Chapter 12

Pride - Loneliness

My eyes opened…I was in my…Room

"...did the save points switch?" I murmured out unintentionally

I glanced down feeling pressure on my right hand. It was...Emlia. Her soft silver hair dangled like strands over my arm as I pulled myself up from the blanket that was drafted over me.

My hand was bandaged heavily. Decorated with snow white wraps that went up to my elbow. What happened?

The memories began to come...of what happened the night before. I gazed out the window seeing the bright sun reach over the estate window, decorating the room in its pure yellow light..

Damn, my head...it felt like it was spinning. I threw my legs off the other end of my bed. I was dressed in a robe without any shoes on, but maybe that was for the best. WIthout shoes I wouldn't wake up Emilia.

I gazed down at the silver haired beauty. She seemed so otherworldly beautiful that just glancing at her made me feel like I was staring at an alien. Though my thoughts traveled elsewhere…

Why were people afraid of her? I quickly shook the thought out of my head. Didn't matter, wasn't my business and I knew what I had to do…

Leave…

I've stayed here too long. Way too long, and I could tell that here was a magnet for trouble. So I had to leave, now more than ever because the situation with Rem has been resolved. My feet clamped along the bare floor as I steadily and quietly opened up the door.

As I entered the hallway my footsteps were the only sound. After each step I would take I was slowly reminded of leaving, did I truly want to leave?

Yes...I had to. They wouldn't understand, but I had to go. Fix this defective gate, and recover all seven of my authorities...so I can once again be whole.

My footsteps stopped. My hand went to my face as I tried to register and find that old thought. "Authorities?" I repeated the strange words as it parted from my lips. It held some familiarity to it but I never…

I opened the door to my right pushing the thought to the deepest corner of my mind. It was just a random thought, nothing more and nothing less. "What's up...Beatrice." I called into the library

She glanced up from her book as she stared at me. She didn't show any emotion and didn't say anything, but she closed her book to face me.

"Damon, are you better?" She asked

"Fine as I can be, but my hand still hurts." I spoke as my left fingers trailed over the bandage. "Betty, I thought I broke my arm outside during the whole…"

"The maid losing her mind and trying to slaughter you, I suppose you did." She said as she began to walk towards me. "Emlia, and the maid healed your arm. Water magic, you may very well be able to take off that bandage."

It was beginning to get scratchy so I began to untwine the bandage. Letting them fall to the floor. "How…" She spoke as she approached me

"What is it?" I asked as she grabbed onto my hands.

She looked down as her soft fingers traced along them. "Who hurt...who hurt you?" She repeated as she looked into my own eyes.

I moved my hands out of her grasp, too harshly. "Don't…" I said sternly as I took a step away from her.

"Im sorry, but if you wish to speak about it."

"I don't…" I repeated as I cut her off

She looked...hurt. Though I wanted to tell her, but who was I kidding. How could I ever tell her, how can anyone ever understand...if I couldn't tell my own mother about the man I was. How the hell could I tell a practical stranger.

She didn't say anything as she moved towards a bookshelf as she grabbed onto a box and pulled out a pair of gloves. She tossed them to me. "Wow, there even repaired"

"The demon maid did it."

It took me a second to register the information as a singular word parted from my lips. "Rem…"

I took a deep breath as I turned my glove to see the palm. Stitches lined it, the area where the ice pike was shot and pierced my palm. Memories of our previous encounters surged through my head as I took a step back, my left hand gripping over my right. Like the pain was still there.

"Never again…" I said to myself. I will never ever be useless...I will never be powerless.

"Betty…" I called out to her as she once again took a seat on her chair while holding that book. "Magic...I am ready to learn more about yin magic."

"Damon…" She said my name to gain my attention but I continued.

My hands went into the air as I began to stretch. "It's fine Betty if I can't learn anything offensive. I was thinking about learning how to control my shammac better, or can I…"

"Damon!' She shouted so loud that I had to cover my ears

I glanced down at her. Seeing her fingers curled into a fist. "Are you a fool!"

"What?" I asked in disbelief

"You completely disregarded my words yesterday." She exclaimed. "Don't use your shammac multiple times, don't push your gate to your limit."

"I didn't have a choice…" I stuttered out

She took a deep breath, as her eyes focused on me. "You knew Rem was going to come after you."

"Yeah...so."

"So instead of warning Betty, instead of warning bubby or Emelia. You choose to fight an unwinnable battle, why!"

Why did I do it...I could have asked for help. No, my pride wouldn't allow that...I wouldn't allow anyone to take the vengeance I deserved.

My fingers barreled into a fist as the thoughts of that assassin came into view. It was all by luck, that we were able to defeat her. Those damn purple eyes...that malicious intent. "How...explain!" She yelled to gain back my attention

"How can I...how can I ever rely on anyone else's strength." My eyes were on the floor. "How, explain that to me Beatrice. I would rather die than rely on anyone else. Because I know that if I fail it will be my fault and my doing."

The war, and in my first years as a highwayman and a drifter I have been alone. Even before that I have always been alone, and that solitude...that loneliness can never leave you.

I can't rely on others...that's just in my nature, that's the type of man I am. Even if I have to die and use this curse over and over again, I won't let someone else fight my battles. This is my war...

This road that I walk...is full of corpses and broken promises. It is a lonesome road that I must walk alone, and at the end...maybe I can find myself, and my purpose.

"As long as I have my pride...it is my greatest weapon, and I can't lose it."

She looked...disappointed. She took a deep breath as she reopened her book, like I wasn't even there. "Betty won't help you, she won't teach you magic. Learn magic somewhere else, but Betty isn't going to let you kill yourself and blood be on her own hand."

A torrent of wind pushed me out of the door back into the hallway as I yelped. My last view of her as she stared at me, disappointment in her eyes.

I got up as the door slammed into my face. "Damn you, Beatrice."

I opened the door only to see one of the many guest rooms in the mansion. "Damon…" a soft voice was spoken down the hall.

"Emilia…" I said as I turned towards her

Her warm purple eyes were filled with concern as Puck was resting onto her shoulder. "Well you're looking better, Damon." He said as he moved closer to me

"Feel better...nearly got murdered last night but hey, got to move the feet around. Don't you think?" I spoke sarcastically, as I approached the pair

He groaned as he facepalmed. "Your awake meaning that Roswell has something he wants to tell you, it's pretty important so everyone is going to be there…"

I gazed back at the door. "Betty…"

"Yes...also my sister." He glanced at the door. "Did something happen...did you try to make a contract with her?" He asked

"No, Puck I don't even know what a contract is." I said as I made my way closer to them

"So, what did you ask of her then?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She taught me magic a couple of days ago. So, I was hoping for some more lessons."

A groan escaped his lips. "Lia...go to the main dining room."

She listened to his command as she began to walk towards the dining hall. But before, she took a quick glance...catching my eye, before she departed.

"Damon, you really pushed yourself yesterday. I get it that you were in a really bad situation. Rem was wrong and she is already receiving her punishment, but what happened to you was bad…"

"Bad…" I repeated

"You're a fool, Damon...your od"

"This is like the third time today that someone has called me a fool, and what even is an Od. I could swear that I heard it before."

He whisped towards me. "Your Od is like your soul...or your lifeforce. You can gain mana from there but it's like…"

"Playing with your life." I took a deep breath as I positioned myself near a wall and rested my back along it. "How bad is my gate now…"

He took a deep breath. Like a doctor that was going to announce some bad news. "Your gate before was defective and severely damaged, but now it's completely tarnished. Even casting shammac could put you in the hospital for a couple of days."

My fingers coursed through my hair as reality began to set in, of how useless I truly was. "So now...before I could have managed with one or two shammacs, and maybe a minya." My eyes began to slowly water. "Now...I can't even do anything!" I shouted as my fist collided with the wall.

"Also you being a fool...I call it like I see it. You bought the axe and waited for her to come after you. Me, Emlia, even Betty would have assisted you."

The thought never did come to mind...but I never did like relying on people. "Puck it was my fight, and…"

"And what, what would have happened if you died, ever thought of how Emlia would feel." He backed away from me. "Betty even taught you magic knowing full well how bad your gate was...she trusted you, and you chose to ignore her warnings. And fight by yourself." He scoffed at my stupidity

I remembered...Beatrice crying as her small hand held my own. Why...these people who I hardly knew, why did they care?

What is he even talking about? I hardly even knew her. "Emilia...me and her have only known each other for like what. One or two days?" I said as I gazed at Puck. "We haven't even had a real conversation."

"Well...you're alright so maybe you should talk to her more. I think it would be good for both of you if you became friends."

"Good for both…" I strained the sentence as I glanced at him

He sighed like I was a complete imbecile and he would have to explain everything to me. "Ram told us about you screaming that night, nightmares. Listen, I'm not your father and I know that I don't get to tell you what to do, but I think you and Emelia can understand each other."

"You have your issues, but you don't let them bother you or release them into the open. Maybe being with others can help you heal…"

It...didn't sound so bad. But...

"Listen I don't need help, this isn't something Puck that can be fixed. Also I am going to leave soon."

I released the last part of the sentence without hesitation. He looked like he was expecting it, but did seem disappointed. Maybe he already knew, something like this...what Rem did to me couldn't be overlooked.

"Oh...really?" He said. "Well...she will miss you. It was nice having someone around her age for her."

I took a deep breath. Puck's words held a weight to them. Ram and Rem seemed cold and I doubt that they were rude or mean to Emelia. Though they seemed to let her do her own thing and support her in their own way.

Though to Emilia that loneliness...I could understand it. A sigh escaped my lips. "Yeah, listen I'll keep Emelia company before I leave though so don't worry about it. But honestly I can't stay here anymore, too many scars and bad memories reside here for me."

Me and him both began to walk to the dining room. Emelia was sitting down at the table. Plates were decorated over the table but they didn't have any food in it. "Hey...Lia. Mind if I…" My gaze went to Puck as he motioned his hand. "Can I sit next to you?"

Her eyes opened wide like a small cat. "S..sure." I pulled out the seat and sat next to her. The guilt began to bloom. Why was this so hard? Before me and Emlia got along just fine, maybe I viewed me and Emilia already as friends during our time searching for that rock, or at the very least companions.

My fingers went to my mouth as the realization dawned on me. She didn't remember...none of them did. That whole interaction where me and her spent the day together. It ended with my death, and my sacrifice.

To Emilia...I was just a boy hiding away in that crappy bar. Who got three people to work together against a common and evil enemy. The same boy who offered kindness, but before was planning on robbing her.

I felt sick thinking about it…

"Emlia...do you want to hang out today." She glanced up at the spark of my voice

She tilted her head like a curious bird. "What do you mean, Damon?"

I felt my cheeks heat up as my fingers coursed through my hair. "Like do something...me and you. Not a date or anything, but just two people doing something nice." I began to scratch my head more trying to think of anything else to say.

"Like...we don't really have to do anything. Like me and you can get drunk on the roof or you can teach me cool things from those books you read…" She tilted her head at my nonsensical rambling.

"I want to know...if you would like to be…" I forced the word out of my mouth. "Friends…"

Her fingers went to her lips like she was in disbelief, a mixture of happiness, but something else. "Are you sure…" She said as she glanced down at her lap.

"I know this is random but hey we only live once right. I know we hardly know each other but this could be really nice."

"Even though I am a silver haired half-elf." She murmured out

Her face contorted into one of general pain. Like that sentence actually held pain and hurt.

"I'm not the type that judges on appearances." I raised my hand towards her. "So how about it...friends." I once again repeated, like we were signing a contract.

She grabbed onto my hand, her soft and slender fingers. "Friends…" She repeated after me like it was some sort of foreghn word.

"Ammm I interrupting…" Roswell's strained voice spoke from the crack of the dining room

"Jesus christ…" I whispered as I let myself go from Emelia's strong grasp

Roswell followed and took his seat at the head of the table. Following next was Ram and Rem. Ram didn't meet my eyes while Rem completely avoided me, her eyes down on her shoes...for a second it seemed like she was crying.

Good...that's what that bitch gets for all the pain that she caused me. I hope that she is in distress and I will never have to see her again.

My gaze went to Roswell. "You called...and I answered but I have a feeling that I already know what this conversation is about."

"Aw...Damon. What would we do without your sarcasm, and yes you are correct." His gaze went to Rem. "Rem...don't you have anything to say to everyone."

She gazed up from her shoes. Her face shocked me, for the first time in all the loops I saw clear sadness displayed in Rem's face. Her eyes were flushed and red, from either crying too much or from her lack of sleep.

It was a particularly ugly sight...but why should I care. She...she...she...she fucking killed me. Punched me so hard that she knocked my left eye out, she doesn't deserve any sympathy.

"Rem is sorry. For everything...for not listening to Roswell, for distracting Emelia during the royal election, for…" She took a deep breath to steady herself. "For hurting Damon."

She avoided my eyes. My fingers crawled into my palms so hard that I felt blood seep into them. Sorry... that doesn't make up for any of that shit.

I scoffed as I turned away from her. Nothing she would say or ever do will make me forgive Rem. Her very sight disgusted me to my very core...because everytime I looked at her, even when she was crying.

My teeth pressed down on each other as I let out a growl. "I still see it...happening." I spat out as my gaze went back to her.

"Well Damon...Rem is planning on leaving. For what happened to you, once again I apologize and I once again shall offer you a favor...anything you want."

"Anything…"

"Anything...something like this." He motioned his hand towards Rem as she ducked her head in shame. "This can have horrific effects on my reputation, so anything you want…"

"I'm so sorry, Damon." Rem repeated

I sneered as I turned away from her. "What is she going to do...sending her back to mommy and daddy, little murderer."

Rem and Ram both shook. Not from rage, but from the sudden words being brought up.

Roswell with his shit eating grin spoke up. "Sadly Rem and Ram's parents and village were destroyed by the witch cult. They were the only ones that made it out alive."

Wait...the witch cult. Don't I have their smell on them, is that why?

I can understand now. Though I can't forgive…

"So Rem and Ram are going to get their money together, and leave." I maintained as my gaze went to the pair

Roswell shook his head and waved his left hand. "Oh no...Ram is stayyying here and Rem isn't getting any money."

"What…"

"She is lucky that she is leaving with her life." He added

"So this girl who has served you for years is getting kicked out with nothing." My gaze turned towards Ram. "No home, no money, no more family to rely on...you're throwing her out like a spent torch."

"Whhy yess!

I sneered as I turned away from the clown. "Fucking disgusting...should of have expected this from a noble."

"Watch who you're talking to, Damon!" Ram yelled as she made her way closer to his side

"Shut up Ram this doesn't involve you. Worry about your own sister, not your master."

I got out of my seat as I began to move towards Roswell. Only to be stopped by Ram blocking me.

"Who do you think you're talking to." Ram spoke as she positioned herself infront of me, her red eyes full of anger.

"You...you're even worse than Roswell. That's your sister and she went through some shit, and instead of leaving with her being the only family she had left." I sneered as I towered over her. "You abandon her, like a dog stuck outside of the rain...you fucking disgust me, your even worse than Rem."

"I don't need to prove anything to you."

"Yeah you're right...i'm a drifter that fought in a war, and suffers from nightmares...a complete nobody. Though I still remember family, my little sister...I would do anything to see her face just one more time."

"I…" Ram was about to say something. Maybe it was because I brought up sis but I already interrupted her before she could finish her thought.

"But what should I expect. Just like my family you failed to understand, and you're doing the same thing to Rem. The sex with Roswlel must be pretty good to abandon your sister over...huh?"

"Your fucking dead!" She shouted as the wind began to coarse around her

"Quite, maid!"

"Betty!" I shouted out as I saw the girl approach me. "You came, I wanted to…"

She positioned herself infront of me, acting as my defense. "Save it, Damon…"

"Kinda sounds like you forgive our little Rem. Didn't think you had it in you to forgive someone that tried to kill you." The clown prattled on, as he hid behind his smile

"Hell no. Like I would forgive Rem...sure it was a miscommunication but I won't or ever forgive her. But I won't let something like this slide."

My gaze went to Emelia and Betty as I breathed those words into existence. "Let Rem stay here…"

Roswell's eyes shot up in surprise, but his face contorted back into that sinister grin. "You aren't worried about Rem killing you…"

"No I'm not…" I took a deep breath as I gazed down at him. "I'm leaving...tonight with all my money and with my stuff. So let her stay here...I don't care."

He let out a hoarse laugh. "Not happening."

"What but you said anything…"

"I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation, Damon." He moved away his hands as he spoke. "Rem disobeyed my orders and not only that but she was so obvious about her intentions to kill that you were able to prepare the axe."

"That's true…" I said to hide my intentions. I couldn't say that I already predicted that Rem was going to kill me due to the curse.

"She failed to kill you and if you ever left this mansion then you would be a constant security risk." he took a deep breath as he gazed at Rem. "Rem dear, you really put us in a horrible situation…"

"Why...I don't understand…"

"You know too much. About the insignia, about the mansion, and you could trace my name through the mud if anyone ever figured out how the margrave mansion had killer maids." He sighed as his hands went to wipe his eyes. "Rem...for what she did to you, would have been sentenced to death as an example. Me sending her away is good for her…"

"All alone...with nothing! It's so cruel." Why was I acting like this? She killed me before, but I knew of the lonesome road that Rem would walk. I didn't want anyone to ever go through that. "Then let me leave!" I demanded as my fist slammed against the table

"No...if you leave, you're leaving in a bodybag."

"What did you say to me you clown!" I yelled as I pushed Ram to the side and continued my advance

"Damon" Emelia yelped as she ran behind me and restrained my arms.

"No, Emelia get off me...I'm going to teach this prick a less…" I stopped moving as I couldn't move my arms anymore, as Emlia had me pinned. "Emilia...why are you so strong?" I murmured out unintentionally

"Anyhow...you have your uses." Roswell prattled on

"What…"

"Athletic body, nice face…" I tilted my head. "Strong, powerful with both the magic and spirit arts. It is truly a shame of your gate and your upbringing. Born into the right house bearing the right name, you maybe would have brought great honor and fame."

"I want you…" My face contorted into a hideous expression as his words reached everyone's ears. Even Ram was staring at him with her Best "Wtf" face. "Not in that way…but you have your uses, so I offer you a position."

Emelia's grip loosened from me as Ram and Betty were staring each other off. "Frederica will be called to the mansion to replace Rem."

He got up from his chair as he spread out his arms in an exaggerated gesture. "So I offer you Damon...a spot at the Emilia camp."

"Emilia camp?" I repeated

"Now Damon let me explain to you everything…"

Roswell explained everything. About the world I lived in, of how the world was destroyed, of how the king died and what being a part of the Emilia camp was...

"Damon you okay?" Emlia asked after the whole thirty minute explanation

My hands were shaking as I got up from my seat. I placed my hands on my knees to stop them from shaking, but I was chattering around like a loose icicle.

"So you're telling me...that this election is based on the next king being elected. The king and the whole royal family were killed by some unknown disease, most likely foul play."

I got up, and my hands were still shaking as I opened the liquor cabinet. My hands were shaking as I tried to grab a glass, as it dropped from my hand and broke into minor fragments. "So this dragon picks five candidates, the final one unknown. Emelia is one of those candidates, and due to her half elf lineage many people are racist towards her, and she also looks like the spitting image of the women that nearly destroyed the world."

"Woooow...Damon you really catch on!" Roswell spoke, his accent piercing through the air

My hand combed through my hair. "So mabeast, other groups of highly trained individuals, this witch cult...is most likely going to be gunning for Emelia and anyone in her camp."

My head began to spin as the deaths repeated in my mind. "I am...going to...die."

My fingers firmly wrapped along the next cup. "Fuck it." I spoke as I grabbed the wine bottle and uncorked it. My mouth touched the lid as I dranked from it.

"...and I suppose, I can't leave." I finally spoke as my gaze went back to the clown.

"Don't be like that, Damon." He got up and began walking towards me. "Women, weapons, ancient magic or training with the spirit arts is available to you. Money, alcohol, and a mansion if you decide to stay here…"

I scowled as my eyes went to puck's. "Did you know anything about this Puck...Betty?'

"No...Betty and Bubby had no clue about the clowns plans." She said as she took a seat at the table.

"So if I want to live...I got to work for you, as a merc."

"Yes…" He raised his hand towards me as he began to walk towards me

I groaned as my hand reached his. "Fucking bullshit...can't even believe this."

"Sooo what is going to happen to Rem." Roswell asked after the handshake was complete

"What do you mean?" My eyes went back to Rem who was staring back at her shoes. "She has to go…"

I can't even look at her…

"If you are willing I may very well change my mind...so just say it, Damon. She can stay here, but you two must coexist. I doubt that Rem will attack you ever again, but it is your call."

"My call…" I repeated

I couldn't separate her from her family. I can't forgive her, but I can't...it would be too cruel for her to walk such a road.

My gaze went back towards her. She regretted it, but before she didn't regret slaughtering me like an animal. Just because of this damn smell...

"Fine...whatever."

"Well Rem looks like your back working for me." He said as he began to walk out of the room like this whole conversation never happened.

Everybody began to leave...well except for Rem and me. She looked like she was willing to say something but…

"Rem...is sorry."

"What?" I turned back towards her. Before I was planning on leaving but now she was apologizing to me.

"I am sorry, and thank you for…"

I stared at her. "I can't…"

"What…" She repeated

"I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU!" I shouted, my voice roaring throughout the room

She backed away from me as she began to cry. "I am sorry, Rem is sorry and she will…"

"What make it up!" My hand went to my chest. The feeling of my ribcage flying through me, the pain was still there...ingrained into my memory. "How can you make what you did to me up?"

"She will...I promise." She murmured out once more. Her hands around herself as snot dripped from her nose

"You dumb bitch!" I slammed my hand into the wall. "You can't fix this...Rem, you tried to kill me."

My hand went to my face as the memories surged through my head. "I haven't forgiven you, Rem. I pitied you...that is why you are still here."

She began to once again open her mouth to say something, her lower lip quivering. But I interrupted her. "Wake up...I don't give a shit about what you have to say."

"Rem…is"

"Rem this...Rem that….Stop talking in third person it's confusing!" I waved off as I continued towards the door. "I don't care anymore...we aren't friends, and I don't like you. You don't deserve forgiveness, and I honestly don't know why I ain't letting you be thrown out into the street!"

She reached out to touch me, her touch. It graced my back as I twirled around and my left hand slapped it away.

"Don't touch me. Stay away from me, from now on and I swear if you try to pull this shit on me ever again then I will fucking end you!"

My hands were clenched into fist as I made my way out of the dining room. The memories circulating inside of my head as I walked through the hallways. The same hallways that I had died in before.

This place...is cursed. Every second that I am here feels like I am suffocating. There is nothing good or pure about this place. Rem, she…

A growl came from my chest as I made my way towards the library. I had to speak to Beatrice and fix things.

Author Note

Sup

Listen Rem is awesome. She is great, and truly does love Subaru. But she kills him, violently. In many OC stories the main character forgives Rem, but I don't think that is possible. Dying hurts and Rem killed Subaru. Knowing Dismas as a character, a boy who went through many traumatic experiences that have defined him. It would be impossible for him to ever forgive Rem. Sure him and Rem aren't going to be at each others throats, but Dismas and Rem can't have the same relationship Subaru and Rem had it would be impossible. Yes, Rem and Dismas later on will sort through there issues but that level of resentment and mistrust can't just go away.

Next chapter is going to be a more funny chapter, more about Dismas opening up. Also best girl Frederica is going to show up and I got a couple of ideas for there romance. After that the newest threat is going to show up and then off to the capitol so arc 3.

I am really excited for when we reach ep13! have an awesome day everyone!

PS: Wow eighty followers! Awesome!

Dismas Mental: I saw a review asking about Dismas mental state so I will answer it here in the notes. Dismas suffers from PTSD. Both from the time his father died, the war, and his crime as a highwayman. In stressful situations he doesn't like getting touched, and is very uncomfortable. For example after getting into the fight in the second chapter he slaps Emelia's hand away, and in this one he did the same to Rem. He also suffers from frequent night terrors. More will be explained later of why he is so fucked up, mostly during ep13 and ep18.

Reviews

TheAncestor: Thanks bro glad you enjoyed!

Nauflrakha: Rem didn't get punished but the guilt was punishment enough. Thanks for reading dude

Kamishy: Thanks for reading. Also next chapter is going to be completely focused on character interactions.

Cheemz: The concept of contracts was brought up but Dismas didn't probe too much into it. Next chapter it will be talked about more in detail, also this chapter handled authorities. Thanks for reading, and I was glad that I was able to get such a response from you. Have a wonderful day!

Dracodelah: Frederica is number 1

shootdamit: I'll keep going. This was the second chap this week and I hope you enjoy!

pokemonrot: Poor Rem

WiltedGalxy: Yeah, Subaru in my opinion forgave Rem far too quickly. I hope everything works out for you okay and I hope for the best. Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading!