"I am tired of being brave."

— Anne Sexton

Rin had nightmares.

It was embarrassing to admit, and she hadn't ever willingly revealed this to anyone, but she had never grown out of the nightmares that plagued her for most of her life. When she had been younger, her nightmares had made her feel small and helpless, waking fearful and frustrated that she wasn't free from the things that made her wince at distant howls and foggy memories even in sleep. She had wethered them alone in the darkness of whatever cold place she had hunkered down for the night until she didn't need to anymore.

A-Un, for his fierce appearance and purpose, had never been anything but a comforting source of warmth and a willing pillow. For a while that had been fine, just the presence of another being was enough to remind her she was safe and for a bit, and her nightmares seemed to go away. Until it wasn't enough anymore and they came back.

Then it had been up to Jaken to jab her awake awkwardly with the end of his staff and order her to be silent as her tears were offensive to the ears of the demons present, though his tune changed as she grew to be a more integral part of the group and his midnight wake-up calls, while gruff and not exactly warm, had taken on a more...dare she say, parental tone? Regardless of the emotion behind Jaken's bumps and prods, he was always able to wake her up just as the nightmares began, snapping her out of it before it worked her up to the point of real terror. It had been enough.

Yet, even now, as the grown woman that she was, lying in bed with one of the most fearsome beings in existence, arguably nowhere safer for her to be, she would get nightmares. They were rare, much rarer than when she had been younger, but every once in awhile her brain would dredge up some memory for her to suffer through. As it had this night.

In her dream, she was running. She was always running and she was never fast enough, the shadows of teeth snapping at her heels, the gut-dropping panic of knowing that she wasn't fast enough and the desperation of wishing something—anything—would save her. Screaming for help, but no one could hear. No one was coming.

With a great shuddering gasp, she woke up, her arms shooting out wildly as she jerked her head up to look around her. She panted, blinking hard, heart pounding in her chest, as she forcefully swallowed down the rising panic. Pushing handfuls of her hair out of her face, she turned around and realized that the spot in the bed next to her was empty. This wasn't odd as Sesshomaru sometimes would wander after she had gone to sleep, however, at present, it was a little too much for Rin in the state she was in.

Her hands shook as she worked to disentangle herself from the blankets to go and find him. Behind her, the door quickly slid open and closed again and she turned to see him walking in. Their eyes met and she could see immediately that he had known. She didn't know if it was his keen nose or his hearing, but he knew that she needed him. She blinked hard, still frozen in her position half out of the bed, voice stuck stuttering on the first syllable of his name. He approached her in large strides, dropping down to take her face in his hands in perfect synchronization with her collapse. Her expression crumpled and she grasped his lapel, crying miserably.

His thumbs brushed away her tears as she gasped and shuddered, trying her best to be quiet. She leaned forward and pressed her face into his shoulder, muffling the sounds of her sobs in the silk. He enveloped her in his embrace and rested his lips against the shell of her ear, his warm breath ghosting along the skin there.

As she wept herself closer to exhaustion, she realized that he was whispering to her. Softly, and calmly telling her; "You are safe now." She gulped hard, nodding her head, agreeing with him, knowing that he was right and fighting to convince her body that he was telling the truth. She sucked in a deep breath, holding it in, before pushing it back out again. She repeated the process, closing her eyes, gulping air, and focusing on Sesshomaru. She focused on his words, she focused on his own steady breaths and his smell. She pried her fingers from his clothing and rested her flat, shaky palm against his chest, feeling his heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in a waterlogged, tired voice.

"You should not be." He answered, lifting her effortlessly and maneuvering them so that she was laying against his chest in their bed, blankets pulled up around her securely. Rin snuffled and cleared her throat, dragging the back of her hand along her cheeks to wipe away the moisture there. Her face felt swollen and raw, and, honestly, so did she. Seldom did she have occasion to cry and even less so for the kind of full-body purge of emotions that she had just experienced. In this aftermath, she felt like a doll on a shelf; boneless and glassy-eyed.

"Thank you," she mumbled, realizing that she should say something to him seeing as she had just thoroughly snotted all over his fine clothing. She tipped her head up so that her chin rested against his chest and she looked up into his face. He returned her gaze, his eyebrows pinched delicately as his hand came over and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. His eyes glanced across her face and she was sure that he was taking in her horrendous appearance, but she was too drained to really care. He had seen her worse conditions, anyhow.

"Sleep." He told her, voice low and sending a rumble through her. She nodded and dropped her face back down against his chest. She jerked herself awake a few times, but eventually, even her subconscious couldn't find an excuse to be afraid while in the embrace of her Lord and she slipped away into peaceful, blessed, nothing.

Thank you for reading! I've been sitting on this one for a few weeks and I finally decided to post it haha, so I hope that you enjoyed it!