Author Notes: Sorry for that wait. Holiday exhaustion got the better of me. I really am getting old, huh? ;P

Silhouette

Part 1 - Control

Chapter 14 - Struggles

Goten shook and coughed as he continued to glare toward the place where he knew that guy still lived. Rage filled him like never before and he wanted to jump on that urge to kill the person responsible. He wanted to jump on that so badly. That guy not only stole his dad from him, but now he had killed his mom, too! Goten needed to enact revenge; his blood boiled with the need.

"Goten," Gohan said as he held onto him. "Breathe."

"I - I - I don't want to, Gohan!" Goten shouted as he fought against the arms of his big brother. "Let me go! I want to - I have to -"

"I know!" Gohan snapped, squeezing him tightly. "We need to let Vegeta handle him, okay? We aren't a match and -"

"I don't care!"

With a burst of energy, Goten shoved the arms away from him. He sprang from the hold of his brother and shot off into the sky, turning away to stick his tongue out. Angry tears filled his eyes, leaving tracks down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop shaking. Meanwhile, Gohan gaped at him, hovering in the air with his arms out.

He couldn't believe his brother had chosen to quit. Their mom had been killed by that monster and Goten wouldn't accept the idea that they didn't stand a chance. Deep down, he knew he stood no chance against the god ki of the blue Super Saiyan. He knew that! But it shouldn't matter!

His mom was gone . That was all that mattered now. And the guy who did it still breathed. That wasn't right. Goten had to do something.

"Even if you're too scared, Gohan," Goten said, spitting the words out across the air. "Just like last time! I don't care! I'm going to get him for what he did to mom!"

"Goten, don't -"

Shaking his head, he gathered his energy about him and rushed backwards through the sky. He spun around, the tears falling and dropping behind him in the wind. His hair slapped against his head as he flew away from Gohan as fast as he could. He didn't want to be caught and held back anymore. He wanted to kill!

Though as his bangs danced in front of his vision, he grit his teeth and scowled. His hair looked too much like that monster. He didn't want to be anything like that guy. His dad was gone. That wasn't his dad anymore. Something had happened to his dad and now there was only this jerk . When he got the chance, Goten would cut off his spikes and force his hair to do something different; he'd throw away those figures and rip up those posters. There was no reason to hold him up as some special hero anymore. Not after what that guy had done.

Electricity snapped around him as he flew and raced through the skies. Birds dove out of his way, but he kept going. Energy rushed through his body, spurned by the heated anger burning in his chest. He missed his house and kept flying. Faster and farther. On and on and on.

He circled the world as he tried to control his emotions. As he tried to think of what he could do to get revenge for his mom's death. Tears refused to stop falling and he sniffed even as he screamed and rushed about faster.

In the end, though, he had no plan and he landed on the roof of his house with a snarl. That guy sat in the grass, holding his mother's body, and Goten wanted to lash out even more at the sight. How could he sit there and cry when Goten was the one who had lost one of his rocks in this world? Goten was the one who couldn't stop crying here. How could that guy show any emotion about what he had done? It wasn't right!

When dark eyes snapped up and caught his own, Goten scowled. "You monster!"

The man flinched back a little but then those eyes narrowed and the voice of his dad - but it wasn't his dad! - shouted up at him. "Goten! Leave! Go to Gohan! Don't come back here!"

"I won't! You -"

"Now, son!"

His heart skipped a beat and Goten rose into the air and ran away before his brain could react further. He shook his head even as he looked behind him and forced himself to stop and hover and think while the sun warmed his back. That had sounded like his dad, at least when his dad was mad enough to put his foot down, which happened so rarely. It reminded him of when his mom had to scold him, and the ache in his heart made tears course down his face anew.

"Mom...Dad really is still in there, isn't he?" With a sniff, he clenched his fists at his side and felt the anger rise. "But he killed you! It's not Dad if he killed you, Mom!"

Memories hit him of that first time he'd met his dad. Standing behind his mom as everyone else crowded the beloved Saiyan who had sacrificed himself for the world, the one they all called a hero. Goten had been both nervous and excited. He'd had stories told to him, stories from Gohan, but nothing compared with meeting the man for real. How often did the dead get to keep their bodies and come back for one special day?

Heart pounding, he hid behind his mother's skirts until his dad pushed the others aside and took a few steps closer. Goten stared up at the halo and the hair that matched his own. He met the bright, kind, soft eyes and introduced himself with a trembling breath. His dad gave his own name and for a couple more breaths, Goten couldn't do anything else but stare.

Then he'd run into those arms, knowing this guy would always love and protect him and do everything possible to make him feel happy and safe. Warmth filled him at being so easily accepted by his father, at being picked up and held, at hearing the man's laugh and knowing everything was all right when Goku was around, just like everyone had always said.

Well, now things were different. Now his father had lost to some monster. Even if he still fought, it didn't matter. But, Goten had heard his dad's voice and reacted like any child would to the frustration and harsh bark of command from a parent. His mother had taught him well, after all.

Hovering here, Goten closed his eyes and felt the unstable transformation drop away. It hurt. Everything still hurt so much. But he couldn't take his anger out on that guy anymore. He still didn't believe it was his dad, that it was some monster controlling his father, but he couldn't fight him anymore because - because there had been something there of his father after all.

Gohan was right. Fighting him wouldn't do anything anyway. They needed to think of something else, but what?

And beyond that, what could they do to protect their mom? Could they bring her back with dragon balls and convince her not to trust that monster anymore? He needed to talk to Gohan. He needed - he needed to cling to someone right now anyway.

~!~

Gohan winced as his younger brother went flying away in the air at a speed that made him hesitant to chase. Instead, he hovered in the air and rubbed one of his arms, finally noticing the blood coating parts of his green tracksuit. He sighed. Fighting his dad had been a mistake, whether or not it felt justified at the time and still did feel justified, if he were being honest with himself.

If not for Vegeta stepping in, things could have gone even more horribly wrong. Thankfully, all they had to deal with was his mother's death now, on top of his father's insane personality flips. Goten may have flown off yelling about fighting their dad again, but a check on his ki reassured Gohan that his brother wouldn't be doing any such thing. Goten had found a new way to handle his emotions - by flying around the Earth however many times it took him to calm down.

A good way to let out all that excessive rage, too. Considering that, Gohan let him go and hovered as he tried to think of what to do now. His research hadn't gotten very far, yet. A personality disorder, sure, but he still couldn't pinpoint which one . Maybe he should finish out this current degree and then switch to psychology so he could feel more in the know, find a way to help his dad, even if that path would take too long.

Unless they could lock his dad up somewhere and wait.

He shook his head at the prospect. He didn't like the idea of imprisoning the one who had been the Earth's savior time and time again. A sickness hit his stomach just at the thought. There had to be something else they could do, some other way to help his dad control the monster inside him.

Of course, that would have to wait, too. He had to get home and talk to Videl. Holding in his emotions about his mother's death was going to weigh on him if he didn't let it out soon, and she would understand the need to talk through this. Considering everything that had happened, Gohan felt he was doing a pretty good job keeping calm now, but he could feel it bubbling in his chest, an ache wanting to rip its way out and drown him.

So, right, home.

Spinning around in the air, Gohan decided to leave Goten alone for now, though he kept a close watch on his brother's energy signature just in case things decided to get dicey again. He traveled home with thoughts of his mother and father swarming his mind. How many times had he tried to convince his mom to leave? How many times had she told him everything would be fine? And after all that, after so many days of surviving that fear and pushing it to the side, reassuring himself and Goten that their mom could handle herself, here they were with their mother dead because of their father snapping.

He shuddered as he landed on the front lawn of his house. To his surprise, someone stood under the awning of the doorway. Someone he hadn't seen in a while. Gaping up at the green Namekian he called mentor and friend these days, Gohan walked forward and tried to think of something to say.

"Piccolo?" Apparently that was all he could force out of his mouth right now. "What?"

His old mentor smiled, as much as Piccolo could smile, and then dropped it. "I felt what happened, sort of. Mind explaining?"

Gohan tensed. "Yeah. Uh. Long story short? Dad killed Mom."

Saying the words made his vision swim for a minute, and he had to squat down in the grass to keep his head clear. As if from some place distant, he heard the front door opening, heard Videl ask a few questions, and then his wife sat beside him in the grass. She grabbed his hand and refused to let go, being that presence he so desperately needed.

A part of him wondered if Pan was doing all right, but he could trust Videl not to leave the baby alone. If anything, Piccolo could handle watching her for a few minutes, and his Namekian ears would have no trouble picking up her cries. He was pretty proud of his ability to calm Pan down and knowing every little thing to dote on her perfectly.

Gosh, thinking of parenting right now wasn't a good idea. He had to flop back on the grass, finding that he laid against Videl more than anything and tried to smile, only to feel his face break down. His parents might as well both be gone now. His mom because she had died, and his father because he couldn't control the darker personality within him. He'd always had at least one of them to be his rock in this world, and now he had neither. He hadn't felt this alone since Piccolo had left him in the wilderness as a training exercise.

"Gohan," Videl murmured. "I'm here for you."

He reached out into the void and clung to her, taking in the scent of her latest perfume. Some kind of peach smell, reminding him of the countryside where he grew up. Of the farmer's markets his parents would take him to as a child each year. Of his mother holding his hand. Of his father giving him different foods to taste.

"I don't know how to handle this, Videl," he muttered. "I can't believe this is even happening. It feels like some kind of bad dream."

Soothing hands brushed back his hair. "I know. I can't imagine how it feels. It hurts me because your parents have always been so kind and welcoming and they don't deserve this. None of you deserve this."

"But it's happening anyway."

"You'll figure it out, Gohan," Videl said. "You're so close. I know you are."

He shook his head and sat up, feeling the world fade back into color. She had her arms around him, but he shifted positions to hang onto her hands and squeeze around her fingers. Her hands were calloused from all the fighting she still partook in, even though they were worn down and not as obvious now since she'd been taking care of the baby. Her eyes met his with a sweet, understanding gleam, the tear tracks on her cheeks making him realize there were tracks on his own.

This was so rough. Why was the world around them so peaceful? Bees and butterflies in their bushes. A clear, clean, freshly mowed lawn. Piccolo hovering and holding Pan in his arms - because apparently the baby had needed attention at some point.

Meanwhile, Gohan felt like he spent more time crying than he had since he was a child himself. Except time had disappeared from him in the process. He couldn't even remember letting it all out. He just wrapped himself in that calm presence of his wife, searching for the smell and ki and heartbeat that comforted him during all the rough patches of life.

After a few more moments of silent contemplation, Gohan got to his feet, bringing Videl with him, and wiped the tears from his eyes. It was time to brainstorm a solution. He couldn't sit and read anymore. He needed to do something, anything. Action of some sort would be better than sitting around waiting for a fix to drop in his lap.

Piccolo met his gaze. "I'll help Dende keep an eye on your father."

Gohan grimaced. "Yeah, best thing we can do until a better solution presents itself. Vegeta really is the only one who can fight him, and I think the only one who can trigger him back to normal for some reason, too."

"Vegeta, huh?" Piccolo said, gazing off in the distance. "That makes sense."

Gohan grunted. Sure, he'd pretend that it made perfect sense, then. Let Vegeta be the only one to know how to calm his father down, but what could they do? Force his dad to stay somewhere at Capsule Corporation guarded by Vegeta? He didn't think either one of them would be happy at that idea, especially not if it would put Bulma and the unborn baby in her womb in jeopardy.

Ugh, this was so hard! Why couldn't he think of a good solution?

Rubbing his head, Gohan cursed under his breath, earning a shocked glance from Videl. He shrugged, she hummed, and no one mentioned the slip of his tongue. Pan slept comfortably in Piccolo's arms and she wouldn't be able to recognize or repeat a word or phrase like that anyway.

Before he had a chance to get his thoughts churning, Goten landed in the front lawn. No longer in Super Saiyan, his younger brother practically ran across the grass to wrap arms around Gohan's waist and cling. No words came from Goten, so he did what he always did when his brother needed him. He let him cling and he patted his back and shoulders to be as comforting as possible.

"Hey, Goten," he said after a while. "How are you holding up?"

Goten sniffed and pulled away, rubbing at his eyes. "I wanna wish Mom back."

Gohan grimaced. "We can't do that. Dad already used the dragon balls to wish back everyone in that city. We'll have to wait."

"I don't wanna wait!" Goten snapped, pulling away and stomping his feet in the grass; was it Gohan's imagination or was his younger brother finally gaining some inches in height? "There has to be a way to get the dragon balls again, Gohan. Maybe we can ask Dende."

Even while he shook his head, Piccolo stepped forward. The Namekian handed Pan off to Videl and gazed down at the both of them. While Gohan had definitely gained in height after his major growth spurt in his teenage years, Piccolo still towered over most everyone in the world.

"Dende can't change the rules," Piccolo said. "But Earth's dragon balls aren't the only ones in existence."

Videl tilted her head. "Really? Where else could you get them from?"

Gohan stared at Piccolo, glanced to Videl, then shook his head. "That's a crazy idea. New Namek has them as well, I'm sure, but we don't even know where that planet is yet. No one's actually gone there the normal way before."

"But - But, Gohan l, we have to wish Mom back!" Goten cried, pounding into Gohan's side as he wailed. "I need her back. I was supposed to keep her safe and I failed. I need to fix it. I need my mom!"

Feeling his heart break at his brother's words, Gohan toyed with his bottom lip. He glanced to Videl. She met his eyes, then gave a small smile and nodded. Of course. Videl would probably go with them if she didn't have a baby, but she would be all right waiting, at least this time.

Next, he looked to Piccolo. His mentor nodded as well, though he kept his typical stoic expression. It had been Piccolo's idea, after all, and the Namekian had already promised to watch his dad. Not that there was much Piccolo or Dende could do in this situation, but it felt nice to have their support at least.

"All right," Gohan breathed, squatting down to meet Goten's eyes. "We'll find New Namek and wish Mom back as soon as possible."

"You mean it?"

Reaching out to ruffle his brother's hair, Gohan was surprised at how calm he could make his voice sound. "Yeah. I'll talk to Bulma tomorrow. For now, let's go inside and pack for the trip."

Goten wiped his face and then nodded. "Right! Thanks, Gohan! I knew you would understand."

The smile that fell on Gohan's face felt a little forced. He could almost hear the words Goten wasn't speaking. His brother had more faith in him than anyone else, even - no, especially - compared to their dad now. As much as Gohan had to agree considering the circumstances, it still sent an ice cold ache all the way through his chest.

Would Goten ever be able to repair his relationship with their father? Or was that thinking too far into the future?

He sighed. One thing at a time. That's all he could do for now. One thing at a time.

~!~

In the middle of the night, Videl woke with a start. Gohan slept beside her, calm and cool and finally settled down enough to relax after such a rough day. She sat up and took a moment to study how his face actually seemed less drawn, less worn, less tense while he slept. Good for him. She was glad he could find some relief in his dreams, and she had to reach out and run fingers through his hair and push back his bangs.

Gohan murmured something indecipherable at the touch but otherwise stayed still and silent. Good. She wouldn't want to wake him. Though she did have to wonder what had snapped her awake so suddenly. She couldn't remember any dreams or nightmares, and Pan still slept without a sound.

A mother's instinct preparing her ahead of time for her child waking up? Chi-Chi had told her how such things could happen, often at the most inopportune times.

Or was it a nightmare that had startled her awake? One that she'd forgotten as soon as her eyes opened? No, that didn't make much sense, even if there would be probable cause. After what Gohan had told her, anything could happen in her dreams. Killed by her own husband. Something that should only happen in nightmares, but then Chi-Chi had met such a fate the other day.

With a sigh and a quiet shudder, Videl slipped out of bed and wrapped a maroon robe around her otherwise only underwear clad body. The fluff against her skin brought a substitute of warmth for the sleeping husband she was leaving in bed. She'd have to get used to sleeping without him, since he had planned to leave in a spaceship to search out some distant planet.

All to wish their mother back. Well. After seeing Gohan's reaction - and then Goten's - she didn't blame them. They needed something to do.

Meanwhile, she'd be left on Earth with Goku roaming around unable to control himself. Or whatever personality trait was causing him to snap. Videl shuddered. She hoped someone would come up with a solution soon. She would fight Goku if she had to, but defending herself and Pan against her own father-in-law seemed like some sort of sick joke.

The sick feeling in her stomach grew tighter and she shook the thoughts away. She needed to stop thinking about the disastrous unprecedented situation. There was nothing she could really do at this point, except to support the boys in their decision and make sure they had a happy home when she returned. As much as she wanted to go with them - well, Pan still needed her mother and bringing the baby out to space would be a terribly irresponsible idea.

With another sigh, Videl slid into a pair of fluffy red slippers and walked out of the room with the soft footsteps she could manage. Gohan didn't budge an inch. She sent a smile over her shoulder at him, then shut the bedroom door and made her way down the hallway toward the kitchen. Something to settle her upset stomach would be good. Crackers or bread, maybe. Of course, she had nausea medicine she could take as well, from the days of morning sickness. She wondered if she'd ever have a second child. Gohan spoke as if it were unlikely, even though they were open for more.

A clatter of dishes on the counter brought Videl up short. Darkness covered the living room and entryway and the kitchen beyond it, so she had to pause to wait for her eyesight to adjust. All while her heartbeat pounded in her chest. Narrowing her eyes, Videl focused on the energy within her body, making herself ready to fly at a moment's notice. Burglars weren't a fear for her, but she had to wonder how they'd managed to get into the house without a sound up until now.

And what were they doing in the kitchen anyway?

"Mom…" A familiar voice mumbled in the darkness. "I'm hungry, Mom."

Oh, Goten…

Taking a breath, Videl stepped into the kitchen, reaching for the light. Before she could click it on, the area filled with a sudden glow - as well as a heart wrenching scream. Eyes widening, Videl watched as a sleepy - or still sleep-walking? - Goten exploded into light and power in her kitchen. Cabinet doors flew open and dishes clattered everywhere, some falling to the tile and shattering into a pile of glass.

"You killed her!"

Videl held her hands up as Goten screamed, his finger pointing in her direction. Maybe gathering her ki earlier had been a mistake. The boy's eyes were closed, even with tears leaking from the eyelids, so he clearly still slept and he'd snapped into that volatile Saiyan transformation while having his sleep-walking nightmare.

Pushing her energy beneath her, Videl floated above the floor and then did her best to soar backwards away from the sleeping Saiyan child. Goten locked onto her movement and rushed toward her, energy and lightning crackling around him. She flinched, bringing her arms up to attempt whatever defense she could manage against the much stronger Saiyan, but a form flashed into being from behind her in less time than it took her to blink.

"You all right, Videl?"

Gohan.

Relief washed over her. Her shoulders relaxed and she floated down to the floor. She mumbled a quick affirmation and then frowned at the scene, heart still racing in her chest. Golden auras filled the previously darkened house. Goten's aura cracked with more electricity and Videl jumped back with a sudden jerk. Gohan grunted as he held onto his brother's fist, refusing to let go of the sleeping Saiyan child.

While Goten wore a thick pair of green pajamas, Gohan only had on his pajama pants, a bright yellow that looked odd with the golden aura of his Super Saiyan ki circling him. Gohan also had on a white tank top with a few little tears, thanks to their bedtime antics the other day; she hadn't gotten around to repairing the shirt and it was something he wore to bed practically every night. He clearly hadn't spent much time getting ready after being forced awake so suddenly.

Thank goodness, too. Goten had almost attacked her. In that state, it probably would have been a nightmarish response. Videl considered herself a tough woman, and by most standards she could handle any fight that was thrown in her direction. But when it came to these Saiyans, she didn't stand a chance, so thinking of how close Gohan's younger brother had been to smashing her face...she gulped.

"Goten." Gohan's voice sounded unnaturally soft and smooth surrounded by such volatile energy. "You're safe. You're at my home. It's the middle of the night, and you need to wake up."

While her husband continued to talk gently to his little brother, Videl thought of Pan; strange how the baby hadn't uttered a single cry yet. Shaking her head, she focused back on the brothers. If Pan wasn't awake, it was strange, but she'd take the small blessings.

Goten's fist finally relaxed from his punch, and his arm dropped to his side slowly once Gohan released him. "Gohan, I - I can't control it - it's - it's too much."

"I know, I know," Gohan said, setting hands on his brother's shoulders and looking the boy in the eye. "Come outside with me and we'll work on it right now. I'm sorry. I should have worked with you right away."

"It...feels funny," Goten whined, bringing a hand to his chest and squeezing at his shirt. "I don't like this. I can't make it stop."

"It's okay, Goten. It's not easy. Now come on. I forgot you were a sleepwalker, but we can both apologize to Videl later, huh?"

"Huh?"

Videl sighed as the child looked up at her. At least he was awake now. He still trembled a little and breathed heavily as if holding in way too much power for his small body to control. She wanted to run to him and tell him everything would be okay. That they would be successful in finding New Namek. That his mother would be wished back in no time. That his father would go back to normal.

But she didn't have the heart to step in between the brothers right now. Let Gohan handle things. Even as Goten looked around the room and noticed the wreck in the kitchen, even as the boy tried to shout an apology out to her, Gohan led him out to the backyard with only a single glance back at her.

Pressing her lips together, she nodded, then made her way back to Pan's bedroom. With all the excitement, it really was a wonder the baby continued to sleep. Nothing had moved or shifted at all in the room back here. Videl smiled as she stood over the crib and watched her daughter rest amid the soft blanket made by Chi-Chi. And in her arms, Pan gripped a little stuffed rabbit, a gift from her grandfather, Goku.

"I hope things can go back to normal," Videl murmured, reaching over to rub her daughter's back. "I really do. It wouldn't be right for you to grow up without Goku around to lighten every room you're in. I'd hate for you to miss that wholesome, comforting presence of his. I really hope he can go back to that without any more troubles. This has been enough heartbreak for this family, if you ask me."