck bent down to place a kiss on her lips. It was fleeting, and the chill in the air made her lips immediately sting from his mouth's absence. It was better than any daydream that she had clung to for years. "It would be stupid not to love you, and I feel stupid for saying that because it took me so long to admit."

"You say stupid, but I hear my favorite words." He placed another kiss on her cheek and she buzzed from it.

She wanted him to know everything she'd been thinking about him now that her mind was letting her be happy. His movements were delicious, and she wanted him to know. "You're surprisingly very good with words of affirmation, Bass."

"Of course I am," another kiss on her jaw, "You're constantly giving me something to say."

She felt his tongue run down the side of her neck and she cried out to the sky. Everything in the universe, in that moment, wanted her to love him. And everything in her did. Things were quite complicated, but she knew they would figure them out. She fought her attention span to continue their back and forth, enjoying their openness as much as she could. "You're constantly reminding me that other clever people exist."

"I'm not convinced they do. It might just be us." He placed both thumbs on her chest and lightly pulled the jacket from her shoulders.

She shimmied out of it and pressed herself against him. "That's just enough for me."

"Chuck and Blair," he mused as he looked up and down her frame.

"Blair and Chuck," she corrected him immediately, suddenly not cold at all. They had never been more cliché or more endearing.

They ducked into the penthouse of the hotel and automatically walked over to the most comfortable king bed Blair had ever touched. It was the perfect place for a night she had been thinking about for weeks. Chuck made sure that candles were lit, champagne was cold, and nobody, not even Gossip Girl, could disturb them. It was heaven. Once again, he was kissing her neck, her collarbone also calling to his lips as he whispered, "You're persistent in getting what you want. I've always admired it."

She moaned quietly, her fingers tingling with the need to strip him of his vest. "You've always been brilliant, but you should give yourself more of a chance." He continued to kiss her, and she stared at his strong right shoulder with wonder. "Like with Victrola, for example."

"Victrola has turned out to be my most brilliant idea yet."

She stepped away long enough to unzip her Cotillion gown. This time, stripping in front of him was a lot less public, but a lot more exciting. She was doing it because she wanted to, not to get back at Nate and not to make a statement to strangers, to herself. She only wanted to be in that room with that man, and the beautiful dress fell to the floor slowly.

Chuck caught his sigh in his throat, not wanting to act too surprised. He'd seen her naked, he'd seen her in a uniform, he'd seen her in a slip up on a stage. But that night, she was wearing a beautiful Carine Gilson red and white silk set, and the blush in her cheeks matched the blood rushing to his head at the sight of her. "Exquisite."

She smiled and lifted a hand to undo some of the pins in her hair. She began to tease him to deflect all the attention she felt. "Well, Bass, this is your last chance to decide-"

He cut her off by closing any space between them and kissing her with an unwavering amount of enthusiasm. She released a small gasp at the sudden kiss, but quickly melted against it, ready for their perfect Cotillion night after everything else had crumbled to get them there. His right hand outlined the side of her body, beginning with her thigh and tracing up to her breast. She blinked her eyes closed so that she could relax into the moment, only thinking about the intense amount of pleasure she was feeling. He was the exquisite one.

She ran her fingers through his hair and felt an involuntary chill up her spine as he continued his actions. His hands rose to cup her face, and the kiss this time was as tender as possible. In unison, they whispered, "I love you," and everything felt meant to be.

It was Blair's turn to shower him in kisses. She leaned up toward him, first pressing her lips lightly on his left temple and then trailing down his jaw line. Colors exploded behind his eyelids as she continued, and he relaxed into the feeling of Blair Waldorf giving him every ounce of attention and affection she had. She pressed a quick kiss on his lips and then one on his chin, her hands undoing the buttons of his shirt all the while.

She had been thinking of doing what she was about to do for a while. It was intimidating, for sure, but she wasn't nervous to learn what he liked. She wanted to know. She wanted to know how he tasted, how he sounded, all of it. Finally, her hand pressed against him, and he understood immediately that he was getting the message to take his pants off. He did so smoothly. Not quickly, but with enough care that she could feel his excitement through his movements.

"Are you…sure?" he asked as he realized what she was about to do, eyes wide. That had become her favorite question from him, for it was always so innocent, so concerned.

She nodded and lowered her mouth to him, taking her time letting her lips close over the tip. She flicked it purposefully with her tongue and he shuddered, one strong hand tangling itself in her hair, silently urging her to continue. Blair looked up at him as she continued to focus on just the tip - as she'd heard to do - and it was visibly driving him wild. She hesitated to fully take him into her mouth, glancing up at his face every few seconds to see if she was doing ok.

"Don't overthink it, Waldorf. You're perfect," he growled out.

She got fully on her knees in front of him so that she could stare straight into his eyes as she fully went down on him. He moaned, deeply and loudly, and his entire body seemed to twitch at her touch. She loved it. She continued pulling away and sinking her mouth back down, sucking deeply and running the tip of her tongue down the length of him at the same time. Chuck began to beg, to stop midsentence, to throw his head back. She drank in the power, wondering how she would ever be able to top the pleasure she felt then. His hand snaked down and grabbed one of her breasts through the lingerie, giving it a small squeeze. It threw her into more of a fit of ecstasy over her own influence. She drove him to the brink of sanity and back, varying her speed, letting him tell her what he liked with his hand on her neck and his hips tensing every few seconds. Her own midsection began to tighten at the idea of how many times she would be able to do that and much more throughout the night.

Just before he was about to collapse into the feeling of Blair Waldorf's mouth, he pulled her up and flipped her onto her back. She let out an excited wheeze at how quickly it happened, and he began to kiss her perfect lips silly. He was so happy and so turned on. Impossibly turned on. The entire month had built up to what he knew was going to be an exhausting and incredibly generous session.

Slowly and decidedly, he lets his hands wander over his body, undoing the ties of the set she was wearing. She was staring at his face and he at hers, neither of them thinking about time. Once they were both naked, Chuck positioned himself between her legs, his amber eyes asking her for consent. She snuggled into the bed, preparing herself for the experience she was about to have. Their first time in a bed that they could stay in, that they could continue to be together in for the entire night. It felt like home as she leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose, urging him on. "I need you, Chuck."

He braced himself before placing himself at her entrance. He knew that he would have to use extreme self-control in order to make it as memorable a night as she deserved. He looked straight into her eyes and watched her mouth fall open as he sank into her, warmth spreading over the entirety of his body at the feeling of it. She was so tight, tighter than he remembered, even, and his vision went blurry as he pulled out of her only to enter again a moment later. She released a sigh, and it was at once the most angelic and erotic thing his ears had ever heard. They fit together unbelievably well. Every part of him touched a part of her that needed to be touched, internally and externally. A cadence developed quickly between them, and Blair raised her hips up to meet his, thrust for thrust, as they both released groans of relief.

He was on top of her, pinning her body so that her knees were on either side of her head. She bit her lower lip in a desperate attempt to curb some of the pleasure, for she feared she was near collapse with it. He continued to thrust down into her, in and out in a rhythmic, dominant fashion. It blew her mind how long she'd gone without feeling this, and she wanted it to never end. It was odd but satisfying that she knew they could do this whenever they wanted to, without guilt or shame.

It didn't even occur to her to feel insecure. His hands gripped hers and he pulled them down, closer to his legs, so that she was unable to move or ignore the sensations radiating throughout her body. She began to beg, then, feeling her toes curl up and her mind go colorful as he continued and continued to do things to her. Wonderful things. She was calling out his name, both a demand and a question, and he released one of her hands so that his thumb could find her clit. Everything went wild, then. Every imaginable color exploded in her eyes and she was no longer in control of anything. She was Blair Waldorf, not in control, but completely happy. Completely satisfied. She came hard from the combination of being pinned, being fucked, and being teased with his fingers. Chuck smirked deviously as he watched her face twist with euphoria, a kiss immediately ready to sooth her whimpers.

It was true that very little else matters when you're in love. Chuck felt that throughout his entire body. He knew that things would be different, that Nate may not talk to them, that Gossip Girl would be watching their every move. It didn't matter because at the heart of it all, he'd gotten Blair to see her worth and see that they were completely magnetic. She'd been beautiful while unobtainable but she was even more attractive in his arms. Nothing about the sex was worried with what felt good to him (even though it all did), but rather what he wanted her to know. He wanted to make her feel all the pleasure she deserved. Where had that desire inside of him come from? He didn't know and he didn't care; all that mattered was that he was being given the gift of making her feel worshipped on a night that he had mentally prepared to be very upsetting for him. But, then again, nothing had ever upset his lifestyle more than kissing Blair Waldorf.

"Do…that…again."

It's been a wild, delayed ride, Upper East Siders, but all's well that ends well. Hope this is a great conclusion to your weekend!

Xoxo

M