11
The eleventh of December was the first day the Dark Lord attended breakfast at Hogwarts.
All the teachers were there a half hour earlier than usual. McGonagall seized the opportunity to try and talk people into offering more workshops on the weekend. Sprout offered to teach the children how to make Christmas ornaments the muggle way. Flitwick was talked into chaperoning a workshop the Weasley twins organised – Snape thought the head of Ravenclaw must be suicidal – and McGonagall informed them that she was planning to teach the children how to arrange candles, holly and fir twigs to make centre pieces for the Christmas table.
Snape stood his ground. It was his free weekend and he needed his recreational time! He had already agreed to host one workshop and that had to be enough.
McGonagall huffed at him and kept pointing out how much time the other teachers were sacrificing but it took more to talk the head of Slytherin into something he didn't want to do.
By the time the headmaster and his guests made their appearance – later than the teachers but still before the first student turned up – Snape was sipping his fourth cup of coffee and had been called a Grinch twice. He counted it as a success that he had not called McGonagall who was old enough to be his grandmother and whom he respected very much any names.
"Severus," the Dark Lord called jovially. "What are you doing over there? Come nearer, old friend, we missed your sharp wit and tongue."
Snape excused himself from his fellow heads of house. Getting away from McGonagall certainly was an advantage but he was not sure whether the dark wizard made a better breakfast companion. The megalomaniac was known to be rather demanding and thus certainly not much better than the deputy headmistress.
The potions master sat beside the Dark Lord, Lucius and Bellatrix sat on Dumbledore's other side. "Good morning, my Lord," Snape said as humbly as was expected of him. "I take it you are well?"
"Indeed, I am, Severus, I am," the Dark Lord poured himself a cup of tea and reached for the honey. The jar zoomed into his hand without him having to use his wand. "The new quarters I was assigned are pure bliss. No snoring from Lucius, no Bella to disturb me in the middle of the night." He sighed happily. "Did you know that she has a habit of casting random curses in her sleep? It was very inconvenient when we were sharing a suite of rooms."
"I see," Snape agreed. "And I assume keeping a shield up in your sleep would have been equally inconvenient."
"It can be done, of course, but I feel not so well rested after keeping it up all night. Anyway, I have my own rooms now and I slept like a baby."
"I hope the presents my Lord got from the advent calendar were worth the inconvenience." Snape poured himself a fifth cup of coffee.
"Easily, Severus." The Dark Lord rummaged in his robe pocket and produced a series of little trinkets as he described how much he had enjoyed getting them. "The highlight," he ended his tale, "was of course that hair potion of yours. It was delightful! – Ah, look, students!"
A group of Slytherin seventh years, led by Draco Malfoy, were the first to come to breakfast that day. They bowed to the Dark Lord as one before they sat and the dark wizard raised his cup to them solemnly. Draco added a small bow to his father before he sat down.
When finally, the last students – Harry Potter and his group – had turned up and were fed, Dumbledore announced that it was time to open the advent calendar. The Dark Lord's bag, as well as Lucius and Bellatrix's, had been transferred to the wall where the teachers' bags were.
Dumbledore offered to bring the Dark Lord's present but the other wizard insisted getting the parcel was part of the charm of calendar and got up to get his present.
On the way back to the table, Dumbledore explained how they had made it a tradition to wait until the students had opened their gifts just in case one of the children needed assistance. "The younger years," he explained, "sometimes have trouble dealing with the gifts if the magic involved is too advanced for them."
The Dark Lord nodded in understanding although Snape could tell that the wizard was eager to open his own gift.
"Look!" he pointed out to his more sinister master to keep him entertained. "Somebody got one of these invisibility hats."
The Dark Lord roared with laughter. Snape was puzzled. Yes, the hats were entertaining but certainly not that funny.
"Sorry," gasped the older wizard as he rubbed tears of mirth from his eyes. "I just remembered how Lucius tried to brush his teeth after Bella had hexed that hat onto his hat permanently. It was too funny!"
"I can imagine," the potions master agreed dryly.
After having had a good laugh, the Dark Lord scanned the hall for more amusing gifts and he was not disappointed. He spotted somebody who had got a clown nose at the Ravenclaw table – a muggle gift but still the champion of pureblood superiority found it exceedingly funny.
Dumbledore pointed out a group of young Hufflepuffs who were playing with a new magical toy. It was a ball they threw between the group. Whoever held it, got the head of an animal instead of their own only to turn back to normal as soon as they threw the ball to somebody else. The headmaster and his guest had fun trying to guess into which animal the next child was going to turn. Dumbledore got a dog and an eagle right, the Dark Lord guessed a cat and a deer correctly.
Lucius spotted Seamus Finnigan who had got a sugar quill. The sweet changed the seventh year's voice and soon he sounded like a little girl. His housemates had fun making him talk as much as possible. Snape found it interesting that Finnigan – who had not made it into NEWT potions – had no problem quoting complicated potions recipes when talking in the voice of a three-year-old girl.
Finally, it was time for the people at the head table to open their gifts.
Snape got a bar of Honeydukes finest chocolate. Dumbledore was thrilled when he discovered a pair of self-knitting needles. He conjured a ball of yarn and by the time he left the breakfast table, he was the proud owner of a new pair of socks. McGonagall and Flitwick got bottles of shampoo. Since those had been brewed by very young children, both teachers insisted the resident potions master had a look at them before they used their gifts. Snape sniffed and rubbed a drop of the brew between his fingers and declared both bottles excellently brewed.
The Dark Lord got a ton-tongue toffee. Unfortunately, neither Snape nor Dumbledore realised what was happening before the wizard had chucked the sweet into his mouth. The effect was immediate. The Dark Lord's tongue flopped out of his mouth, now the size of a small pig. The dark wizard made a hissing noise.
"I'm terribly sorry, Tom," cried Dumbledore. "I should have warned you!"
Snape called for Potter immediately. When the boy wonder reached the table, Snape ordered him to translate the Dark Lord's hissing.
"He's laughing and he says he wants to meet the maker as soon as he can talk properly again. And he hopes that his tongue turns normal before lunch. He doesn't want to miss a meal." Potter translated faithfully. "And he wants you to dance on the table." After a glare from Snape, the boy added "Sir".
"He's not saying that!" cried Snape. "You little liar!"
"Sorry, it was too good an opportunity," Potter apologized but the Dark Lord pointed at the table and nodded vigorously. He seemed to like Potter's idea.
"He wants to see a jig," Potter translated. "And he asks you not to step on his tongue."
"A dance on the table? What a splendid idea!" cried Dumbledore. A wave of his wand cleared all tables and the old man was up on the head table at surprising speed. The students followed his lead without hesitation. Snape could have kissed the old man. This way, the potions master could do the Dark Lord's bidding without feeling exposed.
At last, the Dark Lord was the only one not to join the dance. His tongue was simply too awkward for dancing. Instead, he waved his wand and the Great Hall was filled with music.
That day, lessons started a little late but nobody cared. The children had fun and the teachers were glad that their charges were sufficiently distracted from the difficult situation outside the safety of their castle.